


Sunrise

by mylittlesyn



Series: To: My Loving Star [6]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Bondage, Breastfeeding, Cock Warming, Depression, Dirty Talk, Dissociation, Dom/sub, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, Drama, Drama & Romance, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hate Sex, Lactation, Love, Making Love, Making Up, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pregnancy, Public Sex, Romance, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, S&M, Smut, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:01:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 151,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28440576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mylittlesyn/pseuds/mylittlesyn
Summary: Kessho (Female OC) and Kakashi are now living married life, with Kakashi now as Hokage and twins along the way. The war is now over and the ninja that does not exist is starting to grow... A little restless with the lack of chaos. Plus, how are two emotionally stunted ninja supposed to parent?So far the way I've written it, it's pretty ok to read on its own without having read parts 1 or 2. (Pancakes is their safeword, forgot that part)I'm just going to lay this out there outright. If you're looking for something super fluffy, or characters who are perfect, where everything works and 'I love you no matter what' because everything is always perfect, or silly tantrums that could've easily been talked out as the form of angst... Don't look here. Relationships take work and I believe that that will make them stronger if two vastly imperfect people work on themselves together... Grow together. There's going to be a lot of angst. (I love writing angst). But it's always constructive and helps build them up. That being said, there are fluffy moments, and when they have them... So please, enjoy!
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Original Female Character(s), Hatake Kakashi/Original Female Character(s)
Series: To: My Loving Star [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1959169
Comments: 17
Kudos: 32





	1. But you are showing

**Author's Note:**

> So this is kind of going to be time skip galore. I'll try my best but Kishimoto himself said fuck timelines so yeah. This is main part three to the To: My Loving Star series.  
> As always I'm proofreading myself and my grammar sucks so, I'm sorry about that... 
> 
> I thank you all for reading and hope you enjoy the work!

“I feel kind of guilty. Here we are out on the beach, having a nice time, when there’s so many who’ve lost so much…” I put down my book and looked at Kakashi who was sitting under the umbrella on the beach chair reading his copy of Icha Icha. I kept thinking about how sad Ino was at the mass funeral service. I know I stood by her for it but… I should be there for her now.

“Ino would want you to enjoy yourself right now. You and I both know that.” He spoke with such a bored tone… So much for enjoying ourselves. He peeked up from his book to glance at me and he frowned when he put his book down. “Should you be laying on your stomach like that?” He questioned.

“It’s fine for me to do it, it’s not until when I start showing that it’ll press against things if I lay like this.” I clarified and he raised his eyebrow.

“But you are showing.” He stated matter-of-factly.

“What.” I asked more as a warning.

“Kessho they’re twins. You’re going to be showing sooner than last time, and you’re already showing.” He chuckled and my lips grew tight while I threw my book at him. The book hit his bicep before dropping onto the ground. “Throwing books at me isn’t going to make you show any less.” He teased, so I rolled over onto my back while still laying on the towel. I felt my belly and… I suppose it was getting big… I know I can’t fit into my cargo pants anymore without buttoning them on underneath, like a dad with a beer belly would… “It’s our last day on our honeymoon… Let’s enjoy it.” He smiled with his head tilted. I smiled back at him before getting up. I held out my hand for him and he took it to get up himself. “What do you want to do?”

“I was thinking we could take a dip in the water before we go to the bar we went our first night here all those years ago.” I suggested while pulling him towards the water.

“You know you can’t drink sake.” He warned and I looked over my shoulder so he could see me rolling my eyes.

“I am fully aware Kakashi.” I responded as I walked into the water with him still following behind. He picked me up suddenly and ran into the water with me giggling along with his laughter as he splashed the water while getting deeper into the ocean water. Once we were deep enough, he placed me to gently float on the oceans surface. I loosened my hair and felt it spread out into the ocean water as the waves came and went, I felt my body raise and lower as he held onto my body so I don’t drift away. His gaze was on my stomach, watching closely.

“When can we hear the heartbeat?” His voice was soft and his face was peaceful.

“As soon as we get back to Konoha.” I placed a hand onto his bicep and smiled. I just really couldn’t stop smiling. “Which reminds me… What were you and Lady Tsunade talking about in her office after I left?” I asked and he chuckled.

“I was wondering when you were going to ask me about that… Well… In the war, while I was fighting Kaguya… Obito entered my headspace. When he did, we talked and he told me he wanted me to become hokage.” I stopped floating and stood up in the water. “So I was talking about it with Lady Tsunade and… When we get back… I’ll begin with the transfer of power.” I placed my hands onto his face and looked into his eyes that were searching for something in mine.

“Are you sure about this?” I questioned and he nodded with a smile. “Ok. I’ll be there to support you through anything you need me to do.” I pulled his head down and kissed his forehead. His stomach growled and we both laughed. “We should go get some food…”

I swam out of the ocean and he just walked to shore. When I got back to shore I grabbed the towel and shook off the sand to then use it to dry myself. Once I was all dry, I slid on my yukata and tied it together with the koshihimo. I then wrapped the soft obi around me and tied it in the back. After rolling up the towel and placing it into the canvas bag, along with my other things, I took out my geta and put them on. Kakashi had just finished putting his things away and I watched as he pulled the umbrella out of the sand and closed it. We put our things back at the inn and headed to one restaurant we first ate the last time we were here. They sat us at a table and we sat across from each other while eating our fresh fish, enjoying our last night in paradise before returning to reality.

* * *

Ok so the Hashirama cells culture better in 10% FBS compared to 5%... I’ll have to readjust the protocol. “Ah, Kakashi. This is where you’ve been hiding.” I heard Lady Tsunade comment as I placed the Hashirama cells back into the incubator.

“He won’t leave my side.” I muttered under my breath. He hasn’t left my side since the war, even with me being busy trying to work on something to help grow Naruto an arm. When Tsunade came up with the idea and asked for my help with the regeneration project using Hashirama’s cells… I couldn’t say no. It was the least we could do for Naruto, especially after all he’s done for us… And yet… Kakashi was here in the lab with me… Everyday. He refuses to leave my side, saying he doesn’t want to be away if something happens to the twins. At first I thought it was sweet but now… It’s getting old pretty quickly.

“You know why that is Kessho.” He retorted in his bored tone while turning the page of his copy of Icha Icha Makeout Paradise. I walked over to my lab notebook and wrote down the findings, then went back to readjust the protocol.

“How’s the research coming along?” Lady Fifth questioned while looking at my notebook.

“We’ve been able to culture the cells and establish the cell line to grow at a rate efficient enough for us to begin working on them and testing interactions with Naruto’s cells… Which Rinako, one of our best scientists, has established a culture of Naruto’s cells for us to work with.” I explained. Lady Tsunade started to look through my lab notebook, reading away.

“Good. It seems you’ll be able to start to get into the good stuff. I knew you were right for the job.” The Hokage commented before putting the notebook down. “Kakashi, we need to get started on the paperwork for transferring power.” Kakashi put down his book as he turned to Lady Tsunade and maintained a disinterested look, but gave a courteous nod. “Alright, let’s get over to the examination room, shall we?” I hung my lab coat on the back of my chair and took off my gloves to dispose of them in the biohazard waste. Kakashi grabbed my hand and we went upstairs to one of the examination rooms in the hospital. I laid down on the examination table and Kakashi stood by me. After unbuttoning my new stretchy pregnancy pants, I lifted my sweatshirt to reveal my growing belly. “You’re coming to the office tomorrow to start taking care of the paper work to transfer power.” Lady Tsunade ordered while squirting that cold gel onto my lower stomach. Kakashi gripped onto my hand tightly and I could see his jaw clench underneath his mask while he stared at me.

“I’ll make sure he gets there. We can stop by during my lunch.” I suggested and Kakashi gave me a tight smile as Lady Fifth checked the ultrasound machine. “He can fill out the paperwork in the lab with me, right?” I asked. The hokage rested her wrist for a moment.

“Kakashi… I understand that based on what happened last time, you’re afraid to leave her side.” Kakashi eyed Lady Tsunade as she spoke. “But this is a bit much. You have responsibilities yourself that you need to take care of. She’s working in the hospital for now… Surely this is the safest place for her and she doesn’t need you at her side here at least…” She tried her best to reason with him and quite frankly, I was thankful. His face was expressionless, trying to hide how he felt while he gripped at my hand tightly.

“She’s right Kakashi… I’m safe here. If anything happens, they can take care of it right away.” I encouraged while thumbing at the back of his palm. His face darted to mine and after a brief moment of worry, his grip loosened and he finally nodded.

“I’ll be there tomorrow to start the paperwork.” He smiled and turned to Lady Tsunade who had started up the sonogram again.

“You’re about ten weeks along.” She commented. That doesn’t sound right… I’m so much bigger, but I guess that’s because they’re twins. A thumping sound started coming from the sonogram machine and Kakashi’s mouth dropped open in a smile. “That’s for one…” The thumping stopped briefly before starting up again. “That’s for the second…” Kakashi’s hand squeezed at mine again before watching my face for a moment as I smiled back at him. His grin widened to that closed eyed smile I loved so much. “Alright. Everything looks good, and the due date should be May 6th.” Lady Tsunade announced while handing me a cloth to wipe the gel off of my stomach. After wiping it off, I sat up and Kakashi helped me up. “I’ll see you tomorrow Kakashi.” Lady Fifth sang before exiting the room. I bunttoned my pants and lowered my sweatshirt. Kakashi brushed my loose strands of hair that had escaped from my bun and rested his hand on my face before kissing my forehead. I held onto his wrist and stared into his eyes.

“I love you.” He cooed.

“I love you too.” I smiled. I squeezed his wrist and my smile faded. “There’s something I’ve been wanting to talk you about.” His hand dropped as I sat back up on the examination table, his eyes searching for mine as his muscles tensed up. “Relax, it’s nothing bad unless you make it bad.” I clarified.

“Alright… What is it then?” He asked while pulling up the stool to sit in front of me with both of his hands on my lap.

“I know you like wearing the mask… But it’s really important that our kids know who you are-“

“I don’t plan on wearing it at home, Kessho.” He chuckled. “Same way I don’t wear it at home when I’m with you is the same way I won’t when we have toddlers running around.”

“Ok but this is more than that. It’s really important you have skin to skin contact with them, especially as they’re newborns…” I held his hands and squeezed them tightly, staring into his eyes, trying my best to convey the importance of it all. He was staring back at me intensely. “You need to hold them against your bare chest, and spend time with them… I’m worried you won’t be able to as much as you need to when you become hokage…” My eyes dropped to our hands in my lap.

“Hey…” He lifted my chin with his hand, to look him in the eyes as he spoke. “We’ll make it work. I’ll figure it out… Most of the time I’ll be dealing with paperwork anyways, and I’ll be alone in my office… We’ll figure it out.” He lifted one of his hands from my grasp to place it on my cheek. “I promise.” I felt my muscles loosen as I smiled and he placed another kiss on my forehead.


	2. I got a girl pregnant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:  
> “I’m coming by to walk you home after you’re done here.” He informed. I let out a small sigh… Baby steps…
> 
> “Ok.” I smiled and gave him another kiss on the cheek before walking out to reception with Kurenai following closely behind. Kameko handed me my doctor’s coat as I approached, which I took and put on… Though I wasn’t able to button it anymore.
> 
> “I hope it’s alright that I sent her over.” Kameko remarked as she pulled up Kurenai’s chart. 
> 
> “Totally fine.” I waved her off before grabbing onto the chart.
> 
> “So is he going to be staying?” Kameko questioned with an eyebrow raised, referring to Kakashi.

I woke up to Rei knocking on our bedroom door.

“When is he going home?” Kakashi grumbled.

“Two more days…” I groaned while he tightened his grip around my stomach.

“I made breakfast!” Rei cried out before I heard him step away.

“Why is he still here again?” Kakashi whispered into my ear as he rested his head on mine while cuddling up against me.

“He’s been helping with the rebuilding.” I mumbled while stretching my legs. I sat up and got out of the bed and walked into the closet to grab a purple kimono embroidered with golden cranes. After putting on the red soft obi I heard Kakashi open the bedroom door and walk out. When I walked out myself, I saw Rei had made rice and miso soup. We all sat down at the table and started eating.

“So um birdie… It looks like I might be coming to visit pretty frequently.” Rei mentioned off handedly. I put down my chopsticks and raised an eyebrow while studying Rei’s fake grin.

“What’d you do?” I questioned. He chuckled nervously while tapping the chopsticks on the table.

“I got a girl pregnant.” He answered and I slapped a hand at my face while pulling down at it.

“Rei!” I shouted while Kakashi stifled some laughs. “Seriously?! What are you going to do?!” I questioned.

“I mean, I don’t know. It was a hookup.” He shrugged. “I figured I’d help out when visiting once in a while. Send some money along…” I pinched the bridge of my nose and let out a sigh.

“Send her to me. I’ll oversee the pregnancy.” I informed before continuing to eat breakfast. Once Kakashi and I finished I put on my climbing shoes instead of a tabi and some geta and Kakashi walked me to work before heading himself to the hokage’s office. At around noon, Kakashi came by and brought me lunch. We were about halfway through when Kurenai showed up.

“Congratulations Kakashi!” She chimed as she came into the room.

“On what?” He joked with a smile after having raised his mask.

“I suppose you do have quite a bit to celebrate.” Kurenai smiled at him as I quickly finished my food, scarfing it down. “Oh, please don’t rush on my account.” She insisted just as I was about to eat my last bite of fish. Too late. She let out a giggle before taking a seat. “So how far along are you?” Kurenai asked me.

“Ten weeks.” I smiled at Kakashi while holding his wrist. He smiled wide underneath his mask.

“So you mentioned this ultrasound isn’t standard… Should I be worried?” Kurenai asked with her voice full of concern as she held her stomach.

“No! Of course not!” I answered quickly. “It’s just… A lot has happened and since we are approaching the due date, I’d like to take a quick look.” I reassured with a gentle smile. “I’m sure everything is fine.” She seemed to relax some and smiled herself. I got up and placed a kiss onto Kakashi’s cheek. “I’ll see you later?” I asked with a whisper while bending down behind him to rest my chin on his shoulder.

“I’m coming by to walk you home after you’re done here.” He informed. I let out a small sigh… Baby steps…

“Ok.” I smiled and gave him another kiss on the cheek before walking out to reception with Kurenai following closely behind. Kameko handed me my doctor’s coat as I approached, which I took and put on… Though I wasn’t able to button it anymore.

“I hope it’s alright that I sent her over.” Kameko remarked as she pulled up Kurenai’s chart. 

“Totally fine.” I waved her off before grabbing onto the chart.

“So is he going to be staying?” Kameko questioned with an eyebrow raised, referring to Kakashi.

“No, he’s finally working on the paperwork with Lady Tsunade.” I gave Kameko a tight smile before looking through the chart.

“Good. I don’t know how you do it, him following you around everywhere like that…” Kameko shook her head and her lilac curls moved along with her as she did.

“I guess… I just know what we lost…” I gave her a solemn smile and she looked a little embarrassed. “Makes it easier to understand.”

“Yeah but that’s not going to happen this time.” She furrowed her brows and her lips were tight.

“We’re still scared…” I whispered as I felt tears start to well up. Fucking hormones. “Anyways! What room are we in?” I asked while chuckling and wiping away the hormonal tears.

“Room 212.” Kameko answered and I smiled and waved before heading over to Kurenai.

“I’m sorry, but I overheard-“

“It’s fine. I’m fine.” I interjected. “It’s just hormones.” I shook my head while trying to convince myself that’s all my feelings were. Nothing to be afraid of… I walked into the examination room with Kurenai and handed her the covering for her to place over her legs as she hiked up her dress. “I was actually hoping to ask you for a favor…” I trailed off while placing the blood pressure cuff on her arm.

“What is it?” Her head tilted to the side as I started squeezing the bulb to take her blood pressure.

“I need a furisode for Kakashi’s inauguration ceremony. Well I don’t need one… But… I know he likes it when I wear them, and I thought it would be a nice surprise, and it is a formal event so it wouldn’t be weird for me to wear one, but since I’m pregnant, and with twins no less, I’m worried about not finding one big enough or I’ll need to have it readjusted and-“

“I’ll help.” Kurenai snapped me out of my babbling as she smiled wide. “I think it’s a great idea. I’m sure he’ll love it.” I took note of the blood pressure and wrote it down on her chart.

“We’re going to do a blood test as well to make sure that your blood sugar is normal.” I informed as I put the cuff away.

“Is that normal?” She questioned while trying to sit up and getting tense.

“It is normal to check for, it’s not normal to have. Even if you do have gestational diabetes, this is something we can work with… We just need to know about it.” I tried my best to use a soothing voice, and she laid back on the examination table.

“Ok.” She calmed down and I proceeded with the ultrasound. Everything was normal. I showed her the heartbeat, the movements of the baby, and I measured the baby’s growth.

“Do you want to know the sex?” I questioned, but she shook her head. “Alright then that’s it!” I told her while handing her a cloth to wipe herself with. I grabbed her finger and ran my nail over the pad to help with the blood flow. Then I pricked her finger, and checked her blood sugar. “Normal. Just make sure to watch what you eat.” I smiled at her.

“Do you have time now?” She questioned.

“Time for…?”

“To take you to my tailor for the furisode.” Kurenai suggested as she rocked herself back and forth to get up. I reached out myself to finish helping her up off of the examination table.

“Sure.” I smiled. “I have time.” I walked back to reception and handed Kameko the chart. When we walked outside I saw Shikamaru waiting outside, leaning up against the post of the fence at the hospital entrance. “Shikamaru!” I smiled as I called out with a wave.

“Kessho sensei! I haven’t seen you since-“ He stopped when his gaze fell onto my stomach, where his eyes widened. “Don’t tell me you too.” He groaned.

“It’s twins. You’ll have a full team to yourself between us both.” I chuckled while he rolled his head back.

“What a drag…” He whined in his usual lazy tone.

Kurenai took me to her tailor with Shikamaru walking with us while we talked along the way about her pregnancy worries and updated him on his future students. When we got into the store where Kurenai’s tailor worked, I saw all these different kimonos and yukatas. The walls were lined with obis of different colors and embroideries, each one more extravagant than the last. I saw Kurenai walk ahead as I went looking at all the kimonos slowly, my fingers tracing along all of the silk fabric. They were all beautiful, the embroidery itself on each one, like a work of art but… This is all a little much for me. I prefer more simple patterns. If there’s embroidery, I want a solid color for it to be on. Especially if it's embroidery as lavish as this.

“Kessho!” I heard Kurenai call out to me. When I turned my head to her voice, I saw her speaking to an elderly woman towards the back of the shop. I started to make my way towards them both.

“So she’s the one who’s married to the soon to be hokage?” The elderly woman questioned with a brow raised as she gawked at me. This is weird… I don’t like this…. Fuck… “Yes… Well… Seems I have a lot of work to do if we are going to make you apt as the hokage’s wife.” The woman remarked. Did she just insult me…? “What were you looking for? What kind of embroidery, pattern, color scheme?”

“I like simpler things… But as for the embroidery… Could you do cherry blossoms?” I asked while gripping onto my bicep and I felt the blush rise to my cheeks. The elderly woman’s expression softened some as she started to grow curious. “They mean something special to the both of us…” I explained and the elderly woman shed a soft smile.

“Yes. Of course.” She nodded.

“Oh and I want this to be a surprise for him, so if you could please keep this discreet.” I pleaded and she nodded with a wider smile this time. “Also, I’m pregnant and I’m not sure how big I will be by the time the ceremony is held.” I warned.

“We will take measurements and I can readjust as needed. This is for an important ceremony after all.” She smiled as she grabbed at the measuring tape hanging around her neck. After pulling me into a private room, she started taking my measurements. “I’ll need you to keep me updated on certain measurements… You might need to stop by as we approach the date.” She warned.

“That’s fine with me.” I agreed as she finished up with the measurements. “What’s your name by the way?”

“My name is Wada Hana.” She bowed. “It will be an honor to make this furisode for you, Lady Hatake.” I blushed at being called by that. It’s going to take some getting used to… I walked out with Kurenai to see Shikamaru still waiting for us.

“Shikamaru, you really didn’t have to wait for us.” Kurenai commented with a slight whine.

“Nonsense. It’s no trouble at all.” Shikamaru kicked off from the wall he had been leaning on as he joined us while we walked back to the hospital. Upon reaching the hospital entry, they waved goodbye as Shikamaru walked Kurenai home. When I got back into the lab I worked on trying out different cytokines to trigger the Hashirama cells to go into regeneration mode and prepped to test with the flow cytometer for regeneration markers, but the first round of tests didn’t work. I might need to come up with a different strategy all together. I felt a hand on my shoulder and when I looked over, I saw Kakashi standing behind me.

“It’s late Kessho… We should start heading home.” He spoke softly while squeezing my shoulder.

“Alright… Let me wrap things up here. I need to clear out the samples and finish up my notes.” I explained while he nodded and walked out of the room. I worked on clearing out the samples and finishing up my notes, just as I told him. When I left the room, I saw him resting up against the wall in the hallway reading Icha Icha Violence.

“You ready?” He questioned while kicking off of the wall and putting his book in his back pouch.

“Yeah.” He placed his arm around my shoulders and we headed out making our way home. Kakahsi started talking about all the mounds of paperwork he had to fill out with Lady Tsunade, and how she was trying to orient him on the tasks that he’d be doing.

“Sounds… Riveting.” I teased.

“Yeah…” He groaned slightly. “This looks like it’s going to be a lot more paperwork than I anticipated.” I placed my hand onto his back and started to trace it along his back. “So what about you? Just more lab stuff?”

“Yeah. Oh and Kurenai’s tailor called me Lady Hatake today…” I blushed while thinking back. “That’s going to take some getting used to…” I trailed off.

“Tailor…” He murmured, so I looked up to see his brows furrowed. “Did? Did you leave the hospital?” He blurted.

Yeah, but-“

“Kessho! Why would you do that?!” He shouted while stopping dead in his tracks and turning his body to face me while removing his arm and folding his against his chest.

“Kakashi it’s fine… I’m ok.” I spoke softly and started to reach out but he took a step back.

“You didn’t know you were going to be!” He exclaimed.

“Kakashi it’s fine, I was with Kurenai-“

“Who’s also pregnant!”

“And Shikamaru. I wasn’t alone, there was someone with me the entire time.” I mentioned while trying to reason with him. He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose before he started to walk again. I started to walk with him, placing a hand onto his bicep, which he neither shrugged off, nor did he acknowledge.

“I’ll just have to start staying with you in the lab again.” He mumbled before he sighed and looked up to the night sky.

“Kakashi, you can’t… This isn’t healthy.”

“I can and I will, and you know exactly why.” He turned to me and his face was completely serious with a piercing gaze and harsh tone.

“Kakashi I do but, this isn’t healthy…” I trailed off before my eyes drifted to the floor and I started to fiddle with my ponytail.

“I’m not going to lose anyone else.” He commented under his breath.

“We won’t.” I remarked as I tried Kakashi reach out for his hand, but he moved it away. “I know you lost Obito, but you’re not the only one who lost people during that war Kakashi.” I scowled at him while clutching at my mother’s ring around my neck, that I now had thanks to Inoichi.

“Then why would you do that? Why would you leave the hospital?” He shouted as we approached our home and the wind blew a cool breeze.

“Kakashi, it was just me going to a tailor’s.” I pointed out while I walked through the gate. Kakashi placed his hands on my shoulders while standing behind me and spun me until I was facing the cherry blossom tree.

“That right there…” He whispered with his cheek pressed to mine as he pointed towards the tree. “That’s why it’s not  _ just _ going to a tailor’s.” His voice cracked and I turned to face him, placing my hands to cup his face while looking into his eyes.

“Ok. I won’t leave unless you’re with me. But please… You have things you need to do, so go do them.” I pleaded.

“Promise me.” He spoke before holding my wrist and kissing the inside of one of my palms.

“I promise.” I sighed lightly and he took both of my hands off of his face as he led me inside.


	3. I WASN'T READY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:  
> “Right.” I placed a hand onto his knee and another on his desk to pull myself up. “So, Naruto’s arm is nearly done?” He questioned.
> 
> “Yeah… I’m planning out the surgery. Well I was… Until you sprung this guy on me.” I pointed over my shoulder at Tenzo while leaning against the desk. He chuckled nervously as he rubbed the back of his neck.
> 
> “So, you’re not mad…?” His eyes were staring at mine with a little worry on his face. I sighed and placed a hand on his cheek.
> 
> “I’m not mad.” I acknowledged and I saw his shoulders loosen. “I’m not happy about it… But I’m not mad.” After giving him a half smile, I dropped my hand down and brought it to my own lap. “Kakashi, I understand your worries, but they’re unhealthy.”

“Sneaky-sensei! Woah! You’ve gotten fat!” Naruto ran into the lab yelling.

“Naruto I’m not fat! I’m pregnant!” I shouted at him while balling my hand into a fist. He took a step back and I took a few deep breaths before calming myself. “Just… Don’t call me fat.” I scowled.

“Sorry about that sneaky-sensei.” He chuckled to himself. “So what are we going to do today?”

“Well, I wanted to show you the arm and explain the procedure to you.” I started to walk over to the arm that we had managed to finally grow using the Hashirama cells at long last. The arm was stored inside a plexiglass box, with solution at the end, and veins and arteries connected to an artificial heart, while the nerves were connected to some random neurons we had managed to grow. “This is the arm. Right now it’s being sustained, but we’re hoping to attach it to you. The muscles are responsive, and everything seems to be working like a normal arm would.” His eyes were wide and his mouth dropped open.

“Woah!” He was all sorts of amused and in wonder at the sight before him.

“We are planning the surgery with Lady Tsunade, I’ll be there to assist. In order to attach the arm, we’re going to need to cut back at some of yours.” I explained and he tensed up.

“Cut back at my arm?!” He shouted while taking a step back.

“Yes. We need to reach for some good nerve endings and arteries/veins. In addition, by reopening the wound, it’ll help trigger the wound healing process and… Hopefully, it should make things easier for the arm to latch on to yours.” I explained.

“I don’t know…” He spoke wearily and I placed my hand on his shoulder.

“Trust me Naruto… I’ve been working on this non-stop for the past month. It’ll work. I’ll make it work. Besides… Don’t you want to get back out there?” I smiled wide at him and he nodded excitedly.

“Alright, I trust you sneaky-sensei!” Naruto beamed with a smile as Lady Tsunade walked into the lab.

“Ah Naruto, I see Kessho is showing you your new hand.” Lady Fifth smiled at the both of us. “How is it doing?”

“It’s great, Lady Fifth!” I answered while shoving my hands into my lab coat pockets. “There’s adequate blood flow, the oxygenation is perfect, and we have established nerve endings and confirmed motor function with electrical flow.” I prattled on before stopping to chuckle at Naruto’s lost face.

“That’s great to hear, I’ll take Naruto up to go see Gaara.” The hokage commented and I waved. Just before they both exited, Lady Tsunade glanced over her shoulder. “The paperwork is finished and all that’s left is the ceremony now. Please call me Tsuna from now on, and I’d like it if you could leave the formalities behind now.” She smiled and winked before heading out of the lab. Oh… I think she wants those girl talks I never let her have with me… Oh… I’ll worry about that later. So I guess Kakashi is officially Hokage then… Huh… I bit my lip and smiled before returning to work, planning out the surgery step by step.

After a few hours I started to sense someone present. I placed my pen on my lab notebook and closed my eyes. When I opened my mind I could hear the static from a mindblock. Since I can’t tell who it is that way… I got up and started to walk towards where the static was coming from, following it along. It was loudest along a wall lined with cabinets. After walking back and grabbing the stepstool, I placed it in front of the cabinets and climbed up. I pulled out a kunai and held it out. “Who’s there?” I demanded to see Tenzo reveal himself. “Tenzo?”

“Stop calling me that!” He shouted before banging his head against the ceiling and I put the kunai away. He rolled off the cabinets and landed with his feet on the ground and helped me off the steps.

“What are you doing here?” I grumbled.

“I told Kakashi you’d notice but…” He shrugged before letting out a deep sigh. “He’s assigned me to watch you… Unless he’s around that is.” I groaned loudly while he chuckled nervously and shrugged.

“Of course he did.” I muttered under my breath.

“I was supposed to stay hidden without you knowing, but when I read your files… I knew that wouldn’t work.”

“He gave you my files?!” I shouted before leaning into him. “Like the real ones???” I whispered and he nodded.

“Ok that’s it. We’re going.” I fumed while throwing my lab coat onto my lab bench and snapping off my nitrile gloves to toss them into the biohazard waste bin.

“Going where?” Tenzo questioned.

“To see my husband!” I shouted while stomping out of the lab with Tenzo following hesitantly, but closely behind me. I found myself jogging to his office which… Was probably for the best… It did help me cool down some. By the time I got up to his office, I had even worked up a bit of a sweat. When I walked in through the door, I found him buried behind mounds of paperwork. “Really?!” I shouted as Tenzo came in behind, closing the door after him.

“You weren’t supposed to let her know!” Kakashi exclaimed.

“Like he could hide from me!” I sneered. “Why’d you tell him? Why’d you show him?!”

“Kessho, I trust him with you.” He answered plainly and calmly now. “Look.” He sighed while pinching the bridge of his nose before lacing his fingers together and resting his chin on the back of them. “I know I’ve been a bit much lately… Well… Ever since I found out you were pregnant… I just want to know you’re safe. I trust Tenzo… Even with you. I know you want to be able to go about and do your thing and I just figured that this way… You could have your freedom, and my mind can be at ease.” He leaned back in his chair as he finished and I looked down at the floor and smiled.

“Just… Don’t tell anyone else… Too many people know my identity enough as it is.” I warned. “Speaking of which…” I walked over to the desk and crouched down.

“Lady Tsunade showed me the false panel, that’s how I showed Tenzo the files.” Kakashi placed a hand onto my back.

“Right.” I placed a hand onto his knee and another on his desk to pull myself up. “So, Naruto’s arm is nearly done?” He questioned.

“Yeah… I’m planning out the surgery. Well I was… Until you sprung this guy on me.” I pointed over my shoulder at Tenzo while leaning against the desk. He chuckled nervously as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“So, you’re not mad…?” His eyes were staring at mine with a little worry on his face. I sighed and placed a hand on his cheek.

“I’m not mad.” I acknowledged and I saw his shoulders loosen. “I’m not happy about it… But I’m not mad.” After giving him a half smile, I dropped my hand down and brought it to my own lap. “Kakashi, I understand your worries, but they’re unhealthy.”

“You’re one to talk about unhealthy emotional reactions.” He countered while folding his arms across his chest and a raised eyebrow.

“Kakashi a blind man can see it’s unhealthy! I don’t need to be a genius to see that!” I fumed while he laughed. “Why are you laughing?!”

“Lady Tsunade mentioned you might be a little more quick to anger now… I guess she was right.” He gave me his dumb closed eyed smile and I folded my arms under my chest and pouted. He placed his hand on my thigh and thumbed it. “I have some more paperwork to do, but I’ll be home tonight before dinner.” I looked over my shoulder to see the mountains of paperwork, to then look back at him with my eyebrow raised. “Late dinner.” He corrected with a nervous smile. “But I’ll be home.” I placed a kiss on his cheek while he squeezed my hand and I walked out of his office with Tenzo following along back to the hospital.

Once I finished planning out the surgery, I stretched my back over the chair. “Alright Tenzo. I think I’m done for the day.” I informed while closing my lab notebook and putting it away along with the other notebooks. I looked at Tenzo who was sitting in a chair nearby, with his arms across his chest, looking bored as all hell. “I’m really sorry you got stuck watching me.” I laughed nervously.

“Ah, it’s not a big deal.” He waved me off. “It’s honestly nice to know Kakashi trusts me so much.” He commented while getting up and walking towards the door. I took off my lab coat and followed him.

“Yeah but even still, if I got assigned a mission like this, I’d dread it.” I contemplated while he chuckled and we left the hospital.

“It would’ve been a lot more boring had you not found out.” He pointed out as we walked down the streets that were just starting to turn into the late night scene.

“I suppose that’s true. Now that you do know, we might as well make the most of it then.” I smiled and bumped up against his arm while shoving my hands into my pockets. He smiled, but it faded quickly. “Aw come on Tenzo, you can loosen up, it’s not like this is a serious mission.” I teased and his brows furrowed.

“This is a serious mission though. I’m supposed to be protecting the hokage’s pregnant wife.” He stated in a stern tone while I rolled my eyes. I started to throw a punch with my left hand, which he blocked, to then push against his back with my right hand while kicking out his foot. Once he was falling forward and losing his footing my right hand traced down his arm to pin it behind his back as I straddled him.

“WHAT THE HELL?!” He yelled while struggling against my grip.

“You’re a shit bodyguard.” I commented.

“I WASN’T READY!” He fumed while I got up off of him.

“Shouldn’t you always be ready?” I countered while I helped him up. He was piiiiissed. “Relax Tenzo, you’re too much of a good boy.” I teased while walking off and watching him from over my shoulder. There was a vein that was pulsing on his temple and his hands were balled in fists.

“I’m Yamato, not Tenzo!” He shouted before taking a moment to calm himself down.

“Seriously Yamato, there’s no reason we can’t have fun while you watch over me. You can multitask, can’t you?” I joked as he caught up to me, muttering something underneath his breath that I couldn’t quite make out.

“Of course I can… Maybe… You’re right…” He admitted. “He did technically say that I was to watch you, and help you if you needed it… Helping someone is a pretty vague term… Hmmm…” His big dark eyes started to look up as he started to try and do mental gymnastics on how he could obey the mission while also finally having some fun. We started to turn on to our street when he finally spoke again, “Yeah… Ok. Maybe this won’t be so bad after all!” He smiled.

“So are you supposed to stay with me until he comes home?” I questioned with my head tilted to the side and he shrugged.

“He said I’m to watch you unless he’s present. So I suppose so.” He nodded to himself.

“Well then, you’re more than welcome to stay for dinner.” I offered.

“Oh, no that’s ok.” He shook his head and started to smile nervously. 

“I insist.” I mentioned and he shook his head… Hmm… Maybe if… “I insist as Lady Hatake.” I watched his body tense up at the words I just spoke and he started to rub the back of his neck and I chuckled. I can’t believe it worked, he really is too much of a good boy.

“Alright.” He nodded as we walked into my home. “Feels a lot bigger now that there’s not people everywhere.” We both chuckled as I made my way to the kitchen. “I guess you’ll be needing that house expansion sooner rather than later then.” He commented as I pulled out the fish.

“Yeah… It would appear so.” I smiled while putting the fish on the counter to then place a hand on my lower stomach. “What were you thinking exactly?” I questioned while starting up some nitsuke.

“Well, I think it would make the most sense to just add a second floor, and keep the same layout style.” He started to walk over towards the far window that looked out to the cherry blossom tree. “We could put the stairs here.” He commented and I dropped the knife onto the cutting board.

“Would the stairs get in the way of the window?” I asked quickly.

“Yeah, we would need to take the window out.” He acknowledged while looking at the architecture.

“Then no. That won’t work.” I told him sternly. His head snapped to me and studied me close which I watched in my periphery as I focused on seasoning the fish.

“Why not?” He questioned while approaching me slowly.

“That window needs to stay where it is. Anything else is fine, but that window… It stays.” I remarked while pointing with the knife. He held his hands up and nodded before turning around and looking around again.

“Ok then.” He went quiet while I finished the nitsuke and pulled out some veggies to prep. “You don’t have an attachment to the placement of the bookcase, do you?” He teased.

“Was that a joke, Tenzo?” I remarked with a flat tone.

“Uh…” His eyes grew wide.

“I wasn’t sure you had that ability.” I teased with a smile and he laughed nervously before hiding his face by turning back to the wall. “I do have some things hidden between some of the wooden planks and the subflooring though, so let me know if I need to move things.”

“Alright, shouldn’t be a problem. Do you have some paper I can use to sketch some?” He approached the counter opposite to me, which I heard by his footsteps as I was turned to the stove.

“Over by Kakashi’s desk.” I commented. “Top drawer on the right, everything you need should be there.”

“You don’t have a desk?” He questioned.

“I’m fine to work anywhere.” I shrugged. “I never really had a place to call home until I was ‘retired’ from the Anbu, so it never mattered where I worked/did research/wrote mission reports. Kakashi on the other hand…”

“He needs a specific space for it.” Tenzo finished my sentence for me as I turned over to the counter facing the rest of the house. We both chuckled while I watched Tenzo grab the paper and place it on the desk.

“So he’s always been like that then?” I wondered aloud while walking over to watch Tenzo sketching.

“As long as I’ve known him. My guess is his life was so chaotic with everything else, he simply tried to make order where he could…” Tenzo was a lot wiser than I was… He started by sketching the current layout of the house.

“If it’s not too much trouble, could we add a bathroom upstairs?” I more or less pleaded.

“Of course, I was planning to anyway. I also was going to add an office for you and Kakashi, though I suppose from what you mentioned, he’ll get more use out of it.” He started to draw a long hallway with three rooms and a bathroom upstairs. “I figured I’d stick with the simple quaint architecture that there already is here. Anything else would just look… Out of place.” He explained. “I’ll also make sure you can hide things upstairs in the floor too. Do you want an attic?”

“Nah. I’d rather have the tall ceilings. They’re much nicer.” I told him while admiring those very ceilings.

“Good choice. I can make sure the ceilings on the first floor are a bit higher than normal too, but that would mean I need to make the steps narrower… What do you prefer?” He asked while looking at me from over his shoulder.

“Ummm… I say narrower steps.” I decided.

“Is Kakashi going to oppose any of this?” He questioned wearily as I walked back to the kitchen.

“I doubt it. He’s tall, so I think he’d appreciate having the extra room. He would agree with the window thing, and I think he’d just be excited to have his own office. We can show him though, make sure he approves.” I suggested while I started plating the food.

“Yeah I just know he’s very…”

“Particular. Yeah I know.” We both chuckled as we heard the door open and close.

“What am I particular about now?” Kakashi teased while raising his eyebrow as he walked in.

“What are you not particular about?” I retorted as he kissed my cheek.

“It smells nice.” He whispered before grabbing a few plates to bring over to the dining table. “Why is Tenzo at my desk?” He asked while placing the plates on the dining table.

“He’s sketching out the second floor of our house.” I explained while bringing over the last few dishes, Kakashi’s head was tilted to the side with a brow raised. “You know… For our children? He had offered to expand the house for us.” His eyes widened as he froze while I went to go get our chopsticks.

“I… I’ve been so busy I hadn’t even…” I rushed over to him and placed my hand on his bicep.

“It’s ok… I understand… I’ve got it covered.” I smiled at him and he relaxed before sitting down. Tenzo sat down and joined us while bringing over the sketch to show to Kakashi.

“I know how you always need a specific space to work, so I designed one of those rooms to be your office.” Tenzo commented, before looking at me and holding back a snicker. I looked back at Kakashi while holding back a giggle and Kakashi was looking between us both.

“I’m going to regret pairing you two up, aren’t I?” Kakashi groaned before starting to dig in.

“Well, you wanted me to be watched, you really thought I wouldn’t use my wit and charms to my advantage?” I leaned over to him and nudged him with a smile. Kakashi chuckled and shook his head.

“As long as you’re safe.” He smiled.

“HEY! She did not use  _ wit _ and  _ charms _ with me! You were just vague with mission details!” Tenzo insisted while flustered while Kakashi and I giggled. We enjoyed the rest of dinner while making small talk between each other and discussing the housing plans. During dinner, I used my free hand to place along Kakashi’s thigh, underneath the table. I kept creeping up, slowly along until towards the end of the dinner, Kakashi’s eyes met mine and my hand reached his length through his pants.

“Tenzo!” He blurted out, almost with a growl.

“Y-yes?” I heard Tenzo respond but I was too busy looking at those lips of Kakashi’s that I wanted to kiss so much.

“You’re dismissed.” He demanded. “Be here at 7-“

“8.” I interjected and I saw those lips I was staring at turn up into a smirk.

“Be here at 8 tomorrow morning.” He ordered as I bit my lower lip and traced my fingers along his length underneath the table while I heard Tenzo scramble to get up.

“O-ok. Bye!” I heard the door open and close, almost like a signal to send Kakashi’s lips slamming into mine as his fingers went into my hair and I retreated my hand to his thigh to put weight on it as I leaned into him. The kiss was effervescent, but passionate as we both were already breathy when it parted. I came around the table to him and straddled him, having my lips find their way to his again. One of his hands went back to my hair while the other groped one of my bottom cheeks and I parted the kiss to tilt my head back as I moaned. His lips soon found my neck, and I found myself hooking my hand around the back of his neck so I didn't fall over from the lightheadedness that was coursing through me. I ground into him as he started to suck down and I could feel him hardening below. He lowered his other hand and placed both around my thighs to start to lift me up.

“No.” I ordered breathily. His lips left my skin and his forehead pressed against mine, watching me in confusion. “Right here… Lord Sixth.” I teased as a devious grin grew onto his face and he swept the dishes aside and laid me on the table. His body towered over mine as he started to strip his upper body from the clothes that confined it while I did the same. He bent down, resting one forearm next to my face and brushed my hair back with his free hand with his lips pressed against my cheek.

“Address me again… Tell me what you want.” He whispered.

“I want… The Sixth Hokage…” I bit my lip and smiled while he watched my lips as I spoke. “To fuck me right here on this table.” He pulled me in for a quick kiss before retreating back to help me remove my pants and underwear. His hands ran up my thighs as I propped myself up on my elbows to watch him. He watched my face closely as he spread my lower lips with his two thumbs while the rest of his hands gripped onto my inner thighs, pushing them apart and open. My breaths grew heavy in anticipation as I felt the cold air against my warmth. His tongue traced up from my entrance to my clit as he stared at me while I bit the corner of my bottom lip before letting out a whimper. “Please Lord Sixth…” I whined and his lustful eyes closed as he started sucking on that sensitive bundle of nerves. I started moaning loudly while running my fingers into his hair. His tongue started to flick across my clit while he kept sucking as he slid a finger into my entrance. “Lord… Sixth…” I shouted between moans, with that he inserted in another finger and started thrusting while curling upwards, hitting that spot of mine. My eyes rolled to the back of my head, and it felt like too much effort to lift my head up to keep watching him, so I laid back down against the table.

The heat started to build up and I could feel my muscles start to tense up as I closed my eyes, only to have him suddenly pull away completely. I whined at the sudden lack of touch just as I was about to climax, but when I opened my eyes, I saw him kneeling before me readying himself. He slowly slid into me as I the tension that had built remained and his calloused finger went to rubbing my clit. After another thrust or two I felt my walls tighten down around him. “Fuuuuuck…” He groaned while he reached out to hold my hand as I rode out my climax. He crouched over me while hooking my leg over his shoulder as his face made his way to mine. His hand went into my hair to reach back and cradle my head while the other gripped at my hip. His lips pressed against mine before my mouth opened and his tongue searched along while he started up a rough, slow pace.

My hands traced into his hair while my other leg wrapped around his hip as he thrust into me. When he pulled away I stared into both of those eyes of his with my mouth open, allowing all those loud moans to escape. “Harder… Lord Sixth.” I pleaded between thrusts. At those words, he started to pull nearly completely out before slamming back into me again, maintaining a slow but steady pace. I latched onto his neck as he quickened the pace, while he started grunting into my ear. His pace soon became dizzying as I moved along down his shoulder, squeezing down on him as he went along. His groans grew louder as we felt our muscles tense up and I squeezed my leg’s grip around him. His pace grew quicker, but erratic and I rested my head onto the table as I grew dizzy. “Hokage…” I moaned as I clawed at his back. He rested his body against mine as we both reached and he gave his final few thrusts. We both let out dreamy chuckles as he pulled out to lay onto the table beside me.

“This is a sturdy table.” He joked as he smacked the table with one hand and interlaced his fingers with mine using his other hand. I laughed and he pulled our hands up to his lips and kissed the back of my palm. “So you really think you’re going to be up for another round tomorrow morning?” He wondered.

“I guess Lady Tsunade didn’t tell you everything about pregnancy hormones.” I chuckled to myself as he turned his face to me. When I faced him his eyebrow was raised. “During now, up until the third trimester…” I placed my hand onto his cheek and gave him a devious grin. “I’ll be wanting to have a lot more sex.” He chuckled and pressed his smiling lips to mine.

“I won’t complain.” He hummed. “I’m sorry about your dishes.” He mentioned with a frown.

“That’s not a problem, we can always get new ones.” I chuckled while thumbing his cheek. His free hand went to my wrist as he pulled to kiss my palm.

“Kessho, I know I’m hokage now… But…” He placed his hand on my lower stomach. “Kids are going to cost a lot, we can’t afford to be reckless and wasteful like we just were…” He murmured with a solemn look on his face. I simply smiled and kissed his forehead before getting up slowly. I put on my underwear and grabbed Kakashi’s sweatshirt to put on. He propped himself up onto his elbow and watched me with his brow raised and head tilted to the side.

“Come on, put on some underwear at least and follow me.” I instructed. He put on his underwear as I started to make my way into the bedroom. I could see him jumping, putting on his pants while trying to follow me as I went into the closet. He hesitated at the doorway and I waved him to come in, and after another moment of hesitation he followed me to the back of the closet. I spread apart some of the kimonos that were hanging along the closet and crouched in front of a safe. After summoning the key I opened up the safe to reveal… Well… All the money I had gathered from years of Anbu missions, most S ranked.

“How…” He mumbled behind me.

“All those S-Ranked missions… Most of the time while I was on them I was living in the wilderness or wherever the mission took place. I never really had anything to spend money on before moving here…” I explained. “There’s also a few more piles hidden around underneath the floorboards.” I chuckled nervously before closing the safe again. He stood up behind me and helped me up before wrapping his arms around me from behind, resting his hands on my lower stomach. “Nothing to worry about. You just focus on being a good hokage.” I rested my head back on his chest while placing my hands on his. After a moment of holding each other like that, we walked back into the dining area to clean up the plates. A few were intact, some chipped, and a couple were broken. One was broken into five pieces, and I decided to set it aside.

“Are you going to glue it back together or something?” He joked.

“Yeah… I think I will.” I smiled while finishing cleaning up as he shrugged and carried the other dishes to the sink. “I’ll do those in the morning, after you leave. Let’s go to bed.” I told him while placing the pieces of the broken dish onto the counter and pulling him back into the bedroom.


	4. 64

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:  
> “So I’m planning on trying to pardon Sasuke…” He mentioned under his breath. Did he think I wouldn’t approve?
> 
> “Good. You’re going to get pushback though.” I spoke before taking the last bite of the cake.
> 
> “Yeah…” He sighed heavily. “I’m not looking forward to that.” I put the plate aside and rested my head onto his lap where he brushed at my hair.
> 
> “I’m happy to speak on his behalf.” I mentioned and he smiled.
> 
> “That’d be helpful, thank you.” He bent over to kiss my forehead.
> 
> “I also saw him with Itachi, they worked together to stop Kabuto during the war, not just Kaguya, so there’s plenty he’s done to help.” I reassured while staring at this man’s beautiful face that only I got to see.

“Where are you taking me? And shouldn’t you be off learning hokage things from Lady Tsunade?” I grumbled as I was being pushed into what smells like forest.

“I took the day off. It’s your birthday!” He chimed as he guided me with his hands on my shoulders.

“But I’m supposed to be checking on Naruto’s arm today!” I whined.

“Lady Tsunade said she would take care of it.”

“And there’s the new bathtub that’s coming in for the upstairs bathroom, along with the-“

“Tenzo will be there for all of that. He designed it, he knows what things need to be where.” Kakashi insisted while massaging my shoulders as we went along. Oh… That feels really nice.

“I’m supposed to meet up with Ino-“

“I spoke with her and she was appalled you didn’t mention it was your birthday that day.” He chuckled while I groaned. “Yeah, she’s got something planned for you too now.” I could hear a waterfall approaching as we approached our spot. Of course this is where he would bring me.

“We haven’t been here since…”

“Since we got married.” He whispered in my ear as we stopped.

“It feels so long ago…” I whispered myself as I felt his hands leave my shoulders.

“You did live… How many years in that infinite Tsukuyomi?” He questioned as I heard him walk away and shuffle things around.

“64.” I stated while I started to try to take the blindfold off.

“Not yet!” He shouted and I froze. “Just give me another minute.” I heard some clothes ruffling around and then felt the blindfold being taken off. His hand held mine and when I opened my eyes I saw him kissing the back of my palm. When he stood to the side for me to take in the view, I could see rose petals swirling in the pond, and a nice picnic lunch laid out with all my favorites: tonkatsu, gyoza, and for dessert a honey kasutera. There were candles and some foxgloves, Ino must’ve told him they’re my favorite… “I hope it’s all alright.” When I turned to him he was rubbing the back of his neck. He had changed into some pants with a black button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up just below his elbows with the Hatake clan symbol on the collar. He ran his fingers through his hair, that’s when I realized he was waiting for my response.

“It’s wonderful.” I pulled on his hand to lower him and kiss his cheek. He guided me down to where we had our lunch with him telling me about all of the things Lady Tsunade has been teaching him about the job. This is so nice… I haven’t spent time with him lately. Most of the time I’m sleeping by the time he comes home… And it’s only going to get worse from here. It’s been nice renovating with Yamato, getting to know him and all, but… I miss Kakashi…

“Anyone there?” He asked while waving his hand in front of my face. I blinked a few times to come back to see his closed eyed smile. “There she is…”

“Sorry…” I chuckled nervously as I fiddled with my hair.

“What were you thinking about?” He asked with his head tilted to the side. I bit my bottom lip and smiled.

“Just how nice this is.” I answered dreamily. He leaned back on his palm while his forearm hung over his knee. “Promise me something?” He tilted his head to the side in wait with his lips slightly parted. “We always have a meal together. Everyday. Even if it’s at your office.” He sighed and hung his head before looking up at the tree above us and groaning.

“Honestly I’m not even sure I should be doing this anymore.” He admitted before meeting my gaze. I took his hand that wasn’t propping him up and held it in mine.

“What makes you say that?” I questioned quietly as he frowned. He took his hand back to run it through his hair before sitting up cross legged in front of me. His eyes fell to his lap as he played with the end of his shirt.

“What if someone attacked the village?" I could barely see his brows furrow as his hair drooped and covered his face. “I don’t have the sharingan anymore… How am I supposed to protect everyone?” I placed my hand onto his bicep and rubbed along it.

“Hey…” I spoke softly as he glanced up at me. “You are so much more than just your sharingan.” I smiled as he met my eyes while his brows unfurrowed. “You’re a great at analyzing your opponents, and you always make the most of everything in your arsenal.” He furrowed his brow again as he looked down, going into thought. “You don’t need to have the sharingan to use all of the jutsu you learned from it, you still have all of those in your arsenal.” He sighed before looking up at me.

“I can’t even properly use the Chidori anymore.” He whined as my hand fell from his bicep to his fingers.

“Make a new jutsu then.” I shrugged and he looked at me as if I was crazy. “Why not? Just base it off of the Chidori and alter it to your needs.” He chuckled while he shook his head to then take the hand of his I was holding and lift it to press his lips gently against the back of my palm.

“I’ll have to do that if I ever have the time.” He chuckled again as he pulled on my hand to pull me in for a kiss. Our lips gently grazed each other as he interlaced his fingers with mine. I pulled away quickly.

“You never told me you promised.” I looked into his eyes searching for the answer that he hadn’t given me.

“I promise, although it might involve you coming to the office a lot…” He warned as I felt myself relax.

“That's ok. And the kids are eating with us too. It’s a family meal.” I clarified as he smiled.

“Even better.” He gave me a toothy closed eyed smile and I nearly melted right there. His hand let go of mine as he pulled out a candle to put onto the cake. He lit the candle and blocked the flame from the wind with his hand. “Make a wish.” He encouraged with a smile.

“What could I even wish for?” I teased while he rolled his eyes. I blew out the candle without making a wish and I ate the piece of cake while Kakashi watched… Which was awkward so I turned around to have him laugh at me.

“So I’m planning on trying to pardon Sasuke…” He mentioned under his breath. Did he think I wouldn’t approve?

“Good. You’re going to get pushback though.” I spoke before taking the last bite of the cake.

“Yeah…” He sighed heavily. “I’m not looking forward to that.” I put the plate aside and rested my head onto his lap where he brushed at my hair.

“I’m happy to speak on his behalf.” I mentioned and he smiled.

“That’d be helpful, thank you.” He bent over to kiss my forehead.

“I also saw him with Itachi, they worked together to stop Kabuto during the war, not just Kaguya, so there’s plenty he’s done to help.” I reassured while staring at this man’s beautiful face that only I got to see.

“That’ll be really helpful actually.” He raised his eyebrows before he looked up to the pond. “So you’re getting along well with Tenzo, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.” I grinned a nice toothy grin as he looked back down to me. “He’s been really helpful with renovations too. And… It’s nice to have someone to talk to.” I admitted while thinking about how much I missed Asuma. I should visit him soon…

“You can talk to me.” He spoke softly, bringing me out of my thoughts. He thumbed away at a tear that was about to fall.

“I know, but sometimes it’s nice to talk to someone other than you.” I countered and he smiled.

“You mean we can’t just be two hermits, alone forever?” He joked.

“Not when I’m pregnant!” I laughed and he joined in.

“Well I’m glad you two are getting along.” He chimed as he thumbed my cheek. “What do you say we go home?” He asked and I held onto his wrist.

“Actually… Can we just stay out here for a while?” I pleaded and he smiled down at me.

“Of course…”


	5. A heads up would’ve been nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:  
> “Nightmare?” He questioned with a whisper and I nodded against his chest while watching the sunrise again. “Which one?”
> 
> “Infinite Tsukuyomi.” I shuddered at the thought of how warped the nightmare was, where I had to fight against Naruto and Kakashi. His hand was rubbing my arm while he sipped on his tea.
> 
> “It’s been a while since we’ve watched the sunrise.” He whispered.
> 
> “Last time was at your apartment.” I mentioned while using my free hand to feel at the long x shaped scar along his chest, just lightly tracing it with my fingertips. His chest rumbled beneath my fingers as he let out a hum in acknowledgement. I started to feel a fluttering feeling in my stomach… That’s weird… I placed my hand on my stomach and I could feel the slightest movement pushing against my hand. I quickly grabbed Kakashi’s hand, not caring that his mug spilt the hot tea onto the roof, melting away the snow, or that the mug fell to the ground and cracked, because I quickly placed it onto my stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for the past two main stories, the chapter lengths have been pretty consistent... That doesn't seem like it's going to happen for this main part of the story.

I held on tightly to the warm mug of tea as I brushed the snow off of a part of the roof with my foot so I could sit down. After sitting down, I held onto the mug with one hand while I used the other to readjust the blanket to wrap myself and make sure my feet were sufficiently covered. The sun was just starting to rise as I tried my best to shake off the nightmare that woke me up. The sound of the front door snapped me away from the shades of orange that were creeping up on the night sky above. After another moment I saw Kakashi jump up onto the roof with his own mug of tea. Good, he’s not here to scold me. He walked to my side and I opened up the blanket to have him join me. He didn’t even bother putting a shirt on… The weirdo is like a heater. A nice warm heater who placed one arm around me, so I snuggled up to him.

“Nightmare?” He questioned with a whisper and I nodded against his chest while watching the sunrise again. “Which one?”

“Infinite Tsukuyomi.” I shuddered at the thought of how warped the nightmare was, where I had to fight against Naruto and Kakashi. His hand was rubbing my arm while he sipped on his tea.

“It’s been a while since we’ve watched the sunrise.” He whispered.

“Last time was at your apartment.” I mentioned while using my free hand to feel at the long x shaped scar along his chest, just lightly tracing it with my fingertips. His chest rumbled beneath my fingers as he let out a hum in acknowledgement. I started to feel a fluttering feeling in my stomach… That’s weird… I placed my hand on my stomach and I could feel the slightest movement pushing against my hand. I quickly grabbed Kakashi’s hand, not caring that his mug spilt the hot tea onto the roof, melting away the snow, or that the mug fell to the ground and cracked, because I quickly placed it onto my stomach.

“Kessho what-“ He stopped when I felt another flutter in my stomach and I studied his face, wanting to take in this moment. His eyes grew wide as they shot down to my stomach and his mouth was open in a grin. He got up quickly and nearly slid off the roof, so he quickly lined his feet and legs with chakra as he knelt down in front of me. Both hands went to my stomach and his head was level with my stomach while the blanket draped on either side of his head. “That was-“

“Yes.” I beamed with a wide grin on my face. Another flutter ran across my stomach and Kakashi’s eyes followed where I felt it. He let out a happy laugh as I brushed the hair away from his face.

“We need to get some cribs…” He murmured while looking up at me, his eyes staring into mine.

“I know I just… I wanted to do some of that with you.” I admitted sheepishly, and I could feel blush creeping onto my cheeks while I watched the sun start to peek out from behind the trees. “So I had been putting it off in hopes that I might be able to whisk you away for an hour or two or something.” I explained while he started to make his way back, sitting next to me and putting his arm back around me to pull me against his chest.

“It’s not going to get easier…” He muttered under his breath while his head hung. I felt his lips on the top of my head before I finished off my tea. I felt him jerk suddenly and when I turned to him, his lips were curved up in a smile. “I have an idea.” I let out a happy hum as I waited for him to continue. “Why don’t you take my camera, and take some photos of the things you were thinking of getting, and then bring me the photos and we can go over them during my lunch sometime?” He smiled while placing a hand on my cheek and thumbing it. I smiled at his brilliance before nuzzling into him again.

“I can do that.” I placed a sweet kiss on his chest.

“I also need you to do me a favor.” I heard him say as I watched the sun fully come out from behind the trees now. “I need you to pick up the haori from the tailor today and bring it to me before the ceremony.”

“Alright, that’s not a problem.” I ran my hand up and down the arm he had around me.

“Should she be up there?” I heard Tenzo call out from a distance.

“Shut up Tenzo!” I yelled as Kakashi tensed up beneath me.

“He’s right.” Kakashi muttered before I sensed him lining his feet with chakra and carefully picking me up before jumping down with me in his arms. “What are you doing here so early Tenzo? I don’t leave for another hour at least.” He remarked while facing away from Tenzo.

“I asked him here. I had some things that I needed to pick up myself today.” I answered for Tenzo who smiled and nodded in acknowledgement. “Can you grab that broken mug please?” I asked with Kakashi walking towards the house entrance and me looking over his arm to watch as Tenzo picked it up. “Thanks!” Kakashi placed me onto the porch where I walked inside with Kakashi and Tenzo following closely behind. After grabbing the mug and placing it on the counter alongside the plate that had been broken and glued together with the cracks painted gold, I headed into the bedroom to change.

“Are you going to glue that one to?” I heard Kakashi question as he came into the room with his free hand leaving his face. “I wish you would’ve told me Tenzo was coming…” He muttered under his breath.

“I do plan on gluing it, and I want to keep it for the twins.” I mentioned while rubbing my now bare stomach only to shudder at the coldness in the room. “Also, I’m sorry for not telling you, I honestly forgot.” I informed him while slipping on a black sweater dress and some black leggings with a nice fuzzy lining on the inside. “I’m sorry Tenzo got to see your beautiful face.” I teased while turning around to see him sliding down the mask attached to the shirt he was now wearing. He approached me and wrapped his hands around the small of my back and pressed his foreheads to mine.

“My beautiful face is only for you…” He smiled before giving me a quick peck before raising his mask again. I walked back out to the living room to see Tenzo sitting on the couch in wait. Tenzo got up and pointed back to the doorway of the bedroom. When I turned around I saw Kakashi leaning in the doorway on his side with his ankles crossed and his hands in his pockets. “Please don’t forget the haori and don’t be late.”

“Being late is your thing, not mine.” I told him while folding my arms underneath my chest. He chuckled as he stood up straight and headed over to me to place a kiss onto my forehead. I undid my arms and placed them on either side of his hips while his hands cupped my face.

“I suppose so.” He smiled before pulling away. “Tenzo.” He nodded at Tenzo before folding his arms across his chest. “I’ll see you both soon.” I stepped away to put on my boots and red peacoat. I walked out with Tenzo and shoved my hands into my pockets to keep them warm.

“We should pick up the haori first, then go to breakfast.” I suggested.

“Craving those fluffy pancakes again?” Tenzo chuckled as he walked alongside.

“Yeah… They’re so good.” I confessed while we started to get more into town. “I’m excited to have him finally see it.” I grinned at the thought.

“The furisode?” He questioned to confirm.

“Yeah… I really hope he likes it.” I admitted while I fiddled, spinning my wedding ring while my hand remained in my peacoat pocket. “Oh, in the next few days, I’ll need to go with you to look at cribs and some other baby things.”

“I thought you wanted to wait for Kakashi to go with you.” He questioned with an eyebrow raised and an intrigued look in his eye.

“Yeah well…” I looked down to the dirt path we were on and kicked at a rock as we walked along. “He’s going to be busy, so Kakashi came up with the idea to have me take photos and we can pick from his office.” I finished by turning to him with a half smile.

“I know this is going to be hard, and lonely at times.” Tenzo started, trying to console me.

“It’s not even that.” I shrugged. “You’ve seen the missions I’ve done. We’re used to being apart when it’s what’s needed to be done.” I furrowed my brows while I spoke, stopping in front of tailor’s. “It’s that I’m bored out of my fucking mind!” I exclaimed while folding my arms underneath my chest. “I’ve been stuck here… Decorating of all things… You’ve read my files, you know I’m not made for this…” I trailed off with my head hanging only to hear Tenzo start chuckling.

“Well I can agree, this is not what you were made for, but you’re adapting to it fairly well.” Tenzo acknowledged. “You and I both know there’s no way you’re going to be put on a mission any time soon.” He mentioned with a more serious tone and a straight face; I couldn’t help but let out a groan before stepping into the tailors.

“I know, but I need one Yamato.” I whined before walking up to the young woman behind the register. “I’m here to pick up the haori for the ceremony.” I remarked and the young lady raised her eyebrow.

“And you are?” She questioned sounding smug.

“Lady Hatake.” I answered bitterly while holding out my hand and emphasizing the ring. “Now can you give me the haori, or not?” I questioned while a surprised look donned her face.

“Oh! I’m terribly sorry! I had no idea he was married.” She responded while flustered and her cheeks growing a little rosy.

“His ring didn’t give it away?” I wondered with my brows raised.

“I-I didn’t… Let me go get that haori for you.” She stammered before scrambling and disappearing behind a door.

“You don’t think he takes it off… Do you?” I started spinning my ring around my finger while staring at the store top counter. I heard Tenzo chuckle and when I snapped to see him, he was shaking his head.

“Never. I think she was just seeing what she wanted to see.” He smiled before leaning close to me. “He adores you. Don’t ever forget that.” Tenzo whispered and a quick wave of relief washed over me. These damn hormones have me feeling all sorts of ways. The young woman who was certainly pretty with her long, black, braided, hair and icy blue eyes and her rosy lips that were naturally so and didn’t have an ounce of makeup on her face, came out with the haori. I grabbed onto it and it was… Wait… Why is there a patch?

“The tailor says to bring it by after the ceremony to finish it.” The young woman answered the question I never asked. I nodded and turned around to head out while trying to hold it all. Why on earth is it so big? I mean it wasn’t just long, I know he’s tall, but Kakashi is quite the lanky man… This is far too wide for him, surely they knew that…?

“Let me carry it.” Tenzo insisted while taking the haori from me. “It was dragging.” He answered based on the confused look on my face. I shrugged as we walked out of the store and went to a little breakfast café where I had tea and the super fluffy souffle pancakes with mounds of syrup. I should probably have Lady Tsunade check my blood sugar… Tenzo had some tea with harusame accompanied by a walnut miso sauce and we both planned out when he would accompany me to the shops to take photos of baby items to pick out. Afterwards we made our way out to the tailor I had been working with. When we arrived the elderly Hana greeted me at the door, with her grey short bob framing her face.

“Alright, alright, come along now.” She ordered, quickly ushering me into the shop. “We have no time to waste, I need to leave you with plenty of time to do your makeup before the ceremony.” She gently pushed with her hand at the small of my back, pushing me into the back with her into the changing room and slamming the door in poor Tenzo’s face. “Sorry young man but we can’t have you seeing her undress now can we?!” She called out in a less than apologetic fashion. I quickly pulled off the sweaterdress and took off my boots. After I took off the leggings, with a bit of struggling, she helped me put on the juban before sliding on the black furisode. The furisode had come together beautifully… She kept the background the black solid color, with bright pink cherry blossom branches creeping up from the bottom and the Hatake clan symbol embroidered with gold on the upper back. After I tied it shut with the koshihimo, she brought out the red soft obi that was embroidered with a gold pattern that mimicked the Hatake clan symbol. As she tied the obi in the back I put my hair up into a bun at the back of my head and she placed in one of the cherry blossom kanzashis she helped me find into the bun and the other at the side of my head where petals mimicked falling from it ran along my face. She grabbed onto my biceps and turned me to the mirror. I felt strange wearing it… I looked like someone I didn’t quite recognize… Maybe a better version of myself? Maybe Inoshin? Whoever this person was… They were opulent and extremely alluring. They surely fit the title of the hokage’s wife, but not the title of the ninja that does not exist… “What’s wrong dear? You don’t like it?” She questioned while frowning.

“No, it’s not that… It’s just… Unfamiliar to see myself like this.” I answered while trying to choose each word carefully.

“Well, you’ve never been the hokage’s wife before. Or is there something you haven’t told me?” She joked before laughing to herself while I chuckled nervously. Maybe not hokage but very briefly for a mission to a daimyo once. It felt strange then too. Still I maintained my face hidden from that as she continued. “You’re going through a lot of changes right now, things are bound to be unfamiliar to you.”

“Such wise words…” I murmured while she took a few measurements to make sure everything was exactly where it needed to be.

“Yes well, if you want to hear more of the ramblings of an old granny, you’re more than welcome to come visit, no need to buy anything.” I raised my eyebrows at her words. “I’ve taken a liking to you, you know. You listen very closely, taking in everything. Not many young people do that you know, at least not many I’ve seen nowadays. Plus I know you don’t have any elders to guide you…” She trailed off while continuing to fiddle with the fabric, tugging at it. “So don’t hesitate to stop by and visit.” She sounded so lonely… I’ll have to try and make an effort. “There.” She said before readjusting the obi one last time. “It’s perfect.”

“Thank you so much for this.” I smiled.

“Don’t thank me, just be sure to tell people who made it when they ask, because they’re going to ask.” She laughed before helping me take it all off. Once I took it off we said our goodbyes and I walked with Tenzo back home. There I redressed myself all over again, and did my makeup. The eye makeup I kept simple, with simply lining my lids. My lip I painted the same color as the bright pink cherry blossoms that adorned my furisode and my hair. I painted that same color in blush onto my cheeks lightly, blending it in some so it looks natural. When I decided everything was enough, I got up and went into the closet. Hidden behind a few dresses I reached over for a shoe box, and opened it to verify the contents. Once I saw that it’s exactly what I needed, I closed the box and brought it out with me along with the black clutch. I put in a kunai (a good kunoichi is never unprepared), the lipstick, and some money. I walked out with the clutch and my box to see Tenzo waiting, pacing the living room.

“We’re going to be late!” Tenzo fumed.

“Relax Tenzo. I have a way to get us there instantly.” I told him while I put my hand on his shoulder. Tenzo grabbed onto the haori and just as he was about to step towards the door I used the flying raijin to teleport us to Kakashi, who was sitting in his chair in the office at the hokage tower. Tenzo blinked a few times while I giggled as he placed himself. He quickly put the haori on the desk before Kakashi, who had just now looked up from his paperwork, to see Tenzo’s backing away and wide eyes.

“A heads up would’ve been nice!” He shouted before leaving the office and closing the door behind him while Kakashi snickered. I reached over to hold Kakashi’s wrist and he turned to me for the first time since I teleported. He let out a small gasp as his mouth opened slightly and stared back at me with wide eyes, taking me in.

“Kessho…” He whispered while standing up as he lowered his mask and blush crept onto his cheeks. I let go of his wrist, placed the shoe box on top of a pile of papers on his desk, and walked to the office door to lock it. When I turned around his face was just as bewildered and I started to grow knots in my stomach.

“Is it too much? I just wanted to look nice for you on your special day.” I looked down to the floor and started to spin my wedding ring on my finger. “I know you like how I look in kimonos, and since I’m pregnant I didn’t think my shinobi uniform would be a good fit, not that it really fits right now anyways, and-“ I stopped when his forefinger and middle finger lifted my chin to meet his eyes while his left hand interlaced his fingers with mine and I felt his wedding ring on his ring finger.

“You’ve left me at a loss for words.” He explained before smiling while I let out a huff.

“Is that good or bad?” I questioned only to have him answer with a sweet, gentle kiss onto my lips.

He nosed his way to my ear, pressing his lips so they would graze while his hot breath alone was sending shivers down my spine. “You’re even more beautiful than a flower.” He cooed as his hand that was on my chin traveled down to wrap around my neck. “One that I want to fuck until it wilts.” He growled as he let go of my hand to guide it onto his growing hardness. I bit the corner of my bottom lip while I smoothed my hand over his length. “We have just enough time to quickly take care of this… If you want that is.” He cooed while his hand around my neck slowly crept up as I opened my mouth and he placed a couple fingers inside while I continued to smooth over his length. To answer I pulled in his two fingers with my tongue and swirled around them. “That’s my good girl.” He hummed while I placed my other hand against his flak jacket. “Come over to my desk, won’t you?” He asked while pulling away. I followed him to his desk where he cleared a space for me. I pulled down my juban underneath my furisode, along with my underwear while he made a little more room with his piles. When I jumped up onto the desk, I wrapped my hands around the back of his neck and pulled down at his shirt/mask further to kiss along his neck while his hands went to spread apart the furisode to expose my legs while he let out quiet moans into my ear. His hands went to my thighs as he spread my legs, leaning into me and pressing up against my stomach.

My lips met his again and the kiss was sloppy and messy, but oh so hot… and dirty. “Lord Sixth.” I moaned breathily between kisses. He stopped and gritted his teeth as he moved one hand from my thigh up to my neck, not squeezing… But the grip was commanding nonetheless.

“You’ve ruined that title for me you know.” He spoke against gritted teeth.

“Is that so, Lord Hatake?” I teased while he nibbled on my ear and gripped tightly onto my inner thigh. He pulled away and hummed at the sight of my devious smile.

“Yes… Every time someone calls me that, all I can think about is how you slid back with me fucking you so hard on our dining table while you moan out those words.” He growled while clenching his jaw. He used the hand on my neck to turn my face to the side, pressing his lips to my neck between his fingers.

“How hard?” I asked daringly.

“How hard?” He repeated as he freed his constrained girth.

“How hard?” I dared again before he shoved his length in me with such swiftness and fervor that I moaned at that painful pleasure that I felt from it. My eyes rolled into the back of my head while he covered my mouth.

“I’m going to have to keep you quiet while I fuck you because you’re not going to be able to contain yourself, are you?” He cooed while I nodded my head. He bore a sinister smile as he stared into my eyes, finding something in them that was not apparent to me.

“Fuck me.” I mumbled against his hand. He started up a nice pace as I laced my hand into his hair and pulled. “Hard.” I demanded with my mouth still covered. His hand that wasn’t on my mouth went to grip at my hip as he gave me hard, forceful thrusts. He let out soft grunts with each one into my ear as he continued to stifle moans from me by his hand. With my free hand I removed his hand from my lips quickly and started more sloppy wet kisses, using his lips to stifle my moans instead. I wrapped my legs around him and squeezed my walls around him as I held him there for a moment, feeling him fill me while I parted the kiss. “Lord Hokage?”

“Yes?” He asked breathily with his brows raised. I placed a hand onto his cheek and traced his bottom lip before pulling him down to me to nose my way to his ear.

“Make me wilt.” I purred. When I pulled away I saw a devilish smile on his face before he furrowed his brows, covered my mouth and started thrusting into me fast and hard. I raised my feet onto his desk while he then cradled my back with his hand not on my mouth, to give him a new angle to go in even deeper. The heat within us both was quickly building as I felt him press his hand against my mouth even harder as my moans grew louder, stifled against his strong hand. His pace quickened further as I rubbed his neck while I stared at him with half lidded eyes. He clenched his jaw as his pace started to grow erratic, trying to reach his high. I felt my body start to jerk as I reached mine and my walls clenched around him. After a few more thrusts, towards the end of riding out mine, he reached his as his hand over my mouth dropped.

He pulled out and tucked everything away before helping me sit up and placing a kiss onto my forehead. His touch was gentle now as he caressed my face with one hand while his other reaching into one of his desk drawers. He pulled out a napkin and started cleaning what I can only assume the lipstick smeared on my face. His face was also painted a vibrant pink, which looking at it now made me laugh. “You’ll need to wipe your own face too.” I remarked with a smile and he chuckled.

“Is it my shade?” He teased while I puckered out my bottom lip.

“It does go well with you.” I admitted. “Though not with your outfit.” I commented with another chuckle while he let out a hearty laugh. “Oh and the tailor wasn’t able to finish up you haori. She said to bring it back after the ceremony. But I have to ask… Why is it so big?” I questioned while he helped me off of his desk and I put on my underwear along with the juban to then readjust the furisode as he finished off wiping my face.

“Remember when you mentioned... About how important it was to have skin to skin contact with the babies?” He placed his hand on my face and thumbed my cheek. When I nodded he continued, “Well I thought maybe you can leave them with me once in a while… And when you do, I can take turns with them resting on my chest underneath the haori while I do paperwork. I also meant to mention, can you find a small crib for here? One that will fit both, but doesn’t take up a lot of space?” He explained with his eyes watching my face as a lump formed in my throat. I had one hand on my stomach and I used the other to pull him down to me to kiss his forehead.

“You’re going to be such a good father.” I cooed as my heart felt so full. He shook his head a little, almost as if the remark I made was somehow out of place. “Of course. I’ll find one for here.” I nodded before I turned to the shoebox I had brought. After grabbing onto it, I hesitated for a moment.

“I was wondering what that was.” He spoke with his head tilted to the side.

“I hope you’re not mad. I honestly had forgotten I had it when I gave you your birthday present, plus it needed to be mended some. Honestly I’m surprised it was in such good condition when I found it, but-“ I stopped as he peeked into the box. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped.

“Kessho… How did you? How long were you sifting in the rubble for that day?” He asked bewildered as he closed the box and his eyes darted between mine with his brows furrowed.

“It wasn’t during the day… I snuck out at night… And all night…” I sheepishly admitted. “I don’t have anything from my mom except my mask and her ring. I just wanted to make sure you had something that helped you know who you were…” I explained as I looked away and out the window only to look back after I felt a kiss on my cheek before he took the box. “You should wear it today.” I insisted. He opened the lid to the shoe box and hesitated as he looked at his dad’s old shinobi sweatshirt that had the extra white sleeve of the white fang. I placed my hand onto his shoulder blade and rubbed while I watched him pick it up into his hands. To encourage him, I started to unzip his flak jacket and after another moment of hesitation, he put down the shirt to remove the flak jacket. I helped him out of his sweatshirt, folding it up and placing it onto his chair. He held the sweatshirt into his hands and stared at it.

“When I was a kid… I always dreamed of the day I’d be able to wear this… But I never wore it because I never felt good enough for it.” He admitted as he slumped his shoulders and clenched tightly at the sweatshirt.

“Kakashi… You’re about to be named hokage. If you’re not good enough now, then when?” I reasoned while placing my hand onto his shoulder. He didn’t say anything, he simply nodded and put it on. I took a step back as he was putting on his flak jacket and he looked so handsome. It suited him somehow. I pulled at the haori and handed it to him, which he then took out of the plastic bag and off the hanger, to slip it on, completed with a white scarf. He raised his mask underneath and I reached for my black clutch to pull out the lipstick and reapply while walking towards the door. Just as I was about to open it, Kakashi placed his hand on it to stop me.

“Let me get one last look at you, now that I have you all to myself.” Kakashi ordered. I turned around and he tucked a loose strand of my hair back, his hand lingering on my face. I looked at this man that was now wearing this… Oversized haori… But wearing one, having chosen it, for reasons I love him all the more for. He pressed his masked lips to my forehead to then hear a knocking on the door.

“Lord Sixth, we’re ready for you.” I heard Shikamaru say behind the door as I felt Kakashi’s hand tense up.

“Please drop the Lord.” He whined as I snickered.

“I really did ruin that for you, didn’t I?” I questioned and he raised his eyebrows and let out a sigh.

“I was never one for formalities before, but…” He nosed his way to my ear to whisper, “It only sounds right coming out of your pretty little mouth now.” The pad of his thumb pulled down at my lower lip as he spoke the words that gave me such goose bumps and turned me on so… Fuck. I turned around and opened the door behind me to see Shikamaru waiting next to Tenzo.

“K-kessho-sensei.” Shikamaru stuttered.

“Please don’t call me sensei anymore.” I insisted. “We’ve fought in war together, we’re equals.”

“Right.” He gave a small nod and a tight lipped smile. “Is that what you went to get that day, at the tailor’s?” Shikamaru asked as I walked alongside him up to the roof with Kakashi falling behind with Tenzo.

“It is. How’s it look?” I asked with a smile.

“It looks great, really, you look… Like Lady Hatake as opposed to Kessho-sensei.” He remarked and we both laughed.

“Yeah well it’ll only last until midnight, then I change right back to Kessho-sensei.” I joked with a toothy grin while lacing my fingers together to then place them over my stomach.

“So how far along are you now?” He asked while taking occasional glances my way with his hands in his pockets.

“18 weeks.” I answered, which I’ll need to ask Lady Tsunade today when she plans to give me our next ultrasound…

“Do you know the sexes yet?” He wondered aloud as we made our way up the steps.

“No, and quite frankly I don’t want to know.” I answered while gripping onto the railing with one hand and lifting the furisode slightly with the other.

“Do you have a guess?”

“A boy and a girl.” I glanced back with a smile to see him smiling as well as I reached the top of the stairs. I opened the door to the roof and when I walked out I saw Guy sitting there in his wheelchair with Lee beside him. I’m glad he was able to make it up, but… How?

“You’re positively glowing with youth!” Guy shouted while giving me a thumbs up and blush crept up onto my cheeks.

“Thanks, you’re looking good yourself.” I smiled. “How are you feeling?” I questioned.

“As spry and youthful as ever!” He beamed with a grin so wide, you’d think it would twinkle. He quickly wheeled away as Kakashi came through the door to the roof and I just stood back with Shikamaru.

“So I hear you’re going to be his assistant?” I commented more than questioned.

“Yup. I want to make sure to know the ins and outs of everything. I feel it’s the best way for me to help the king.” He explained while teetering on the heels of his feet to his toes with his hands in his pockets. I placed my hand on his shoulder and he stopped.

“Your father would be proud.” I gave him a half smile, but he glanced at me and scoffed. “I know I am.” I reasoned and he looked at me closely this time so I maintained my serious face. He gave a short nod as blush crept onto his cheeks while he looked away. He walked over to Kakashi as Tenzo headed over to me. Tenzo and I stood by in a comfortable silence as we watched Shikamaru pull Kakashi away from Guy. I started to look around for Lady Tsunade, only to notice she wasn’t here yet…

Was she late? Honestly I don’t even know when this thing is supposed to start really. I suppose it must be soon though. Just then, I heard the door to the roof open and in came Lady Tsunade. I do need to talk to her at some point, although it seems she’s just coming over here towards me. “Kessho! You look gorgeous!” She called out with a smile as she approached. “Now, in two weeks, you’ll come in for your ultrasound, and once those two are born we’re going out for drinks!” She chimed as I gulped before she leaned in. “You’re also going to help me take out that one…” She pointed to Kakashi who was talking with Shikamaru in the distance. “Out for drinks to celebrate after.” She nudged me with her elbow as she smiled.

“I’ll make him drink all the drinks I can’t have, Lady-“ Her smile faded as she narrowed her eyes. “Er… I mean, Tsunade…” I finished hesitantly as she shed a wide smile. She slapped her hand onto my back happily as I jerked forward and coughed. The strength of this woman… She went along ahead, wearing the Hokage hat for the last time. She stood before the village below and started to announce the commencement of the ceremony. Everyone below quieted down at her words as she announced the succession and called onto Kakashi. She then passed the Hokage hat on, placing it atop Kakashi’s head. When she stepped back, I could see Kakashi tensing up as his hands fisted. Come on Kakashi… You’ve got this…

“We lost many in the war. Some friends, some family… I always tell myself that I’m never going to lose anyone else, but that always seems nearly impossible and I end up failing…” He clenched his hands even tighter as he paused. Come on Kakashi… “But now the stakes for me are higher than they’ve ever been. We’ve won the war, thanks to people like Naruto, but not just him… Also thanks to the great shinobi, who gave everything, so we could have our lives… Our futures to live out. I lost my family when I was young, and I took this job… In part… To protect the new one I’ve found. And yet… Standing here before all of you… I see that family has just grown bigger than I ever thought imaginable. I will protect all of you. Every last one of you, because there are these words I live by that were taught to me long ago: those who don’t follow the rules are scum, but those who abandon their friends are worse than scum. Taking these words, I will ensure protection for all the village, it’s people in it, and I vow to maintain peace for the shinobi world.” Everyone cheered and roared below as I saw his fists unclench. He did it… I’m so proud of this man… He’s going to be a wonderful Hokage… He started to step back and walk towards me but Guy rolled up to him. They exchanged a few words before he started to make his way over to me again with Guy following along. When he stood before me he held out his hand for me to take, which I did and gave him a squeeze with a smile. “Come stand with me in front of them.” He started to pull while turning back towards the crowd while I let go.

“Kakashi, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I spoke in hushed tones. He twirled around and walked into my space, my belly touching his haori, as he took my hands. His eyes searched mine as his head tilted to the side. “I can do what I’m supposed to do because I blend into the background… I hide in the shadows… Presenting me out in the sun blatantly like that… It’s unwise…” I explained as he squeezed my hands. His face was straight as he was trying to hide his reaction, which wasn’t a good sign.

“I understand.” He put simply as he nodded. I squeezed his hands before placing them onto my stomach.

“You did really well, and they seem to think so too.” I told him while putting a hand onto his cheek and I could feel him smile through the mask. He stayed there for a moment as his hands followed the movements of the kicks. It shortly after died down and he stepped away for a moment to talk with Lady Tsunade. I turned to Tenzo and leaned into him. “You know the bar we always hang out at, right?” I questioned and he nodded. “Head over there. I’ll come with Kakashi in a bit.” I whispered and his eyes widened before he snickered.

“You really think you can get him to a bar?” Tenzo asked with such doubt in his voice, and I grew mildly offended.

“Just go.” I told him before pushing him off while scowling. He chuckled but soon after left. I then walked over to Guy who was waiting for Kakashi. I bent over from behind to be at the same level as him. “Guy, I’m going to get Kakashi to go to the bar after this. Can you go roundup Anko and Kurenai?”

“But… Kurenai can’t drink!” Guy whispered shouted as he looked over his shoulder to me.

“She’s still a part of our group, isn’t she?” I reasoned with my brows raised.

“You’re absolutely right, wife of my eternal rival!” He smiled with a thumbs up as he started to roll around.

“Yamato is already over there, I’ll come soon.” I assured.

“Sounds like a great plan, I’ll be waiting for you there!” He called out before rolling off with Lee. When I turned back to Lady Tsunade and Kakashi, they had just finished talking and Kakashi was looking at me with a brow raised. I approached and took Kakashi’s hand in mine.

“I’ll meet up with you in a bit.” I gave Lady Fifth a wink and she gave me a quick nod before walking off.

“What are you planning…?” He questioned with his eyebrow raised. “Wait…” He looked around the rooftop. “Where’s Tenzo?” He questioned as he continued to look around and I placed my hand onto his cheek to center him.

“I sent him off. I wanted to spend time with you.” I answered with a smile. His eyes drifted to mine and his shoulders slumped. “Walk with me?” I asked and I drifted my hand back down to meet his as I took a few steps to the rooftop entrance. “I’m sorry I didn’t stand with you.” I confessed quietly as we made our way down the stairs. He squeezed my hand and I saw a half smile form beneath his mask as I stole a glance.

“It’s ok. I understand.” He responded with a solemn tone.

“I just…” I placed my hand onto my stomach. “I need to keep them safe…” I whispered.

“What do you mean?” He wondered as his thumb smoothed the back of my hand.

“Well… My identity… If I ever get found out because I spent too much time in the sun, it could put them at risk. That’s not something I’m willing to jeopardize.” I explained moving my hand to lifting the furisode. He squeezed my hand.

“I didn’t even think about it like that…” He let out a small sigh as I watched my feet going down the steps.

“It’s ok. It’s my burden.” I insisted as we reached the bottom step onto the ground floor of the building. “I also want to place some mindblocks on you… I want to make sure you’re protected.”

“That’s probably a good idea… I had mine removed after I left the Anbu… They made me feel a little… Well, that doesn’t matter. I need them now honestly with this position.” He acknowledged as we started to walk into the streets and people started to stare. His hand left mine and I grabbed at my bicep, smiling nervously at all the eyes that were on us. “It’s fine… Just ignore it…” He insisted as I took a deep breath.

“So we’re going to the bar to celebrate…” I started

“So that’s what you were planning…” He interjected as he peeked out to me from the corner of his eye with a smirk on his face. “And you’re going into a bar, and not to drink?” He teased.

“You’re going to drink all the things I can’t, for me.” I informed.

“Am I now?” He remarked with a playful tone.

“Yes you are.” I answered with a smile as I reached out and interlocked my pinky finger with his. We walked into the bar and everyone started clapping as we came in, but in the corner of my eye I could see him tug at his scarf, trying to hide himself behind it. This was going to take some getting used to for him. All the attention… 

We saw Kurenai, Guy, Anko, Yamato, and Lady Tsunade all sitting down over at our usual spot, despite the bar being new… Its layout was still the same and everything felt so familiar… And comforting. He sat down, joining them while I walked up to the bar. “I’ll take a bottle of sake please.” I ordered and the bartender raised their eyebrow. “It’s not for me… It’s for my husband.” I clarified as they hesitated for a moment. After another moment, they handed me a bottle of sake and a shot glass which I took with me and placed in front of Kakashi. He quickly took one and I placed my hand onto his back as I sat down. “You’ll get used to it.” I cooed as I leaned into him.

“Honestly I’m not quite sure I ever will.” He replied as he poured himself another shot.

“Wow… I didn’t even need to convince you…” I teased as he looked at me with his head tilted. “You’re already drinking for me.” I teased as he took the shot. He then narrowed his eyes at me and made a face.

“You two really go into your own little world, don’t you?” Lady Tsunade remarked with rosy cheeks, likely from the alcohol. I felt my own cheeks grow rosy at her comment as Kakashi placed a hand on my thigh underneath the table. Lady Fifth started pouring herself some sake and held up the small glass. “To the new Hokage!” She shouted and everyone who could, quickly poured a glass, or simply held up the drink they already had before they all drank in Kakashi’s honor. When the server came by, they brought us menus, which I was thankful for, given I wasn’t sure if Kakashi had eaten much at all. He seemed surprisingly giggly, the sake was hitting him quickly. Hopefully eating something will sober him up some. I was also starving myself, not having eaten since this morning. After dinner, we stayed for another couple hours, as Kakashi drank away, enjoying his time with everyone. And I did too… It felt like… Before the war… The only thing was someone missing… A certain someone who belonged next to Kurenai. I gave Kurenai a sympathetic smile as she caught me staring at the empty seat beside her. She glanced at the empty seat herself with a certain… Fondness.

“Aw come on you two! Don’t get all doooom and glooooom like that!” Anko slurred and we both chuckled.

“Can you make sure to get her home?” I asked while looking at Kurenai and motioning my head to Anko. Kurenai nodded with a smile and Anko pouted with her bottom lip sticking out and arms folded across her chest.

“HEY!” She shouted while leaning over the table to look at me as she pointed. “I don’t need help getting home.” She continued to slur while I chuckled and shook my head. Kakashi’s hands traced along the cherry blossom kanzashi’s petals that brushed my cheek. He started to nose his way to my cheek as the Hokage hat was pushed back in the process and I caught it before it fell as he placed a masked kiss on my cheek before he rested his head on my shoulder.

“You ok?” I asked with one hand on his thigh after placing the hokage hat before him.

“Yeah…” He hummed. “Just… It’s nice to be here with everyone…” He slurred dreamily.

“You…? Happy to be out socializing? I never thought I’d see it.” I teased and he nipped at my neck. I jerked back and turned to see him with a sly smile. I let out a snort while smiling and turned back to take a sip of my water. “What was that?” I murmured as he leaned his head again on my shoulder and he let out a chuckle that was a little more reminiscent of a giggle.

“Just having a little fun…” He answered as he squeezed his hand on my thigh.

“I think it might be time to get you home…” I told him while removing his hand from my thigh and grabbing onto my clutch. He let out another happy hum before lifting up his head.

“I think you might be right…” He answered dreamily. I got up and went to the bar to pay for the food and drinks, to then walk back and help Kakashi up after putting the Hokage hat back onto his head.

“Leaving so soon?” Lady Fifth whined.

“Yes, Kakashi can’t handle his liquor quite as well as I can.” I joked as I wrapped his arm around my shoulders and he leaned up against me.

“That’s a shame, I was just about to start to ask about you two… Every once in a while you would show up to training with… Bruises.” She wiggled her fingers before giggling to herself as I felt Kakashi pulling his arm back and pushing me to try and leave. When I looked at his face his eyes were wide and entranced and I couldn’t help but let out a few giggles.

“Seems Kakashi is urging me to leave, so I’m going to follow Lord Sixth’s orders.” I teased as I grabbed his arm, put it around my shoulders again, and helped him out of the bar as he waved his goodbyes.

“You normally would make comments on the bruises or anything else about our love life… But you left…” He looked down to me as he stumbled a bit so I held on to his hand tightly to steady him. “Why…?” He asked curiously.

“Because… In the infinite Tsukuyomi… When we were in an onsen with Jiraiya-“

“What?!” He shouted, bewildered as I felt his muscles tense.

“Relax.” I responded before chuckling to myself. “It wasn’t like that. I was telling him about our love story… It was one of the few good things that came out of that wretched place.” I felt his arm muscles relax around me. “He loved our story and wanted to know more about us… Like what about each other makes us tick. Then he started to ask about our sex life, and I started to answer until you used the safe word.” I explained to him as he leaned his head on top of mine.

“I don’t think that’s something I can give you…” He cooed.

“Funny… You said those same exact words in the dream…” I smiled to myself as I thought back on that time as I passed my clutch into the hand that had been holding his to then wrap my free one around his hips to steady him further. “Then we talked about a fantasy of mine… One that I hope you’d still be willing to go along with…”

“Oh…?” He lifted his head with his voice sounding intrigued.

“Well…” I started as we turned onto our street, which didn’t have anyone on it. “I want you, to fuck me in your office-“

“We’ve already done that…” He remarked as his hand around my shoulders reached down my chest to grope at it.

“Let me finish.” I ordered as I swatted his hand away. “It was me naked, with my breasts squished against the window as you fucked me from behind with your hand around my neck.” He responded with a guttural growl as he clawed at my chest. “I’ll take that as you still being interested.” I chuckled. “But you’re far too drunk for us to do anything right now.” I reasoned as I opened the front door to our home while he groaned.

“Come on…” He cooed as he walked along ahead, stripping away at his hat, scarf, and haori, letting them fall to the floor where they may. “Don’t you just want to kiss these lips?” He slurred as he lowered his mask. I smiled as I picked up his things to place them on the sofa chair in the living room.

“Of course I do, but that’s as far as it’s going tonight.” I warned as he stripped his flak jacket and kicked off his shoes. He started to strip off his sweatshirt, but stopped as he felt the sleeve attached to it of the white fang. I took off my zori myself to then see he had taken off the sweatshirt and was holding and staring at the sleeve.

“Thank you Kessho… For always giving me what I need.” He replied strangely lucid before stumbling back as he lost balance. He placed the sweatshirt on the haori as I took his hand and guided him to the bedroom. I started to take off the obi to turn around abruptly at hearing a thud, only to see Kakashi on the floor still struggling to take off his pants.

“You alright there?” I asked between bouts of laughter. He finally managed to get them off as I took out the kanzashi and undid the updo. He walked over to me and ran his hands along my shoulders before sweeping my hair to the side to place sweet kisses along my neck. I closed my eyes for a moment as he undid the koshihimo and slid off the furisode. My eyes snapped open and I stepped away, causing him to let out a groan. “Kakashi…” I warned as I slid off the juban and put it all on the chair in front of the vanity. I walked out of the bedroom in my lacy bra and underwear to grab a glass of water for Kakashi. When I walked back into the bedroom I saw him on the bed wearing only his boxers, propped up on his elbow and patting the bed for me to join him with his closed eyed smile. Instead I handed him the glass of water.

“Fiiiiiiiiine.” He started chugging the glass so I turned to the dresser to pull out one of his sweatshirts which I put on after taking off my bra. “But first thing tomorrow morning… You’re mine.” He growled while I went to the bathroom to wipe my face. When I made my way back I got into bed and laid on my side facing him. He slid down so his face was in front of my stomach and he lifted up the sweatshirt. “Hi my two little girls…” I chuckled as his gaze snapped up to mine briefly. “You shush, they’re both girls. I can’t wait for you both to get here…” He cooed as he rested his head under one arm and placed his other hand onto my stomach. “I know I’m going to mess up… A lot probably… But I want you both to know I’ll always love you. That I won’t mess up on. Ever.” He started to rub my belly, gently in circles. “I kind of hope you don’t want to be shinobi.” He whispered. “But if you do, I’ll train you to be the best shinobi ever, making sure you can take down anyone. Especially boys. I’m going to train you even if you don’t want to be shinobi… You should always know how to take down boys…” He furrowed his brows and I giggled. I ran my fingers in through his hair to start to massage his scalp. “I’ll try to spend as much time as I can with you two… I’ll try my best to come home as much as I can… Your mom will bring you by the office too…” He started to yawn and dreamily placed a kiss onto my big round belly. I kept massaging his scalp as he kept talking to the two in my stomach until we drifted off into sleep.


	6. Enveloped?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:   
> “Did you really want five?” I wondered aloud as I looked at the plushie of Pakkun. They must’ve just started making these now that Kakashi is Hokage…
> 
> “I just wanted a big family.” I saw him shrug in my periphery.
> 
> “Didn’t you just say the whole village was your family?” I teased while poking his side as I carried the baby bag up the stairs.
> 
> “I did say that.” He chuckled to himself. “I guess since it was just me growing up… It felt lonely at times… So quiet…” He drifted off as we reached the baby room and his hand traced along the crib. “I guess maybe that’s why I always daydreamed about hearing lots of ruckus around the house.” I placed the baby bag onto the dresser and wandered over to him, taking his hand and placing my other onto his cheek.
> 
> “How about this… How about we just let things happen as they may.” I suggested with a smile as he was watching my lips. “It’s not like we’re really careful with things anyways…” I chuckled nervously as he smiled while one of his hands drifted onto my back.
> 
> “Sounds perfect.” He pressed his lips to mine as he started to undo my obi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!

“Come on Tenzo! I bet he hasn’t even left the office yet even though he’s not even supposed to be working!” I called out excitedly amongst the crowds of people gathering in the streets to greet in the new year.

“Slow down! There’s too many people!” Tenzo cried out, sounding a little flustered, so I slowed down some.

“I just want to make sure he gets to have some fun too!” I shouted over the crowds as I continued to weave my way through as we approached the hokage tower. I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked over to see Tenzo having caught up just as we were about to be free from the crowds… So I ran ahead to quickly rush into the hokage tower. I started to run up the stairs, pulling up at my kimono along the way so I wouldn't trip. As I made my way to the top floor I could hear Tenzo calling out to me, but I just kept going. He’ll catch up eventually. When I ran into his office I saw that it was empty. Tenzo skidded to a halt behind me as I thought about where he might be.

“The roof!” We both exclaimed at the same time. Tenzo made his way to the far staircase that had roof access and rushed up ahead and I ran catching up behind him, hiking up my kimono so I wouldn't fall. Tenzo stood by the roof entrance to see Kakashi looking down at the crowds below from the edge of the roof. There were some people on the roof preparing what I can only assume was a fireworks show for the people of Konoha. I dropped my kimono and slowly walked over to Kakashi. As I approached I placed my hand onto his back and rested my forearm onto the roof railing while looking at the crowds below.

“So were you planning on hiding out here away from me and everyone else?” I asked while seeing all the people below, cheerful and happy, eating street food, partaking in games and other traditions…

“Not from you. I knew you’d find me.” I watched him take off his hokage hat in my periphery as he lowered his mask and pressed a kiss on my cheek before raising his mask once again. “You always do.” He whispered before nuzzling into my neck.

“You’re my bright star, bringing light into my dark life… Of course I do.” I smiled as I felt his hot breath against my neck while he chuckled. He straightened up and leaned his left forearm onto the railing, facing me with his head tilted to the side. I mirrored his body positioning to face him and saw him smiling and the tops of his cheeks were a nice pink.

“Me? Really?” He asked with a raised eyebrow. “Bringing light into someone’s life?” His tone was mocking and doubtful.

“That’s what stars do, isn’t it?” I teased as his brow lowered. He rested both forearms onto the railing and looked out to the crowd again, fiddling with the hokage hat in his hands.

“You really think I do that for you?” He asked, sounding like he didn’t want to admit it. I placed my left hand on the small of his back as I inched closer to him.

“I know it’s what you do.” I cooed as I studied his face. There was a certain sadness to him right now… One I really wish I could take away. “Kakashi… Why is that so hard for you to believe?” I asked as I circled my left hand on his back as he continued to fiddle with the hokage hat.

“How can I be light if all I’ve known is darkness?” He questioned with a smile that was filled with pain.

“I don’t know… But I hope I’ve brought some light in…” I mentioned as I retreated my hand and placed my forearm beside his on the railing.

“No… I mean… Of course you have…” He mumbled while brushing away one of those stupid hormonal fueled tears from my cheek.

“Our lives may have only used to know darkness…” I trailed off for a moment as I tugged at my kimono sleeves. “But I know my life has gotten a lot brighter with you in it. It’s not so dark anymore…” I chuckled to myself as he wrapped his arm around me, bringing me into him.

“You’re right.” I heard him whisper with his bare lips brushing against my ear. When did he lower his mask? “My life is a lot brighter now… All thanks to you…” He cooed as he placed a hand onto my cheek and turned my face towards his to pull me into a sweet kiss as I heard the hokage hat fall to the floor beside us. When my eyes fluttered open his eyes no longer had the same sadness that was within them earlier. His hand drifted from my chin to my hand (not without brushing past my breast first… the tease) and clasped on.

“I’m not the only one who’s made it brighter, Kakashi.” I pointed out as I walked closer and rested my head on his chest as his free hand went to cover the side of my head.

“I know… But let me tell you a secret.” I lifted my head and he leaned down to whisper in my ear. “You’re the brightest.” His hot breath gave me goosebumps as I giggled at his words. He bent down to pick his hokage hat up and place it onto his head. “So I assume you have some things planned?” He wondered with a lazy tone.

“Yes, we need to eat some toshikoshi soba! And the baby store saved a few fukubukuro for us.” I chimed as I pulled his arm towards the entrance where Tenzo was still waiting. I could see Kakashi was smiling beneath his mask as we made our way out. Tenzo, Kakashi, and I first stopped by the store to pick up the fukubukuro first. The shopkeep owner kept insisting that it was a gift, but we reasoned that we couldn’t take gifts as the economy was rebuilding. We then took the bags and carried them before stopping along a shop to eat some toshikoshi soba. By then we parted ways with Tenzo as we made our way home, making sure to invite him for the osechi ryori that I had been working on preparing for the past couple of days.

“How much food did you prepare?” He questioned as we made our way home.

“Enough for Naruto, Kurenai, Tenzo, Guy, Lady Tsunade, and Anko.” I informed while swinging his hand that held mine happily.

“That’s a lot of food… And are you sure Naruto will come?” He wondered.

“Maybe not… But I wanted him to have somewhere to go.” I chimed as he gave me his closed eyed smile. We walked inside the house and started to open the fukubukuro first, finding all sorts of different baby things inside. Everything from a plushie or two, to socks and other baby clothes, to baby bottles, to even a baby bag… In Kakashi’s opinion, there were too many things that were obviously for boys considering we were supposed to be having two girls. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Good thing we’re having a boy too then.” I teased before placing a kiss onto his cheek.

“You want another kid after these two?” He joked, but then his smile faded, leaving only the outer corner of his lips turned upwards as he smoothed his hand over my thigh. “No really… Do you?”

“I mean… I’m not opposed…” I answered with a smile as he took my hand in both of his and kissed the back of my palm. I felt his lips grow into a smile against the back of my palm. “How many do you want…?” I asked cautiously. He held my palm closely to his face as he sheepishly tried to hide behind it.

“Five.” He answered with his eyes practically twinkling. I felt my eyes automatically widen as I tried to compose myself before responding.

“You get three. Enough for a team.” I answered sternly. He lowered my hand and I saw his lips puckered towards one side.

“Ok.” He smiled before resting his forehead on the side of my face. “We should go put this away in the baby room.” He spoke gently into my ear. I nodded and started to help pick everything up.

“Did you really want five?” I wondered aloud as I looked at the plushie of Pakkun. They must’ve just started making these now that Kakashi is Hokage…

“I just wanted a big family.” I saw him shrug in my periphery.

“Didn’t you just say the whole village was your family?” I teased while poking his side as I carried the baby bag up the stairs.

“I did say that.” He chuckled to himself. “I guess since it was just me growing up… It felt lonely at times… So quiet…” He drifted off as we reached the baby room and his hand traced along the crib. “I guess maybe that’s why I always daydreamed about hearing lots of ruckus around the house.” I placed the baby bag onto the dresser and wandered over to him, taking his hand and placing my other onto his cheek.

“How about this… How about we just let things happen as they may.” I suggested with a smile as he was watching my lips. “It’s not like we’re really careful with things anyways…” I chuckled nervously as he smiled while one of his hands drifted onto my back.

“Sounds perfect.” He pressed his lips to mine as he started to undo my obi. The obi dropped the floor and his tongue darted in. His other hand went to undo my hair, to then interlace his fingers into it as I placed one hand onto his hip, trying to pull him against me. The kiss started to grow sloppy as I felt him hardening while I moaned into the kiss. He parted the kiss to brush my hair to one side before starting to kiss down my jaw and neck while I removed his haori. He pulled away for a moment while rather breathless. “The fireworks are starting soon…” He murmured.

“I don’t care about watching fireworks. The only fireworks I care about are the ones I make with you.” I purred while placing my hand onto his face. He laughed before finishing off with his closed eyed smile.

“That was ridiculously cheesy.” He teased as he removed my koshihimo to then press his forehead against mine. “But also very sweet.” He smiled as I dropped my hand to let him remove my kimono. “And oh so tempting…” He acknowledged as the kimono dropped to the floor. My hands went to remove his flak jacket and I could feel his chest rumble beneath my hands as he let out a content hum. He removed his gloves while I removed his sweatshirt before one of his hands went into my hair and the other slammed down onto my lower cheek as I yelped into a kiss. Our lips grazed playfully with each other as he smiled against mine. “Lets go to the bedroom… I want to take my time with you tonight…” He spoke with his lips continuing to brush against mine. I held onto the hand he had on my lower cheek, leading him back down stairs to our bedroom, leaving our clothing behind.

I crawled onto the bed and removed my bra while I watched him take off his skin tight shirt and pants. I rested on the bed on my knees as he walked up slowly. He gently placed a hand onto my face, which I leaned into as he pulled me into another his. His tongue forced my mouth open as I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him into me, pressing our chests together so I could feel him. He placed his other hand delicately at the small of my back, tracing his calloused fingertips along my scar riddled skin. His lips moved down placing sweet, gentle kisses along my jaw. “Why. Are. You. Always. So. Desperate?” He asked between kisses as I let out a couple light moans.

“I just… I want-Ah be… Enveloped-mmm by you…” I confessed while running my fingers through his hair and pressing his head into my neck. He pulled away slightly and looked me in the eye.

“Enveloped?” He tilted his head slightly as I tried to pull his body into me closer, but as always lately, this belly keeps getting in the way.

“Like… Every part of me touching all of you…” I pursed my lips while I rummaged my brain for the right words as his brows furrowed slightly while watching my lips. “When we’re making love… I like to feel as close to you as I can.” I admitted before nosing my way to his cheek, trying to hide my face. “But lately… This big belly keeps getting in the way.” I whined as I heard him let out a hearty laugh.

“Lay down… I’ll take care of you.” He cooed gently, so I laid on our bed with my head on the pillow. He got up onto the bed and straddled me, bending over, slightly pushing into my stomach to give me a quick peck as one hand held mine while the other wrapped into my hair, cradling my head. From there he moved along my jaw, to my neck, placing soft and gentle kisses as he went. I laced my free hand into his hair as I caught him occasionally stealing glances. He continued to move his way down my skin, moving his hand along with him the further down he went to make sure his hands were always touching my skin. His lips took extra care at my many scars, while his calloused fingers traced all along my body. To meet my wishes. He tried to keep himself pressed to me as much as he could, and when he couldn’t, his hand gripped at mine tightly. His lips were tracing what seemed to be every last inch of my skin, save for my stomach… Which my guess is he was saving for last. He let go of my hand as his fingers traced the stretch marks that had started to form and his eyes glanced at me as he continued to place loving kisses. Each kiss felt like little electric, fluttering, mini tingles sent throughout my body as he went along. His journey of delicate kisses ended by coming back up to my lips again as he wrapped his strong arms around me.

When I wrapped my arms around his upper body, he pulled me to sit up and I could feel his hardness pressing onto my thighs without his lips ever leaving mine. His tongue darted around and massaged mine as one of his hands came around delicately tracing a calloused fingertip around my smooth nipple. As I started to softly moan at his touch while trying to grind against him, he broke the kiss to press his forehead to mine and switch between watching my reaction and watching his fingers as they traced along. He pinched at my nipple and I let out a moan as my eyes rolled into the back of my head. His lips smashed into mine as his hand flew to my cheek as I leaned into the kiss. I could feel his brow furrowing in frustration against my temple, almost as if he was angry he couldn’t get enough of me as he clung to me and I to him. I clawed at his back, trying to press his chest against mine as he ground himself into me while things started to grow more heated. “Ka-ah! Kashi… I need you…” I cooed as I moved one of my hands to hold onto his wrist that was near my face.

He gently laid me back down and helped me take off my underwear before removing his boxers. He bent down over me placing a delicate kiss onto my forehead to then cup my face with one of his hands. His eyes bore into mine as I lazily hung one hand around his neck while smiling dreamily at him. “I love you.” He whispered as he traced his thumb across my lower lip and my other hand held his wrist.

“I love you to-ahhh.” I replied as he inserted himself into me. He stayed there for a moment as I clenched onto him, feeling his girth fill me as I watched his eyes close and his brows touch while he grunted. I could hear the fireworks start outside as he straightened and lifted one of my legs to rest against his chest. His arm wrapped around my leg as he held onto my foot and kissed my ankle while his other hand went to hold mine. He started to slowly thrust into me as he gripped tightly onto my hand, his mouth agape with furrowed brows as he groaned in pleasure. I closed my eyes and arched my back enjoying my satisfaction. The cool air started to seep into my uncovered skin and I started to whimper. “No… This position isn’t working…” I whined. He stopped and pulled out while giving quick nods as he lowered my leg from his chest.

“Shhhh… It’s ok, I’m here…” He cooed as he pulled me up to him an embrace. “Turn around.” He instructed as he rested on his knees. I turned around while also on my knees as his hands fell to my hips. He lifted my hip with one hand and I felt him line himself up to my entrance from behind. He then spread my legs so they went around his before resting one on my inner thigh with his other hand at the base of my neck, pulling me into him so my back was pressed against his chest with his strong arms wrapped around me. “Better?” He asked with a whisper now with his lips brushing against my ear. I let out a relieved sigh followed by a happy hum as I started a slow pace. He placed gentle kisses along my neck as the hand of his that was on my thigh drifted to my lower lips, teasing away on the outside. One of my hands went to his, guiding his finger between my folds as my pace quickened some while my other hand gripped at his forearm.

He started to nip at my shoulder while rubbing my sensitive bundle in circles as I gripped at his wrist. His hand on the base of my neck moved up to turn my face towards his where the edges of our lips touched in a strained, desperate kiss. He readjusted slightly to get his lips closer to mine and as I clenched down at his girth while pulling up, he bit my bottom lip as he pulled away from the kiss. He started to rub in circles faster, so I quickened my pace, bouncing on him now. I locked my fingers with his hand that wasn’t between my thighs and pulled it around me as he placed more kisses along my back as I bounced and heat started to build.

Swiftly, he pulled us onto our sides, laying down. My back was still pressed to his and he hiked one of my thighs over his hip before moving back to my clit, continuing rubbing it in pleasure inducing circles. His other hand was still interlocked with mine, holding me below my chest and pulling me tightly into him. He started thrusting into me at a dizzying pace as loud moans escaped my lips while he nipped at my shoulder. I could feel his muscles tense behind me as did mine as I heard the fireworks stop outside. His pace started to quicken, but grew erratic as I pulled up at our interlocked hands to kiss the back of his and keep it held at my lips. I held my breath as I tried to hold on as long as I could, not wanting to let go and end our passionate expression. “Cum for me.” He whispered while his lips brushed against my ear. Just like that we both exploded as we reached ecstasy. He gave a few more slow final thrusts as we rode out our highs and then pulled out… But we didn’t move, we stayed exactly like that for a while, just holding each other there.

My hormones had me in a craze as we repeated the event between naps a few more times throughout the night. Each time was just as passionate and intense as the last.

“Kakashi.” I mumbled groggily as I shook him awake.

“Hm?” He hummed with his eyes closed.

“The first sunrise.” I told him while shaking him a little more vigorously.

“Not sex?” He sounded like he was complaining only to groggily finish with a chuckle.

“Maybe after.” I hummed before planting a kiss on his cheek as he rubbed his eyes. I stretched my arms and legs out as he yawned and sat up. I pushed myself up and went to the dresser to grab some underwear. Kakashi came up and wrapped his arms around me from behind and I rested my head on his chest. After enjoying his warmth for a moment, I snapped my head up and groaned. “We’re going to miss it!” I grumbled while I softly smacked his hands away and grabbed a sweatshirt he had made for me with the Hatake clan symbol and put it on. After walking out of the bedroom, I grabbed a blanket from the linen closet, slipped on some shoes, and headed outside onto the porch facing the sunrise. The sun was just starting to peek out from behind the trees with the sky being painted brilliantly orange, chasing away the darkness. He came out after another moment and wrapped his arms around me, along with the blanket that was covering them. In that moment I don’t think I’ve ever felt more happy, loved, and secure.

“Happy New Year.” He whispered before placing a kiss onto my cheek as we continued to watch the sunrise into the new year.


	7. You're 20 weeks pregnant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:
> 
> “Where should I put it?” I questioned while holding up the frame and smiling at him.
> 
> “Right here.” He motioned as I saw him place down the one he had next to another photo in a frame. I walked around the desk to stand beside him and saw that the photo was the one of the both of us, smiling, wearing masks, with him behind me with his arms wrapped around me. I placed the frame I was holding on the other side of the photo of us.
> 
> “I didn’t know you had that here…” I mumbled as he placed an arm around my hips. 
> 
> “Well I had a copy made… I wanted you here with me.” He explained as I glanced at him to see him smiling at the three photos. After taking another moment to stare at the photos, I walked back around the desk to face him head on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's going to be angst city here for a while. Happy Three Kings day!

Kakashi held onto my hand and gripped tightly before placing a kiss onto my forehead. He stood up straight as I laid on the examination table and he started tapping his foot. Lady Tsunade finally came into the room and closed the door behind her. “Right. Ok, you’re 20 weeks along, and so far no symptoms?” She questioned while looking at the chart.

“Just normal swelling, back pain, that kind of thing…” I shrugged as she came around and stood in front of the ultrasound machine. She smirked at something she read in the chart.

“So I see Kakashi is being kept happy.” She teased.

“Why is she saying it like that?” He questioned, wide eyed.

“I have to write everything down symptom wise… I’m sorry…” I ran my hand up and down his bicep, trying my best to comfort him despite feeling him tense up below my hand. “Why don’t we move along?” I asked Lady Fifth as I lifted my Hatake clan sweatshirt. Lady Tsunade let out a single chuckle before nodding as she squeezed the cold gel onto my lower stomach before placing the ultrasound wand and began taking measurements.

“Do you want to know the sex?” The fifth Hokage asked.

“No!” We both snapped. Oops.

“No… We want it to be a surprise…” Kakashi clarified calmly while Lady Tsunade let out a ‘hmph’ before smiling. After she took a few more measurements, she showed us the first twin. Kakashi held my hand clasped between his two as he watched the screen closely as Lady Fifth explained what we were to be looking at. His mouth was open slightly in a smile under his mask and his eyes were gleaming with joy as his grip on my hand tightened. The fifth Hokage moved to the second and did the same before printing out a couple photos for us both. Lady Tsunade handed me a cloth and left us both alone, and I used the cloth to wipe the gel off of my stomach.

“We can stop on the way to get a frame so you can keep them in your office.” I suggested as I lowered my sweatshirt. He shot me his closed eyed smile as he helped me up.

“I’d like that.” He responded while lowering his mask to then kiss my cheek. After raising his mask again he tucked away the photos into one of his pockets before taking my hand and walking out of the hospital with me. We made our way to the hokage tower, but not before making a pit stop to get two frames. Once we got to his office, we each put in one of the photos into the frame we were holding.

“Where should I put it?” I questioned while holding up the frame and smiling at him.

“Right here.” He motioned as I saw him place down the one he had next to another photo in a frame. I walked around the desk to stand beside him and saw that the photo was the one of the both of us, smiling, wearing masks, with him behind me with his arms wrapped around me. I placed the frame I was holding on the other side of the photo of us.

“I didn’t know you had that here…” I mumbled as he placed an arm around my hips. 

“Well I had a copy made… I wanted you here with me.” He explained as I glanced at him to see him smiling at the three photos. After taking another moment to stare at the photos, I walked back around the desk to face him head on.

“So now that we’re officially at your office…” I placed both my palms on his desk and leaned forward looking him dead in the eye. “I want to be put on a mission.” I used my best emotionless voice as I watched his eyes grow wide before he quickly went to then compose himself.

“No.” He spoke calmly before starting up some paperwork, as if to dismiss me. I slammed my hand down onto the paper he was about to stamp.

“I  **need** a mission. Something. I’ll take a C rank mission even. Anything. Tenzo can come with me, it’s fine.” I shrugged while keeping a straight face. He put the pen down and capped it before looking up at me with his hands folded resting on the desk and a face as equally as straight as mine.

“Do you know how many C rank missions I went on with team 7, only to have them turn into A rank missions?” He countered. I sighed starting to grow desperate.

“Then a D rank.” I muttered under my breath while folding my arms under my chest.

“You’re 20 weeks pregnant Kessho. That’s a  **no** .” He picked up his pen again to return to his paperwork, trying to dismiss me again, but instead I pulled up a chair and sat down. My face fell to my hands and pulled as I looked back up, after which I laced my fingers together and rested my elbows on my thighs and my chin on my fingers while looking up at him.

“I  **need** something to do Kakashi. I feel myself dulling and withering away here.” I tried my best to reason while clenching my jaw, trying my best to stay calm. He sighed as he put down his pen and his eyes met mine, half lidded and lazy now.

“Didn’t Ino ask you for help with some of the stuff for the sensory barrier?” He questioned in a lazy tone, as if I had plenty to do.

“That’s already been taken care of.” I answered while ruffling through one of the stacks of papers as I recognized an edge peeking out to be my handwriting. When I pulled it out, I saw it was the report for the sensory barrier plans and handed it to him. He gave a once over and put it down before him.

“Why don’t you take a few shifts at the hospital?” He suggested, but I shook my head.

“It’s slow there lately, and you and I both know those aren’t the skills that I’m talking about.” I clenched my jaw tighter as I started to feel angry. He sighed and leaned back in his chair as he looked around the room, as if looking for something for me to do. His eyes rested on the new small crib we had settled on for his office that was still in its box leaning up against the far wall.

“What about the baby room?” He asked, starting to sound desperate as he sat back up in his chair, clenching tightly at the arm rests.

“All the furniture is set up and there’s hardly a rush on that…” I told him as I stared him down.

“Kessho, you’re 20 weeks pregnant-“ He repeated but I interrupted.

“And that’s why I want to go now!” I shouted at him while planting my hands on his desk and jolting up as the chair skidded back behind me. “That’s why I  **need** to go now.” I insisted. He hesitated for a moment while he tried to find the words as he lowered his mask and I saw the corners of his mouth turn into a frown.

“Kessho…” He spoke softly and quietly while reaching out to place his hand on mine. “You’re about to be a mother-” I flinched back at his words as my breathing quickened and I clenched my jaw tightly. My brows furrowed and I tried my best to fight back tears while he studied my reactions closely as he stood up.

“THAT!” I yelled and took a deep breath. “That is not the only thing I am… But that’s all you see me as now, right?” I let out a sick chuckle before pursing my lips as he started to walk around his desk. “That’s-“ He tried to reach out for my hand again but I flinched and took a step back. “Don’t touch me!” I shouted as he kept trying to reach out to me slowly.

“Kessho that’s not what I meant and-“

“Oh I know exactly what you meant.” I remarked bitterly. “You and I both know-“ I stumbled while taking another step back, trying to get away from him but he caught me by my hand before I fell which I promptly snapped away when I regained footing. I started to walk around behind his desk, trying to create some distance between us. “You and I both know I’m more than that. You and I both know what I was made to be. Dammit Kakashi!” I slammed my fist down onto his desk, holding back to not break it, but I did unintentionally leave a dent. Kakashi flinched before he hung his head, held his bicep and shrugged.

“Kessho… I can’t-“

“Can’t?” I asked through gritted teeth and he turned to look at me with a deep sadness in his eyes. “Or won’t?” His shoulders slumped and that’s the only answer I needed. I walked around the desk and opened the door, stopping in the doorway, and looking over my shoulder to see him still facing away. “If you have a lot of paperwork to do tonight… You should finish it…” I urged before stepping out and slamming the door behind me. I started to walk out of the building and I could feel my blood boiling as I clenched and unclenched my fists debating on what to do. “Yamato!” I shouted to feel a hand be placed onto my shoulder and I used the flying raijin to teleport us back to my house. There, I ran into the bedroom and searched around for some workout gear to wear that might fit… Or at least one that I could push underneath my belly. I put on some compression pants and a t-shirt whose sleeves I rolled up. I then grabbed bandages and started to wrap my hands.

“What happened?” Tenzo questioned wearily as I saw him approach in my periphery while I moved to wrap my left hand.

“Don’t want to talk about it.” I answered curtly.

“Mhmm, yup, ok. So what are we going to do exactly…?” He questioned cautiously as I walked over to sit on the bed to start wrapping my feet.

“Your job is to help me, right?” I questioned plainly while still wrapping my feet and clenching my jaw.

“Yes…” He answered fully knowing he wasn’t going to enjoy what I was about to say next, so I needed to come up with something good. I finished wrapping my feet and clenched onto my knees as I sat at the edge of the bed.

“Either we’re going to spar, or I’m going to deforest Konoha until I end up with chakra exhaustion. Your choice.” I stated before getting up and tossing him the bandages.

“We can’t spar!” He shouted while I watched the blood drain from his face.

“Chakra exhaustion it is.” I nodded before walking towards the front door.

“Wait!” He cried out desperately. “I can’t hit you!” He argued.

“Wrong. You can hit me, just not in the stomach. Limbs and face are fine to hit.” I answered while walking backwards and pointing. He was scrambling and I sighed while folding my arms underneath my chest and clenching my jaw tightly as I looked out the window to the cherry blossom tree.

“Ca-can’t we just talk about this?” He asked while fidgeting around and donning a nervous smile.

“No.” I answered while shaking my head as I approached him. “You see, right now, I don’t want to feel anything. But I promised a friend that I wouldn’t go back to the dark place to where I feel nothing and disassociate. So instead, I’m going to go punch the shit out of things. If you get in my way, or try to stop me, you will be one of the things I punch.” I clarified as I poked his shoulder and his eyes grew wide. “And I won’t hold back either. I’m not in the mood to hold back right now.” I told him before turning around and walking to the front door again.

“Surely there must be something else you can do instead that doesn’t involve hurting me, or you getting that exhausted, or hurting yourself…” He chuckled nervously and his voice was shaky as I sat on the floor, trying to put on my shinobi rock climbing shoes. It felt so good to be wearing them again…

“There is but… I can’t… I won’t…” I shook my head as I lined up the bottom of my feet together, stretching my inner thighs.

“Surely, it’s better than this…” He insisted.

“It’s not.” I answered while looking over my shoulder as they slumped to see him now walking over to me and crouching beside me.

“What is it?” He asked with his voice no longer shaky and his head tilted to the side as his eyes searched mine.

“Running away.” I answered before placing both palms onto the cubby holding mine and Kakashi’s shoes to help myself up.

“Surely you can’t mean-“

“Yup. Packing my shit up and running away. Just getting the fuck out of here, and never looking back. Maybe allying myself to some other nation who will use my talents to their fullest extent.” I told him while turning to face him and seeing how pale he had grown and how those already big eyes of his were bulging out. “I haven’t thought about doing this since I… Well… Since I first moved here. I used to think about doing it all the time.” I admitted while fiddling with the ring on my ring finger and staring straight back to a now fidgetless Tenzo. I almost wondered if he was still listening. “I thought about it briefly for a few moments after I lost…” I trailed off with my eyes now drifting to the ring. “But it was never as strong or intense then as it was at the beginning of my moving here.” I answered while shaking my head before looking back at Tenzo’s eyes. “Surely you understand to a certain extent, right?” I questioned and his mouth opened slightly as he took a step back. “Imagine someone telling you, that you can’t use your mokutone. Something you were made for… Trained into use… Something that is a part of who you are-“

“I’ll help.” He answered with placing a hand onto my shoulder.

“If you hold back, I’m going off to punch trees.” I warned with my brows raised and he nodded.

“You’ll need to cover up any bruises, and if you’re seriously hurt, then you need to stop. Kakashi can never know about this.” He warned sternly before taking a gulp as I nodded. “I can’t believe I’m fucking doing this.” He shook his head as he started to wrap his hands with bandages. I let out a sigh of relief before jumping in place, waiting for him to ready himself up.


	8. Couch!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:  
> Tenzo threw a punch to hit me in the face at full force but I didn’t dodge it and I didn’t block it. Instead I let it hit me. I need to know I could be… I needed to know I could still feel pain… That I could still feel alive.
> 
> “If you’re just going to stand there and let me punch you I won’t do it.” He whined while lowering his defensive stance. I smiled as I could taste a little blood coming from the inside of my cheek. He punches hard… This is great, exactly what I need.
> 
> “You talk too much.” I told him as my smile turned into a grin and I lunged at him with a barrage of kicks.

Tenzo threw a punch to hit me in the face at full force but I didn’t dodge it and I didn’t block it. Instead I let it hit me. I need to know I could be… I needed to know I could still feel pain… That I could still feel alive.

“If you’re just going to stand there and let me punch you I won’t do it.” He whined while lowering his defensive stance. I smiled as I could taste a little blood coming from the inside of my cheek. He punches hard… This is great, exactly what I need.

“You talk too much.” I told him as my smile turned into a grin and I lunged at him with a barrage of kicks. He blocked most of them but I was able to graze his thigh as he lunged forward himself with a counter on one occasion and I landed another right to his face as he blocked the fake that was aimed for his gut. I certainly have gotten quicker over the years… Thankfully. He lunged again at the new found opening, aiming for a kick to my back, so I punched his face only to have him block it. We continued on with him landing a few blows, mostly from me losing balance or other annoying pregnancy reasons. I mostly landed some punches and kicks on him, knocking him down a few times. He was holding back some, but not in a way that was unreasonable, so I kept going. I kept going until my limbs were good and bruised, along with a nice bruise that was going to form right at my cheekbone. We kept on until we were good and tired just as night started to fall.

“We should start heading back.” He suggested and I agreed with a nod, not being able to say anything due to being out of breath. I felt so much better though. Finally… Some action. Once we started making our way, I put the hem of the sweat drenched shirt between my lips, and my hands onto my stomach to use my medical ninjutsu to feel the two babies in my belly. Completely fine, in fact, I just now noticed they had been kicking along… My two little shinobi... I smiled with the hem of the shirt still in my mouth to see Tenzo looking at my stomach. “Does it hurt?” He asked while hunched over watching closely at my stomach, and I dropped the shirt from my mouth.

“Only sometimes, like when they kick at something they shouldn’t. Even then it’s not really painful… More like a pressure. It is weird though. Do you want to feel?” I asked and his exhausted face lit up with a smile as we both stopped. I lifted up the shirt again and took his hand, placing it on where I felt the kicking. He flinched away at first with wide eyes, but then felt down again with his calloused hands. “Tenzo, you know at this point… You’re like one of my closest friends, right?” I wondered aloud as he felt the slight pressure pushing outwards gently. He looked up at me with his brows pushed together, almost like he was confused… Or in disbelief… “I wouldn’t have told just anyone what I told you earlier Tenzo.” I placed my hand on his back, just below his neck. “I trust you.” I gave him a tight lipped smile as my eyes welled up. Fucking hormones. He smiled back as he straightened up and we continued walking back to my home.

* * *

I grabbed the ice as Tenzo came into the bathroom with Kakashi’s swimsuit on. “You sure he won’t notice it was used…?” He asked as he hesitated while looking at it.

“You’re already wearing it, it’s too late now.” I replied while pouring the ice into the tub and starting up the water.

“And you’re sure you can get into the ice bath while pregnant?” He asked while fiddling with the drawstring of the swim trunks.

“Yes.” I told him while reaching into the medicine cabinet and pulling out a thermometer. “I just have to watch my temperature and make sure it doesn’t go below 35 degrees Celsius.” I explained while putting the thermometer below my tongue as I shut off the water.

“And you’re sure we both fit…? Without it being awkward…?” He questioned that one again for the third time.

“Yes. You at one end and me at the other.” I told him while getting in and curling up with my arms around my knees. When he got in, he did the same and our legs floated in front of each other, occasionally touching in the, quite literally, ice cold water. Oddly enough, once he got in, his muscles relaxed… Very briefly before tightening again from the cold water.

“There’s something I want to ask you…” His tone now was serious and not his flustered goodboy voice. I tilted my head to the side and motioned my hand in circles for him to continue. “Were you serious earlier… About leaving…?” I rolled the thermometer in my mouth while I fiddled with my ring.

“Part of me… The part that’s the ninja that doesn’t exist…” I felt a lump growing in my throat as I looked down to my stomach. I took another moment to myself before answering while continuing to fidget away. Surely he’s more Kakashi’s friend than he is mine, right? I mean they had known each other for years, even if they had grown distant some since Kakashi left the Anbu. Kakashi clearly still trusts him a great deal, which is why he was given the assignment… Which means anything I tell him he’ll tell Kakashi if it seems too extreme or too important… Or if it benefits Kakashi more than it does me or anything else of the sort for that matter. So if I admit anything troubling to him… I need to present it as a problem that’s been solved. Which it has anyways. Right…? “That part wants to and was very serious… But that’s just one part of me.” I shook my head before looking up at a worried Tenzo. “And I worked it out. That’s why I sparred with you, I just needed to get this out of my system.” I insisted to myself probably more than I did to him. I took the thermometer out of my mouth to check my temperature. 36.4 degrees, still ok so I put the thermometer back under my tongue.

“But it’s more than that. Isn’t it…?” He asked while searching for my gaze again while I rested my arms on the outside of the edge of the tub. “What if he can’t think clearly about you as a shinobi…? What if it’s always like this?” I gripped tightly at the edge of the bathtub as my thoughts raced at the possibility. The fight or flight instinct was kicking in and the fight was all worn out as the flight started to want to take over. I looked down at feeling some flutters in my stomach and my grip relaxed. Flight won’t take over… Not yet at least…

“I don’t know, Tenzo… But for now… I’m here.” I whispered. “I never thought I’d have this chance… To have a family, to have friends… Kakashi said something once that rang so true to me when he said it: Sometimes I forget you didn’t choose to be alone.” I told him as I turned my gaze to him. It felt like the floodgates opened and I just wanted to tell him everything… “You and me…” I used my forefinger to motion between us. “We were made to be alone, Tenzo. Working in the shadows, with nobody knowing who we are ever.” I gave him a half smile. “And the fucked up thing is…” I chuckled while resting my head back against the edge of the tub. “They were so good at it, that we grew to like it… Love it even. Sure there are times I resent what they made me, all the terrible things I’ve done…” I shuddered but I couldn’t tell if it was from the cold or the dark thoughts that were trying to snake their way in. “But there’s something exhilarating about the rush of power after taking down your enemies, completing the mission, running through the trees and feeling the wind against your skin, the ability to escape and be someone else, doing things that you know you’re the only one who can do them, that they need  _ you _ and it  **has** to be you…” I moved my gaze to him and I realized I was smiling, and so was he… Because he knew exactly what I was talking about. “I’m not ready to let that go, Tenzo. I don’t know if I ever will be.” I finished with a sigh as I took another look at the thermometer, 35.8 degrees… Time to get out. I stepped out of the bathtub and grabbed a towel to dry myself off as I shivered. “I’ll be right back, I’m going to get into something warm.” I informed as I left to the bedroom. As I reached the dresser, I took off the bathing suit I was wearing and slipped into some of Kakashi’s sweatpants and one of his sweatshirts. I grabbed onto a hand mirror and some concealer along with blush and contour to bring with me into the bathroom. I sat down on the bathroom floor with my things, next to the tub, facing Tenzo to start covering up the bruise that was starting to form on my cheek with concealer.

“So earlier… You also mentioned that there was something you lost, but you trailed off… What did you lose?” I stopped looking into the hand mirror to look up at Tenzo to see his head tilted to the side and those big eyes of his watching me closely.

“He never told you?” I wondered as I waited for his reaction, only to see his brows furrow in confusion. “Hmph… Of course he wouldn’t.” I remarked as I turned my eyes back to the hand mirror, carefully watching the bruise and delicately layering on the concealer. “Kakashi may be overbearing, but it’s not without reason. This isn’t the first time I’ve been pregnant before.” I glanced up to see his eyes grow wide as he sank further into the tub. “We lost the baby and that window… The cherry blossom tree in the view of it… There was no body to bury, so I planted it… Anyways, the loss… It broke us.” I patted down on the concealer, trying to blend the edges into the rest of my skin. “That’s why you were assigned to me Tenzo. He believes, illogically, that somehow my being constantly monitored will help prevent the loss.”

“I’m really sorry… I had no idea…” He spoke gently.

“It’s fine. Really.” I shrugged as I teared up because of the stupid hormones.

“I want you to know… I understand.” He mentioned and I put down the hand mirror to look at him as he donned a sympathetic smile. “I mean, I don’t understand losing a child, but the rest of it…” He clarified a little flustered and embarrassed as he shook his hands in front of him while splashing the water around. “I understand not wanting to give it up… But you have this wonderful life… With a family… And friends… And students who look up to you…” He trailed off almost sounding… envious? As he rested his head against the edge of the tub.

“So do you.” I stated matter-of-factly while putting down the concealer and the hand mirror, and his head snapped up to me with his brows furrowed again in confusion. “Tenzo, at this rate you’ll pretty much be an uncle to these two. Plus, you have students, and friends too…” I told him while rubbing my stomach and I watched his brows unfurrow as he smiled. I pushed up on the ground to get off the floor as I handed him the towel. “You should probably get out.” I urged before he got out and dried himself off. I went into the bedroom to grab another pair of Kakashi’s sweat pants and another sweatshirt to hand to him. After tossing him the clothes I closed the bathroom door. “Futon, or couch?” I questioned.

“Couch!” I heard him call out from behind the door. Walking over to the linen closet, I grabbed a pillow and a blanket to place onto the couch for Tenzo. When I heard the door open I turned to see him in the kitchen.

“Oh I was going to start dinner next.” I told him while rushing into the kitchen.

“You’re exhausted. Please, let me do this.” He insisted as I fiddled with my hair, hesitating. “Think of it as part of my mission to help you. Besides… I didn’t get nearly as exhausted as you…” He urged as I nodded and walked into the bathroom to pick up the makeup and my mirror to put back on the vanity. “Honestly you lasted a lot longer than I thought you would given your pregnancy.” He called out from the kitchen.

“Honestly I surprised myself even.” I remarked as I grabbed one of my books to read before moving to the couch. When Tenzo was done cooking (he made ramen), we both ate and I headed off into my bedroom closing the door behind me, feeling exhausted.

“Boss sent us here, telling us to come sleep on the bed.” I turned to see Pakkun and the rest of Kakashi’s ninken on the bed waiting. I raised my eyebrow in skepticism… Well at least he knows he’s fucked up. “I know. We were just as surprised as you were.” I sighed before crawling into bed and falling asleep, cuddling with Kakashi’s ninken and Kiki.


	9. Me? Selfish?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:  
> Kakashi spent four nights at the office before coming home to sleep again. I had just finished making dinner, and Tenzo excused himself… Or rather Kakashi dismissed him to ensure we could be left alone. We ate dinner in silence, did the dishes and dried them in silence, and sat on opposite ends of the couch for a while… In silence.
> 
> “Can we talk?” He asked, finally breaking the tension, while placing one leg onto the couch to face me.
> 
> “We can, though I’m not sure it’ll change anything.” I mentioned while resting one arm on the arm rest while the other grabbed at my bicep, reaching underneath my chest as I looked out the window.
> 
> “Kessho. Look at me.” He ordered with a stern tone, but that only angered me more. More orders coming from him… Because that will help things. “Please.” He pleaded now sounding like he was disarming himself some, so I turned my head to face him. “What do you want from me?” He questioned, his face was keeping his emotions hidden, but there was a slight sadness in his tone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So potential TW***  
> They hate fuck. She cries after, but its about emotions from it and hormones. In no way was this nonconsensual.

Kakashi spent four nights at the office before coming home to sleep again. I had just finished making dinner, and Tenzo excused himself… Or rather Kakashi dismissed him to ensure we could be left alone. We ate dinner in silence, did the dishes and dried them in silence, and sat on opposite ends of the couch for a while… In silence.

“Can we talk?” He asked, finally breaking the tension, while placing one leg onto the couch to face me.

“We can, though I’m not sure it’ll change anything.” I mentioned while resting one arm on the arm rest while the other grabbed at my bicep, reaching underneath my chest as I looked out the window.

“Kessho. Look at me.” He ordered with a stern tone, but that only angered me more. More orders coming from him… Because that will help things. “Please.” He pleaded now sounding like he was disarming himself some, so I turned my head to face him. “What do you want from me?” He questioned, his face was keeping his emotions hidden, but there was a slight sadness in his tone.

“You know what I want.” I answered to then turn my face to look back out the window. Staring at the cherry blossom tree is the only thing keeping me from raging at this point. I gripped tighter at my bicep as I saw his jaw clench in my periphery. Normally I’d be a lot better at being calm but… Hormones probably…

“Kessho you’re pregnant. I’m  **not** sending you out on a mission. Get that out of your head, right now.” He ordered again, this time with an angry tone as I refused to look at him. More orders, which only made me grip tighter at my bicep and I started to grit my teeth. “What else do you want from me?” He asked after taking a deep breath.

“Alright.” I spat as I turned my head to face him, still keeping my body away from his. “Tell me this then.” It was my turn to make orders now. “Are you planning on assigning me missions after I give birth?” I questioned while studying him closely. He had armed himself again at one point while I looked away and his face was stonewalled. He simply stayed quiet… “I’ll take that silence as a no.” I sneered before turning back to the window, trying to center myself and contain my anger.

“Who would watch the kids then?” He argued and I couldn’t help but scoff at his remark as I looked to his face in utter disbelief at his commentary.

“Last time  **I** was the one to ask that question and  _ your _ answer was we could hire some  help , that we would figure it out.” I fumed. “The only difference this time is that you’re Hokage and you control my assignments, so now instead of someone else assigning me, it’s you refusing to assign me.” I ranted with narrow eyes and clenching so tightly at my bicep that I was sure I would leave a bruise. It was his turn to look away while he raised his mask… Which truly wasn’t fair… Trying to hide himself from me like that, using it to his advantage in the dim lighting considering we only had the kitchen light on in here… It was going to make his face that much harder to read, and he knew it too. The bastard.

“You’re being awfully selfish.” He remarked while I couldn’t help but scoff myself as I got up off of the couch.

“Me? Selfish?” I snorted as I pressed my fingertips to my chest while standing in front of where his gaze had gone but at a distance.

“Yes Kessho. Selfish.” He clarified as if it was obvious as I rolled my eyes.

“Ok. Please, enlighten me.” I motioned for him to continue. “How am I being selfish?”

“Alright.” He stood up and crossed his arms against his chest. Those… Strong arms… Attached to the man that was managing to piss me off more each second. “You’re putting yourself before our children, Kessho. Of course you’re being selfish.” He answered again with that ‘it’s so obvious’ tone. Fucking arrogance of this man.

“And what about you?” I retorted between gritted teeth. “Hmm?”

“Me?” He gestured to himself with lazy, half lidded eyes as if he had nothing to worry about because he was guilty of nothing.

“Yes you.” I hissed back.

“What have I done that was selfish?” He questioned with a raised brow.

“You mean apart from telling me that you were taking the position of Hokage only after plans had already been placed in motion?” I sneered as his eyes widened for a brief moment before he composed his face again to give nothing away. “You never even bothered to ask me how I felt about it. We never discussed it either. Was I not your wife by then?” I knew I had him there and he did too, but the silence further confirmed it as he clenched tightly and defensively as I cocked my hip and folded my arms under my chest. “When you told me, the only thing I did was ask if that’s what you truly wanted; when you said yes, I did nothing but support you. When you felt the need to have me constantly watched because I was pregnant I went along with it. But yes… Please… Continue to tell me how  _ I’m  _ the one that’s being selfish.” I snapped, as I was fully pissed off now. He breathed in deeply as he looked away before turning to me; my eyes that were surely boring into his.

“What do you want from me?” He asked again before returning to clenching his jaw.

“I want you to treat me like the fine ass shinobi I am, dammit!” I shouted while flinging my arm out before returning it to its place under my chest.

“I do!” He countered.

“How?! By not assigning me missions?!” I yelled.

“Dammit Kessho!” He started to shout now too, which he’s only done once when I refused to take his orders on a mission where he was my captain. “You’re so fucking stubborn!” He started to take a few steps to face away.

“And the sky is blue, the grass is green, and my belly is this big because I’m pregnant! Anything else obvious we should point out?!” I yelled, fully giving into my rage.

“I never said I wouldn’t assign you missions afterwards.” He countered in a normal tone while looking over his shoulder.

“That’s not good enough Kakashi!” I shouted with my arms flailing before I placed them on my hips. “I need your word, as a shinobi, because it seems I can’t trust my husband to be impartial with something like that.” I sneered, but he simply looked to the front of him, facing away and going silent again. “Your silence is enough to say you won’t assign me missions afterwards.” He rushed up to me, getting close into my space pointing at me with one hand while his other lowered his mask.

“I want you to see my lips when I say this.” He warned behind gritted teeth. “Don’t you fucking dare put words in my mouth.” He gripped at my bicep tightly with his… strong hand… and tense, toned arm… Those dark angry eyes… That strong clenched jaw…

“Or what?” I dared. Wait why did I say that? He’s so close and I’m so… His lips tight but… His eyes were looking at me the way I was looking at him, so I flew one arm around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. My lips pressed against his tight ones, that slowly loosened. Abruptly he pushed away just enough to break the kiss without moving out of my space while still gripping tightly at my bicep. His brows were furrowed as his eyes darted between mine as my hand laced into his hair to hold a firm grip. He inched in a little closer as his hot breath blew onto my parted lips, his eyes now staring at those very lips while his free hand went to undo my hair that was in a bun. As my locks fell, that hand drifted into my hair, grabbing hold as equally tight. He yanked at my hair to expose my neck, where he bit down. Hard. Releasing some of that tension and frustration we both felt. My free hand went around his upper back to press his chest against mine. He started to suck and a grunt escaped between my clenched teeth. I pushed away at him abruptly to start to undo his flak jacket as he hastily moved to remove my obi as we both let out frustrated heavy breaths while we undressed each other. Once I got him to his underwear, and him me, I hooked my leg around to bend his knee from behind to lower his shoulder to where I could reach so I could bite into him. As his yelp turned into a growl, I reached around to his back and started to claw into it, where I was sure I broke some skin along the way. He grabbed at both of my thighs to lift me up as I continued to suck on his shoulder.

He dropped me onto the bed once I released my grip on his neck to then shove his arms underneath my back to undo my bra. One of my hands went to lock into his hair with a firm grip as the other teased, running fingertips along his back at where I broke skin. I could see his jaw clenching and unclenching as he watched me, teasing his fingertip along my nipple before moving to tease by grazing his teeth against it. Once he started to suck I fisted at his hair while my other hand clawed at his back again, breaking skin along the way, and my legs wrapped around his hips. I could feel him starting to harden against me, but with the hormones and pent up frustration, I knew I was already fully wet. I moved my hand on his back, further down his waist to grip at him, flip him over, and move up only to remember I was still wearing my lace panties. Fuck. My core was hovering above his face and he ripped them apart at the seams before wrapping his arms around my thighs and delving in. I grabbed a fistful of hair and used my other hand to grab both of his wrists and pin them down above his head.

His tongue went in circles around my clit before he started to suck down. “Ahh-That’s right. Fuck me.” I demanded between moans. I could feel a slight smirk of his lips against my lower one as he flicked my bundle of nerves while sucking down. I gripped tighter at his wrists as I felt my heat grow along with the struggle against my grip. I started to push his face further into me by the hold I had into his hair, searching for frustration to be released. As I started to grow close and my moans grew louder, my grip around his wrists loosened. His hands broke free and he started to sit up as his arms went around my back to cradle me as I fell onto my back. He quickly scooched me to the side and got up off of the bed.

He pulled me so my head was now hanging off of the bed and he slid off his pants as this all happened in the blink of an eye. Suddenly before my lips was his fully hardened girth and automatically my mouth opened in shock at the swiftness of it all. “You want me to fuck you?” He growled before shoving himself into my mouth. He placed both his hands on either side of my face to grip on as I gripped tightly down at his calves. “I’ll fuck you.” He groaned as he started to thrust into my throat. The angle he was at made it feel like he was pushing up at my neck, almost as if his length was trying to escape. His girth must’ve been protruding some as I felt his hand smooth over where I could feel the tip pushing up and out at. While his pace quickened, the hand around my neck squeezed as his other went to squeeze my nipple. I clawed at his calves tightly, making sure to break skin there as I could quite literally feel him trying to fuck the anger away. Just when I had had about enough, I let go of one of his calves with my hand to ball my hand into a fist. I moved my other hand from his calf to his hip, and the fisted hand went to hit his inner calf, making his leg skid to the side, the other bend to compensate, his grip to loosen, and his dick to slide out some. With my hand gripped onto his hip, I pushed him back and broke myself away to quickly get up. I turned around kneeling before him on the bed, meeting him at his eye level now and slapped his face. Hard.

His brows furrowed and his jaw clenched as he studied me while I continued to breath with labored breaths. He slapped my face just as hard before grabbing a fistful of my hair and smashing his lips against mine. I leaned in for a brief moment before pushing him away again to slap his face in frustration. All of it felt so wrong… But so good… And I couldn’t bring myself to stop any of what was happening. He grabbed my biceps to turn me around and throw me back down to the bed while grabbing my hips and pulling me back and up to then shove his girth into me with a hard, forceful thrust. “Fuuuuuck…” I groaned. He leaned over my back while pushing my face into the bed.

“You love it when I fuck you rough, don’t you?” He growled. I peered at him from the corner of my eye with gritted teeth.

“Shut up and do it.” I demanded and he straightened up to then slam a bruising hand onto one of my lower cheeks.

“Fine.” He huffed behind gritted teeth as he started to thrust in and out forcefully. “Then take it.” His hand that wasn’t pressing my face into the bed gripped at my hip as he continued slamming into me. I reached one hand around underneath to play with my clit, rubbing it in circles as he continued to thrust away. “Always. So. Eager.” He commented between thrusts as I started to rub faster while moans escaped. His pace grew quicker but still continued to thrust just as hard as I grew lightheaded. His groans and grunts were louder than I had ever heard them before while he kept going in deep and hard as I started to feel my muscles tighten. As we grew close my moans turned to whimpers, growing desperate to be released from this frustration. His pace quickened as he was close too and was starting to trade strength of the thrusts for speed. When we both reached our release, my walls clamped down as he gave his few final thrusts.

My whimpers turned to sobs as clarity started to seep in and I pulled myself away from him to crawl into a corner of the bed as he turned to sit at the edge. My hands were shaking at the realization of what we had just done. Why…? Why did we? I? Why did it feel so good in the moment and just end up as the shit show we’re now left with of fucked up emotions.

“You didn’t say pancakes.” He remarked with his face in his hands and his elbows resting on his knees.

“I didn’t want to say pancakes.” I told him when I finally calmed myself down and wiped the tears away. “We still shouldn’t have.” I commented.

“It was so wrong, but it felt so-“

“Good.” I finished with a whisper and he turned to face me while gripping at the edge of the bed. I started to get off of the bed to feel his hand on my shoulder which made me flinch. I quickly jolted off of the bed and spun to face him. “Don’t touch me.” I warned as I backed into the closet.

“Kessho-“

“Nothing’s changed Kakashi.” I warned as I reached over for some fuzzy pajamas that I used to wear in the winter before I met Kakashi and started stealing his clothes. For the top I just… Didn’t button at the belly, and the waistband I just left underneath. When I walked out Kakashi’s head was hung as he gripped tightly at the bed.

“What do you want from me?” He mumbled the same question that he somehow kept hoping if he asked it enough the answer would change… Maybe I can say it in a way that will make him understand finally.

“To let me be myself!” I shouted. He looked up and his eyes searched mine as his grip loosened on the bed. After another moment his brows furrowed.

“I-I am.” He spoked sounding confused and his voice broken.

“Not my whole self!” I cried feeling so exasperated as I stomped a foot on the ground. He got up and went to the dresser to put on some sweatpants.

“I… I don’t know what to do here.” He admitted as he looked over his shoulder.

“Then there’s nothing more to say.” I whispered as I got into bed. When he turned around he hesitated, with his eyes drifting between the bedroom door and the bed. “You… You can sleep here. Just… Don’t touch me.” I instructed as I laid on my side and curled up underneath the blankets. He crawled up on the bed to lay on the opposite end, away from me.

“Have they been kicking lately?” He whispered. I took a deep breath and laid onto my back while pulling down the blankets to expose my stomach.

“They’re kicking right now if you want to feel. They seem to do it for quite a bit after we…” I commented and he rolled onto his side facing me to place one hand onto my stomach, feeling at the flutters I felt. After they died down, his hand lingered. “If you’re done, please take back your hand.” I pleaded. When his hand continued to linger after the flutters fully stopped, I rolled onto my side, facing away from him.

“That bruise on your hip… I didn’t give you that… How did you get it…?” He questioned with a stern tone. I didn’t have to look at the bruise to know it was Tenzo’s but I looked at it anyways to feign not knowing it was there.

“I don’t know… Must have been me running into something.” Yeah, me running into Tenzo’s foot. “I’ll have Lady Tsunade check my iron levels next time I see her.” I responded with a slightly annoyed tone. I heard him move along the bed as I pulled the blankets back up over me.

“Sasuke’s trial will start soon. I’ll need you to come stop by with your statement in 3 days so I can go over it beforehand.” He spoke gently.

“Ok. I’ll be there.” I whispered before I started trying to will myself to sleep.


	10. Good boy Tenzo is actually… Naughty Boy Tenzo?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:  
> I woke up the next morning with my hand on my stomach and his hand on top of mine with his arm around me. I carefully tossed his arm back before sitting up on the bed, but I heard him stir behind me.
> 
> “Kessho?” He asked groggily.
> 
> “I asked you not to touch me.” I replied coldly before getting up and grabbing a sports bra, black sweatshirt with a red Konoha insignia, pregnancy pants, underwear, and some warm fuzzy socks.
> 
> “You’re acting like my touch makes your skin crawl…” He spoke just loud enough for me to hear from across the room. His words made me stop in the bedroom doorway, where I looked over my shoulder to see him sitting up on the bed elbow on his knee, hand in his hair, with his head hung. I gripped tight at the door frame while I contemplated his words… His touch did enrage me… Because he kept doing it in a way that made it feel like nothing was wrong… But there was. Something was so fundamentally wrong between us right now. I opted for silence instead as I made my way to the bathroom for a quick shower.

I woke up the next morning with my hand on my stomach and his hand on top of mine with his arm around me. I carefully tossed his arm back before sitting up on the bed, but I heard him stir behind me.

“Kessho?” He asked groggily.

“I asked you not to touch me.” I replied coldly before getting up and grabbing a sports bra, black sweatshirt with a red Konoha insignia, pregnancy pants, underwear, and some warm fuzzy socks.

“You’re acting like my touch makes your skin crawl…” He spoke just loud enough for me to hear from across the room. His words made me stop in the bedroom doorway, where I looked over my shoulder to see him sitting up on the bed elbow on his knee, hand in his hair, with his head hung. I gripped tight at the door frame while I contemplated his words… His touch did enrage me… Because he kept doing it in a way that made it feel like nothing was wrong… But there was. Something was so fundamentally wrong between us right now. I opted for silence instead as I made my way to the bathroom for a quick shower.

The steaming hot water ran down my aching back, helping loosen the tense muscles. I let down my hair to have it stick to my skin as it got wet. I closed my eyes enjoying the sound of the water hitting the tub floor as I washed my hair. I started to wash myself, taking my time as I did so. When I rinsed my hair, I closed my eyes again, just feeling the droplets of water trickle along my skin.

“Kessho!” I heard a knocking on the door as Kakashi called out. “Everything ok in there? It’s been a while.” He questioned with a concerned tone.

“I’m fine!” I shouted, now feeling annoyed, tense, and knots starting to form in my stomach. “Is Tenzo here yet?!” I called out but all I heard was silence.

“No… He should be here soon.” He finally answered as I turned off the water and started to dry myself off. I stepped out of the shower and got dressed before finally letting the steam out of the bathroom as I walked out. When I came out, I saw Tenzo walking in. “I made breakfast.” Kakashi stated quietly while in the kitchen, but more knots in my stomach formed as I smelled the food.

“Eggplant miso?” I questioned and he nodded before tilting his head to the side. “Eggplant has been making me nauseous.” I whispered while fiddling with my wedding ring. Kakashi planted his palms on either side of the bowl of soup he just served and closed his eyes and sighed.

“I-I didn’t know…” He mumbled. “I’m sorry…” He looked up over to me with sad eyes and I looked down to my hand where I continued to fiddle with my wedding ring. We all stood in silence and the tension in the room just grew so thick.

“Why don’t we go to the café?” Tenzo asked while placing a hand on the small of my back and started to usher me out while I nodded. We went to the café where I had tea with a couple eggs, but I was too in my own head to even notice what Tenzo ate…

“Do… Do you mind if we go to the cemetery?” I questioned while rubbing at my tense shoulder. Tenzo tilted his head to the side with a half smile.

“Yeah, sure. Why are you asking?” He wondered aloud.

“I just, I know you’re assigned to watch me, but we can do things you like too…” I tried my best to smile as my hands fell to my lap.

“It’s fine, some other time.” He smiled while standing up, to then hold out his hand for me. After I got up, I headed out to the cemetery and Tenzo waited by the entrance to give me some space as I headed to Asuma’s grave. When I reached his headstone, I carefully sat down onto the ground before it and smiled at the ashtray that was still there.

“Hey big bro…” I chuckled to myself while crinkling my nose at the nickname. “I’m sorry I haven’t been by… Honestly I felt a little guilty showing up because I haven’t been able to keep my promise and drink those three bottles of sake for you yet.” I giggled while smoothing a hand on my stomach. “I swear, I didn’t know I was pregnant then, otherwise I would’ve told you. You always did know more about me than even I did at times…” I trailed off while looking down at my stomach, feeling the nice warm sun on my face… It felt nice and warm out despite it still being winter… That kind of warm where it’s cold still, but you’ve been in the cold for so long that even the slightest bit of warmth makes all of the difference. “Things are bad…” I whispered as I felt a lump grow in my throat. “Kakashi became hokage… And while I support him… He… He doesn’t seem to support me.” I informed the ghost of Asuma whom I really hoped was listening in.

“He isn’t going to assign me anything after giving birth… He’s not letting me be me. I’m a shinobi, Asuma. I know you knew more than what I told you… Your assumptions about me were always pretty spot on though I never admitted, and I don’t want to stop. I can’t Asuma. I don’t need to go to the dark place to do those missions. There’s a certain… Adrenaline, rush, feeling alive, feeling like myself, feeling useful. I was this tool, carefully crafted for a purpose… Later on I found that this tool could also be used for other things… But I would always go back to the original purpose, and now I can’t. I’m not allowed…” I could feel the tears streaming now as I started to just lay down in front of the grave. “Kakashi is the first person who knew everything that wasn’t Hokage. Part of the reason I fell in love with him is because he accepted **all** of me… But now… It doesn’t feel that way. If he won’t let me be who I am…” I started tracing out the imprint of Asuma’s name on the tombstone as I spoke to him. “Maybe he doesn’t accept all of me… Maybe that’s why he won’t let me be that part of me… He doesn’t want me to be that person anymore… But I want to…” I trailed off and stayed quiet for a long time as I rested my head on the arm that wasn’t tracing along the gravestone. “I really need you right now…” I whispered while tears continued to flow and my hand went limp as I closed my eyes. My mind started to race at the idea of this man I loved… Who I thought wholly loved me… Might not actually love me like that…

“We should go get something to eat.” I heard Tenzo say and my eyes snapped open. How long had I been here? I sat up and took Tenzo’s hand to stand. “We can stop and get something on the way back.” He remarked as I nodded and let him lead the way. I started to look past things and my mind went more so into autopilot as I followed behind Tenzo. He sat me down on a bench somewhere while I awaited his return, staring at a far away trash can. Fitting that my eyes fixate on the thing I’m currently feeling like. “I didn’t give you that bruise.” Tenzo teased while looking at my neck and handing me ikayaki. I sat still holding the stick in my lap, staring at it as my stomach started to form into knots.

“It wasn’t a good thing…” I muttered under my breath before taking a bite.

“He didn’t hurt you, did he?!” He questioned in surprise. When my head snapped to his, I could see his eyes were wide as he misunderstood what I meant.

“No!” I shouted quickly while holding my hands up and shaking them from side to side while still holding my ikayaki in one of my hands. “It’s not like that…” I sighed to see him let out one in relief as our gaze each fell into our laps. “It just… It didn’t make anything better. If anything, it made things worse…” I explained before taking another bite of the ikayaki, chewing slowly as I thought about last night. Somehow I managed to swallow the food, despite the feeling of that giant lump in my throat. I couldn’t stomach anymore so I handed the stick of food to Tenzo, which he took and finished off himself. He placed a hand onto my upper back.

“Why don’t we get you home… You look exhausted.” He commented and I nodded and got up to have him walk me home. We walked side by side in a comfortable silence as my mind drifted and I stared at the dirt paths which led back to my home… My home that didn’t feel very… Homey, lately… Once we finally got back to my house and we walked in, I started to head for the bedroom only to stop in the doorway. I groaned at the new found kink in my neck. “Something the matter?” I turned to see Tenzo peeking from behind the book about architecture in Sunagakure that he had left on the coffee table a night ago. He had taken off his flak jacket and face protector as he usually does now that we’ve been spending so much time together. He’s finally starting to relax some around me. I grabbed at my bicep and leaned up against the doorway hesitating as he placed his book on his lap.

“I wouldn’t ask normally, Kakashi usually helps with this kind of thing but… Given how we’ve been fighting lately…” I trailed off as my mind raced again about the fight we had last night.

“What do you need?” He questioned, bringing me out of my thoughts.

“Would it be too much trouble to ask you…” I hesitated again as I stood up straight. “For a back massage?” I muttered almost hoping he didn’t hear so he could drop it. His eyes widened before he furrowed them and looked to the book on his lap. He then started to rub at the back of his neck and he was… Blushing slightly maybe? “I-I’m sorry I shouldn’t have asked, it’s the pregnancy, they’re so heavy it causes strain on my back and leads to back aches, plus the tension from the fights isn’t helping and like I said Kakashi is usually the one who helps out with this, but since we’re fighting-“

“Kessho!” He called out amidst my babbling to then start chuckling. “It’s fine. Really.” He gave me a small smile to then get up off the couch and place his book on the coffee table. I went over into the bathroom to pull out the lotion and walked out into the living room where he stood waiting. I handed him the lotion which he looked at with a confused face while I took off my sweatshirt.

“Have you given a massage before?” I questioned with a raised brow. He blushed a bright red. “Good. So if you didn’t do it with lotion then, I highly recommend doing so from now on. It’ll help smooth over the skin easier.” I clarified as he puckered his bottom lip and shook his head. I sat down cross legged with my back turned to him. When I heard him sit down behind me, I reached for the hem of my sports bra.

“Wha-what are you doing?!” He questioned sounding _very_ flustered as I removed my sports bra.

“This will just get in the way. It’s fine Tenzo.” I reassured while I crossed my arms over my chest to cover my breasts. “I trust you not to cop a feel.” I teased with a smile. A genuine one too… I could hear him grumbling as I heard the sound of the pumping from the lotion. He started at the middle of my back smoothing his hands over my back until he reached my shoulders. “Go hard. I prefer quite a bit of pressure.” I urged and felt him start to push further down into my muscles. He managed to find the kink that had just formed in my neck and I let out a happy hum as he worked on it. His deft fingers occasionally brushing away the baby hairs on the back of my neck, his delicate touch sending shivers down my spine. His hands felt rather nimble while he worked… I wonder just how many times he has done this… My, my… Could it be? Good boy Tenzo is actually… Naughty Boy Tenzo? I started snickering and felt him peer over my shoulder for a brief moment.

“What are you snickering about?” He wondered while he started to work on my lower back. Ooooo… That’s a good spot.

“Just… How you must have done this quite a few times… To be this good.” I clarified before chuckling and I looked over my shoulder to see his face turning a bright red.

“The lotion is a good suggestion.” He admitted under his breath as I turned my gaze back ahead. His hands started to hit just the right spot on my lower back and I let out a small moan while I arched my back some. “You’re really tense…” He remarked quietly. “Is it really that bad…?” He whispered. I hunched back over and my shoulders slumped.

“Yeah…” I whispered back as I felt a tear escape while I looked over my shoulder. His hands ran up my back and he gave my shoulders a reassuring rub before returning to the massage. He found a couple kinks as each shoulder blade as part of the consequence of sleeping on my sides constantly from this huge belly. Once he worked those two out, he smoothed over my back a few times, putting a nice, soothing, comforting, even pressure on my back. I finally felt relaxed for the first time in a while… He rubbed my biceps a few times, almost like he was trying to get off the excess lotion. I chuckled at the thought.

“Alright, that good?” He asked and I let out a happy hum.

“Yes. Thank you.” I told him as he walked around in front to hand me the lotion with a content smile on his face. “Are you trying to sneak a peek?” I questioned in a playful, teasing tone. The color in his skin drained and his eyes grew wide before he looked away to then turn positively red. I started to crack up as I put on my sports bra. “Just leave it on the coffee table for now, and lay down please.” I pleaded and he met my gaze with a raised brow. After a moment he shrugged and placed the lotion onto the coffee table to then lay down on the floor. I spun around and then rested my head onto his stomach while we both stared at the ceiling. “Thanks for giving me some space earlier at the cemetery.” I told him while I started to fiddle with my wedding ring.

“No problem. It looked like you could use it… So… What happened last night?” He wondered.

“We fought again, but it didn’t really go anywhere.” I let out a heavy sigh. “He called me a hypocrite.” I muttered.

“A hypocrite? Why?” He questioned with a tone of disbelief.

“He said that it’s because I’m putting my wants over the babies’ needs but he’s doing the same thing as Hokage!” I huffed.

“Didn’t you two discuss this beforehand?” He pondered.

“No. He didn’t even mention he was going to take the position until the whole thing was already set in motion. Would I have prevented him from becoming Hokage anyways? No. When He told me, all I did was ask him if that’s what he really wanted, and then I supported him.” I ranted as I took off my wedding ring and stared at it.

“That’s… Messed up.” Tenzo admitted. “He can be a little too… Focused on the job at hand sometimes… He’ll forget those around him, even if he is trying to protect his comrades, his focus is on just them being alive and well… Not so much the other things that come along with it.” He tried to explain to help me see Kakashi’s side of things, but I already knew this. What I needed was Kakashi to see my side of things.

“I get that about him… But I need him to see my side…” I trailed off into thought as I read the engravement on the ring: Love, Kakashi. Next thing I knew I was blinking away tears… Stupid hormones. “I have to write a statement to support Sasuke’s release.” I mentioned while putting on the ring, trying my best to change the subject.

“What are you going to say? Any ideas?”

“Well, him and Itachi are the reason why the reincarnation jutsu came undone. I’ll explain partly about that and…” I trailed off. I mean the whole reason Sasuke went off on this rage fueled journey was because his clan was murdered and he lost everything.

“And what?” He questioned after a moment. Where he went on the journey so he could be strong enough to kill Itachi.

“Shh! I’m thinking…” Only Itachi was innocent, and when he found out… He decided to gain power so he could then try to destroy the leaf… Because had Danzo never manipulated Itachi (which he rightfully did so in killing him and I could also argue that he did the village a favor given that he had ordered me to try to assassinate Lady Tsunade so he could permanently become Hokage) then this never would’ve happened in the first place. I’m sorry Itachi, but this is only going to be a special council… I pulled a senbon out of my hair and threw it at the ceiling, aiming for the center of the pith in one of the planks of wood. The village elders already know, Kakashi already knows, Sasuke already knows, the only people who would be finding out would be the jonin leader and the Anbu commander. I threw another senbon at the pith. Plus he did ask me to protect and help Sasuke…

“Why are you doing target practice?” Tenzo hastily asked with a slight nervousness to his tone. I’ll need the mission report in the library at the foundation…

“So you know the camouflage jutsu… Are you good at keeping quiet? Do you know any other jutsus to hide?” I started to interrogate as I pulled out more senbon, throwing them at the ceiling.

“Umm… I know the phasing through walls one… And I can keep pretty quiet… I assume you found me because of your sensory abilities and my staying stationary for those abilities to kick in, right?” He answered hesitantly.

“Yeah… Plus the mind reading… It’s kinda always on in the back of my head and the static from your mindblock was putting me on edge.” I explained.

“Why are you asking me this Kessho?” He questioned cautiously while knowing he wasn’t going to like the answer.

“I’m going to need to sneak into the foundation to prepare the report and I wanted to know if you’d be able to keep up.” I told him as calmly and nonchalantly as I could, but I could feel his body tense underneath my head.

“NO. NO, KESSHO!” He shouted in a warning tone.

“Relax, I’ve done it plenty of times before and I’ve never been caught. I know exactly where I need to go and I could do it in my sleep.” I reasoned while Tenzo took a deep breath before letting out an equally large sigh.

“Even if that’s true… Do you really think that’s wise given your fight with Kakashi…?” He wondered. I hadn’t thought about that aspect of it… I mean… I made a promise to Itachi… And although it might add more strain… It could show him how serious I am about this… And how he has nothing to worry about? Maybe even show him my side of things more, about how important this is to me. 

“Yes.” I answered. I might be trying to talk myself into it with shit that Kakashi won’t see or do, but I need to do this. Tenzo let out a groan… A groan so long that I wasn’t sure that it would end honestly.

“Fine.” He finally commented once the groan was over. “What’s the plan…?”

“It’ll be easier if I show you.” I remarked before reaching out blindly and placing my hand onto his cheek. Then I showed him all the different variants of the way I snuck into Danzo’s office via the infinite tsukuyomi.

“Alright that’s how we sneak in, but I assume that’s not where what you need is?” He questioned, so I showed him the couple times I’ve walked to the library that contained the mission files. When I was done, I just let my hand hang while keeping my arm splayed across his chest. “So those time’s you’re pressed pretty tightly up against the wall… But you also weren’t pregnant…” He remarked.

“Yeah I’m going to need you to show me that phasing jutsu.” I really should have known that one by now…

“It’s easy honestly. I’ll show you.” He replied and I could feel myself smiling. I was finally starting to feel like myself again…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't kidding about the visit to angst city.


	11. Like some fucking act

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:  
> “Has salmon been making you sick?” He grumbled with his gaze returning to the food. “I made it poached and only used salt and pepper.” He spoke with a much softer tone. He’s so thoughtful… But my stomach still feels so tense.
> 
> “I think I’m just going to go to bed…” I told him while getting up off of the ground and picking up the blanket along with my sweatshirt.
> 
> “Kessho…” He whispered, his voice sounding so soft and… Lost… “Could you please eat… If not for me, for them? Even if it’s just some rice.” He begged as I stared at him while walking closer. He had on his skintight shirt with the mask up, and his head hung, but his voice gave it all away… He felt broken.
> 
> “Ok.” I whispered. “I’ll try some of the salmon too. It’s only eggplants that were making me nauseous.” He looked up at me and I shot him a half smile. “Too many from cooking your favorite maybe.” He returned the half smile when his eyes met my face and he let out a ‘hmph’.
> 
> “Maybe.” He cooed before he started to serve dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys are enjoying your stay in angst city.

**CLANK!**

I woke up and scrambled to sit up. I must’ve fallen asleep with my head on Tenzo’s stomach… Where did this blanket come from? I looked to the green blanket with navy circles that had two lines poking out of those very circles that was now in my lap.

**CLANK!**

Tenzo shot up while I twisted to look behind me only to see Kakashi in the kitchen looking down at the food he was cooking. He didn’t seem to be in the best of moods as he grumbled around the kitchen, making noise as he went along, still facing away from the both of us. When Tenzo realized that Kakashi had come back, he rushed up quickly, got his things, and left out the door. At the sound of the door closing, Kakashi’s eyes finally left the food as he watched the door. His eyes then turned to me with his face in a frown.

“Has salmon been making you sick?” He grumbled with his gaze returning to the food. “I made it poached and only used salt and pepper.” He spoke with a much softer tone. He’s so thoughtful… But my stomach still feels so tense.

“I think I’m just going to go to bed…” I told him while getting up off of the ground and picking up the blanket along with my sweatshirt.

“Kessho…” He whispered, his voice sounding so soft and… Lost… “Could you please eat… If not for me, for them? Even if it’s just some rice.” He begged as I stared at him while walking closer. He had on his skintight shirt with the mask up, and his head hung, but his voice gave it all away… He felt broken.

“Ok.” I whispered. “I’ll try some of the salmon too. It’s only eggplants that were making me nauseous.” He looked up at me and I shot him a half smile. “Too many from cooking your favorite maybe.” He returned the half smile when his eyes met my face and he let out a ‘hmph’.

“Maybe.” He cooed before he started to serve dinner. I went to the bedroom to put away the blanket and changed out the pants for the sweatshirt, letting my hair loose as it had mostly come undone while putting the sweatshirt back on. When I walked back out I saw him sitting at the dining table with his mask down, waiting for me to join him. I took my usual seat beside him and started to eat some rice with salmon. Our elbows would occasionally bump into each other and for a brief moment… It felt like before we started fighting. Brief moment… I’ll be going tomorrow with Tenzo to sneak into the foundation and surely it’ll raise tensions between us… But if I didn’t, the tension would rise from my end… My antsiness at the lack of certainty over my future in the Anbu. All because he couldn’t stop being my husband when he looked at me, not the Hokage I needed him to be when he was in his office. The knots started to tighten in my stomach and I could feel myself growing sick. I ran to the bathroom, lifting up the seat and letting it all out. Kakashi rushed in behind and started to pull at my hair, making sure none of it was in the way. “Should we contact Lady Tsunade?” He asked with a heavily worried tone.

“No.” I managed to say while taking the cloth Kakashi handed to me. I wiped the edge of my mouth clean, now that I think I finally managed to stop. “This is still normal.” I urged, but his body still seemed tense with his jaw clenched and his brows up in worry. I guess I wasn’t done as more started to come up and out.

“Maybe we should contact her just in case.” He suggested while brushing stray hairs to his hand that was holding my hair.

“No.” I told him again as I finished. “Don’t you remember how much I threw up last time?” I reminded him as cold sweats started up. I started dry heaving and I could feel him move behind me, his breath on my neck.

“You didn’t look this sickly last time.” He whispered as my hands started shaking and sweat droplets reached my brow. My stomach finally unclenched and I sat up against the tub and wiped my mouth with the cloth as Kakashi handed me. He let go of my hair and brushed back at my hair, tucking it behind my ear before cupping my face. His eyes were full of concern while his jaw flexed in frustration. “I’m going to go contact Lady Tsunade.” He declared and started to get up but I reached and grabbed onto his forearm as I caught my breath. His head whipped around to have his wide eyes fall on me with his mouth open slightly. He crouched before me and took the hand of mine that was on his forearm and held it between his two hands, bringing it up to his face as his eyes darted between mine.

“It’s ok… Really.” I encouraged before giving him a tight smile. His eyes softened and his jaw unclenched before he nodded.

“Ok.” He placed a kiss on the back of my palm and let go of my hand to then run off, hopefully not going to contact Lady Tsunade anyways… I grabbed my toothbrush and closed the door to the bathroom to take a quick shower and brush my teeth. When I came out of the shower, I saw Kakashi must’ve snuck in as there was some underwear and the torn sweatshirt of his waiting for me on the counter around the sink. After putting them on, I walked out to see Kakashi reading on the couch. He immediately got up, placing the book on the coffee table, and ran over to me. “Are you ok?” He asked while placing a hand on the small of my back. I just nodded along, enjoying his touch in the moment while looking up at him and giving him a half smile. He left my side to walk into the kitchen grabbing onto a mug. “I thought I’d make you some ginger tea… That always helped before.” He mentioned while handing me the mug. I held onto the warm mug with both hands and nodded… Starting to feel so guilty about what I was going to do tomorrow… But I needed to do it.

“I’m going to take this and go to bed.” I informed him while speaking softly and looking down at the mug. He placed a hand on the back of my neck, but over my hair and kissed the top of my head before walking off. I went into the bedroom and sat at the edge of the bed, sipping the tea while playing over the mission plan in my head for tomorrow. When I finished my tea, I placed the mug on the nightstand and curled into bed.

* * *

I knocked on the door to Kakashi’s office and waited. “Come in.” I heard him say from behind the door. I placed my door on the knob and took a deep breath, turned the knob, walked through the doorway, and closed the door behind me. When I walked up to him, he was still mindlessly working on paperwork, as there were stacks of it on the desk. I approached his desk and saw the dent I had left on the table was still there… Hopefully another one won’t be made today… “Oh, hey… How are you feeling?” I looked up to see he had put his pen down and was giving me his full attention now. Instead of answering, I handed him the two scrolls, one containing the statement for the trial and the other that had Danzo’s mission report. “Is this for the trial?” He questioned and I nodded in response. He started to read the first scroll and his eyes quickly widened before his jaw started clenching as he read along. He ruffled through, quickly moving onto the second scroll as he started to read the mission statement from Danzo, which he ruffled at the sight of. After taking a deep breath and seeing his shoulders tense more than I’ve ever seen them before, he placed the papers onto his desk gently with a tense hand and tried his best to smooth out the paper. He clasped his hands together interlocking his fingers and let his hands fall onto the desk while he hunched over with tension in his arms. “I’m going to ask you something, and you’ve never lied to me before, so please don’t start now.” He spoke through gritted teeth. “How long have you had this report for?” He asked quickly with a mostly even tone.

“Since the day before yesterday.” I admitted. Honestly at this point I feel so tired of being angry at him…

“Dammit Kessho!” He slammed his fist onto the table and looked off to the side in frustration while I flinched. “That bruise… Don’t lie to me please… Where did you get it?” He pleaded through gritted teeth while taking heavy breaths as he looked at me and tried to calm himself down. His face was in a scowl and his jaw kept clenching.

“Tenzo and I sparred, but we were very careful, the babies are fine, I made absolutely sure of it, don’t blame him please, I manipulated him into it”

“Oh I’m sure you did.” He sneered and I gripped at the back of the chair in front of his desk. “Why? Why would you do this knowing full well that you were at risk considering that you worked as a double agent in the root, went rogue after Danzo died, and you know all too well those tensions haven’t been smoothed over yet? Why would you do something so  _ stupid _ a-a-and reckless?!” He shouted with furrowed brows and tight lips.

“Because I promised Itachi, and because I knew I could.” I answered softly and calmly, just not wanting to even try… Clearly if he couldn’t see it with this, then he was never going to. “I don’t even have a scratch on me.” I assured him while pulling up at my kimono sleeves to reveal my forearms. “You can check if you don’t believe me…” I trailed off while he held out his hand and turned to the side while pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I can’t believe… I thought we were finally getting to a better place…” He mumbled to himself. Something about that made me feel so sickened with myself.

“Why? Because I was finally submitting to your hold?!” I snapped while gripping tighter at the chair. His head whipped to face mine with narrowed eyes.

“Don’t you dare say shit like that about me…” He scoffed. “You acted all sweet and innocent the night before, even finally letting me touch you again… Like some fucking act…” His voice cracked at the end and he turned around to look out the window with his arms across his chest.

“An act? You really think I would do that to you…?” I bellowed like a wounded animal while trying my best to sound strong and determined. “You ever think that maybe I was just tired of the fighting? And that maybe… For a moment… I just wanted to pretend we weren’t?”

“Well this is in your hands, Kessho, it’s really easy to fix.” He stated while looking over his shoulder at me. The lighting from the sun, his eye in the shadow… He looked so sinister.

“So what, the fix is for me to give in? Give up on who I am? What made me, me?” I clenched so tight at the back of the chair that the wood started to crumble in my hands. “Why do I have to be the one to change?!”

“Because what you’re doing is dangerous, what I’m doing isn’t!” He yelled as he turned around and planted his palms onto his desk, leaning over it, staring me down.

“You’re Hokage, the leader of the village! You think that they have guards outside the door for shits and giggles?! Don’t act so fucking arrogant!” I fumed while continuing to crumple at the back of the chair in my hands as I leaned forward.

“Yes, I have guards, meanwhile you mainly do solo missions!” He shouted and paused for a moment. His guard slowly came down: his brows unfurrowed, jaw unclenched, shoulders slumped, his eyes even began to water. “If you die on a mission… I won’t even know.” He finished with a whisper as a tear fell into his mask. I let go of the back of the chair and my eyes fell to the floor.

“That’s no different than before…” I held onto my bicep and shrugged.

“I couldn’t control it before…” He whispered as I saw his head hang in my periphery. “What…” I lifted my head to watch him rubbing his eyes. “What about… Being leader of a team of genin?” He offered. Finally. An effort… But it’s laughable honestly…

“I think you and I both know I’m not suited for that.” I told him earnestly while thinking back to what I told Ino the one time I was left alone with team ten.

“What do you mean? Ino-Shika-Cho turned out great.” He remarked with his head tilted to the side.

“Yeah because Asuma was there to do damage control anytime I fucked up… Which was a lot.” I reminded him with raised brows while I folded my arms under my chest.

“You’ve grown a lot since then, I’m sure you-“

“No.” I snapped.

“Kessho!” He shouted again. “I’m trying to meet you halfway here.” He sounded exasperated but I held firm.

“Given my talents, that’s hardly halfway.” I sneered.

“We aren’t in a time of war, Kessho! You aren’t needed the same way anymore.” He argued. I pushed my kimono to the side so I could summon my S-ranked bingo book to then throw it at him.

“You tell me how many in there have anything to do with war crimes!” I yelled before placing my hands onto my hips. He picked the book off of the floor and started to go through it, which would show most of them had nothing to do with war times. Most were high level crime bosses of various different types that required some finessing to gain access to them to assassinate them. He placed the book onto his desk and shrugged.

“I have other Anbu agents for this type of thing.” He shrugged, trying to play it off while I started to tap my foot.

“Oh yeah? Tell me, how’s that going for you?” I questioned with a daring tone as he folded his arms across his chest.

“Just fine thank you.” He hissed and I started to ruffle through the pile of missions looking at the S-Ranked ones.

“This one? Done in a week.” I slammed a paper down onto his desk from the pile. “This one? About ten days.” I slammed another paper down as his jaw started to clench and unclench again. “This one…” I chuckled. “He frequents at Rei’s bar. I could have it done by tomorrow morning.” I slammed the next paper down and he slammed his hand down onto the pile that I had been ruffling through. “You tell me you can find anyone to do these as quickly and as clean as you know I could do them! Tell me!” I yelled at the top of my lungs, fully letting myself feel the rage now.

“You’re being unreasonable. You need to leave.” He huffed while trying to maintain composure as he stared me down with narrowed eyes. When I stared back at him and didn’t budge, he snapped, “LEAVE!” He shouted with a voice louder than I’d ever heard him yell before, which caused me to flinch and take a step back. “NOW!” He pointed towards the door as my mouth fell open and I could feel my eyes start to water. I lowered my head and reached for my bingo book and scrolls I had written for Sasuke’s trial along with the report, quickly grabbing them, to then rush out of the office with the door still open. “TENZO!” I heard him shout. I stumbled to the wall across from the door and propped myself up by resting my forearm against it. Some shinobi passed by behind me and I wiped the tears from my cheeks and composed myself. I rushed alongside the door to try and listen in.

“Seriously what were you thinking?!” I heard Kakashi yell, although it was muffled from behind the door. Tenzo seemed to be yelling back, but it was just muffles… At least I hoped that was Tenzo yelling back. More and more muffles was all I could hear.

“She’s like a caged bird, Kakashi!” I guess Tenzo was yelling back. Good. He should stand up for himself… Although I guess he was even standing up for me… Thank you… After another good ten minutes of muffles, I started to sense that he was moving towards the door. I took a step back to see an angry and stressed Tenzo walking out.

“Kessho…” Kakashi called out. “I’ll fix this… Just please… Give me time…” He spoke gently and looked absolutely broken… What exactly did Tenzo say to him?

“O-ok…” I whispered while holding onto my bicep.

“And use that at the hearing… You’ll speak the day after tomorrow. It’ll help a lot.” He mentioned while looking down at his desk and fiddling with the papers.

“Kessho! Let’s go.” Tenzo called out. My head snapped to him to see he was halfway down the hall and he had turned to walk out. I rushed along behind him to hear him muttering under his breath.

“You ok there bud?” I questioned.

“He’s just so frustratingly oblivious sometimes!” Tenzo ranted with his hands balled into fists.

“You didn’t get in trouble, did you?” I asked nervously while fiddling with my ring as we walked out of the hokage tower to see that it had started snowing… Great.

“What?” He questioned while looking over his shoulder. “No. Of course not.” He shook his head.

“So you’re still assigned to me?” I wondered aloud.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” He questioned while we walked into Ichiraku’s. He sat down and I sat down next to him as he ordered for both of us. His body was still tense and it seemed his jaw was clenching while he was in thought. I started playing around with my ring as I waited for the food. Just as Ayame served us both, Tenzo placed his hand on my wrist. When I turned to him, he looked me straight into the eyes with a sympathetic look. “It’ll all sort itself out.” He encouraged before patting my wrist and moving his hand to pick up his chopsticks so he could start to eat. Seems Tenzo tried to talk some sense into him… I hope he’s right.


	12. That sounds... Promising

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:
> 
> “Nobody can deny that Uchiha Sasuke has suffered more than anyone should in their lifetime. Losing his entire clan at such a young age, at the hand of his older brother. Someone he thought he could trust, and depend on. But… What if…” I started to approach the village elders. “What if we found out those weren’t the circumstances that led genocide of the Uchiha?” The jaw of the male elder clenched while the eyes of the female village elder narrowed. “What if the genocide was orchestrated by someone other Uchiha Itachi?” I started to walk away from the village elders and make my way to the otherside of the council. I allowed myself to peek out of the corner of my eye to see Kakashi feigning boredom and resting his head against his palm, but there was a smirk underneath that mask of his. “What if Uchiha Itachi was manipulated by Danzo? Would Sasuke’s murder not be considered justice for all that he had lost?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've never played Ace attorney, but my friend tells me that I basically wrote ace attorney... Oops...

I walked into the judiciary building with Tenzo and headed up to the second floor for Sasuke’s hearing with the scrolls tucked between my breasts. When I got to the second floor, I saw Kakashi standing by outside the room I was supposed to go into. He rushed up to me and looked past me, presumably at Tenzo. “Could you give us a minute?” He asked quietly. I heard Tenzo’s footsteps get quieter as he walked off while Kakashi grabbed at my bicep and pulled me into a smaller meeting room aside. “I was hoping to talk to you beforehand… I hope that’s ok.” He whispered. His hand let go of my bicep hesitantly as it roamed around my arm, unsure of whether he should reach out and touch or if I would still recoil. I grabbed onto his forearm tightly, just wanting… Hoping… Wishing this would all be over between us…

“It’s ok.” I spoke quietly while nodding. His hand clung to my forearm, willing to accept any touch I’d allow.

“I… I think I found a solution.” He remarked while lowering his mask as his eyes searched for mine. “One I think you’d be ok with… At least I really hope so. Please…” He pursed his lips and looked up for a moment at feeling his own voice crack as he spoke. “Just know that I’m really trying.” He whispered while brushing away a couple stray hairs from my face, and tucking them safely behind my ear to then quickly pull back, afraid he overstepped. I half smiled and could feel a lump growing in my throat.

“Thank you…” I whispered. I hesitated for a moment, but I finally placed my arm at the nape of his neck and pulled him down to place a kiss on his cheek. I lingered for what was probably a little too long but I just… Missed him… When I pulled away the sadness that was in his eyes seemed to be replaced with something a little lighter and brighter. He gulped and the corners of his lips turned up.

“After the trial is over, in two days, stop by my office… I’ll explain everything.” He urged and I nodded. I licked my thumb and moved to wipe off the lipstick I left on his cheek, but he grabbed at my wrist. “Don’t… Leave it.” When he let go, I let my arm fall down to my side, and I let my gaze follow my hand. “You look beautiful…” He cooed leaning in a little closer.

“Kakashi… I’m not…” I started and he pulled away a little while maintaining his gentle hold of my forearm.

“I’m sorry it’s just… I missed you…” He whispered and I eyed him through my lashes.

“I’ve missed you too…” I replied, just as quietly and heartbroken as he did. “We should get going…”

“Wait.” He gripped tighter onto my forearm, almost desperately. His eyes had darkened and the corners of his mouth had dipped down. His shoulders were slumped and his lip quivered while his eyes searched something in mine. “I… I still love you Kessho…” He whispered with a shaky voice. Did he think I didn’t love him…? Have I broken this man…? He’s looking at me the same way he would every time it was nearing the end in the infinite tsukuyomi, and my heart is aching.

“Oh Kakashi…” I whispered as I placed a hand onto his cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned into it. “I still love you…” His eyes opened and his other hand gripped at my wrist while his lips parted slightly. “That’s why it hurts so much…” I stopped as the lump in my throat grew bigger and my voice cracked while his grip on my wrist squeezed. “That… That you don’t accept all of who I am.” I finished turning to the floor and letting my hand on his cheek fall. He slid his hand from my wrist to hold my fingers to pull up my hand to his face again.

“Kessho… No-“

“Lord Sixth.” Shikamaru knocked on the door to the room we were hidden away in. “Lord Sixth, they’re ready to start.” He called out with his voice muffled from behind the door.

“I need a minute. Stall.” Kakashi ordered with a commanding tone before returning to a sweet and soft, but heartbroken tone. “Kessho… That’s not it at all…” My gaze turned back to his to see him using my hand to hide his face behind it. “If I knew you’d return safely each time, I’d send you on even the deadliest of missions… But that’s not how that works…” He pressed my palm onto his cheek and half smiled while he closed his eyes, seeming almost at peace.

“Lord Sixth.” Shikamaru called out while knocking again. Kakashi’s eyes opened and the sadness consumed him again as the smile faded as he gripped tightly at my hand and forearm, not ready to let go.

“Just please, come by my office after the trial.” He urged quickly and quietly.

“I will.” I whispered as he dropped my hand and let go of my forearm.

“I’m sorry I need to…” He whispered as he cupped my face and pressed his soft lips onto my forehead. His touch was so delicate as he did it, almost afraid. When he pulled away, he started pulling up his mask over his face.

“Lord Sixth, we need to start.” Shikamaru’s voice was getting hasty. He held onto my hand and led me out of the room with Shikamaru standing beside the door. He stopped in front of the door and let go of my hand when he turned around to face me again.

“You’ll do great.” He assured with a tight lipped smile behind that mask of his. He stood there for another moment looking at me with somber eyes before he went into the room. I pulled out the statement from my kimono and went over it once in my head. After I finished reading what I had written, I headed into the room to see the council seated before me. Kakashi was sitting in the center, with the village elders on one side, and the jonin commander and Anbu commander on the other. The guards left and closed the door behind them and I noticed Sasuke seated in a straight jacket off to the side. He looked… Defeated… With his head hung and dead eyes, absolutely still.

“You may start whenever you’re ready.” Kakashi spoke with his usual lazy tone and half lidded eyes as all turned to him as he spoke. The eyes slowly drifted off from him and his eyes changed from half lidded to something much softer. I looked down at my ring and fiddled with it before looking at the statement I had written. Honestly… I usually do better with these things if I just wing it. Lord Third really liked that when they started training me for deep cover. I placed my hand behind my back that was holding the statement and held my wrist, walking a little closer to the council.

“Nobody can deny that Uchiha Sasuke has suffered more than anyone should in their lifetime. Losing his entire clan at such a young age, at the hand of his older brother. Someone he thought he could trust, and depend on. But… What if…” I started to approach the village elders. “What if we found out those weren’t the circumstances that led genocide of the Uchiha?” The jaw of the male elder clenched while the eyes of the female village elder narrowed. “What if the genocide was orchestrated by someone other Uchiha Itachi?” I started to walk away from the village elders and make my way to the otherside of the council. I allowed myself to peek out of the corner of my eye to see Kakashi feigning boredom and resting his head against his palm, but there was a smirk underneath that mask of his. “What if Uchiha Itachi was manipulated by Danzo? Would Sasuke’s murder not be considered justice for all that he had lost?”

“Preposterous!” The male village elder bellowed and I whipped around while standing in front of the new jonin commander to see the village elder now standing up with both hands planted on the bench before him.

“You have no evidence to support these claims.” The female elder sneered while avoiding my gaze.

“Now, now.” Kakashi hand motioned for the male elder to sit with a calm and steady voice. “She’s just starting, why don’t we let her continue?” He questioned.

“If she’s going to these ludicrous claims, I hardly think we should waste time listening to her.” The male elder huffed as he sat down.

“I am a woman of science. I wouldn’t make such claims without having the evidence to back them up.” I spoke with a slightly offended tone while bringing up a hand to my chest. The female elder’s head snapped to me with wide eyes and a tight mouth, visibly furious. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to continue with my statement.”

“Yes… I’m very interested in hearing this.” The Anbu commander spoke behind their mask while leaning in ever so slightly.

“Continue.” Kakashi encouraged with a small nod and soft smile before returning to his ‘someone please save me I’m so bored’ façade.

“Sasuke’s crimes involve leaving the village without permission, the murder of Danzo, and threatening the village. The last of which he never enacted upon. All of these crimes never would have happened had Danzo not been out for seeking power instead of putting the village above all else. So you see, Sasuke here is… Nothing more than a victim of circumstance.” I finished my opening statement, now standing before the Hokage again, who was smiling down at me from behind his tall judiciary bench.

“And your evidence to support these claims?” The male village elder sneered with a smirk. Oh how he underestimated me.

“Ah yes. Of course.” I spun on my heel to take a few steps away from them as I started up again. “You see long ago Lord Third had me deliver a letter to Itachi. Nothing more, something very simple. All the letter had was information about how Sasuke had just graduated from the academy with the highest grades.” I informed while peeking out at Sasuke to see a small smile on his face that was still hung, hair covering his eyes. “It always bothered me… Why would Lord Third send out a letter to a rogue shinobi that murdered the very clan he was informing them about?” I spun back around on my heel facing them, puffing out my chest slightly. “It let me know that there was a piece to the story that was missing. I had heard things about Danzo, unkind things… But I never really had anything concrete to give rise to suspicion, nor did I have anything to really show me there was malice within him. When there was conflict arising between him and Lady Fifth…” My eyes fell to the floor and the hairs that Kakashi had tucked away came loose. “She assigned me to act as a double agent and work for Lord Danzo under the root. It was then that I learned of the true vileness that existed within him.” I raised my head and looked up at Kakashi and I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. ‘Breathe’ he mouthed. I took in a deep breath through my nose and exhaled a shaky breath. “I’m sorry you’ll have to excuse me.” I let out a self depreciating chuckle. “With my time in the root I still had to do things I’m not proud of… Normally I’d be much more composed…” I felt a tear escape down my cheek. “But as you can see…” I placed one hand onto my stomach and looked down. “I’m not quite my usual composed self.” I chuckled again while wiping away at the tear.

“Take your time.” Kakashi urged with a soothing tone.

“We still haven’t heard any evidence.” The male village elder scoffed and I let out a chuckle while I turned to look at him.

“Well that’s just it. I had my suspicions, so when I got into the inner circle, I went through and found this.” I pulled out the mission statement filled out by Danzo from between my breasts and held it out for all to see. “This right here is the mission statement written by Danzo, sanctioned by the village elders, and backed by Lord Third after the fact.” I explained while I heard a ‘hmph’ coming out from Sasuke as the Anbu commander held out his hand.

“I’d like to take a closer look at that if I may.” He spoke with such strength and politeness in his voice. As I walked over to him I could see both village elders had their eyes wide and the female was flustered with the color leaving her face while the male had his brows furrowed and jaw clenched.

“That’s not even something that should be in your possession! You are a traitor to the leaf!” The male village elder accused while slamming his fist onto the table and grasping at straws.

“Considering she obtained that while under the orders of the Fifth Hokage and had been given access to the files by Lord Danzo himself, I’d urge you to reconsider your words. Maybe take a moment to compose yourself.” Kakashi instructed in a commanding tone while I handed the report to the Anbu commander. He took it and studied it closely.

“Even so, this was ordered because of a coup d’etat that was brewing from the Uchiha.” The female village elder stated as I made my way back to the center of the room. When I spun around on my heels I stared her down with mine and her eyes narrowed.

“Yes but Danzo’s motives still were for power, not protection of the leaf. What isn’t stated on that paper is how Uchiha Shisui was planning to use his visual prowess, the Kotomatsumaki, to stop the coup d’etat. Only he never got the chance to, because Danzo stole one of his eyes from him, wanting the power all for himself.” The female village elder’s eyes grew wide. I only had this told to me by Itachi in the infinite tsukuyomi, but everything else that happened there seemed to be true and based on the village elder’s reactions it seems plausible… Glad I took that shot in the dark. “Had Danzo not been out seeking power, the coup d’etat could have been quelled without bloodshed which is what Lord Third wanted and why he only gave backing after all was said and done.” I clarified with my most powerful voice while puffing out my chest. Sasuke ruffled at his holdings some and everyone grew still and tense. He huffed a few times and settled down, and the Anbu commander passed the mission statement to the jonin leader. “So you see, what Sasuke did was nothing more than justice. Especially considering the atrocities he did by desecrating the bodies afterwards by stealing the eyes of the Uchiha for himself, placing them along his arm with the help of the rogue ninja Orochimaru. That’s why he was wrapped in bandages.”

“Your evidence for these claims?” The male village elder questioned.

“I can confirm that Lord Danzo stole Shisui’s eye. It’s part of the problems that went on at the last Five Kage summit and why Danzo left early.” Kakashi spoke in his bored tone while still resting his head on his palm.

“Even still, it should have been left for the council to decide Danzo’s punishment.” The Anbu commander stated.

“That might be true, but he’s on the council and there’s implicit biases… Besides… Sasuke did the council a favor in the long run.” I told them while rocking from my heels to my toes and the Anbu commander tilted his head to the side while the male elder folded his arms across his chest. “You see, the last order given to me by Danzo was to assassinate Lady Tsunade, so he could take permanent position as Hokage, but he instructed for me to do so only after the jonin vote of confidence. Danzo’s only objective ever was power.” I assured while pursing my lips.

“How can we be sure that you were working as a mole and what you just said was true?” The female village elder questioned with slight bewilderment in her tone, so I stuck out my tongue.

“That’s Danzo’s cursed tongue seal!” The Anbu commander confirmed in shock, so I closed my mouth.

“I had it tattooed onto my tongue after it was removed to make sure I didn’t blow my cover.” I explained. “So you see, even when Sasuke found out the village elders were involved, all he wanted was to hold them accountable, not destroy the leaf. Itachi and Sasuke both are the reason behind the undoing of the reincarnation jutsu being undone. If he truly wanted to destroy the leaf, he had every opportunity to do so during the war… Instead, he sought to save the leaf by helping end the war. As far as evidence for that is concerned, all I have are my memories, which I’m happy to let Ino confirm.” I finished presenting the evidence and waited as they all started to mumble to each other.

“To close, I’d like to express again how Sasuke is merely a victim of circumstance. His actions were consequences of actions that were orchestrated by Danzo with the approval of the village elders. Sasuke is a mere child who still even at a young age understood the concept of justice and knew that what happened to him was something nobody should have to go through. Though at his core, he still aches to help those who sought out to provide him with the home he craved… His home being, the leaf.” I summarized with my closing statement. They all continued to murmur to each other. “Oh! One last thing.” I exclaimed, having remembered. “Village elders, you’ll be happy to know that this evidence will never leave the room. Not even from Sasuke’s stand point. You see, Itachi never wished to have the truth of this come out… And I gave him my word for two things: That I would protect his brother, and I wouldn’t tell anyone about the truth of the massacre… So it seems you two have nothing to worry about.” I spoke with an even tone but I still couldn’t help myself when clenching my jaw.

“Does anyone have any questions or concerns about Lady Hatake’s statement?” Kakashi questioned, finally lifting his head and sitting up straight. The village elders grumbled to each other while the Anbu and jonin commanders stayed silent. “In that case, Lady Hatake, you are dismissed.”

“Actually Lord Sixth… If it’s alright with you…” I started and he raised his eyebrow in wait. “May I approach Sasuke for a moment?”

“I don’t see why not…” He mentioned while peeking over at the rest of the council. Once nobody made faces he nodded and I approached Sasuke.

“I’m sorry you had to find out about Shisui’s plan with Itachi like this…” I whispered to him.

“Are you… The one with the owl mask?” He grumbled and I nodded hesitantly. He stayed quiet for a moment as his head hung lower. “Will you come see me…? To tell me about Itachi…?” He mumbled quietly, with his voice softened some.

“Sure thing. When you’re out of here, I’ll invite you to dinner and tell you everything I knew about him.” I whispered before smiling. He raised his head enough to let me see a small smile before giving a short nod. With that I made my way to the door and left, but not before stealing one last glance from my husband. He widened his eyes and then winked. Oh no… What was that…? That was not a wink… That was… I don’t know what that was… I must’ve made quite the face as he was trying his hardest to hold back his laughs as I scurried out the door.

I ran into Tenzo, who grabbed onto my biceps and steadied me. “Everything ok?” He asked with his head tilted and his big eyes darting between mine.

“Yeah, Kakashi just tried to wink and…” I shuddered thinking back at it while Tenzo let me go and snickered. “Just you wait until you see it!” I whined while we started to walk out.

“So are Kakashi and you good now?” He wondered while looking to the floor, walking beside me.

“I wouldn’t say that… He did say he thinks he found a solution… One that he thinks I’d be ok with.” I clarified while placing one hand on my stomach while the other was gripping onto the railing as we went down the stairs of the judiciary building.

“That sounds… Promising.” He admitted as we walked out of the building. I smiled to myself some.

“It does… He wanted me to know he was really trying…” I trailed off thinking back to the intimate moment we had. “Tenzo.” I stopped as I grabbed onto his shoulder to stop him and have him face me with those big dark eyes watching me closely. “I don’t know what you said to him the other day but… Thank you.”

“I’m sorry about breaking your trust but…” Tenzo shook his head as he started walking again with his eyes turned to the ground. “I told him you thought about running away. He needed to know how serious this all was because he just wasn’t getting it.” He confessed while finishing with a grumble as he clenched his hands. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath to let out a deep sigh. “You make him so happy Kessho…” He smiled while turning his face to me and I started to feel the heat rise to my cheeks. “The first time he told me about you, he was beaming! I had never seen him so happy before…” He trailed off as he looked on ahead. “You’re really good for him, and I want you two to work… I need something to believe in…” I shot Tenzo a half smile.

“Tenzo, you’ll find someone…” I encouraged as I placed a hand onto his shoulder. “Although I’m not sure Kakashi and I are the best example of a relationship to believe in.” I told him before laughing.

“Maybe not now, but… You told me before that you and me… We were made to be alone…” He trailed off while shrugging and my smile faded. “You were right, but you found someone-“

“And you can too, Tenzo.” I whispered with absolute certainty in my voice. His slumped shoulders straightened and he bore a little smirk.

“You sound so sure…” He commented while looking up to the bright, blue, cloudless sky. “I hope you’re right.”


	13. It's not a food baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:   
> “Kessho, this is the commander of the Anbu, as I’m sure you know. He’s been commander since before I even joined. He’s looking to retire and asked me to help him find a replacement.” He spoke with such caution in his words while he studied my reactions closely. “I would like you to replace him.” He stated and my lips parted from the shock. My arms started to come unfolded as they rested on my stomach.
> 
> “Lord Sixth!” The Anbu commander protested. “How could you suggest such a thing?!” But Kakashi’s eyes were on me, waiting for my response.
> 
> “This is much more in line with what I need, but… I don’t know that I’m qualified for this position.” I answered while uncrossing my legs and straightening up in the chair. The Anbu commander scoffed.
> 
> “Thank you!” The Anbu commander exclaimed while crossing his arms against his chest and slumping into his chair.

I knocked onto Kakashi’s office door and waited. “Come in.” I heard him call out, though his voice was muffled. I opened the door to see the Anbu commander sitting in a chair in front of him. “Oh good, you’re here…”

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know you had someone here… I can come back later…” I stuttered while fidgeting, unsure whether or not to turn around and leave.

“Come in, come in.” He motioned with his hand, so I sat down in the chair beside the commander.

“Surely you couldn’t have been talking about your wife.” The way the Anbu commander spoke, it was almost like he was talking down to me… What’s going on here…?

“Kakashi, what’s going on?” I questioned while folding my arms under my chest as I was growing impatient. I slumped back in my chair and crossed my legs in anticipation.

“Kessho, this is the commander of the Anbu, as I’m sure you know. He’s been commander since before I even joined. He’s looking to retire and asked me to help him find a replacement.” He spoke with such caution in his words while he studied my reactions closely. “I would like you to replace him.” He stated and my lips parted from the shock. My arms started to come unfolded as they rested on my stomach.

“Lord Sixth!” The Anbu commander protested. “How could you suggest such a thing?!” But Kakashi’s eyes were on me, waiting for my response.

“This is much more in line with what I need, but… I don’t know that I’m qualified for this position.” I answered while uncrossing my legs and straightening up in the chair. The Anbu commander scoffed.

“Thank you!” The Anbu commander exclaimed while crossing his arms against his chest and slumping into his chair, but Kakashi ignored him.

“Kessho you are more than qualified.” He spoke with a calm even tone.

“I don’t have experience leading teams… Much less an entire division…” I argued while furrowing my brows while the Anbu commander grumbled some more.

“But you do… plenty of it. Just not necessarily Anbu ones, but you lead an entire medical tent during the war, you would lead the entire hospital floor any time you would pull shifts when you worked in the hospital… You’ve done it ever since you followed team ten in the shadows. You led that entire mission and only revealed yourself when you thought it needed. That’s all leading different teams. You lead the entire research division for Naruto’s arm…” He allowed himself to give me a quick half smile before hardening his face again. “I’ll admit I was hesitant when I first thought up of the idea, but Lady Tsunade has seen you, and she’s more than certain you’re qualified to lead after watching you over the years.” I hadn’t realized my muscles tensed, but they finally relaxed as I gave a quick nod.

“I’m sorry Lord Sixth but I find it hard to believe she’s qualified. I’ve never seen her in the Anbu before.” The Anbu commander remarked and Kakashi finally turned to him.

“That was purposeful. Only the Hokage’s know of my existence.” I commented while folding my arms again under my chest and slumping down in the chair. Kakashi reached under his desk and pulled out the stack of my mission reports and dropped them onto the desk before the Anbu commander.

“These are all her mission reports starting with intel gathering that lead to the battle of Kannabi bridge.” He informed. “She’s only completed around 300 missions, but over 100 of those have been S-ranked… Which is more than I or Lady Tsunade has completed. I assure you she’s well qualified.” He encouraged the commander, so the commander ruffled through the piles, pulling out a few files at random to go through. Once he finished he placed them on the top of the pile and stood up.

“I’m sorry for doubting you Lord Hokage.” The Anbu Commander bowed deeply and held it for a moment before straightening. “Lady Hatake… It would bring me much relief to have someone of your caliber take over the position. I might even feel at ease…” He then bowed to me before straightening. “I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I merely want to make sure that the Anbu is in good hands, especially given everything that happened with Danzo and the foundation. Though given your statement at the trial… I can see that your judgement is sound.” The mask of his was making it hard to read him, but his tone was apologetic.

“So Kessho?” My head snapped back at the sound of Kakashi’s voice. “Will you take the position…?” I took a deep calming breath before answering. He had his fingers laced in front of his mouth, hiding behind them as he waited.

“Yes.” I answered and I could see a twinkle in his eyes as they lit up. “But I have some conditions…” I warned. “And there are changes that would have to be made.” I glanced over at the Anbu commander who nodded.

“Anything that Lord Sixth approves of, I’ll be fine with. Especially now that I’ve come to read some of your work. I’m sure your choices will be in the interest and safety of the Anbu soldiers.” The commander acknowledged.

“In that case.” I placed my hands onto the desk to help myself as I stood up. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to discuss the details with him alone…” I beseeched. The Anbu commander gave a nod and a short bow before heading out; I walked up to the door and locked it.

“You’re really ok with this…?” He questioned with his voice almost in disbelief. I turned around and walked over to the couch in his office and patted on the cushion beside me after sitting down. He got up and sat down next to me with one leg on the couch, facing me. I mimicked his seating position and grabbed one of his hands to hold on my lap.

“Yes… If you agree to my conditions.” I warned, and he nodded cautiously. “The Anbu commander still goes on the occasional mission, if no one else can complete it, do they not?” I questioned and his hand squeezed mine tightly and I saw his jaw clench under his mask.

“That’s correct.” He answered through gritted teeth. His free hand went to pull down his mask, tugging at it some, almost as if it was suddenly too tight.

“And you’re not going to prevent me from going on them, right…?” I asked with wariness. He took a deep breath before answering.

“No, but you can’t go assigning yourself a bunch of missions for no reason.” He argued while squeezing my hand. He was finally being reasonable…

“I get that… Maybe someone apart from us can be the deciding factor… For when I say yes and you say no.” I suggested and he smiled while taking off his hokage hat and placing it on the cubby filled with papers beside the couch.

“That’s probably a good idea.” He agreed as his shoulders slumped, but this time as a sign of relief, rather than sadness. “What else…?”

“Even if I get injured, or something else happens to me… You are not allowed to change that stipulation. Understood?” I warned with my brows raised staring him down. He gulped, nodded, and his eyes fell to my lap where I held his hand. “I need to hear you say it.” I placed my hand onto his chin and pushed up so he could look into my eyes, but he was still looking away, averting me. “I need your word Kakashi…” He hesitated and I frowned. Without this they’re nothing but empty words… I let my hand fall from his chin and he caught it, placing my palm onto his cheek as he finally looked at me. He closed his eyes for a moment as he enjoyed my touch before taking a deep breath to then open his eyes.

“You have my word… I won’t stop you from going out on  _ necessary  _ missions… Even if you do get hurt or injured or something else…” He squeezed my hand as I let out a ‘hmph’ at the ‘necessary’ comment which made him smile. “Anything else?” He asked wearily.

“Not as husband and wife.” I let out a small chuckle as I smiled, just finally relieved that it was all over after nearly two weeks of fighting. I moved my other hand from my lap to cup his face and press my forehead against his.

“I’m not sure I follow what you mean…” He whispered with a shaky voice.

“I mean everything else is things like how I want a different uniform, more business side, not personal.” I clarified. His hands quickly moved to my face and he pulled me into a sweet, hasty, passionate kiss. Those soft lips I missed so much, no longer filled with anger behind them. I felt a tear fall onto my hand as his tongue started to taste mine. They danced as our hands tensed, trying to contain some of the intensity of the moment between us. As we ended the kiss, our lips grazed against each other’s longingly. Our eyes fluttered open, not wanting to let the kiss end as our lips lingered against each other.

“Kessho… I’m so sorry…” He whispered with his lips brushing against mine as he spoke while his thumb smoothed over one of my cheeks.

“It’s ok… You were just afraid… I’m sorry I’m hard to deal with I just-“

“It’s ok… I understand now… Shh…” He cooed before pulling me into a short and gentle kiss. His hand that wasn’t thumbing my cheek went into my hair where he pushed to press my forehead against his. “I missed this… It’s like… When we do this… It’s like, I-I feel what you feel…” He smiled and so did I, but I furrowed my brows in confusion. “You’re not sharing your feelings with me?” He questioned with his smile fading and his eyes darting between mine. I placed one of my hands onto his wrist as I chuckled.

“Not on purpose, though… Maybe I am unintentionally…” I replied and I heard him let out a happy hum.

“Don’t stop… Ever.” He pleaded with such seriousness in his eyes and his tone.

“I won’t.” I smiled wider than before as he pulled me in for another quick peck.

“And please do this to our kids…” He cooed while brushing my hair behind my ear. “They’ll feel like the most loved children ever.” He wore his closed eyed smile that I missed so much…

“Is that how you feel?” I pondered as I ran my hands into his hair and he nodded. “Good.” I separated to place a kiss onto his forehead. A knock on the door sounded and he turned his head over his shoulder.

“Lord Sixth, your next appointment is here.” Is that Shizune? I didn’t know she was helping out as well…

“Please drop the Lord… And clear out the rest of my day. I’ll be busy discussing the future of the Anbu!” He called out as I ran my hands across his chest. I missed touching him so much… Being this close to him.

“Lord Sixth, are you sure-“

“Yes! I’m certain, now please… And drop the formalities.” He spoke with that commanding tone… I placed one hand onto the cheek that was facing away from me to pull him in for a kiss. Those soft kissable lips… I unzipped my boots without breaking the kiss to take them off and place either foot alongside his hips. He leaned into the kiss, starting to push me back against the couch to lay on it. I could hear him kicking off his shoes as he took off his haori without breaking the kiss. He snaked one arm around my back while the other went into my hair as his body curled over my growing stomach, trying to press himself against me. One of my hands went along his back while the other threaded into his hair.

When he broke the kiss he brushed my hair over my shoulder to expose my neck on one side as he kissed down my jaw, to my neck, placing soft, loving kisses.

“Kakashi… I need you…” I breathed into his ear. He then dragged his bottom lip up my neck after having reached the bottom, and I could feel his hot breath along my ear.

“Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for you to say that to me again…?” He whispered with his lips grazing the outer shell as he pulled me in tighter. My hand on his back clawed at his flak jacket, but I whined wanting to feel his skin. He pulled away to see my face with one of his hands on my cheek with his thumb tracing my bottom lip. “Words Kessho.” He cooed.

“Clothes… Off…” Was all my brain could manage as I scrambled reaching for the hem of my sweatshirt. He undid his flak jacket, pulled off his sweatshirt, and pulled his skin tight shirt off while I took off my sweatshirt and bra. He helped me up after he pulled down his pants, and helped me with taking off my maternity ones. He started to look me up and down as he held one of my hands before he lifted it and twirled me around while I giggled. He let out a very happy hum and wrapped both of his arms around me, pulling me into him. His heat radiated off him, warming me by his touch.

“How do you want to do this… Hmmm? How do you want me to make love to you…?” He questioned as he held me tight with my hands around his neck, as he led me to slow dancing with no music on. It’s like he’s giddy… I rested my head on his chest and brought down one of my hands to trace the scars on his chest before me with the tips of my fingers.

“You’re awfully vocal.” I teased while he placed a kiss on the top of my head.

“I just want you to be happy.” He whispered while resting his head on top of mine.

“I just want to feel as much of you as I can.” I purred while continuing to trace along.

“You want to be… Enveloped?” He teased and I slapped his chest.

“Don’t mock me!” I huffed while he chuckled.

“You’re always so wet for me…” He whispered leaning down into my ear. “And it turns me on…” He growled as he buckled his hips into mine, reaching under my stomach. Fuck I was… Ever since that first kiss, the horny hormones kicked in and by now I was soaked… But how did he know? He hadn’t felt me.

“How did you-“ I questioned while looking at him and he retracted one arm from around me to tap his nose. Of course… He always had a keen sense of smell, I did not. Those same fingers traced down over my stomach, to reach into my underwear, to then enter my slit.

“Well what do you know…” He teased as he started to gently brush over my clit with the tip of his finger, teasing. “Absolutely soaked.” He dove a finger into my entrance and curled in upwards, hitting that perfect spot. My body jerked forward against him as he quickly started up a dizzying pace. One of my hands moved down from around his neck, to grip onto his bicep to hold myself steady against him. A second finger was inserted and I started to moan with my lips pressed against his chest and my other hand clawed at his back. I felt his chest rumble happily under my face and I continued to melt at his touch. My breathing quickened as I started to feel lightheaded and he pulled me in for a kiss. I pulled away as my muscles started to tense up and I gripped at his biceps with my forehead pressed against his. I held my breath for a moment before jerking forward and reaching my climax. My muscles relaxed and I rested my head against his chest. I saw him place the fingers that had been in me, into his mouth and he licked them clean. When he finished he pulled me into a kiss where the taste of myself still lingered. 

He pulled off his underwear and sat down on the couch. He placed his hands onto my hips and spun me around. I started to pull off my underwear, and I quickly felt his hands on my thighs, helping me take them off. He spun me around again before his hands helped guide me down onto him, his girth filling me completely. One of his arms wrapped around my chest, pulling me up to him. His other hand went to my thigh creeping up between my folds to start rubbing the bundle of nerves. My hand clutched at his forearm across my chest while the other was placed onto his thigh to help me thrust himself into me. I started with a slow pace, thrusting short thrusts while rocking my hips back and forth as he placed sweet kisses along my neck and shoulder. Occasionally he would nip at my shoulder as I moaned, gripping tighter at his forearm.

I tilted my upper body to the right to look over my left shoulder as he reached around to kiss me. The kiss was desperate and our necks were strained, but it was so intimate. Our lips grazed against each other as I started to quicken my pace. His hand across my chest moved to grope my breast, and I broke the kiss to thrust my head back against his chest, closing my eyes and letting out a loud moan. He moved his hand to let his fingertip brush against my nipple as I continued to bounce onto his length that was consuming me with pleasure. Those deft fingers began to start pinching at my nipple, while the bouncing I was doing was causing tugging at it. His arm wrapped around my chest again while I called out his name in the form of a moan.

Quickly he pulled us onto our sides with my stomach hanging off of the edge of the couch. He hiked my thigh above his hip and placed gentle kisses onto the back of my neck as he started to thrust into me at a pace that started to make me feel lightheaded. He started to grunt against my skin and my nails broke the skin on his forearm as I clenched down tightly. Our muscles tensed as he started to thrust into me even harder. My heart was beating through my chest as I felt my walls clench down around him while I rode out my high. He continued on as he reached his shortly after, but even after giving his final few thrusts, we stayed together in that position… Holding each other tightly, enjoying our peace after the war we had just fought against each other as we caught our breaths and our muscles relaxed.

“I love you.” He whispered before placing a gentle kiss onto my shoulder.

“I love you too.” I purred while tracing my fingertips along his forearm that was still across my chest. We readjusted so he was laying down with his head propped up on the armrest and I was now laying down between his legs with my head on his chest. His hands drifted to the movements in my stomach as I turned my head to the side and he kissed my cheek.

“They’re always like this after we have sex…” He mumbled.

“They’re just cheering us on…” I teased while peeking up at him, but he just raised his brows.

“That’s just weird, Kessho.” He grumbled while I snorted.

“Like the way you wink?” I teased and he raised me some, placing ticklish kisses on my neck, making me giggle.

“What, like this?” He stopped the kisses, widened his eyes, and then winked while I scrambled to try and hide my face.

“It’s not normal!” I complained while he chuckled before placing more ticklish kisses onto my cheek. Once he stopped and we calmed down, I ran my knuckles against one of his forearms that had his hand on my stomach. I shivered and teleported a blanket for us to use, placing it over us both before returning to running my knuckles across his forearm.

“So what are some of these Anbu things that need to change? You mentioned uniforms?” He questioned while moving the back of his hand, running it against my cheek before placing his arm around my chest.

“Yeah, they’re too clunky. I get that for assassination missions that having the arm guards and such might be better, but not for intelligence gathering. It’s much better if they use something that will heighten their stealth so they don’t get caught in the first place.” I explained and he placed a kiss onto my cheek.

“Ok. I can agree with that.”

“And they’re all wearing hoods. I don’t need someone identifying my Anbu agents because they're the only one with navy colored hair.” I muttered while he chuckled before placing a kiss onto my cheek.

“That’s probably for the best.” He acknowledged. “There’s quite a bit more, isn’t there?” He mumbled while resting his head on top of mine.

“Yes… Like one of the things I want to do is adjust the Anbu profiles to exclude their names and photos along with any other identifiers other than a code name. This way if someone gets hold of their files to trade like Danzo did with Orochimaru, they won’t be at risk.” I suggested.

“Yes but we still need ways to identify them…” He pointed out. Silly man, of course I’ve thought of that.

“Which is why all Anbu agents will have a jonin profile as well. They’ll even go on jonin missions once every three months or so to feign the cover of being regular jonin.” I took his hand that was on my stomach, since the babies stopped kicking, and kissed the back of his hand. “We will have a master list containing only their names and code names. Two copies, one for you and one for me, written in code.” I explained further while looking at my flying raijin insignia on the inside of his palm.

“What kind of code?” He whispered into my ear as I traced the insignia with my thumb.

“I was thinking a numerical book code…” I suggested while I felt his chest rumble against the back of my head.

“What copy of Icha Icha should we use…?” He teased.

“You joke but I was actually thinking about using Icha Icha Violence.” I spoke with a serious tone while craning my head to look at him. He leaned over for a sweet kiss that slowly intensified as he squeezed his arm across my chest and his other hand interlocked fingers with mine. When he parted, he stayed close, so our lips would brush against each other as he spoke.

“How… Fitting.” He smiled before pressing his lips to mine again, breathing me into a kiss. It was slow, but longing, and I could feel heat building again between us. Still when he parted the kiss I let out a whimper while he chuckled and unlaced his fingers to trace my bottom lip. “All riled up again…” He chuckled before giving me a quick peck. “Your code name could be Lady Kunoichi.” He mumbled against my lips.

“I was thinking the same thing.” I told him before kissing him again sweetly as I felt him harden against my lower cheeks. I moaned into his mouth as his tongue darted in and his hand on my cheek lowered to grope my breast, causing me to arch my back. He broke the kiss and my hot breath blew against his neck.

“Why don’t you let me take care of you quickly…” He suggested with a deep dark voice that sent chills down my spine. I used my feet to push my hips up slightly to free his girth from under me. His hand wrapped around his length as I lowered myself back to resting up against him, this time shifting a little further up so our heads were level. He guided his hardness into me while wrapping his other arm across my chest and placing gentle kisses onto my shoulder. I gripped onto his forearm and moaned loudly. He started to thrust into me slowly, taking his time… Teasing almost as his other hand started to dip between my lower lips and rub at my clit that was still sensitive from not that long ago.

“Ka-aH!... Kashi-Eh!” I moaned out before starting to whimper. My whimpering worked as he quickened his pace, giving me deep, hard thrusts. One of my hands stayed on his forearm while the other gripped tightly onto his bicep. He squeezed me tighter so he could steady me to quicken to a dizzying pace as the heat between us built. I could feel out muscles tensing as he let out guttural grunts into my ear. My grip on his bicep tightened as I broke skin, yet again, as I held my breath. After another few thrusts I reached my climax and my walls clenched down on his girth, causing him to reach his. He gave a final few thrusts as he caught his breath and our muscles relaxed. I felt his chest rumble beneath me as he let out a satisfied hum. “I’m sorry I keep clawing at you.” I told him, but he just let out another hum and kissed my cheek.

“I like it… Reminds me I’m yours…” He cooed. I closed my eyes and turned on my side to nuzzle my face into his chest. He wrapped one arm around my waist, letting his hand rest on my stomach while his other arm reached across my chest with his fingertips tracing along my bicep. I relished in the closeness and intimacy of the moment where everything felt right again. “I have a condition… As your husband…” He spoke quietly and cautiously while my body tensed as I waited for him to continue. “No missions on any occasion that you’re pregnant.” He whispered… That might be hard, especially if there’s something dire to the safety of the leaf… But the risk of losing a child… Again… No. This will be fine.

“Ok. But I’m still training them and doing everything else!” I warned as he placed a kiss on the top of my head.

“Just… Be careful… Don’t let them get hurt.” He whispered.

“Kakashi… I would never let them get hurt… Besides…” I twisted my body, pushing up on him slightly to look him in the eyes. “My tattoo will protect all of us if it comes down to it. I won’t lose another.” I assured him by placing a quick peck on his lips before returning to my position on my side.

“What else?”

“Well they’re going to be trained differently… Offer classes of sorts. If they take the class to learn specialized jutsu, they widen their skill set, can be put on new missions.” I explained.

“You’ve been thinking about this, haven’t you?” He wondered while I shrugged.

“I mean… The more I learned about the Anbu, the more I was shocked about how it was run…” I shook my head and he chuckled. “I also want to change Anbu headquarters to where the foundation is located. The building is just as big and it’s far better concealed. Plus I liked Danzo’s meeting room as my office. There’s a room attached to it that I think could be changed into a private playroom for the kids while I’m working.” I finished.

“That might take a while to arrange… But it shouldn’t be a problem. Is there anything more… Controversial? Or are they all this simple?” He questioned with a chuckle. I sat up with the blanket on my side and he sat up pulling me into an embrace.

“There’s one that I don’t think you’ll like… But you’ll agree on the necessity.” I explained and his body tensed slightly.

“Go on…” He urged with a cautious tone.

“The biggest issue I have with the Anbu is how an organization that’s supposed to take pride in its secrecy is so… Unsecretive. For that reason I’m worried about intel leaks. I-“

“Cursed tongue seal?” He questioned and I nodded while burying my face into his chest. “No. I don’t want to force people like that.”

“I have a work around.” I mumbled into his chest. “I’ll put a strike system in place. If they violate it by leaking intel, they’ll get guard duty until I’m sure they’ve quelled their loose lips. If they continue to strike out three times, then they get a choice.” I clarified while looking out to the crib that was still in the box.

“Choice between what?”

“They can either take the option to place the cursed tongue seal to seal the leak. Or… We can decommission them. Erase all their memories of intel gathered and the people they encountered in the Anbu.” I explained, but his body was still rigid.

“I don’t know… It sounds like there will be enough safeguards in place already…” Kakashi reasoned, but I shook my head.

“Kakashi, I’ll be the Anbu commander. With you as Hokage and me as Anbu commander…” I started to breathe more heavily while caressing my stomach as my thoughts started to race.

“The kids…” He whispered and I nodded.

“Ok… But I think you should teach Ino the mind erase technique to help you with decommission.” He suggested as I let out a sigh of relief.

“That’s probably a good idea.” I acknowledged.

“We should probably get some food.” He cooed while running fingers through my hair. I let out a groan while I nuzzled my face into his chest.

“Can’t we just stay here…? With your warm arms around me…?” I questioned dreamily.

“Kessho… Tenzo told me you haven’t been eating much. We should really get you something to eat.” He insisted with a soothing but serious tone.

“I know I just… My stomach was up in knots with our fighting and I just never felt hungry…” I whined while I closed my eyes, enjoying feeling his fingers brushing my hair.

“Shh… It’s ok… I understand, but now you should eat. But… There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.” He started to sit up as he helped me sit up. This is serious… I turned to face him and looked at him in the eyes which were darting between mine. “I know it’s probably nothing… But there’s a nagging feeling in the back of my head. So small… But I need to get rid of it…” I placed my hand on his cheek and pulled his forehead to mine.

“What is it…?” I questioned while thumbing his cheek.

“I found you with Tenzo that one day… You were topless and had fallen asleep on him… Did you…?” His eyes darted faster, his hand gripped onto my wrist and he seemed to be holding his breath.

“Oh Kakashi… No… No… No…” I cooed before pulling him into a kiss. “I could never. It was my back… It had been hurting and I asked him to give me a massage, that’s all it was.” I assured and he let out a deep breath before burying his face in my neck.

“I didn’t think so but I just knew I couldn’t get the thought out of my head unless I asked.” He explained as I ran my hand up and down his back. “Wait.” His head snapped up. “Tenzo is probably still here. We should really go and get something to eat and then send him home…”

“Fuck. Yeah, you’re right.” We both laughed while we started to get dressed. Once I put on my maternity pants with Kakashi’s help, I grabbed his sweatshirt while he was putting on his skin tight shirt.

“That… Kessho, what am I supposed to wear?” He whined while I picked up the sweatshirt I came here with and I handed it to him. He raised his eyebrow and I pushed the sweatshirt against his chest. He rolled his eyes and put on the coral colored sweatshirt that said ‘it’s not a food baby.’ I started to giggle as he scrambled to put on his flak jacket. “Seriously, why do you always wear mine?” He grumbled and I pulled him into a hug.

“It makes me feel close to you even when you’re far away… And they make me feel safe…” I mumbled into his flak jacket. He brushed my hair to one side and started to rub my back before kissing the top of my head.

“Come on… Let’s go eat.”


	14. Is she kicking me?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:  
> Kakashi moved his papers aside and helped me sit up on his desk in front of him. He lowered his mask and spread my legs a little so he could scooch up between them, placing his arms around my hips and resting his head on my stomach. After propping myself up by resting my palm behind me on his desk, I laced my fingers in through his hair and started to massage his scalp.
> 
> “So you were able to teach her everything?” He asked while letting out a happy hum.
> 
> “I was. It turns out the guy Ibiki brought was someone I brought in originally.” I mentioned.
> 
> “Is that so?” He asked while yawning and I could feel one of the babies pushing up and out at Kakashi’s head. They were getting really strong in there… Whichever one that was kicking Kakashi seemed to have woken him up some as his usual half lidded eyes bursted open suddenly and I snickered. 

I knocked on his office door with one hand while holding the picnic basket in the other. “Come in!” He called out with an absent minded tone. I opened the door to see him working away on his paperwork. When he looked up he wore his closed eyed smile. “Kessho… I wasn’t expecting you today.” He spoke with a dreamy tone as I closed the door.

“Well I wanted to talk to you and I figured we could just make it a nice lunch.” I suggested while holding up the picnic basket. He raised his brows as he looked over his shoulder and behind the chair.

“You do know it’s snowing, right?” He replied while turning to me and pointing behind him out the window. I walked over to the space in front of the couch, pulled out the blanket, and laid it on the ground.

“Is the snow somehow going to prevent you from eating?” I retorted, making sure my voice was laced with sarcasm. I heard him chuckle as he got up from behind his desk and came to sit in front of me where I was pulling out the bento boxes. I handed him the chopsticks as I started to dig in.

“So you mentioned wanting to talk?” He questioned with a serious tone as he peeked up from his food.

“Well I know we agreed on me waiting until Kurenai’s and Asuma’s child was born before I started with the Anbu transition, so I could make sure to be there for the delivery…” I started while stealing glances.

“Mhmmm…”

“And Mirai was born, and she’s adorable, and precious and…” I drifted off as I started to rub my stomach over the soft obi.

“Less than three months.” He cooed as he reached out to place his hand next to mine over my growing stomach. I grinned before biting my bottom lip at the thought. I shook my head quickly while remembering why I came here in the first place. Right.

“And we said that we’d start the transition now. It’s been a week since she was born.” I reminded him while staring him down.

“Maybe we should wait until after you give birth… I mean you’re going to be giving birth soon and the previous commander said he was fine waiting until-“ I held up my finger pointed at him with my lips tight.

“You gave me your word Hatake! You better not be trying to weasel your way out of this!” I snapped with my eyes narrowed and his eyes widened for a brief moment. He took the hand that was pointing at him and held it between his.

“No. I’m not… It was just a suggestion. If you want to start tomorrow, you can start tomorrow.” He answered cautiously before kissing the back of my hand.

“Good.” I sat up straight and puffed out my chest some. “I’ll start tomorrow then.”

“I’ll have to talk to Shikamaru to rearrange things… Would you be mad if it gets pushed a day or two?” He wondered while peeking up from his hung head.

“No… Just… Don’t go back on your word.” I placed my hand on his bicep and rubbed. “Ok?” He nodded before eating one of the slices of the orange.

“You sure you’re going to be ok? You wouldn’t rather wait?” He questioned with concern in his voice.

“No, it’ll be fine…” I assured while gently guiding his head onto my lap as he plopped the last orange slice into his mouth. I ran my fingers through his hair and started massaging at his scalp. “You know… It’s been a while since you’ve spoken to them…” I sang while he relaxed with his eyes closed.

“Considering I’ve only done it once…” He chuckled with his eyes still closed and a smile on his.

“They can hear you. Speaking to them will help them recognize you after they’re born.” I explained as his eyes opened. He shifted his positioning so his head was turned on its side with his eyes facing my stomach. His hands reached behind and started to undo the soft obi. “What are you doing?” I questioned.

“I want them to hear me better.” He pouted while undoing my koshihimo, which I let him do. He exposed my stomach and started to rub it before his eyes drifted to me. “What should I say…?” He asked with his brows raised, sounding almost… Worried.

“Whatever you want to…” I told him while taking off his forehead protector, so I could start running my fingers through his hair. “Last time you were talking about things you were going to do with them… Why don’t you talk more about that?” I suggested and he let out a happy hum.

“Well… I am very excited to see you both… My two sweet girls… I’ll read to you all the time… Even if it's here in my office and I’m reading you my boring paperwork.” I chuckled as he continued. “But I promise to read you bedtime stories too, when I’m home in time for bedtime. When you’re older I’ll help you with school when you’re at the academy… If you go to the academy. Point is I’ll help you with school. I’ll tell you the story about the white fang…” He started to smile his closed eyed smile. “And the story of how I met your mom… Though I might leave some parts out.” We both chuckled. “I’ll tell you all about Naruto, and how I was his sensei, and how he became Hokage, just like your dad.” There was a knock at the door before it opened and he quickly shut my kimono and raised his mask before sitting up with a jolt. I held my kimono shut as I peered over my shoulder to see an oblivious Shikamaru grabbing at a few papers on his desk. Shikamaru finally looked up to see us both frozen in place.

“Uh Lord Sixth, Kessho-Sensei! I’m sorry I didn’t-“ Shikamaru stuttered while staring at the soft obi on the ground with wide eyes and red cheeks.

“It’s fine, he was talking to the babies.” I corrected any dirty thought’s he might’ve been having… Which considering what we’ve done here, it wouldn't be completely off base…

“I’m sorry I’ll leave.” Shikamaru looked down, hiding his face and started to run out.

“Wait!” I called out while tying my kimono shut with the koshihimo and Kakashi grabbed my wrist.

“What are you doing?” He muttered with his face still blushing furiously red while I started to put on my soft obi.

“We need to talk to you about something.” I told Shikamaru while tapping the spot beside me. Shikamaru hesitated before walking over and taking a seat next to me. Kakashi had one brow raised while Shikamaru tilted his head to the side both looking at me. “I’m assuming you know that I’m going to be starting the Anbu commander position this week.”

“I didn’t know it was this week, but I’ll make the arrangements for Lord Sixth-“

“Please drop the Lord.” Kakashi pleaded while resting his face on his palm and elbow on his knee.

“Ca-can I go now?” Shikamaru asked while rubbing the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry that you walked in on us like that, but this is important.” I assured while staring into Shikamaru’s eyes. “I hate that I have to ask this of you, but I know you’re the right person to ask of this, what with your intellect and knowledge of my… Abilities…” I drifted off and he folded his arms across his chest with his brow raised. “Lord Third told me long ago that if there ever was a power struggle for the Hokage position, to go seek out your father because he’ll have the intellect and foresight to see beyond personal bias and act in the best interest of the leaf. I believe you have those same qualities.” I spoke while placing a hand onto Shikamaru’s shoulder while he looked down to the basket, with his mind elsewhere.

“I’m not sure I like where this is going.” Shikamaru commented.

“I tend to be a little too… excitable for getting missions, and I’ll probably want to assign some to myself when it’s not needed.” I explained while Shikamaru started to rub the back of his neck.

“I’m really not liking where this is going…” Shikamaru whined.

“Kakashi is a little too the opposite, he won’t let me go on missions even though I probably should be the one to go on them.” I continued explaining and Shikamaru groaned. “Shikamaru, you’re the only one we trust to be impartial enough, who also knows enough about me to make an informed decision about this. I wouldn’t ask this of you unless I thought it necessary.” I insisted while I watched him closely, waiting for his decision. He turned to me with an annoyed look in his eyes before closing them and facing the ceiling.

“You’re right… It has to be me… What a drag…” Shikamaru groaned while dragging his words as I practically lept to hug him. Which normally I wouldn’t but… Hormones.

“Thank you.” Shikamaru’s body tensed and I pulled away as I felt myself relax. “Really, this will help a lot.” I encouraged.

“Can I go now?” Shikamaru whined and I nodded. He slowly got up with the papers he originally came in for and left, closing the door behind him.

“Did you need to do that now?” Kakashi asked while lowering his mask again and returning to resting his head on my lap.

“Well better we do it now than later.” I told him while running my fingers through his hair again.

“Yeah but you can’t even go on missions yet.” He mentioned while reaching over his head and placing his hands onto my stomach.

“True… But better to get this sorted now before I encounter any missions I think I should go on.” I reasoned.

“I suppose…” He sighed.

“So you’re going to come introduce me, right? I have a feeling if a pregnant woman shows up and declares themselves Anbu commander, they won’t really be believed.” I joked as I started to massage his scalp again.

“Yeah I’ll be there.” He agreed after laughing. “So will the previous Anbu commander, to help with the transition. Though he might be lost with all the changes you plan on implementing. Plus there’s the whole ceremony.”

“Ceremony? Is there some garb I’m supposed to wear? I’ve only ever seen them with that mask and that cloak…” I made a face at the thought of having to wear something like some haori and Kakashi chuckled.

“No, no garb.” He teased while grabbing my hand in his and placing a kiss on the back of my palm.

“Good. Hmph.” I placed my other hand on my hip and nodded to myself. “We might need to push it back a few days… I need to get a uniform made that’s… Baby appropriate.” I told him while motioning to my stomach. He rolled over to lay on his stomach and rested his chin on his palms.

“Just let me know when you need me and I’ll set it up, though the sooner you let me know, the better.” He smiled and patted the blanket. “I do need to get back to work though.” He mentioned as he got up. I started to pack everything back into the basket that we used on our hikes that we would take for his photography hobby, with me tagging along.

“It’s been a while since we’ve gone on a hike…” I commented while reminiscing.

“I know… I don’t think I’ll even really have time for my camera anymore.” He sighed as he sat down behind his desk as I scooched off the blanket to fold it.

“You could always take it with you on trips where you have to visit other villages for your Hokage stuff…” I suggested while using the couch to push myself up. When I turned around to face him, he gave me his closed eyed smile.

“That’s a great idea.” He hummed as I walked over to him.

“I’m just sad I won’t get to see that face you make when you're photographing.” I told him while placing a hand onto his shoulder. He looked up at me with his head tilted to the side before twirling me and pulling me onto his lap.

“What do you mean?” He asked while nuzzling into my neck.

“You always have this face of wonder when you look into the lens… Like absolute pure joy.” I murmured while holding his head against my neck as he placed soft kisses and ran his hand up my outer thigh while the other held my back.

“You mean how you make me feel?” He cooed into my ear as I giggled.

“If that’s how I make you feel-“

“It is.” He whispered.

“Then…” I smiled to myself as I cupped his face and pulled him in for a quick peck. “I’ll try my best to keep you feeling that way.” I mumbled against his lips as he smiled. He pressed his forehead to mine and turned his smile to his closed eyed one.

“You just did.” He whispered and right then and there, my heart melted. “Now as much as I’d just love to stay in this wonderful bubble, I do have to work.” He commented as he helped me off his lap.

“You’re the one who pulled me onto your lap, Lord Sixth.” I purred into his ear while bent over and he let out a guttural growl. I placed one hand onto where I predicted his growing length to be (it was) and smoothed over it while I lowered his mask to place a kiss onto his cheek.

“You’re a tease and I’ll get you back for this.” He growled and I made sure he felt my smile pressed against his cheek.

“Whatever you say-Ah!” He slammed a bruising hand onto one of my lower cheeks. “Lord Sixth…” I purred as he groped where he just smacked. I pulled away and I could see his smirk behind his mask. After smoothing over his now hardened length one more time, I removed my hand and headed towards the door.

“Kessho.” He called out. I looked over my shoulder to see his lap was completely underneath the desk, but his face was serious as he lowered his mask. “I love you.” He spoke with the corners of his lips turned upwards.

“I love you too.” I smiled with the basket in one hand and the other hand on the door. He raised his mask and with that I left his office. Tenzo just started to walk up the steps, likely back from his own lunch. He gave me a quick wave and a smile.

“Based on your smile I assume it went well?” He questioned while holding out his arm. I put my arm through his as we started to make our way out of the building.

“It did. Seems he was just waiting for me to bring it up. I need to stop at the tailors though. I need to have a new uniform made for the position.” I explained as we walked out of the Hokage tower and into the falling flurries of snow. I held out my other hand and caught a few as we started to walk towards the tailors.

“Anything else you want to get done today?” He wondered while looking up at the falling snow himself.

“Yeah… I think I should teach Ino the forbidden Yamanaka jutsu. Just in case things need to be taken care of at the start of shit.” I wonder if Ino’s at the flower shop… She probably is. I’ll also need to talk to her about developing a jutsu to make sure I can read the minds of my agents while they have mindblocks on… Maybe if I adjust them to be at the right frequency…?

“Ooooo, I wouldn’t mind going to a flower shop!” He beamed, of course he would. I knew Tenzo would understand my talents as a part of me ever since he put in those planters on the windowsills in the hallway upstairs. He knew I enjoyed the occasional gardening, but he took gardening to a whole new level. Spring is going to be nice. We can spend some time in the garden finally, which I’ve been wanting to do ever since he was assigned to me, but nothing grows in winter. “Maybe we can pick up some seeds for your tea garden, so we have them ready to plant after the last frost.” He suggested with a wide grin plastered on his face.

“Sure thing Tenzo, whatever you want.” I teased, but he was far too happy to let my teasing get to him right now as we walked into the tailors.

“Lady Hatake!” The elderly Hana rushed up taking her short little steps with closed eyes and an excited grin on her face. “It’s so great to see you! Are you here for another kimono? How’s Lord Sixth liking them? I have gotten so much more business ever since the inauguration! Everyone wants to see what the Hokage’s wife is wearing!” She started to ramble as she pulled me towards the back whisking me away while Tenzo simply gave me a smirk and a wave after having grabbed onto the picnic basket I was holding.

“I’m glad I could help.” I went along past the doors and into the fitting room where she immediately started to take measurements along my stomach. “I’m actually here for something else.” I spoke in my most serious and dire tone. She stopped taking measurements and made her way to face me. “This order cannot be put on the books.” I paused for a moment to check that nobody was listening in and that there was nobody nearby. “Nobody can know you are making it. If someone asks about it, you immediately dismiss them and you either come to find me, or go directly to the Hokage himself, is this understood?” Her eyes darted between mine with her lips slightly parted. “I trust you, Hana, and you’re the person I can ask this of.” She let out a little hmph, gave herself a nod, and tugged down at the hem of her blouse.

“I will take this as seriously as any shinobi takes their missions!” She dictated while going to her desk where she drafted sketches and she ruffled through a drawer. “Now come, come.” She ordered while gesturing with her hand. “Draw me a sketch of what you want.” She ordered while handing me a pen. I very poorly drew a sketch of my usual uniform, only this time as a one piece suit. “Alright, I’ll do this, but the hood will have to be clasped on somehow while the suit has a zipper in the back. I assume that will be fine?”

“Yes. That should be fine. Make them black.” I instructed while she nodded. She then took my hand and led me in front of the 3 pane mirror and began to undo my soft obi. I quickly did my transformation ninjutsu to conceal my tattoos and helped her take off my kimono. Once that was off, she began to take measurements. After she finished taking the measurements, she helped me put the kimono back on and wrote the measurements alongside the sketch. “Keep that sketch hidden, and burn it after you’re done with it.” I instructed while pointing at it.

“I figured as much, I might be old but I’m not brain dead!” She grumbled while putting away the sketch into her pocket.

“When should I expect it?” I questioned while pulling out some money from my tabi socks.

“It will take about three days considering nobody is supposed to know I’m working on it and I need to keep up with all my regular work to make sure nobody suspects. I’ll also be charging my usual fee since this is more of a hassle.” She ordered while making notes on the sketch as I chuckled to myself and counted the money.

“This isn’t your first time, is it?” I teased while handing her the money.

“I don’t know what you mean.” She grumbled while she snatched the money out of my hands and I snickered.

“Thank you Hana, I’ll be here to pick up my next kimono in three days.” I bowed politely and made my way out of the backroom to see Tenzo waiting at the entrance while looking out the window at all the different people. “Ready to go?” I questioned while coming up behind Tenzo.

“Yeah, let’s go.” He opened the door for me and we started to make our way to the Yamanaka flower shop. The bell rang when we walked inside to see Ino working on a flower arrangement.

“Kessho-sensei!” Ino called out before finishing the last touches of the arrangement to then walk over to me. “What brings you here?” She questioned while Tenzo walked along to take a look at the different seeds.

“I need to teach you the Yamanaka forbidden jutsu.” I told her which led her to suddenly pull me aside and into a corner.

“Should you be saying that out loud with Yamato here?!” She whisper shouted while I chuckled.

“Relax, he knows everything.” I told her while waving her off and she huffed while crossing her arms across her chest. “I want to teach you because I might need your help with my new position. I’m going back to the Anbu.” I explained while making sure my mind was open and keeping myself alert to my surroundings. “I’d also like to make sure I can tap into the sensor barrier myself to keep an eye on it.”

“Yeah, we can arrange for the sensor barrier easily, but how are we going to practice for you to teach me the forbidden jutsu?” She wondered.

“I’m sure we can go to Ibiki and find someone who they’ve been struggling to get intel out of.” I waved her off again while she thought about it for a moment.

“Would Ibiki really have someone that even he couldn’t break?” Ino pondered while pursing her lips.

“Well if they have a cursed tongue seal, then yes. Ibiki can’t make someone speak who physically can’t, so if your dad wasn’t able to break through the mindblocks, then yeah… Although I suppose there’s probably some people out there who won’t even break under Ibiki, so that’s always possible too… Doesn’t hurt to go down and ask.” I spoke more to myself than to her.

“True… One problem, I can walk in there just fine, you… Nobody knows you… So what do you plan on doing for that?” She insisted while eyeing me closely.

“I’ll just go in with my Anbu mask. I’ll have to stop by my place and change though, be able to show my Anbu tattoo for verification. Plus I can always have him verify with Lord Sixth.” I reasoned while Ino shrugged.

“Good enough for me! I’ll meet you there then.” She started to close the shop but Tenzo quickly ran up with his seeds before she finished with the register. I giggled some to myself while I waited by the door for Tenzo. He smiled looking through his bag at all of the seed packets. We started to make our way back home and Tenzo was telling me all about the seeds he picked, what each one was, what they can be used for, and why he liked them so much. It was kind of adorable how he was excitedly going on and on about them. I listened in carefully and as we approached the house he started pointing out to where each one would go. “Wait, those are for my garden?”

“Well yeah… I don’t have a house with a garden… I just live in an apartment…” He mumbled as he started to slump his shoulders before starting to rub his neck. “I guess I should’ve asked first.” He chuckled nervously.

“Tenzo, it’s fine. Really. You’re more than welcome to use my garden anytime. Plus it will be nice to have an expert. I don’t really know what I’m doing. It took a lot of trial and error to get what I have now.” I chuckled as he relaxed and smiled as we walked inside the house.

“Well I don’t know that I’m an expert or anything, but I’m happy to help!” He called out while I changed out from my kimono to pregnancy pants, a tank top, and a hoodie. When I headed out to the door I noticed Tenzo had taken off his flak jacket and face protector and was reading one of his architecture books. I started to put on my boots and he sat up with a jerk as he put the book back down onto the coffee table. “Are we going somewhere?” He questioned wearily.

“Yeah we’re headed to the barrier core and then to T&I. I still need to teach Ino the forbidden jutsu.” I explained while grabbing my coat.

“Oh! I wasn’t listening in so I didn’t hear you guys talk about that.” He mentioned while scrambling to put his uniform back on. I put on my coat over the hoodie and ran back to get the owl mask while turning my hand that was holding it, invisible, to keep it concealed. “You just going to hold it like that?” He questioned with his eyebrow raised while pointing to my invisible hand.

“I think that pulling my pants down to teleport it would somehow be more obvious, so yes.” I reasoned.

“And the clothes?” He asked with a dubious tone.

“I’ll handle it, just… Let’s go.” I muttered and put on the mask instead, performed the camouflage jutsu, and walked with my hands on Tenzo’s shoulders as we made our way to the barrier core. Once we got to the barrier core, I revealed myself, having taken off my coat and shrugging off the sleeve of the hoodie to expose my Anbu tattoo while maintaining the hood up to hide my hair. Ino then took me to the barrier to interact with it, which then allowed me to tune into it and keep it on for me to check in and watch from the back of my head anytime I needed. After everything was said and done at the barrier core, I put my hoodie back on, along with my coat, and headed out to the Torture and Interrogation Division. Given that Ino was head of the barrier core, there were no questions asked about my presence, Ibiki however was not as easy going. He was taking his new position as head of the Intelligence Division very seriously.

“You’re not getting any further without identification. I don’t care if you’re part of the Anbu.” Ibiki demanded while holding his arms across his chest, towering over both Ino and I.

“Ino, would you mind contacting Lord Sixth for us?” I asked calmly without taking my eyes off of Ibiki, who was staring back at me with matching intensity.

“Why can’t you?” Ino questioned. This very question is why she is much better suited to work in intelligence than in the Anbu.

“Because I’m not a Yamanaka.” I stated just as calmly as before while Ino chuckled nervously for a couple seconds before nodding. After a few moments of Ibiki’s stares, I saw his muscles relax while Ino’s lips parted in shock.

“New Anbu commander, huh? Well why didn’t you just say that?” He questioned with a brow raised.

“Would you have believed me if I had told you that?” I retorted, now raising my own brow.

“Hmph. I suppose not. Right this way Lady Kuniochi.” He motioned for me to walk along ahead of him as we walked towards where they held the prisoners. He then led us into an interrogation room where he told us to wait.

“You didn’t tell me you were going to be Anbu commander!” Ino whisper shouted while hitting my exposed bicep.

“Quite frankly, the less people know, the better. I’m not happy Kakashi told him, though I suppose as the new head of Intelligence, he’d find out eventually.” I reasoned while avoiding her gaze, looking head on to the one-way mirror. Ibiki came in and shoved in a man with his wrists shackled to his biceps, to prevent him from doing any jutsu. His hair was long and messy, a dark brown with dark green eyes that were flecked with brown. They bore a goatee that way poorly maintained, although not very long, and had stubble along the rest of their jaw. The man had circles under his eyes and his head hung fairly low, clearly tired and not wanting to be here. Must’ve been stuck in T&I for a long time.

“He goes by the name Ogawa Arata.” Ibiki spoke after closing the door behind him to then toss the file on the table between the man and I. “He’s been here for years, got somewhat lost in the system after the Konoha attack that killed Lord Third.” Ibiki forced the man to sit in the chair across from me and that’s when the man’s eyes grew wide and he started to shake his head. “Lord Third had mentioned that he might have someone who could break down the mind barriers that Inoichi couldn’t, but he never had the chance to set it up.” Ibiki explained as the man started to try and push his chair back and away.

“No, no, no, not them!” The man shouted while trying to get away from me. It seems he knows me, but I don’t recognize him.

“What is he in for?” I asked without moving a muscle. Ino picked up the folder and started to read through it.

“It says here he stole a scroll from the Hyuga clan. Something that contained clan secrets.” She mumbled while looking through the file as the man continued to try to push back in his seat.

“Yes, but he sold it off before I caught him.” I remembered while staring at him. He was clean shaven when I caught him. Wow… That was before I even moved here.

“You caught him? Impressive… Though, I suppose that’s why you’re going to be the next Anbu commander.” I peered at Ibiki from the corner of my eye to see he had raised his eyebrow briefly but went back to a relaxed forward facing stance, almost like one you would give to your superior. That might take some getting used to…

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to be left alone with him and Ino.” I demanded with a tranquil tone.

“Yes of course Lady Kunoichi.” He bowed his head and left, closing the door behind him. The man was tense in his seat, pushing it back to the point where it might tip over.

“If you fall over I’m not helping you up.” I warned keeping an even tone. He hesitated but after a moment decided to let the chair fall forward. “Good choice.” I commented, though he remained equally tense. “I’m not here to hurt you, or paralyze you either. I’m here to look through your memories.” I informed and his demeanor changed. He leaned forward some, with relaxed muscles and a smirk on his face.

“Your head of Intelligence couldn’t break through my mind barriers, what makes you think you can?” He scoffed.

“Remember what happened last time you underestimated me?” I smiled sinisterly behind my mask as I watched him gulp while the color drained from his face.

“I remember your face! I’ll tell anyone who listens what you look like!” He shouted in a flurry of panic.

“You really think I would be dumb enough to not use a disguise?” I asked while remaining in my seat. “This won’t hurt and the sooner it is done, the better for you.” I told him while making the hand signs for the transformation jutsu under the table to disguise my belly and give myself the one I used to have before I was pregnant. With that I got up and walked around to him with Ino following me closely. I placed my hand onto his head and started working on breaking down the mindblocks. This was going to take some time… I started to widen my footing to help with the standing for so long; despite the jutsu hiding my pregnancy, all the weight and feeling of them still remained. After what was probably something like an hour, I managed to get past all the mindblocks. I opened my eyes and nodded to Ino who then placed her hand on Arata’s head. There we both entered his mind space using the psycho mind transmission jutsu.

“Alright, so what now sensei?” Ino asked as she walked towards Arata’s brain.

“First we need to find out his memory of the scroll. It’s the reason why he’s here, and I honestly don’t see there being reason for us to erase any other memories that don’t pertain to the security of the village.” I instructed and Ino nodded as she began to pull out scrolls containing Arata’s memories as she went through them. “I’ll help as well.” I told her as I approached the brain and started going through the different memory scrolls. The memories appeared in chronological order based on the first scroll I grabbed, which given the position I was in, seemed to be more recent memories. When I continued to go through, I could see how mundane and boring his confinement was, so I sped through along… It was kind of like watching a movie in fastforward.

“I think I’ve found it sensei!” Ino called out. I put the scroll I had currently been looking through back into his mind before walking over to Ino. I took a look at the memory and saw him taking the scroll. I kept going further and… He seemed to have sold the scroll to a man at Rei’s bar shortly before I was captured. I suspected something like that had happened, but given the orders from Lord Third and the next mission I was given, I never pursued the matter further.

“Alright Ino, we’re going to erase the memory from when he stole the scroll, including the location of the bar, to right when I drop him off. I want him to have no memory of me or the bar whatsoever. Understood?” I questioned to affirm.

“Ok, but how do I do that?” She asked with her brows raised and motioned to the scroll.

“Right. Basically you cut out that piece of the scroll and roll it up and put it into your own brain. That’s why it can never be erased and why the memory never fades from your mind. It’ll live in the back of your head forever… Sure you won’t always think about it, but when you do, it’s like reliving the entire thing all over again. That’s why it’s a forbidden jutsu… Depending on what you erase… It can eat away at your soul.” I shuddered while trying to push out the memories from that mission where I took down that ring… Kakashi… Think about Kakashi. Think about the thought of him holding one of our babies underneath the cherry blossom tree… His closed eyed smile as he reaches out to grab onto the tea I brought him…

“Kessho!” Ino shouted, snapping me out of my thoughts. My eyes met hers to see her brows furrowed. “Did I do it right?” She wondered, but truthfully I wasn’t paying attention.

“Can you recall the memory?” I asked while checking the scroll where the memory originally was.

“Yes. Very vividly… I can also feel how nervous he was to meet that one guy, how greedy he was with the money, and how terrified he felt of you when you paralyzed him…” She trailed off as I saw that the memory had been erased from the scroll. “Wait… Why don’t you just destroy the scroll itself?” She wondered aloud while touching her chin with her fingertip as her arm was across her chest.

“It can cause brain damage, and if you don’t do it correctly, they can recall back on the memory, kind of like it repairs itself… Also to alter memories, you write over them. If you want to erase certain parts harder to remember, or blurry, you just smudge the ink. Those methods won’t force you to contain the memory yourself, but again… You run the risk of having them put pieces together, or even know that something was missing in the first place.” I explained while placing the memories back into his brain before undoing the jutsu. When I came back to it I lost balance and leaned back on the table behind me. Must’ve used up more chakra than I thought to break down those mindblocks… And these two little shinobi in my belly certainly do use up plenty of chakra. I looked down to see my stomach showing so I quickly turned away from Atara and walked out of the room, just hoping he hadn’t noticed my stomach… Not that there was much he could do anyways, but I didn’t need to give him anymore fuel. I pulled on the sleeve of my hoodie to put it back on and zipped it up before walking out to the main entrance to see Tenzo.

_Sensei wait! Is something wrong?_ Ino asked while having started the mind transmission.

_No I’m just… Breaking down the mindblocks took more out of me than I thought. I’m going to go home now… And Ino…_

_Yes Kessho-sensei?_ Ino questioned while sounding slightly concerned.

_Do not use this jutsu recklessly. Only use it when absolutely necessary. I don’t know it’s limits, or what happens if you have too many memories accumulated… There’s still a lot unknown about it that we don’t want to find out as it may not be reversible. Do you understand?_ I warned while trying to lay it on as thick as I could.

_Yes sensei. I understand and I promise to not use this jutsu unless needed for the protection of my family or my village._ She acknowledged before ending the transmission.

“You there?” Tenzo asked with his head tilted to the side.

“Yeah… Sorry…” I answered while I grabbed my coat from him and put it on.

“Home?” He wondered and I shook my head.

“I need to go speak to Kakashi first.” I explained while starting the invisibility jutsu. Tenzo sighed as I put my hands on his shoulders and he led me to Kakashi’s office.

“Tenzo?” Kakashi asked when we walked into his office. “Where’s Kessho?” He questioned with a sudden fear in his voice and I saw him peering around before I turned to close and lock the door so I could reveal myself while unbuttoning my coat. He let out a sigh of relief and placed his fingertips onto his forehead as his head hung. I approached his desk and took off my mask while pulling down my hood as he slowly lifted his head to look me in the eyes. “You look tired, everything ok?” He asked as he took one of the hands I had placed onto his desk into his.

“I’m ok, he had an obscene amount of mindblocks up though… Which is suspicious in itself… He should probably be investigated now that I’ve broken through them.” I suggested as I took my hand back to walk around his desk while placing my mask onto one of his paper piles.

“I’ll go wait outside.” Tenzo mentioned before using the phasing jutsu to go through the locked door. Kakashi moved his papers aside and helped me sit up on his desk in front of him. He lowered his mask and spread my legs a little so he could scooch up between them, placing his arms around my hips and resting his head on my stomach. After propping myself up by resting my palm behind me on his desk, I laced my fingers in through his hair and started to massage his scalp.

“So you were able to teach her everything?” He asked while letting out a happy hum.

“I was. It turns out the guy Ibiki brought was someone I brought in originally.” I mentioned.

“Is that so?” He asked while yawning and I could feel one of the babies pushing up and out at Kakashi’s head. They were getting really strong in there… Whichever one that was kicking Kakashi seemed to have woken him up some as his usual half lidded eyes bursted open suddenly and I snickered. 

“Yeah and it turns out he sold the Hyuga scroll he stole to someone at Rei’s bar.” I remarked just as Kakashi’s eyes had grown half lidded again despite my little shinobi not letting up with their punching and kicking.

“What are you on about?” Kakashi grumbled sleepily.

“I don’t want anyone going to Rei’s bar. It’s off limits. If there’s anything to ever be checked out, I’ll do it myself.” I warned and he let out a mixture between an annoyed sigh and a hum.

“That’s fine. I know there’s more, so what is it?” He muttered with his eyes closed now while I switched hands.

“It’s been years since this happened. I’m talking about before I even moved here. All I want to do is to stop by at Rei’s bar, ask if he knows who the dude is, and then pick it up after giving birth. Maybe even after fully setting up the Anbu.” I explained calmly while I waited for his reaction. He lifted his head up with his brows furrowed while looking at my stomach. He then unzipped my hoodie, lifted my tank top, and stared at my stomach and how it was moving up at where his head was.

“Is she kicking me?!” He questioned in disbelief with furrowed brows and a shake of his head.

“You were squishing them.” I reasoned while holding up the palm that had been in his hair while shrugging. He chuckled and placed a kiss onto my stomach, right where his head previously was.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled to the baby with his lips brushing against my skin. He started to rub my stomach at where the baby was still kicking, trying to calm her I suppose…

“So? Can I go?” I questioned while placing a hand onto his cheek and thumbing it. He raised his eyes to meet mine, half lidded and lazy. His eyes then narrowed as he folded his arms across his chest and sat back in his chair, slouching.

“So you want to go and you really expect me to believe you’ll just leave it at finding this man’s whereabouts and not want to pursue them…?” He sunk further into his chair, slouching so that his back was barely touching the back of the chair.

“I promise. Look…” I breathed in deeply and exhaled through my nose. “I don’t want to cause any strain between us and… I don’t want to risk anything this far into the pregnancy either.” He stayed in his position and simply raised his brow. “I want to go now because it’ll be a few days before my uniform is ready and I’ll probably be too busy to do this once I start with the Anbu stuff and won’t be able to get to it for a while.” I told him while rubbing one of my calves against his outer thigh and he loosened his arms some while keeping them crossed.

“I don’t want to fight either…” He sighed and leaned over again to rest his head on my stomach while wrapping his arms around my hips. I ran one of my hands into his hair and started to massage his scalp again. “Fiiiiine.” He groaned while closing his eyes. “But only because it’s Rei and I know he’ll protect you. Also Tenzo’s going!” He grumbled while squeezing my lower cheeks.

“I wouldn’t dream of leaving without Tenzo.” I cooed while leaning down some and I felt the kicks and punches start up again, this time from both of them. One twin was punching the other, while the other was punching and kicking Kakashi.

“I’ll miss you… And my two little girls… Even if they are punching me right now…” He murmured while finishing with a chuckle.

“I’ll miss you too… It’ll only be a couple days… We won’t stay more than a night. I’ll leave first thing tomorrow morning.” I told him while moving my hand from his hair to his cheek, caressing it with my thumb. He moved one of his hands to grab onto my wrist and kiss the inside of my palm.

“Good… I’ll meet you at home after I finish up here.” He remarked before kissing my stomach and lowering my tank top. I raised my eyebrows and stared him down.

“You really pretending like you’ll be home in an hour?” I questioned while layering doubt in my tone.

“After what you did to me earlier today…?” He growled while moving his hand from my hip to the inside of one of my thighs, running it up until his palm rested flush up against my heat as he stood up. His lips pressed onto mine in a fervent kiss as he pressed his middle finger against the restrictive clothing and I could feel myself starting to get aroused by his touch. His strong, deft hand gripped onto the back of my neck while he parted the kiss to nose his way to my ear. The feeling of his hot breath on my ear, his tight hold on the back of my neck, his hand literally cupping my arousal… This man knows how to tease me so well… “I can smell it on you.” He whispered, so I grabbed onto the back of his neck and palmed my other hand onto his length that I could feel slowly hardening at my touch.

“Then you know better than to keep me waiting…” I purred into his ear before sliding off of his desk. As I turned around, I made sure to rub myself and thrust my hips back onto him as I slid out from under his hold before making my way to the door while gripping onto the mask that I grabbed from atop the pile of papers.

“You might need to wait a bit longer now… That I need to try to regain my focus.” He growled through gritted teeth. I turned around with my back pressed to the door as he leaned forward over his desk, softening some as he did. I half smiled before biting the corner of my bottom lip while blushing.

“You’re worth waiting for…” I smiled again while looking to the floor, stealing glances to see him blush and show me his closed eyed smile before pulling up his mask.

“That was surprisingly sweet and cheesy. These hormones are really doing things to you, huh?” He teased before we both laughed.

“Yeah…” I trailed off before looking up at him again. “I mean it though. All of it.” I told him before pursing my lips and turning around to open the door. When I opened it I saw Tenzo waiting out in the hall with Guy and I immediately hid my mask behind my back as Guy rolled himself in.

“Kessho! It’s so nice to see you here, glowing with the essence of youth growing within you!” He beamed as he always does as I laughed nervously while making the signs to hide my hand that was holding my mask by making it invisible. “How are the two little young youths, the future of Konoha, the sequels to my great rival?!” He boomed with a smile so wide and teeth so brilliant you can practically see them glint in the glow of the sunset. His voice always seemed to rile these two up, as they started twisting and turning inside my stomach now.

“Why don’t you see for yourself?” I asked while lifting up my tank top with a smile as I peeked over at Kakashi. He was coming around the desk to then rest in front of it. While I was watching Kakashi, Guy placed his hands onto my stomach and felt my two little back flipping shinobi. “They always seem excited when they hear you Guy.” I chuckled as Guy’s mouth parted in awe.

“Those two are some strong youths you have there! Between these two and Mirai, the future of Konoha is as bright as ever!” Guy exclaimed while turning to Kakashi.

“Thank you, Guy. I’m going to head out. I’m feeling a little tired.” I confessed as I started to pull down my tank top. Kakashi walked over to me and placed his hand onto the small of my back while leaning into my ear.

“I’ll be a little while longer, but wait for me.” He cooed into my ear. I nodded and headed out towards Tenzo where I placed my hand onto his shoulder and used the flying raijin.

“So…? What happened?” Tenzo questioned as I headed towards the bedroom.

“We leave tomorrow morning to head to Rei’s bar.” I told him before heading into the bedroom and closing the door behind me.


	15. I don't want to hear it!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:  
> “I’m sorry I got all… Fussy.” He grumbled. “I’m just…” He trailed off while sitting up as I started to lay onto my side in my futon while facing Tenzo. “I’m really excited to be Uncle Tenzo…” He confessed while trailing off into a whisper.
> 
> “Awww… Tenzo!” I smiled widely as he crossed his arms and turned away to hide his face.
> 
> “You guys are the closest thing to family I have…” He mentioned as he unfolded his arms and turned on his side to face me.
> 
> “You are family, Tenzo.”

I started to get undressed and Tenzo immediately turned around while covering his eyes. “I’m starting to think you like undressing in front of me!” He yelled as I giggled.

“What I like is getting you all flustered. It’s hilarious.” I chuckled as I did the transformation jutsu to hide my pregnancy belly as I changed into a tank top and plaid skirt with fishnet stockings. “You can turn around now.” I mumbled while sitting in front of the mirror to start putting on the eyeliner. Once I was done with the eyeliner, I put on a choker and put all my piercings back in. Once I finished my mascara and my lipstick I turned around to see Tenzo reading away. “Tenzo!” I shouted to call his attention as he was still wearing his uniform minus the flak jacket. His eyes jolted off of the book and his eyes widened.

“You look… Different…” He spoke as he raised his brows.

“Please tell me you brought something else to wear…” I pleaded while watching the blood drain from his face. I groaned while rushing over to his backpack to go through it.

“Are you just going to show off your Anbu tattoo?” He questioned while I pulled out one of his skin tight shirts and some pants.

“Yes and so are you. Now put these on.” I instructed him while tossing the clothes. “And no bandages or wraps of any kind.” I warned before grabbing one of my hoop and ball piercings without the ball. After he slid on the clean skin tight shirt I walked up to him and placed the hoop onto the outer helix of his ear to simulate a piercing. I went back to my makeup and pulled out some eyeliner and pushed down on his shoulder to get him to sit down. After he sat down I started to put on a little bit of eyeliner which helped highlight those big dark eyes of his.

“Why?” He asked, sounding exasperated.

“You’ll see as soon as you walk in.” I informed while finishing up. I reached under my skirt and summoned a stack of money before walking over to put on my boots and put the packet of money into the boot. “You ready to head out?” I asked while looking over my shoulder to see him drop the book he had just picked up.

“Yeah…” He sighed.

“Good.” I told him before heading out of the room. I walked down stairs, trying to stop the waddle I kept instinctively trying to do from being so used to my huge stomach. Once we were both out of the in, I made sure to stop by a store quick to grab a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Tenzo shot me a look of blatant fear when he saw the packet in my hands. “Relax.” I ordered while taking one out and placing it behind his ear, to then take out another and place it behind mine. Afterwards, I tucked the lighter between my breasts and headed over to the bar with Tenzo following closely behind.

Once inside I made my way to the back and headed behind the bar. “Birdie!” Rei boomed with his arms held out for me to hug him while Tenzo took a seat at the bar. “You look… Not the way I thought you would by now.” He remarked while I hugged him.

“Yeah well…” I tossed him the pack of cigarettes and poured myself some water behind the bar in a low ball glass filled with ice and added a lime wedge and a stirring straw to feign that it was liquor. “I didn’t really feel like revealing that info to a bar full of your clientele.” I remarked while grabbing the top shelf whiskey and pouring a glass for Tenzo. “No offense.”

“None taken. It’s probably for the best anyways.” He acknowledged while putting his arm around my shoulders. “So who is this?” He asked, pointing to Tenzo as Tenzo drank the whiskey in a swift single gulp.

“Wood.” I blurted, not knowing what else to say. “Also that’s sipping whiskey, not chugging whiskey.” I warned as I poured him another.

“Like… Morning wood?” Rei asked while holding back snickers as Tenzo sipped on the whiskey. I bursted out laughing and Tenzo’s face turned positively red as he gulped down the whiskey again in frustration.

“It’s Oak! My name is Oak!” He whined as I poured him another drink while Rei joined in on the laughing. “You sure this is whiskey? It’s so smooth…” He commented with a slight slur as Rei and I calmed down.

“Alright Oak, and yes that’s whiskey… That’s why I said it’s sipping whiskey.” I warned while taking a sip of my water. Rei walked around the bar with the packet of cigarettes to sit beside Tenzo and started looking for a lighter. I pulled out the one from between my breasts and handed it to him as Tenzo watched me with his eyes narrowed before taking a sip of his whiskey. Rei took the lighter and lit up one of the cigarettes making sure to spin around and blow the smoke away from me.

“So everything is going ok as far as… The package goes?” Rei asked while motioning to his stomach. I grabbed a piece of ice and threw it at his gut to get him to stop.

“Dammit Rei, how have you not learned to be more subtle by now?!” I shouted while glaring at him as he chuckled.

“So what brings you here? As much as I’d love to believe you’re here to see my handsome chiseled face, that ring on your finger tells me there’s something else.” He joked after taking a drag.

“I still like to admire your chiseled face…” I teased while leaning in and resting my forearms on the bar while Tenzo narrowed his eyes as he watched us both closely. He seemed to be studying my interactions with Rei very cautiously… Did Kakashi tell him something…? “But that’s all it is now.” I told him with a smile. “There’s someone I need to ask you about, see if you remember… It’s from years ago though.” I spoke before holding out my hand for him to take. Tenzo finished his drink with a few grumbles and with my other hand I poured him another. Seems my plan to get Tenzo shit faced is well underway. Rei reached out and grabbed my hand after blowing the smoke away from us and putting the cigarette out in the ashtray. I showed him the memory that I got from Arata and more specifically, the man he sold the scroll to. Once I finished, I blinked a few times while coming out of the memory.

“I remember him.” Rei walked around the bar, put his arm around my shoulders with a smile and led me out towards the back. When we got into the alley way, I sensed to make sure that nobody was around. I leaned up against the wall and nodded while he crept into my personal space. He brushed my hair back behind my ear and I felt his hot breath against my neck. “He comes every few months or so. He’s a trader…” Rei rested one of his hands onto my hip. “Frequently offers to buy items, no questions asked, and resells them to a more specific clientele who is willing to shell out more. I’m not sure when he’s going to-“ He whispered but stopped abruptly so I used my sensory abilities to see who it was.

“Relax, it’s just Oak.” I murmured as Oak stumbled into the alleyway.

“I don’t know when he’s going to come back, but I’ll keep an eye out.” He whispered while Tenzo started to walk, or rather stumble, towards us.

“What is this?!” Tenzo shouted while slurring and pointing at Rei and I, so Rei took a step back.

“I’ll explain in a bit.” I told Tenzo while he crossed his arms against his chest. “I’m going to take him home.” I smiled at Rei apologetically while slipping him some money to pay for Tenzo’s drinks. “It seems Tenzo can’t handle his liquor.” I commented with a scrunched face and Rei smiled while briefly raising his eyebrows.

“Looks like it, but before you go birdie…” He leaned in again. “How’s everything?” He whispered while placing a hand onto my stomach.

“They’re great…” I hummed with a smile as I placed a hand onto my stomach, next to his.

“Things between you and scarecrow?” He asked quietly.

“There was a…  _ REALLY _ rough patch… But we worked through it… We’re in a much better place now.” I remarked thinking back to Kakashi… I think I miss him already… “Oh and you’re due in town for a check up in a couple of weeks.”

“Alright, can I stay with you two?” He questioned while brushing my hair back behind my ear as a few strands had come loose.

“No touching!” Tenzo warned with a grumble.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” I told him while chuckling at Tenzo.

“Alright, I’m going to go before Oak here bites my head off.” He pulled me in for a hug before heading back into the bar. I furrowed my brows and smiled tightly at Tenzo.

“Let’s get you some food, seems I got you shit faced a little too easily.” I chuckled while grabbing onto Tenzo’s arm and pulling him out of the alley.

“So?! What was that?!” He shouted.

“I was just getting what I came here for, and I also was catching up.” I shrugged as I scoped out a ramen shop open, up ahead.

“You know Kessho, I never took you for the cheating type…” He muttered and I stopped dead in my tracks.

“Woah, woah, woah… What?!” I yelled as I finally looked at his hand that was balled up in a fist, his tight lips and furrowed brows. “Tenzo! That’s not it at all! I would never do that!” I shouted at him before whipping over towards the ramen shop to continue walking along.

“Wait!” He called out before rushing up to me, his brows still furrowed, but now in confusion as opposed to anger. “So if you weren’t making out with him before I showed up, then what were you doing?” He wondered aloud as we walked into the ramen shop.

“I know you’re drunk Tenzo, but think back to the reason why we came here in the first place.” I told him after placing my order for an extra large ramen bowl. I was starving… His eyes grew wide as he finally remembered. “I got everything I needed.” I repeated to him and he nodded with his shoulders relaxing while he placed his order. “Why were you so uptight about it?” I questioned.

“Because… Well for starters Kakashi is my friend! Hmph!” He crossed his arms against his chest as he nodded to himself and I could see his cheeks were a rosy red from the alcohol. I couldn’t help but giggle at his exaggerated expressions. “And… I need you two to work! I want to be Uncle Tenzo!” He exclaimed while spinning the stool to rest his eyes onto my stomach that was still hidden from the transformation jutsu.

“SHHH!” I raised my finger to my lips as I shushed him. His eyes widened and his hands both slapped onto his mouth.

“Sorry.” He whispered while lowering his hands to quickly pull them back up. His eyes narrowed again and his hands lowered. “You two still looked way too…” His gaze wandered up to the ceiling, almost as if he was hoping to find the words written somewhere. He slowly spun the stool around as he crossed his arms against his chest again while I rested my hand on my palm, watching him in amusement. “Familiar.” Was the word he settled on as he stopped spinning when facing me again.

“That’s because Rei and I were a thing for a long time.” I explained with a shrug as they placed the bowl of ramen in front of me. Finally. I dove right in.

“What?!” Tenzo fumed.

“So Kakashi didn’t ask you to keep an eye on me?” I asked with food in my mouth.

“Should he have?!” He demanded to know as they placed a bowl in front of Tenzo while also handing him a glass of water.

“Nah.” I shrugged in between bites. “Besides, Kakashi already knows about me and Rei.” I told him while waving him off as I continued to stuff my face.

“He does?” Tenzo asked with a sudden bewilderment.

“Mhm.” I nodded with the ramen noodles dangling from my mouth before I slurped them up. “He even knows about how Rei asked to marry me.” I told him after I stuffed the noodles into a cheek.

“He what?!” Tenzo shouted again as noodles flew out of his mouth.

“Jesus Tenzo, relax, you’re going to pop a vein.” I muttered. “Kakashi is fine with it all.” I shrugged again after repeating myself.

“From what I know from his dating life, he doesn’t usually like sharing like that.” He commented while shaking his head with wide eyes.

“Oh we have things worked out.” I hummed as I stopped eating for a moment, resting my chin on my palm. “He just… Claims me…” I thought back with a smirk as I stirred the noodles in the broth while thinking about how I was going to provoke him some when I got back. I felt the heat rise to my cheeks and I pursed my lips in amusement while I saw Tenzo cover his ears in my periphery.

“I don’t want to hear it!” He shouted while I chuckled before starting to eat again.

“Kakashi and I are good Tenzo, there’s nothing to worry about.” I told him with absolute certainty in my tone as I paid for the bowls of ramen and Tenzo downed the glass of water. I noticed Tenzo finally seemed to relax as we headed out and back to the inn. Once we were up in the room, I walked into the bathroom and got undressed so I could undo the jutsu. I put on the yukata, which luckily it seems they brought a bigger one for me after having watched me check in. I wiped off all my make up and looked at myself in the mirror. Pregnancy glow has faded and now I just look exhausted. When I walked out, Tenzo was already tucked into his futon.

“I’m sorry I got all… Fussy.” He grumbled. “I’m just…” He trailed off while sitting up as I started to lay onto my side in my futon while facing Tenzo. “I’m really excited to be Uncle Tenzo…” He confessed while trailing off into a whisper.

“Awww… Tenzo!” I smiled widely as he crossed his arms and turned away to hide his face.

“You guys are the closest thing to family I have…” He mentioned as he unfolded his arms and turned on his side to face me.

“You are family, Tenzo.”


	16. Do you miss... Your mistress?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:  
> “Why aren’t you dressed yet?!” I huffed while glaring at him. “And at least I don’t make noise when I sneak around!” I sneered.
> 
> “Oh, I’m sorry. Did I make the pregnant woman angry?” He continued to tease as he felt the babies punching and kicking away with his hands on my stomach.
> 
> “If you keep mocking me you will.” I remarked with a stern tone, but he simply placed a kiss onto my cheek before he rested his head on my shoulder.
> 
> “Are you sure this isn’t too tight on them?” He whispered while rubbing my stomach.
> 
> “It’s fine… There’s just not a lot of room left in my stomach in general.” I explained while I placed my hands on his.

I slipped on the black, stretchy, skintight suit and reached around the back to zip it up… Except I could only get the zipper up half way, not being able to reach the rest of the way… Fuck. “Kakashi!” I called out and he came rushing into the room while I kept trying to grab at the zipper. I felt him place a delicate hand onto my hip as he snickered away. He pulled up on the zipper, pulling it all the way up finishing at the back of my neck.

“You look like a pregnant woman in a leotard.” He teased while craning his neck around to catch a glimpse of my face. I felt his bare chest against my shoulders as he wrapped his arms around me.

“Why aren’t you dressed yet?!” I huffed while glaring at him. “And at least I don’t make noise when I sneak around!” I sneered.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I make the pregnant woman angry?” He continued to tease as he felt the babies punching and kicking away with his hands on my stomach.

“If you keep mocking me you will.” I remarked with a stern tone, but he simply placed a kiss onto my cheek before he rested his head on my shoulder.

“Are you sure this isn’t too tight on them?” He whispered while rubbing my stomach.

“It’s fine… There’s just not a lot of room left in my stomach in general.” I explained while I placed my hands on his.

“You mean you won’t get any bigger?” He questioned and I could hear his teasing smile in his tone.

“I hope not… But probably not… At least, not by a lot…” I trailed off while he placed another kiss onto my cheek and I stared at my stomach, absentmindedly.

“Come on, let's eat breakfast.” He remarked but I shook my head, so he came around to face me. “Kessho… You need to eat.” He warned as he pulled away to walk around in front of me.

“My stomach is in knots…” I whined quietly as I fiddled with my wedding ring, my focus now on that. He placed his fingers under my chin and pushed up so my gaze would meet his.

“Are you… Nervous?” He questioned with his eyebrow raised. I nodded while turning my gaze away despite his hold on my face.

“I’ll eat a big meal after the inauguration…” I mumbled quietly as he pressed his forehead to mine and finally met his eyes again.

“I’m prepping you the lunch to take with you, and I want the bento box empty when we get back home…” He warned with a stern, deep, and commanding tone. I raised my chin a bit and bit my bottom lip.

“Yes daddy.” I teased with a sinister smile growing on my face. His eyes widened for a moment before he breathed me in for a fervent kiss. One arm went to the back of my neck and the other wrapped around, reaching behind to my back. My hand laced into his hair while the other gripped tightly onto the nape of his neck as I pressed myself against him. He parted the kiss and nosed his way to my ear.

“We might need to revisit that…” He growled before I nipped at his neck. A grunt escaped his lips before they molded into a smile pressed against my ear. “You might need to stop before your soak through your leotard.” He teased with a deepened, lustful tone. Fuck… he was right. I pulled away and took a deep breath to calm myself down after having been riled up. “I’m going to go prep that bento.” He informed before he placed a kiss onto the top of my head and he walked off. I raised my mask and walked towards the back of the closet to look through my weapons. I grabbed a holster and instantly put it back. Probably best to just put in some senbon. I ran my hands through my hair and pulled my hand back out. Dammit… Pricked a finger on a left over senbon. I reached into my hair and pulled out the culprit to see the tip covered in a little bit of blood. I placed the senbon between my teeth as I pulled my hair into a bun at the top of my head. I then grabbed the senbon from between my teeth and hid it in my bun. I grabbed a new packet of senbon and hid the rest in there as well.

Once I finished, I pulled up on the hood to tuck away and hide my hair while placing some senbon in a leather pouch to hide between my breasts through the slit in the skintight suit. I grabbed onto my owl mask and I then headed out of the closet and towards the living room where Kakashi was waiting. He held two bento boxes in his hand while I reached for my black cloak that was hanging on the wall by the door. After putting that on, I slipped on my rock climbing shoes while grabbing onto the shoe cubby to steady myself.

“Ready?” He asked as he placed his hand onto the small of my back. I nodded to him and placed on the owl mask before using my invisibility jutsu to conceal myself.

“Ready.” I replied as I placed my hands on his shoulders for him to lead me to the foundation, otherwise known as the new Anbu building. It was finally starting to warm up it seems, maybe the snow from the other day was the last frost… I’ll have to ask Tenzo what he thinks. There were children playing outside again, and this time they weren’t throwing snow at each other as it had started to melt away. I noticed a mother with her newborn up ahead of Kakashi as I peeked out from behind him and I gently squeezed his shoulder. He peered over his shoulder with a small smile before returning to looking head on. Soon… We headed into what looked like an abandoned building and into the foundation. I traced my fingers along the surfaces that gathered dust and grime to then rub them onto my arms as I revealed myself and undid the invisibility jutsu.

I continued to trace my fingers along the surfaces, to then rub them against my legs and other areas, making sure to conceal my scent as much as possible. Usually this was more of a mindless task, one I would do automatically, without even thinking about it… But right now I felt myself on high alert. I was still nervous about how I was going to take command. I knew that they were going to be dubious, even with the backing of the Hokage and Anbu commander. I followed Kakashi up the steps to the second floor to be met with the Anbu commander and Tenzo, who were waiting for us. We stood up on the balcony overlooking all the active Anbu members who were standing at attention. I took off my cloak and gave it to Tenzo as the Anbu commander started speaking.

I stood by Kakashi, close enough to brush our hands together. Still, I maintained a serious stance… Until I went with one arm around my back to grab my forearm. Fuck I’m still so nervous. I’m not used to talking in front of a crowd by any means… Nor have I ever really needed to… I mean I guess there was Harada Akane… Wait… That’s it! I’m not Hatake Kessho right now, I’m Lady Kunoichi. I felt Kakashi’s pinky wrap around mine while the Anbu commander continued to speak. I squeezed onto his pinky tightly and smiled behind the mask. Lady Kunoichi’s got this. She’s a commanding hard ass who will act superior to all the others as leader because she’s earned that position so she is… Right…? I shook my head. Yes that is who she is. There’s a certain air of regality to her, very poised and collected. Still though, she isn’t afraid to do what needs to be done. She’ll also use fear if she needs to and make sure all of her soldiers are under her thumb… Where they belong. Even with all that she will still protect her soldiers to the end. She knows their value and their importance to the leaf… The Anbu commander stopped talking which meant it was Lady Kunoichi’s turn… Kakashi’s pinky squeezed mine before letting go.

She walked up to the railing of the balcony and grabbed on tightly while peering down at her new soldiers. She stood up straight, chest puffed out, a slightly widened stance, and her chin turned up to give off a slight air of arrogance and superiority. If she was going to command, and lead these men and women who had no idea who she was, she couldn’t display any weakness. She needed to convince them all that she was better because she was, not because she’s the Hokage’s wife. Anyone with a brain in the Anbu would put two and two together. They’d see someone who was pregnant, whom the Hokage could trust, and immediately think of his wife… It was clearly nobody they knew within the Anbu, or in the foundation… So who else could it be. Even with the masks on, she could still see some people staring up at her with narrowed eyes and clenched fists. They were clearly angry about the new appointment, and rightfully so. A stranger comes out of nowhere and sweeps up the commanding position, she’d be pissed too. Yet there she stood… In front of them all… With a newfound position of power… One she never even expected to have, but also one she would gladly take. She gripped onto the railing even tighter before starting.

“I know you must all be wondering who I am, or where I even came from. This will be revealed to you in time. For now what is important that you know is that this position wasn’t just given to me… I earned it.” She insisted with a commanding tone despite a few scoffs and murmurs she heard from the soldiers below. “There will be many upcoming changes, all of which will be implemented for the safety and security-“

I gripped tightly onto the railing as I felt a sudden sharp pain in my stomach. Fuck… Of course I’d get the  _ painful _ Braxton hicks. I gripped tighter onto the railing, causing a dent, while every other muscle stayed frozen in place. Ok it passed. She loosened her grip on the railing and continued. “For the safety and security of each and every Anbu member.” I gripped tightly onto the railing again as another practice contraction rolled through. Luckily this one was shorter. Probably want to switch the profile creations to tomorrow though. “The extent of the changes implemented will be placed on a scroll outside of my office. Tomorrow we will be recreating the profiles for each member and assigning new code names. You will also have a matching jonin profile created to hide your identity. I assure you, your protection is my utmost concern, not just for identity concealment but-“ I stopped to grip onto the railing to the point where it flattened in my grip. Fuck. This one was bad… Took longer than before which means they’re irregular, confirming Braxton hicks. Ughh… This is not the impression Lady Kunoichi needs to be making. “I’ll be creating workshops run by me and yourselves to sharpen and teach yourselves unique skills. This will allow you all to go on a wider range of missions, and use more of your skills to ensure your concealment and protection.” She took a deep breath to see they were still just as suspicious and weary from when she started. “Next to the list of changes, I will post the last profile report of me written by Lady Tsunade. Any concerns you might have after looking at that can be quelled while we meet one on one tomorrow for the profile adjustments.” She finished explaining to see some hands unfisted, but many eyes were still narrowed. “I will make it my will to honor you all.” She finished.

I turned around and started to walk towards my office with one hand on my stomach and my other hand fisted into a ball with the nails that I needed to cut, digging into my skin. As I started to walk down the hall I heard Kakashi finally catch up to me as I tried to not let the pain of this practice contraction get to me. Walking isn’t working on taking away the practice contractions, I should try laying down next. Kakashi put his arm around me. “Kessho, what’s going on…?” He spoke just loud enough to hear.

“Don’t call me that here.” I hissed as I shrugged his arm off. I know he was just being sweet and was worried, but fuck this right now… I felt Tenzo drape the cloak over my shoulders as I stopped to open the door to the office. I walked into the office and turned to Tenzo. “Don’t let anyone in.” I ordered while staring at Tenzo as I pulled Kakashi in by the arm. Tenzo nodded his head and shut the door while Kakashi took off his shoes as did I.

“Kessho, do we need to call Lady Tsunade?” He asked with graveness in his tone, but I shook my head.

“I’m sorry, no. I’m having Braxton Hicks.” I explained as I sat down on the tatami mats. “It’s false labor, sometimes painful… I guess with me it is.” I told him while laying onto the floor in the fetal position. I took off my mask and removed my hood. I watched him take off his Hokage hat before he joined me on the floor, putting his arm around my waist and resting his hand onto my stomach.

“What can I do?” He murmured into my ear with his hot breath blowing onto the nape of my neck.

“I think this is helping… Just stay with me for a while… Please…” I pleaded with a whisper and I felt him pull me into him, contorting himself to my shape so his body was pressed behind mine.

“Lift your head.” He cooed, and when I did, he slid his forearm under my head for me to rest upon. I reached out to the lonely hand that bore my insignia and tightly clasped onto it. “Do you really need to put out one of your profiles?” He mumbled while thumbing my stomach after having undid one of the buttons on my hood to let it fall to the wayside.

“They’re weary. It’ll prevent a revolt.” I answered a little more curt than I had intended. Kakashi sighed as he pulled down my zipper to expose the rest of my neck. He pressed his bare lips to my newly exposed skin with such delicacy. “Besides, they already know who I am… Might as well just come clean with it.” I explained and he sighed again before nuzzling into my neck.

“I’m starting to regret letting you do this while pregnant.” He admitted with his voice muffled by my skin.

“They still would’ve seen the two twin newborns… They’d still put it together then…” I reasoned while he stirred behind me.

“Let me know if you’re having problems.” He groaned but I shook my head.

“No. You can’t step in. They won’t respect me if you do. I’m happy to tell you how things are going, but I won’t if you’re going to butt in.” I warned. He stopped thumbing my stomach and his hand balled into a fist. After a tense moment, his hand relaxed and rested on my stomach lazily.

“Ok. You’re right. If they’re going to respect you…” He sighed. “I can’t step in.” He retreated his hand from my stomach to unzip my suit a little further. Then he curled his hand under the suit and around the front of my neck, causing the mask portion to fall away as his hand traced along my skin, making its way to my chin. His fingers gripped onto my jaw to turn my face towards him so he could put a gentle kiss on my cheek. I let go of his hand to roll on my other side facing him, intertwining my legs with his and placing my hand onto his cheek. His hand went around my neck and pulled me in for a kiss. Lips brushed against mine in a manner that was sweet and passionate. His lips parted and I felt his tongue lick my lower lip. He explored my mouth with his tongue while pressing his hips against my thigh between his legs, and I felt his girth hardening. I pulled away from him and pressed my head to his.

“Sex can cause the Braxton hicks.” I told him while scrunching my face. His shoulders slumped as he frowned. “I also don’t think that now is the right time to break in my new office.” I joked as he placed a kiss onto my forehead.

“We are going to break it in at some point.” He growled after nosing his way to my ear.

“Of course…” I purred. “I think I should start writing up the list of changes… Can you go get the report profile for me?” I pleaded after placing a kiss onto his cheek. He tucked away a few stray hairs and cupped my face in his hand.

“Sure thing.” He spoke before placing a final kiss onto my forehead. He got up quickly to then help me. I walked over to the coffee table and sat cross legged onto the cushion after grabbing some paper and a brush with ink to start writing the changes to be made. Had to be done with ink since it was an official declaration. After I finished the first change on the list, I noticed Kakashi standing in front, watching me. “You look so at home… Like you belong there…” He spoke with a dreamy tone to then give me his closed eyed smile. He raised his mask which reminded me to zip up my suit and raise mine to then button my hood and raise it to cover my hair. He picked up the owl mask I had left, and handed it to me to put on. “I’ll be back in a bit.” He confirmed before heading out. I went back to writing the long list of all the changes. After finally finishing up the long list, I grabbed the double sided tape, and walked out of the office to see Tenzo standing by the door.

“You feeling alright?” He asked with some leftover concern in his voice.

“Yeah, I’m fine now.” I replied while I put up the list of changes. “Thanks for always checking in on me.” I smiled at him behind the mask though he couldn’t see.

“Lord Sixth.” I heard Tenzo mention while I was finishing putting up the list.

“Oh! Perfect timing.” I saw Kakashi approaching me in just his normal shinobi uniform while holding out the profile, so I put that up on the wall as well, right below the list. Kakashi was about to trace his fingers over my signature at the end but I smacked his hand away. “It’s still wet.” I grumbled. He placed his hand onto the small of my back as he slid open the door to my office. I finally got a chance to really admire the room while Kakashi took off his shoes. It was simple, the room was long and mostly empty near the entrance. Along the back wall there was a bookcase containing various scrolls, ink, paper, and the files I needed readily available. Among them were also hidden crevasses to store the most important files. Near the door was a space for shoes, and next to it was a wardrobe to store the cloaks and any weaponry I was carrying with me. In front of the bookcase was the coffee table I had sat at, along with various cushions around it. Next to the bookcase was a little shrub Tenzo got for me, and in front of it the cart used to transport tea. On the side where the shrub was, was a wall lined with shoji doors, these lead into the eventual playroom for my two little shinobi. The other wall held a singular door that seemed to be used at one point for torture and interrogation… I’m not quite sure what to do with that room yet…

Kakashi led me back towards the coffee table where we both sat down. He placed his hand on mine and thumbed my knuckles. “I cleared out my day tomorrow to help you with the profiles.”

“You didn’t have to do that…” I placed my other hand onto his after taking off my owl mask and lowering my hood.

“I know, but I figured it’d be easier this way, especially given the master list and writing the jonin profiles, which is something I’m supposed to do anyways. Plus, I figured I can take the photos for the profiles, so we don’t need to alert anyone of the location.” He explained and I just smiled… Always so thoughtful.

“Thank you. That’ll help a lot, considering how many Anbu there are…” I reasoned and he nodded.

“I cleared out the next day too, just in case.” He whispered while leaning into me. He crept around the table to sit next to me, placing a hand onto my thigh. I placed my hand onto his cheek and pulled his forehead to press against mine.

“Thank you for always being so thoughtful.” I told him before pulling him into a masked kiss. We smiled against each other’s lips at the fabric between us, only to be interrupted by a knock at the door. I pulled away and put my mask back on with my hood up. “Come in.” I called out and in came Tenzo.

“I know you said you didn’t want to see anyone, but there’s someone here who wants to leave the Anbu.” Tenzo stood attention, like I was truly his superior now… It was weird. This is really going to take some getting used to.

“Send them in.” I instructed while readjusting myself to sit up straight with my fingers interlocked on the table. In came a very slender, tall woman. She looked like she might even break if she took the wrong step. She was fiddling with her fingers as she walked towards the center of the room. “Why do you want to leave the Anbu?” I questioned as she stood there, hiding behind her mouse like mask.

“I-I don’t think I have the courage to do it.” She stuttered as I raised an eyebrow behind my mask.

“Do what?” I asked for clarification. She nodded to herself as she seemed to be searching for the nerve.

“To kill.” She finally managed to squeak out. “You see, I was recruited due to my concealment abilities and genjutsu… I would be sent off on intelligence missions mostly.”

“I can maintain you on intelligence missions. That won’t be an issue.” I interjected, but she shook her head.

“Even then, the fighting made my stomach curdle. I thought I would grow past it once I got out of the academy… But I never did.” She was looking to her feet and I could see droplets fall from behind her mask. “I’m a failure as a shinobi.” She sounded so defeated.

“Perhaps there’s another way for you to service the village… Have you ever considered medical ninjutsu?” I questioned as her mask covered face looked back up.

“U-uh, n-no. My clan specializes with genjutsu… Nobody in my clan was a medical ninja. I wouldn’t even know where to learn from.” Her tone seemed to have relaxed some, not sounding as defeated, but she started to fiddle with her fingers again.

“I’ll be in need of an assistant. If you choose to remain in the Anbu as my assistant, I can teach you medical ninjutsu in my down time, between paper work, workshops, and meetings.” I explained as she stopped fiddling with her fingers.

“You know medical ninjutsu? It wasn’t on the profile outside…” She sounded somewhat distraught and confused now.

“It wasn’t relevant to any missions I conduct considering I only ever went on solo missions, and yes I do know medical ninjutsu. I trained under Lady Tsunade.” I informed while retracting my hands into my lap.

“I-I… That would be wonderful.” She clasped her hands together and her muscles tensed but her tone was joyful, must be excited.

“Great. You’ll need a bird mask, and your codename will be woodpecker. You’ll help with typical assistant stuff, but the most important thing is nobody comes in here without you verifying first. Also, you must always knock first and wait for me to give approval for entry. Under no circumstances do you ever come in without my approval. Is that understood?” I warned with a very stern and demanding tone.

“Yes, Lady Kunoichi.” She nodded and then pointed to the cart. “Would you like me to get you and Lord Sixth some tea?” She questioned.

“Yes, that would be lovely. I’ll take lavender, and Lord Sixth…” I placed my hand onto his thigh underneath the table. “He’ll take matcha.” She bowed and took the cart, wheeling it away as she left while making sure to close the door behind her. Kakashi put his hands on my cushion and turned me around to face him while I giggled. He removed my owl mask and put it on the table in front of him. After he pulled down our masks, he pulled me in for a sweet kiss. When he parted he held my face in his hands delicately and he traced my bottom lip. “See, you’ll be a great leader.” He smiled before pressing his lips to my forehead, and got up after he parted. After heading over to where his shoes were, he came back towards me with two bento boxes and chopsticks in hand. He sat down on my left side, like he always did and pushed one of the bento boxes towards me.

“When did you get the gyoza?” I asked after opening the box.

“I picked some up for you on the way. I wanted to make sure you ate something at least and I know you can never turn that down.” He explained while his finger slipped and his elbow bumped into my bicep as he was trying to open the mandarin. I put down my chopsticks and snatched the mandarin from his hands, and used the nail on my thumb to dig in and break the skin of the mandarin and peel it before handing it back to Kakashi. He quickly kissed my temple as I took a bite of one of those yummy gyoza I love.

“Thank you for getting them for me.” I told him before I leaned my head onto his shoulder. “The Anbu commander is still taking care of mission assignments while I set up the profiles and phase out his system, right?” I questioned.

“Yeah, he’s-“ A knock on the door and we both quickly raised our masks before I reached over to put on my owl mask to finally raise my hood.

“I have the tea Lady Kunoichi.” I heard WoodPecker call out from behind the door.

“Yes, come in.” I ordered. She came in through the door with the cart. After placing the tea pot before us, she placed down the tea cups with the respective herbs/powder along with little bowls containing more of each. “You didn’t mention sugar or honey, so I didn’t bring any, but I can go get some if you want.” She offered, but I waved her off.

“It’s fine. Thank you.” I answered.

“Is there anything else you need, Lady Kunoichi? Or anything I can get you, Lord Sixth?” She questioned.

“Just make sure you follow the rules. Remember that nobody can see you leaving, nobody can see you coming into the building. You must make sure you aren’t followed, you need to conceal yourself as you change into your civilian clothes and nobody can see what you look like when you leave. You’re my assistant. The direct line to me… I cannot have you jeopardize my family, so you need to make sure you’re using your concealment skills. Is that understood?” I demanded critically as I interlaced my fingers.

“Ye-yes Lady Kunoichi.” She stammered while giving short quick nods.

“I’ll call for you when I’m done eating. I want to redo your mindblocks.” I informed.

“Yo-you mean the mind barriers?” She questioned hesitantly.

“Yes. Are members reading the changes?” I asked as Kakashi reached down, placing his hand on my knee and thumbing it.

“Yes. Yes, they are.” She confirmed while fiddling with her hands again.

“How are the members taking it? I want you to listen in for me.” I ordered while Kakashi’s hand snuck a little further to my inner thigh.

“Most who have read your profile and seen the changes are content with what they see. There seems to be a few holding out. They’re not sure or they just believe in seeing it with their eyes.” She explained as she looked down to her hands. Kakashi squeezed my inner thigh before continuing to thumb it.

“Alright. That’s to be expected. Just make a mental note of who’s holding out. Don’t let anyone notice you’re listening in.” I commanded while puffing out my chest a little.

“Yes Lady Kunoichi.” She gave a single nod this time.

“You are dismissed.” I informed. She bowed and left, closing the door behind her. I took off my owl mask, lowered my hood and my skin tight mask so I could start eating again. Before I could Kakashi gripped the back of my neck and placed one hand onto my cheek to pull me into an ardent kiss. I nearly lost balance as he pulled me forward, so I caught myself by gripping with one hand onto his inner thigh and I was finally able to lean into that intensely passionate kiss. His hold on me was so strained and tight, yet at the same time it felt like he was trying to hold himself back. When he parted we were both a little out of breath while his eyes darted between mine.

“Sorry… It’s just… I haven’t seen you take charge in a while…” He panted while I stared at his lips. I hummed happily as I crept my hand further up his thigh.

“What’s the matter…?” I teased before biting the corner of my lower lip. “Do you miss… Your mistress…?” I purred while holding my chin up high and looking at him from the corner of my eye. He pursed his lips and nodded with a smile. I pushed up on the coffee table to stand up. After turning towards Kakashi, I reached for his sweatshirt, grabbed it, and pulled him up. Once he stood up, I didn’t let go, instead I grabbed him towards the single door on the wall by the bookcase. After opening the door, I led him into the torture chamber. There was a wall lined with different tools and weapons, along with lots of chakra rope. There were wooden crosses, cuffs with shackles, and everything else you could imagine; there even seemed to be what looked like the pliers they used on me. “I was thinking about what to do with this room and you gave me an idea…” I told him while letting go of his sweatshirt to walk over and lean up against the table with metal cuffs attached to it.

“You don’t mean…?” He raised his eyebrow with a sly smile.

“Well I mean, once the kids are old enough to speak and run around… It might be a little harder to enjoy our… More adventurous endeavors.” I explained as he approached me while placing his hands onto my hips. He let out a happy hum as he nosed his way to my ear.

“I like it…” He growled into my ear as I gripped tightly around his neck. I pulled him into a kiss with my tongue immediately darting in while his hands went around to grope my lower cheeks. I moaned into the kiss before pulling away.

“I am actually kind of hungry.” I admitted while placing a hand onto his chest to create some distance. He squeezed at my butt tightly before letting go.

“You do need to eat.” He acknowledged, so we both walked out of the room. After I closed the door, we both sat back down to finish our lunches.


	17. Room 203

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:  
> “You mean…” He whispered as his eyes grew watery. “I could lose you all…?” He asked with his voice cracking slightly.
> 
> “It more than likely won’t happen. It’s very rare for things to happen like that, ok?” I reassured while smoothing my thumb over the back of his hand. He blinked some tears away before nodding while his eyes bore into mine. “Besides, not everyone has a badass healing tattoo like I do.” I told him as a few tears escaped my eyes while we both chuckled. His smile quickly faded as he took a deep breath.
> 
> “I’m so scared.” He whispered.
> 
> “I am too.” I acknowledged. “Hold me please.” I pleaded with a whimper. He nodded quickly as he stood up.

Out of nowhere I started to see a section of my vision go blurry in one of my eyes. I blinked a few times and rubbed my eye but it didn’t go away… The blurry section then started to get colors and looked like when a camera flash hits your eyes. Fuck. Aura… Which means I’m going to get a migraine… “Woodpecker!” I called out to my assistant who rushed in and bowed.

“Yes Lady Kunoichi?” She questioned while raising her head slowly.

“I need you to get the previous Anbu commander immediately. I must step out.” I instructed while placing a hand onto Tenzo’s shoulder to stand up.

“Yes Lady Kunoichi.” She bowed again and ran off, closing the door behind her as she always did. The colors were creeping and snaking, growing into a blurry flashy spiral that was slowly taking over my vision.

“Where are we going?” Tenzo asked with a concerned tone as he helped me towards the door.

“The hospital.” I spoke curtly as I tried to quicken my pace.

“Wait are they coming? Should I get Kakashi?! Do you need me to carry you?! Should you be walking right now?!” He questioned frantically, completely flustered with the blood drained from his face.

“Tenzo!” I shouted. “That’s not it. I have a migraine but hopefully that’s all it is. I still need to see Lady Tsunade.” I started to head out, making my way to the locker room. Once in the locker room I started the invisibility jutsu and got changed into a white sundress with pink chrysanthemums and a red cardigan paired with some white ballet flats. When I stepped out of the locker room, I sensed for Tenzo, who was also invisible, and I placed my hands onto his shoulders. He started to lead me out and head towards the hospital. Once we started to get close, I undid the jutsu and revealed myself to start walking beside Tenzo, who also revealed himself. He grabbed my arm and placed it around him as he helped me up the steps now that I couldn’t see through one eye. How on earth did Kakashi used to do this all the time…?

He helped me towards the reception desk to where Kameko was sitting and I thanked my lucky stars it was her here right now. She looked up with a smile on her face, a rare but beautiful sight, and stood up to walk around the counter and help me by getting a wheelchair. “Contractions?” She questioned and I shook my head.

“I need you to go get Lady Tsunade.” I ordered while grabbing onto her hand. Her smile faded and she nodded quickly while running off. Tenzo stood by and gripped onto my shoulder.

“How serious is this Kessho?” Tenzo whispered while crouching down beside me as I waited for Lady Tsunade.

“Hopefully it’s nothing, but if it’s not nothing it… It could be very serious Tenzo.” I finished with a whisper myself as I stared off into oblivion while the thoughts of every possibility of how things may go wrong started to consume me. Migraines mean high blood pressure which could lead to preeclampsia which could lead to me and the babies dying… The aura went away and I blinked a few times. After a moment the dull nagging pain that only grew sharper by the moment started to consume my brain. I closed my eyes and let my head hang back while placing my arm over my eyes in hopes that I can block out the light and lessen the pain.

“So what’s wrong Kessho?” I heard Lady Tsunade call out as I heard some footsteps approaching.

“Migraine.” I answered with a low tone.

“Alright, let's wheel you into a room.” She spoke with a lower tone, trying to not make the migraine worse.

“Room 203.” I heard Kameko say, and suddenly I felt myself being wheeled away. Next thing I knew, she was wheeling me into the room.

“I left the light off, I’ll just leave the light of the ultrasound machine to light up the room.” Lady Tsunade whispered while helping me up and off the wheel chair. When I opened my eyes I headed towards the examination table. After she helped me onto it I noticed Tenzo wasn’t in the room.

“Where’d Tenzo go?” I asked hastily while trying to sense his presence, but he was nowhere to be found.

“I don’t know, he ran out as soon as I showed up. Maybe he went to go get Kakashi?” She suggested while turning on the sonogram machine. “Did you have an aura to preface this or do you still have one, or not have one at all?”

“I had one to preface this… Fuck.” I muttered and let out a sigh. I didn’t want to tell him yet… I’m worried he might make me step back from my Anbu position. She placed the blood pressure cuff onto my arm and took my blood pressure while I rested my head back and thought about how on Earth I was going to get those last two Anbu shinobi to fall in line.

“It’s high… But not high enough to be preeclampsia.” She remarked while removing the blood pressure cuff. “What’s changed?” She questioned while I hiked up my sundress to reveal my stomach.

“I started my position as Anbu commander.” I mumbled as she squirted the cool gel onto my stomach.

“You might have to step back from that position until they’re born…” She murmured while checking on my two little shinobi.

“It’s just these two specific Anbu members that won’t fall in line. Once I can get them to… It’ll relieve the stress immensely. Just… Give me until the end of the week.” I pleaded while ignoring the pain in my head. She sighed while finishing the check up and putting the little ultrasound wand back in its place.

“Alright. Given that the placenta seems fine, the babies are fine, and everything else checks out apart from the high blood pressure… I’ll give you until the end of the week.” She warned while handing me a cloth to wipe the gel. “You haven’t had any others, have you?” She asked while checking the chart.

“No, this is the first one. I’ve gotten them before while on missions, but very rarely.” I mentioned as I wiped off the gel from my stomach.

“Alright, we need to check your blood pressure again when the migraine is over.” She spoke as Kakashi burst through the door.

“I rushed over as soon as I could, what’s going on?!” He shouted as I groaned and Lady Fifth shushed him.

“Everything is fine but you need to keep your voice down. Also calm down, she needs less stress, and you freaking out isn’t going to help.” She whisper shouted at him. “I’ll leave you two to talk. Let me know if the blood pressure doesn’t return to normal after the migraine finishes.” She instructed before leaving and closing the door behind her while I lowered my sundress. Kakashi rushed over to me to press his forehead against mine while grabbing onto my hand with one hand and cupping my face with the other.

“Are you ok? Are they ok? Will it change? What can I do?” He whispered quickly with a dizzying haste.

“Breathe.” I instructed as I took a deep breath through my nose and let it out through my mouth. He mimicked me as I repeated and his muscles slowly started to untense. “I had a migraine. If I get more, it can be a bad sign. Right now it’s likely happening due to a little extra stress at the new position but I can handle it. I just need to get these two Anbu to fall in line.” I explained while gripping tightly onto his hand.

“Kessho…” He murmured. “Maybe you should let the previous commander step in.” He suggested as I lowered his mask.

“Lady Tsunade gave me until the end of the week… Please let me…” I cooed, but his lips grew tight. I could tell he wanted to, but he was so scared.

“What happens if you get another one?” He questioned before answering.

“Well it’s possible nothing happens and it’s just a migraine… And then Lady Tsunade will put me on bed rest.” I answered and finished with a frown that those soft lips of his soon matched.

“And that’s supposed to help you in keeping down the stress that causes the migraines?” He asked with a raised brow while I giggled and nodded. “Yeah that will make things worse.” He chuckled. “Alright. Until the end of the week.” He smiled as he tucked some stray hairs behind my ear.

“Thank you.” I placed my free hand around the back of his neck and pulled him in for a quick kiss.

“But Kessho…” He started as his smile faded. “What happens if you get another migraine… And things aren’t ok?” He whispered while gripping tightly onto my hand while his other was planted on the exam table beside my face, almost as if he was holding himself up. My smile faded and I pursed my lips.

“Are you staying with me or do you have to go back to the office?” I asked while searching his eyes.

“No, no… I’m here.” He placed a sweet peck onto my lips.

“Ok, I’ll explain at home.” I took back my hand to start to sit up and get off the examination table, but Kakashi swooped me into his arms.

“Can you use the flying raijin to take us home, or is that too much?” He cooed with slight concern on his tone.

“Yeah, but what happened to Tenzo?” I wondered aloud as I placed a hand on his face.

“I dismissed him, though he might’ve stayed to see how everything was.” He answered while making his way toward the door while I pulled up his mask. I reached out to open it and quickly covered my eyes with my arm to avoid the harsh fluorescent lights. “Tenzo, she’s ok. I’m going to take her home.”

“Oh! Good.” I heard Tenzo let out a deep sigh. “I’m glad to hear it. I’ll be there tomorrow first thing… Unless…?”

“Tomorrow, first thing.” I instructed.

“Right.” Tenzo answered and I used the flying raijin to take Kakashi and I home. I opened my eyes slowly while letting my eyes adjust to the light in the room. Slowly I could see the sun setting out one of the windows and Kakashi took me into the bedroom to lay me onto the bed. He knelt onto the floor beside me and I turned onto my side to face him. He placed a hand onto my cheek and looked me in the eyes as he lowered his mask again.

“Tell me Kessho… I need to know.” He spoke sternly but softly as to try to not make my migraine worse. I grabbed onto his wrist and squeezed tightly onto it.

“It’s bad…” I whispered and he started to thumb my cheek. He nodded as if to encourage me to continue, but his eyes were filled with worry. “With high blood pressure… And the fact that they’re twins… There’s a risk for something called ‘preeclampsia’.” I started and he let out a deep sigh. “If I’m not careful there are complications… We could lose them… And/or things could happen to me.” I explained and his eyes widened before he gulped.

“You mean…” He whispered as his eyes grew watery. “I could lose you all…?” He asked with his voice cracking slightly.

“It more than likely won’t happen. It’s very rare for things to happen like that, ok?” I reassured while smoothing my thumb over the back of his hand. He blinked some tears away before nodding while his eyes bore into mine. “Besides, not everyone has a badass healing tattoo like I do.” I told him as a few tears escaped my eyes while we both chuckled. His smile quickly faded as he took a deep breath.

“I’m so scared.” He whispered.

“I am too.” I acknowledged. “Hold me please.” I pleaded with a whimper. He nodded quickly as he stood up.

“Let’s get you out of that dress first.” He cooed as he helped me sit up. After he helped me stand up, I took off the dress while he closed the black out curtains on the bedroom window and closed the bedroom door that was almost always left open. I took off my bra and crawled back into bed, laying onto my side before pulling up on the covers. Then I felt the bed dip and creak, the covers move, and strong arms snake around me along with hot breath on the back of my neck. I placed my hand over his and pulled it up to my chest, clasping onto it tightly. “What do you need from me?” He whispered into my ear as I enjoyed the feeling of his warm chest pressed against my back and his bare legs intertwining with mine.

“Just keep doing your duties, please… I don’t want you to worry about this. If the blood pressure goes back to normal after the migraine and I don’t get another one then there’s nothing to worry about.” I explained before pulling his hand and kissing the back of it before lowering it back to my chest. I felt his lips press against my cheek before he returned to his position and I felt his breath tickle the back of my neck.

“Ok… I’ll try my best.” He whispered before nuzzling into my neck. “But I need you to promise that you’ll let the Anbu commander take over if you can’t fix it by the end of the week.” He murmured as I felt his lips brush against the back of my neck and I could barely make out what he was saying.

“I promise…” I answered wearily as I gripped tightly onto his hand.

“We’ll find something for you to do.” He cooed as he moved his lips towards my ear. “Maybe you can keep me company underneath my desk and make work a little more fun…” He growled but his breath tickled and made me giggle.

“I don’t think I’d fit down there in my current state.” I teased while turning my head to peek back at him.

“Maybe I’ll just get a bigger desk.” He spoke in that sexy, deep voice of his before pressing his lips to the corner of mine. “Besides…” He retracted and returned to nuzzling into the back of my neck. “This one very angry pregnant woman bursted into my office and left a dent in my desk.” He teased.

“Really…? Is that so…?” I questioned while playing along.

“Yeah… She was hot though.” He commented and I felt myself blush.

“Oh?”

“I’ve grown to like it… I find myself tracing it a lot during boring meetings…” He trailed off as he placed sweet kisses onto my neck. “It may not be my fondest memory of you but… It still reminds me of you… And how we can work through anything…” He cooed while settling into me more.

“I love you.” I whispered.

“I love you too.” He whispered back as I closed my eyes and relished in the feeling of being enveloped by him, trying to push the pain back and drift off into sleep.


	18. What day?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:  
> “Lord Sixth, I-I didn’t know you were here…” My head snapped to Kakashi and he looked… He looked similar to how he does when he starts to go to that dark place, the one he so often went when we first started seeing each other the first time around. His shoulders were slumped, he head was slightly hung, and he seemed to be looking through things too, such as the way I was. I almost didn’t notice the blood spatter on his forehead... “I’ll see myself out.” WoodPecker spoke before I heard the door shut. I turned my body to Kakashi and held out my arms. 
> 
> “Come.” I told him while opening and closing my hands. He slowly wandered over to me and sat down facing the coffee table. I put one hand on his cheek and pulled him up to my chest to wipe away the blood on his forehead with my thumb before pressing a kiss onto the top of his head. “Where’s Tenzo?” I murmured as I rested my head on his while rubbing his back with my other hand. 
> 
> “Taking care of some things.” He mumbled in a way that sounded like he wasn’t truly here. 

"Lady Kunoichi?" I heard WoodPecker knocking on the door. 

"Come in." WoodPecker popped her head through the door when she heard my command and I set aside the mission assignments that I had just finished up. 

"Grizzly is here to see you." She informed. Good. He was the last one that I needed to convert and it was the end of the week. Hopefully this peace offering will get him on my side. 

"Send him in." I ordered with a sigh before sitting up straight, puffing out my chest and keeping utterly still with my hands clasped on the table. Grizzly walked in. He was a tall, strong man who was bald. He had refused to switch to wearing a hood and I got a good look at his strong features when taking the photo for the profiles. 

"You wanted to see me?" He grumbled while folding his arms against his chest, widening his stance and tensing his muscles so they showed more definition. 

"Yes… I'd like you to teach your wind chakra technique… The… What was it…?" I shuffled through the papers to pull out his profile even though I fully remembered the name of the jutsu. I pointed to the name of the jutsu on the paper and nodded to myself. "Ah yes, decapitating airwaves jutsu. You refined it and made it usable through using wind chakra, right?" I questioned while fully knowing the answer as I placed my interlaced fingers resting on his profile and returned to staring him down. His muscles tensed further as his eyes narrowed while locked onto mine. 

"That's the one…" He grumbled. "But I'm not teaching it."

"And why not?" I interjected with slight annoyance in my tone. 

"Because I made it. I invented it, and I want it to be unique." He answered proudly. So he isn’t going to take the peace offering. I need to figure out why… 

"It's not like it's a renowned jutsu." I remarked, now shifting to rest my head onto my palm to feign boredom. This angered him and was denoted by his scoffing. "I just think it could be a useful assassination technique for wind users. I'd probably be able to figure it out myself as a wind user." I commented while looking at his profile to hear him scoff again and see him shift his weight onto one leg in my periphery. "I just thought you'd like a little power back." I added slyly towards the end to gauge his reaction. His muscles loosened for a moment, only to have his guard go back up. So it's power he wants…

"If you're so confident you can do it, you figure it out." He looked to the side for a moment, breaking our staring contest, and I could see him clenching his jaw. His hands gripped tightly to the bottom of his biceps as he reinitiated the staring contest. "I heard you talking ill of Lord Danzo. I was one of the guards at the hearing."

"Yes you were in the foundation as well it seems." I interjected and noticed dotted scars on one of his fingers. "Tell me, did you ever learn how to pull teeth out properly without having the subject bite you back?" I questioned as smugly as possible and I heard him growl. 

"Lord Danzo never should have let you into his inner circle." He spat, now becoming more aggressive. I don't think I'm going to win him over, but I need to know how far he’s willing to go to see if this individual can even be subjugated… I need to make sure I have an escape route. I reached into my hair while pretending to scratch my head to subtly grab a senbon, making sure to conceal it to where he couldn’t see. After I had a hold on it, I placed my flying raijin insignia onto it and waited for the right time. 

“You’re right, he shouldn’t have, especially considering I was playing as a mole for Lady Tsunade, though he was none the wiser.” I taunted with slight coyness as I motioned with a flick of my hand to subtly throw the senbon to a far wall. His arms unfolded and his hands balled into fists.

“You should watch what you say.” He warned with his voice dropping, with one of his hands unfisting to then have his fingers twitch in wait. 

“I have spoken nothing but the truth.” I stated matter of factly, but he started to reach behind him towards his pouch with weaponry. I quickly used the flying raijin to transport to the senbon I threw angled to his 7. There I quickly reached for a senbon in my hair before he noticed I had disappeared. As he noticed I managed to throw the senbon before he got the chance to turn around; the senbon hit his neck to temporarily paralyze him as the kunai he threw hit the bookcase I had been sitting in front of. I ran towards him to catch him before he fell to prevent the needle from going in further and prevent permanent damage, only he was a little too heavy for me to maintain, so I helped sit him up instead. “Tenzo!” I called out with a yell as I kneeled beside Grizzly. Tenzo rushed in only to stop dead in his tracks. 

“What happened?!” He shouted before he started approaching both Grizzly and I. “Are you ok?” He questioned while helping me up and his eyes started to inspect my body. 

“What did you do to me?!” Grizzly shouted frantically.

“I’m fine. Hold on, I need to contact Kakashi.” I informed and he nodded once he noticed I was fine. 

_ Kakashi, I need you to wrap up whatever you’re doing and come to the foundation.  _ I told him after starting the mind transmission jutsu. 

_ Is everything ok? Are you hurt? Are you in labor? Are you- _

_ I’m fine, I’m not in labor, I’ll explain everything when you get here. _ I interrupted his worried ramblings to explain and reassure him. Silence fell for a moment.  _ Kakashi? _

_ I’ll be there in a moment. _ His voice sounded serious and determined, so I ended the mind transmission jutsu. Once I came back to it, I noticed Tenzo had closed the office door and Grizzly was still shouting maniacally. I opened the door to the once torture chamber to then walk back over to Grizzly and Tenzo. 

“Can you help me carry him to the table in there?” I questioned while pointing to the door I just opened. Tenzo nodded and we both grabbed onto one of Grizzly’s arms to carry him into the room and place him onto the steel table that contained the cuffs coming out of it. Tenzo sat him up while I grabbed some rope to slide underneath his head and prevent the senbon from going further in. “Can you tie him down?” I asked while I sensed Kakashi coming through the door behind me. 

“What happened?” He sounded out of breath and when I turned around to see him, there was sweat along his brow. Seems he ran here as fast as he could. He quickly approached me and started to inspect my body while grabbing onto my limbs, even turning me around and bending himself over. 

“I told you I’m fine.” I grumbled as I snatched back my arm. My eyes grew wide as he suddenly wrapped his arm around my head and pulled me into him with a jerk as he let out a sigh of relief. I closed my eyes and smiled as I leaned into him. “He tried to attack me but I slipped away before he could.” I mumbled against his chest. 

“You’re a bitch who needs her mouth sewn shut!” Grizzly fumed as Kakashi let me go to approach Grizzly. I watched with his back turned to me as his fists clenched. Slowly he took off Grizzly’s mask to then throw it onto the ground and shatter it. “And what are you going to do? You’re nothing but a weak hokage without the sharingan.” Kakashi peered over his shoulder with a look in his eyes I had never seen before… One that was unsettling and so… Dark. 

“Show me what happened.” He growled, but not with the lust I was used to hearing, no, this time with such abhorrence. Still I would need to show him what happened to gain his approval for the decommission. I placed my hand onto his shoulder and showed him what happened. When I finished, I could see his jaw clenching before he turned back to Grizzly. “He was the one that took your tooth out? Did he do the rest too?” 

“Best thing I ever did.” I could hear the smirk in Grizzly’s voice before I could even answer. Kakashi looked over his shoulder again at me, and looked me in the eye. His gaze made my hair stand up. 

“Leave.” He commanded with more depth in his voice than I had ever heard and I could feel knots start to form in my stomach. 

“Kakashi, I can just decommission him and erase-”

“Leave. Now.” He ordered behind gritted teeth as his fists clenched so tightly. I walked out of the room and closed the door behind me, and a moment later I heard the door lock with Tenzo, Kakashi, and Grizzly inside. 

After sitting back down at the coffee table, I went into auto pilot and started doing paperwork. It felt like my brain short circuited as it was void of thought on the surface as I mindlessly assigned missions to other Anbu members. I soon ran out of paperwork to do so I simply stared at the coffee table, or rather, I stared through it. “WoodPecker!” I called out and after a moment I heard the door open, but I didn’t look up. 

“Yes Lady Kunoichi?” She questioned. 

“Bring me some chamomile tea… Enough for two cups at least.” I ordered, but I couldn’t bring myself to stop looking at my hands on the table. Next thing I knew there were two cups of tea before me along with the teapot. 

“Lord Sixth, I-I didn’t know you were here…” My head snapped to Kakashi and he looked… He looked similar to how he does when he starts to go to that dark place, the one he so often went when we first started seeing each other the first time around. His shoulders were slumped, he head was slightly hung, and he seemed to be looking through things too, such as the way I was. I almost didn’t notice the blood spatter on his forehead... “I’ll see myself out.” WoodPecker spoke before I heard the door shut. I turned my body to Kakashi and held out my arms. 

“Come.” I told him while opening and closing my hands. He slowly wandered over to me and sat down facing the coffee table. I put one hand on his cheek and pulled him up to my chest to wipe away the blood on his forehead with my thumb before pressing a kiss onto the top of his head. “Where’s Tenzo?” I murmured as I rested my head on his while rubbing his back with my other hand. 

“Taking care of some things.” He mumbled in a way that sounded like he wasn’t truly here. 

“Ok.” I whispered. “There’s some chamomile tea here for you if you want some.” I told him gently while lifting my head to peel away both my masks before resting my head on his again. 

“Thank you.” He answered mindlessly. 

“He was the last one… The rest have fallen in line. Do you know what that means?” I cooed somewhat happily. 

“Hm…?” 

“That means no more stress… Which means no more migraines…” I told him and he lifted his head and turned to me. 

“They’re safe…?” He questioned as I lowered his mask to then rest my hand on his cheek. I traced his lips with my thumb as he looked at me and not through me. 

“They’re safe.” I confirmed with a soft smile and he pressed his forehead to mine to grow a smile that seemed dreamy almost. 

“Ok.” He rested his head back on my chest and wrapped his arms around my waist. 

“Your babies are safe and that’s all you have to say?” I teased while running my fingers into his hair to start massaging his scalp as my other hand rested on his back. He let out a happy hum as he nuzzled his face into my chest. “Trying to motorboat me?” I joked and he let out a slight chuckle. 

“Thank you.” He whispered and I placed another kiss on top of his head before resting my head back on his. 

“For what?” I wondered aloud.

“For making me feel human again.” He whispered again. His head lifted and he pressed his lips against mine. My hands cradled his face as he clung to me somewhat desperately, pulling at my suit. I pulled off his forehead protector and placed it onto the coffee table without breaking the kiss. My hands returned to cradle his face and I pulled away to press my forehead against his. 

“Kakashi…” I stared into those dark eyes of his. “You’re a good man… You’re human… You’re going to be a great father, I know it.” I tried my best to reassure him, but I could see the worry spread across his face. 

“What if I’m not…?” He questioned and I started to thumb his cheek. 

“Hey…” I cooed. “None of that, you hear?” I warned. “If you aren’t then I won’t be a good mother and these kids are doomed.” I joked and he let out a chuckle. “The most we can do is try… But I really believe you’ll be a great father.” He bore a small smile and leaned in to kiss my cheek. 

“You’re too good to me.” He whispered into my ear before readjusting and sitting facing the coffee table to take a sip of tea. “Are you done for the day?” He asked as I took a sip of my tea. 

“Yeah, I am.” I told him now noticing that WoodPecker grabbed onto the mission assignments. 

“There’s a couple stops I’d like to make on the way home.” He mentioned while resting his head onto my shoulder. 

“That’s fine by me.” I told him while taking another sip of my tea and resting my hand onto his inner thigh. “Do you want to go now? I know chamomile isn’t your favorite.” 

“But it’s yours…” He spoke before kissing my neck. 

“I only asked for it because I thought you could use something to relax you.” I informed while thumbing his thigh. He let out another happy hum before taking a sip of the tea. 

“Do you want to go home?” He questioned. 

“I do…” I admitted and with that he got up and held out his hand for me to take. After grabbing onto his hand and getting up, I summoned up a white, cotton, empire waist dress with lace sleeves. Kakashi came up behind me and unbuttoned the hood to then unzip the suit. I placed the dress onto the coffee table as he helped me get out of the suit without losing my balance. Once I was free from the suit, I slipped on the dress and grabbed the suit to hang it up in the wardrobe. I pulled out the many senbon from my hair and put them into the leather pouch that Kakashi handed me. He undid the bun that rested atop my head as I placed the packet of senbon in the wardrobe. His hand swept my hair aside to expose my neck, which he placed delicate kisses onto. He dragged his lips across the skin of my neck up to my ear. 

“You look so beautiful.” He cooed. “When we get home… I want to take a picture of you, is that ok?” I let out a happy hum as I summoned some ankle boots to put on. 

“Ok.” I answered before doing the hand signs for the camouflage jutsu. I held Kakashi’s hand and we walked out of the foundation to make our way home. Once we were well into town, I undid the jutsu and shifted from holding his hand to holding his arm. He stopped us once we were in front of the Yamanaka shop, to turn me around, facing away from the door. 

“Stay here, and don’t turn around.” He ordered with a seductive whisper in my ear as one of his hands rested on my shoulder. 

“Ok.” I finally said and I felt him leave. I waited outside, enjoying feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin as the last bits of snow melted away. After a few moments he came back to wrap his arms around me while handing me a single rose, much like the ones he would always bring me when he would stop by the flower shop. I smiled as I grabbed hold of the rose and held it up to my nose. He came around in front of me, placed a kiss onto my forehead, and held out his arm for me to take. I held onto his arm and we started to make our way home again. “Thank you… It’s beautiful.” I told him with a smile as I looked at the reddest of roses. 

“Just like you.” He showed me that wonderful closed eyed smile I love so much and I rested my head onto his shoulder as we continued walking. Everyone seemed so happy and it was like romance was in the air as it seemed every other person we passed by was holding hands. We stopped in front of a jewelry store and he turned me to face away from the door again. “Stay here and don’t peek.” He instructed, so I nodded and waited.

“I know I usually give you chocolates-“

“What do you mean you usually give me chocolates?” I asked as I turned around now that he had come out of the jewelry store. He was holding a black velvet box, one that looks like the size for a necklace.

“You know for White day?” He questioned with raised brows and his head tilted to the side.

“What day?” I have no clue what he’s talking about which he could tell by my furrowed brows and slack jaw, but his reaction was to simply chuckle and walk around behind me as I held onto the rose.

“White day is a day where men give presents to the women they love, in return for the chocolates the women give them on valentines day.” He explained as I heard the sound of the box opening.

“What’s Valentine’s day?” I questioned. I was so confused… I never knew I was supposed to get him chocolates… Though I’m not sure what I would get him…

“I always thought you just never gave me anything because you know I don’t like sweets.” He sighed as he put on a necklace around my neck. I looked down to my chest to see the necklace, only the length of it was too short for me to see. I felt it and could tell it was a little heart, I slid my fingers down the side to open it, a locket. He placed his arms around my waist and rested his head on my shoulder. “I thought you could put a photo of the twins in after they’re born…” He whispered before giving me a quick kiss on the cheek and pulling away. I walked into the jewelry store to look into the mirror. There I could see it was silver, just like my wedding ring. In the middle was a small ruby and when I flipped the back I could see it was the Hatake clan symbol that was engraved. When I turned back around he was rubbing the back of his neck and grimacing. “Do you like it?” I smiled, walked up to him, and tightly squeezed my arms around him with my head resting on his chest.

“It’s perfect.” I retracted the arm that had the rose, to bring it up to my nose as he placed his hands onto my waist. I parted the hug, he took my free hand, and we walked out of the store to start going back home.

“So what did you think was going on when I brought you a rose and chocolates on the same day every year?” He wondered out loud as I admired the rose.

“I just thought you went to the cemetery. You always bring me back a flower whenever you visit. I just thought that day you decided to bring me chocolates too.” I told him with a shrug. “Besides, before moving here, I never really kept track of time… Time for me was always measured by mission length… There was one time I didn’t even know it was New Years until I saw fireworks in the distance and heard some faint cheering.” He squeezed my hand and shot me a wistful smile. “When is Valentine’s day?” I asked. I’ll have to figure out something for next year.

“February 14 th .” He stated.

“I’ll think of something to make it up to you for all the years I’ve missed.” I told him with determination as I gave myself a nod.

“May I make a request?” He asked while wearing a sly smile.

“You make make a suggestion.” I warned and he started to look around as we turned onto our street.

“I wouldn’t mind another lap dance.” He mentioned as his voice dropped and he pulled me in, putting his arm over my shoulders.

“Noted.” I told him before pursing my lips and peeking at him from the corner of my eye. I shot him a coy smile before my eyes rested on the cherry blossom tree. There were buds starting to grow. “They’ll start blossoming soon.” I remarked with a smile as I rested the hand with the rose on my stomach.

“The twins or the cherry blossoms?” He teased, so I nudged him with my shoulder as he chuckled. “I’ll grab the camera and a blanket, so we can take those pictures under the tree. Sound good?” He offered while we walked up the steps of the porch.

“Sounds perfect.”


	19. Start taking time again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:  
> I knocked on the apartment door and a very exhausted Kurenai answered. “Kessho. Tenzo. I’m so happy to see you.” She spoke in a way that sounded happy and utterly drained. 
> 
> “I brought food. Take out from the BBQ place. Can we come in?” I questioned with a smile.
> 
> “Hm? Oh yes, of course.” She hummed while opening the door wide for us to come through. Tenzo and I both walked in to see a mess. There were a few dirty dishes out, a cup of tea left on the coffee table, a plate or two on the dining room table... Bottles littered around, a dirty spit up rag here, a clean one there… I guess this is what awaits me soon. I placed the take out onto the coffee table and placed my hands onto my stomach. I don’t mind messes too much… Though Kakashi might. I chuckled to myself as Tenzo unpacked the take out while I picked up the dishes and bottles and brought them to the sink. Kurenai sat down and started to eat as soon as the food was around the table, and I sat to join them. 

I knocked on the apartment door and a very exhausted Kurenai answered. “Kessho. Tenzo. I’m so happy to see you.” She spoke in a way that sounded happy and utterly drained. 

“I brought food. Take out from the BBQ place. Can we come in?” I questioned with a smile.

“Hm? Oh yes, of course.” She hummed while opening the door wide for us to come through. Tenzo and I both walked in to see a mess. There were a few dirty dishes out, a cup of tea left on the coffee table, a plate or two on the dining room table... Bottles littered around, a dirty spit up rag here, a clean one there… I guess this is what awaits me soon. I placed the take out onto the coffee table and placed my hands onto my stomach. I don’t mind messes too much… Though Kakashi might. I chuckled to myself as Tenzo unpacked the take out while I picked up the dishes and bottles and brought them to the sink. Kurenai sat down and started to eat as soon as the food was around the table, and I sat to join them. 

“Is Mirai sleeping?” I questioned before eating a bite of the food as Kurenai nodded. 

“Thank you for bringing food… I haven’t had the chance to eat yet today.” She smiled. “It’s also really nice to have company that can talk.” 

“You should really consider getting some help… What about Asuma’s sister?” I wondered 

“She stops by to help out on occasion, but she has a family of her own to think about.” Kurenai explained with a shrug. 

“Still though, you can ask for help, you don’t need to do everything on your own.” I reminded her with a serious tone. 

“I guess I could be a little bit better about that.” Kurenai admitted. “So… Would you mind sticking around to watch Mirai so I can shower?” She tried to mostly hide her face and looked at me through her lashes. 

“Sure, I’d be happy to.” I answered with a smile which she reciprocated. “Relax and take a bath while you’re at it.” I suggested while she hummed happily. “You look like you could use it.” I joked, her smile faded quickly as she started to pout before finally letting out a chuckle.

“Yeah… I could.” She admitted while scratching the back of her head. “And that does sound really nice.” She confessed as she sank into the chair while placing the plate onto her stomach to continue eating. We all finished up our lunches and Kurenai headed into the bathroom. I went into the kitchen and washed the dishes I had placed into the sink earlier as well as washing the bottles. Once I was done, I sat on the couch next to Tenzo who had cleaned up the take out.

“Word I’ve heard lately is that members appreciate the guard duty rotations, but they don’t like that they can’t interact outside of headquarters.” Tenzo remarked and I sighed. 

“It’s not that they can’t, it’s that their meeting has to happen organically. That rule is mostly written for new members… The idea there is for members not to know who their partner’s real identity is.” I explained while Tenzo tilted his head and raised his brow. 

“Don’t you think that might make things difficult? To build trust, and team dynamics?” He wondered. 

“They can still talk and interact with each other, I’m not stopping them from getting to know each other some. They can make jokes, have banter, inside jokes, bond… The missions themselves will help create that, not the going out drinking afterwards. They can still train together and spend time together within the foundation walls. Think of it like ‘What happens in the Anbu, stays in the Anbu.’” I tried my best to explain, but quite frankly I wasn’t sure I was getting my point across. Tenzo raised his brows and shrugged. 

“That is one way to do it, and it is possible that way, but I don’t know if it’s the best way. I’ll try and help clear things up.” He commented only to have Mirai start crying. 

“Thanks.” I told him while I got up off of the couch. I walked over to the crib that was attached to the bed. I grabbed a hold of Mirai, making sure to cradle her head carefully as she continued to stir and wail. I pressed her to my chest and started to bounce while shifting my weight from foot to foot as she slowly stopped crying and her wails became coos. I looked down to my sundress to see small wet spots at where my nipples were. Of course the day I choose not to wear a bra is the day something like this happens. Now how do I get home? I can’t walk around like this. I cradled her and gave her my pinky to have her hold. She’s so tiny… I can feel myself smiling so wide. Tenzo leaned in to peek at Mirai, with a smile on his face too. 

“She’s so cute.” He whispered excitedly. 

“I know…” I replied. A sudden tightening in my lower stomach occurred, but it went away quickly. That was odd… I shrugged it off and returned my attention to Mirai, who had grabbed my pinky to start sucking on it. After a while of Tenzo and I fawning over Mirai, Kurenai came out of the bathroom. 

“Thank you so much Kessho, I feel human again.” She chuckled as she came around the couch. 

“I’m glad. Is there any way I can borrow a cardigan?” I asked with a chuckle as I looked to my dress. 

“Oh, yes of course!” She grew a little flustered when she looked at my dress before running off behind the couch. Once Kurenai came back, she traded Mirai for the cardigan and I felt another tightening at my lower stomach. Could these be contractions…? I put on the cardigan while I looked at my stomach. It’s too soon… 

“I hate to do this, but I actually need to go…” I told her quietly while getting up. 

“So soon?” She questioned with her eyebrows meeting as they pointed upwards. 

“Yeah, sorry.” I told her with a smile as I reached in to hug her. “Make sure you ask for help.” I whispered to her while in the hug. After pulling away I saw Tenzo getting up in my periphery. 

“You’re welcome here any time.” Kurenai told me as she opened the apartment door. I smiled and nodded to her before leaving. 

“I’ll see you soon!” I waved as I walked off, she simply smiled and nodded before closing the door. 

“Everything ok? You cleared out your day to come visit.” Tenzo commented. 

“Yeah… I think so… Start counting time for me, please?” I pleaded and he raised his eyebrow. 

“What’s going on?” He questioned as we exited the apartment complex. 

“I don’t know yet, please just… Keep time.” I ordered this time, and he nodded. We started to head back towards my house. It wasn’t until we turned onto my street that I felt another tightness in my lower stomach. This one lasted a little longer and felt uncomfortable. “How much time passed?” I asked Tenzo as I admired my cherry blossom tree that was now in full bloom. 

“About 20 minutes.” He answered as I walked up the steps of the porch. The others were more like 30 minutes apart… Ok… I’m going into labor… And there goes my water breaking, amniotic fluid trickling down my legs. 

“Start taking time again.” I instructed as I walked into the house. 

“Ok, but what is this all about?” He asked as I walked over to the desk we kept on the first floor of the house. 

“I’m going into labor and I’m about to send Kakashi a message to let him know, ok?” I told him as I pulled out a piece of paper and a pen to write down the message. 

> _ My loving star, _
> 
> _ You need to come home as soon as you can. It will still be awhile before we even leave for the hospital, but I’m in labor. I love you and I’ll see you soon. _
> 
> _ Love,  _
> 
> _ Kessho _

I rolled up the piece of paper and lifted up my dress so I could teleport it into his hand, through the insignia I left on his palm. 

“Shouldn’t we be going to the hospital then?! Why are we here?!” He shouted frantically. 

“No Tenzo, it’s too early. It’ll be awhile before we leave.” I informed him as I took off the cardigan. I walked into the bedroom and pulled out another dress for me to wear. Another empire waist that was stretchy at the top, strapless, didn’t even bother wearing a bra with this dress. It was linen and coral in color, no patterns on it. A very simple, pastel dress. I walked over to the dresser to grab some underwear and then I headed out to the bathroom. 

“Are you sure?” Tenzo questioned, color drained from his face, clearly worried and flustered. I giggled a little at the sight and rested a hand onto his shoulder as he stood in the doorway. 

“I’m absolutely certain. Kakashi and I will get to the hospital when the time is right.” I reminded him. I retracted my hand and headed over to the tub to turn on the shower. 

“Are you sure you told Kakashi, he’ll be able to read what you sent?” He stammered while still in the doorway. 

“Yes. You know we live far from the hokage tower. Plus if he’s in the middle of a meeting, he’ll still need to wrap it all up before he can come over.” I explained with a slight smile as I placed the dress and underwear onto the counter by the sink. “I’m going to shower, so unless you’re going to watch…” I teased and he immediately turned around after he turned red. 

“I just want to be able to hear you in case you need me.” He explained as I slipped off the purple, empire waist dress that had sleeves that I was wearing. I took off my bra, and underwear as I held onto the counter, trying to prevent myself from losing balance. Once I stepped into shower, I felt the warm droplets fall across my stomach. I tied my hair up into a bun on the top of my head. No need to wash it now… Don’t want to have to worry about wet hair when it was still a little cold out. As I turned, the warm beads of water went over my shoulder, down my back, relaxing my tense muscles as I cleaned myself. I felt another tightening at my lower stomach as I turned off the shower. This one didn’t hurt either, but it was more uncomfortable than the one before. “Tenzo, time?” I questioned. 

“17 minutes.” He called out as I pulled the curtains out of the tub. I started up a warm bath, as I plugged the drain. 

“Start taking time again.” I informed him as I carefully sat up in the tub. The curtains pulled back and I saw Kakashi towering over me with sweat dripping from him, out of breath. He ran again. 

“I’ll take the time.” He mentioned as he crouched down beside the tub. 

“Tenzo. Go get Lady Tsunade, and tell her that the contractions are 17 minutes apart. I need to make sure she’s at the hospital waiting for me.” I ordered, Tenzo nodded and flickered off. Kakashi turned off the warm water that was pouring into the tub before he took off his glove, pulled up the sleeve of his sweatshirt, and clung onto my hand. His head rested on the edge of the tub as his other hand reached around to tuck a few stray hairs back behind my ear. 

“How are you feeling?” He murmured as he thumbed my cheek. I leaned into his hand with a smile on my face. 

“I’m ok. It doesn’t hurt yet.” I whispered. 

“Isn’t it too early?” He whispered back, his voice laced with fear. My free hand rushed to grip onto his wrist. 

“A little, but it will be ok. They’re strong. They’re mostly grown by now.” I reassured as his eyes darted between mine, worry across his face. “Twins come earlier, there’s just less space. This is actually pretty normal.” 

“You’re not just saying that?” He asked as he retracted his hand from my cheek and rested it on the edge of the tub. It was my turn to place a hand onto his cheek, but only for a moment. I removed his forehead protector and lowered his mask without letting go of his hand. My thumb smoothed his cheek as I placed a sweet kiss onto his forehead. 

“I promise. They might need a little help breathing for like a week… They’ll need to be watched closely, twenty-four hour monitoring by a medic, so there’s going to be people around…” I warned as he readjusted to sit down on the floor by the tub. 

“How long?” He questioned quietly, he was a little less tense, but still quite distraught as he tried to take everything in. 

“It depends on how well they continue to develop… It could be up to a few weeks.” I explained as I tried to peek over the tub to see those lovely lips of his that were now hidden. He hummed to himself and looked down in thought. 

“Ok.” He finally whispered after some silence. I started to feel more tightening and my hands flew to my stomach. Kakashi went back to a crouching position with his hands both clasping at the edge of the tub as he watched closely. This time it just barely started to hurt, and it lasted longer than last time. “Thirteen.” He murmured with his lips still hidden behind the tub. His hand went to smooth over the back of my head with his hand resting behind my neck. “You’re not in danger… Are you?” He asked as he stared at my stomach, almost like he was afraid to look at me. 

“No. There’s nothing to indicate I’m in any danger.” I had pulled out one of my hands and shook it before running my fingers into his hair to massage his scalp. “It’ll be ok…” I cooed, he let out a little chuckle. 

“Maybe they’re just excited to see us.” He shed a wide smile at the thought as his hand with the sleeve pulled up went under the water and into the tub to feel at my stomach. “Is that it…?” He asked my two little babies that would soon be here. 

“Maybe…” I smiled while closing my eyes and resting my head against the edge of the tub. “I went to see Kurenai today.” I commented. 

“How is she?” He wondered as he traced his fingertips along my stomach in random patterns. 

“Tired.” I answered with a chuckle. “I brought her food and watched Mirai while Kurenai took a shower.” 

“I can only imagine how overwhelmed she must feel all alone…” He trailed off and my mind went to Asuma. I wish he was going to be able to see them… 

“She started to cry, so I got to hold her for a while…” I mentioned and he laughed a little. 

“Kurenai or Mirai?” He joked and I laughed too. 

“Mirai… Her cries made me lactate a bit…” I explained and his eyes met mine with his brow raised. 

“Oh?” I pushed his head away and he chuckled. 

“I think that’s what made me go into labor early… The hormones from it can cause labor…” I trailed off as my hand went back to massaging his scalp. 

“I’m going to keep thinking they’re just excited to see me.” He teased. 

“Can you go pack a bag for the hospital? And a baby bag? They’ll need clothes, blankets, those spit cloths, diapers, wipes, bottles-”

“Bottles?” He asked with his head whipping around to me. “I thought you were going to breastfeed?” 

“I am… But just in case there’s any problems…” I elucidated as I looked down to my stomach. I hope I don’t have any problems…” My hand stopped for a moment with the scalp massage as I froze in place while I felt another contraction. 

“Twelve.” He answered the question I didn’t ask as he got up. “I’ll go prep the bags. Don’t try getting out of the tub without me… Unless you really need to.” He hesitated as he looked me over. 

“Go.” I shooed him off and he left to go prep the bags. I sank into the tub a little more and closed my eyes. My hands flew to the edges of the bathtub, gripping on tightly as this one started to hurt quite a bit. “Time!” I shouted to then hear footsteps running towards me.

“Eight minutes… Let’s get you out of the tub.” He suggested as I stayed in place, not moving until the contraction subsided. I pushed up on the side of the tubs as Kakashi helped me up and out of the tub. He draped a towel around my shoulders before reaching into the tub and pulling the plug as I dried myself off. I held onto the counter as I put on my underwear, while Kakashi steadied my hips. Afterwards I slipped on my dress while Kakashi walked out of the bathroom. I looked into the mirror as I unravelled my hair from its bun as the tips of my hair tickled the back of my knees. When I walked back out into the living room, I noticed Kakashi was in the bedroom likely packing us some clothes. Wandering to the back of the sofa chair, I gripped onto the back. “Are you going to be able to use the flying raijin like this?” He called out. 

“Yeah, I’ll be-” I stopped as I gripped tightly and moved my hips back as I lowered my body, getting into a 90 degree angle at the pain I was starting to feel in my lower stomach. “Fine.” I grunted. 

“It’s down to five. We need to leave.” He came towards me with both bags in hand as I held my stomach while the contraction continued on. “Now.” He urged. 

“Give me. A fucking. Second.” I growled through gritted teeth as I gripped tightly onto the cushion only starting to let go once the cramp eased up. Now without pain, I straightened and turned over to Kakashi who had two bags in his hands. I chuckled at his readiness despite his mask still being down. His brows furrowed and his head tilted in confusion. 

“Come on, let's go.” He whined as my hands crept up his chest. I pulled up his mask and his eyes widened a little before he chuckled nervously. “Now can we go?” He asked and I nodded teleporting us while I cupped his face and placed a kiss onto those masked lips. He quickly pulled away and placed then ran up to reception. “Kameko, it’s time.” He spoke a little frantically as I approached behind him. 

“I’ll go tell Lady Tsunade.” Kameko mentioned while getting up. 

“She’s not here yet?!” I stammered. “I sent Yamato out to go get her a while ago…” I started breathing a little heavily as Kameko came up behind me with a wheelchair. She helped me get in and started rolling me off somewhere as Kakashi followed closely behind. 

“It’s ok, we have Sakura here.” Kameko reasoned, but I shook my head. She’s too young…

“Has she even delivered a baby before?” I questioned frantically. 

“A few.” She acknowledged as I started to double over in pain, gripping tightly at the armrest of the wheelchair. 

“That’s nothing!” I whined behind my gritted teeth. “Any. Of them. Complications?” I managed to get out as Kameko wheeled us into the room. 

“All were smooth pregnancies.” Kameko remarked. I mean that’s good, but that also means she won’t know what to do if there’s a problem… These are twins in preterm labor… There’s likely going to be a problem…” 

“FUUUUUUCK!” I groaned as Kameko put on the breaks and Kakashi started to try to massage my shoulders but I shrugged him off. 

“Breathe.” He cooed into my ear as I took a deep breath. The contraction finally subsided and I went up to lay onto the hospital bed that was in the seated position. Kakashi put the bags down by the door and pulled up a seat next to the bed. He grabbed onto my hand and held it between both of his, pulling it up to his lips as he rested his elbows on the edge of the bed. Under that mask was a dumb toothy grin while he watched me closely. 

“I’ll go get a nurse to come in and I’ll bring you a gown to change into.” Kameko told me and I saw her wear a rare smile before she left. My eyes rested on Kakashi’s and they were glimmering in the glow of the sunset that crept into the room. 

“I don’t think I can stop smiling.” He sang as he pressed my palm to his cheek. 

“Just wait until I get another contraction, I’ll grab onto you real tight.” I joked and he bit his lower lip while keeping the smile. 

“See? Can’t stop.” He teased as the nurse came in to place an IV into the hand Kakashi wasn’t holding. 

“Do you know where Lady Tsunade is?” I asked the nurse but she just shook her head. Fuck. I need her… Or Shizune, but Shizune was probably with Lady Tsunade. I gripped onto Kakashi’s wrist as I felt another contraction start, this one more intense than the last, but I used all my strength to tighten my bicep and forearm, not on my grip on his wrist. Sakura came into the room and so did Kameko, holding out the hospital gown.

“How far apart are they?” Sakura asked, getting right to it, as Kameko handed the gown to Kakashi. 

“About three minutes now.” Kakashi informed her as I groaned while I felt the sweat start to form on my forehead. These two will be the death of me. 

“Alright, I’m going to check how dilated you are.” Sakura informed as she pulled up a stool and put on some gloves. “Maybe put on the gown first though.” Kakashi helped me up once the contraction finally subsided. He slipped off my underwear and took off the dress in record speed. You’d think we’d be getting ready for sex, not having babies…. I grabbed onto the gown and put my arms through it as he helped tie the back before he helped me back onto the bed. Sakura helped me scoot down and I spread my legs. She checked to see how dilated I was and nodded to herself. “You’re fully dilated.” She mentioned. “You can start to push with your next contraction. 

“Where’s Lady Tsunade?” I questioned one last time as I desperately reached for Kakashi’s hand. Her shoulders slumped some and her lips turned to a frown. 

“I’m sorry Kessho-sensei. I don’t know.” Sakura mentioned as she shook her head. Dammit Tsunade! Kakashi stood up just as another contraction started. These things hurt like a bitch. He placed his arm around my shoulders with his hand resting on my bicep. I put all my focus on pushing with every bit of strength I could. “Good Kessho, keep pushing!” Fuck I want her to shut up right now. Fuck this hurts, why does it feel like I’m being split in two while also having my insides pulled out? I gripped tightly onto the mattress of the hospital bed until I finished with the push. “Ok, I can see the feet.” She mentioned. 

“Did you say feet?!” I bellowed. 

“Move aside Sakura!” When did Lady Tsunade get here? Lady Tsunade pushed Sakura aside as she sat on the stool and put on some gloves. “Alright Kessho, you know what this means, we need to try and get this baby out in the next push. Are you ready?” She questioned and I could feel Kakashi gripping onto my bicep. 

“What’s going on?” Kakashi asked frantically as I nodded to Lady Tsunade. Before I could answer, I could feel the painful twisting strain of another contraction and I pushed harder than I’ve ever pushed anything before, even harder than when I had to push away at the rubble to free Kakashi’s lifeless body from the Pain attack. 

“Good Kessho, keep going. The head’s coming.” Lady Tsunade’s words were both soothing and reassuring as I continued to push, not realizing I have been screaming this entire time. “Alright we have the first.” She took the baby and carried them away. Why isn’t the baby crying? Focus. If that baby was breech, the other probably is too… Ok.

“Kessho… What’s happening?” Kakashi questioned, his voice terrified as he pressed his forehead to my temple. 

“I don’t have time to explain.” I muttered to him while feeling exhausted and starting my medical ninjutsu, trying to feel for the other babies position. It was the same as the first. Alright, I need to shift them while monitoring their heart rate.

“Let me check the heart rate.” Sakura spoke as she approached me, she was flustered and her hands were shaking.

“I got it, Sakura.” I mumbled while using my medical ninjutsu to check the heart rate. Heart rate is ok, time to start shifting. I placed both of my hands onto my stomach and started to try and reposition them. More pain surged through my stomach as I groaned. I watched Sakura run off in my periphery but I just shook my head and focused on what was before me.

“Kessho, stop! What are you doing?!” Kakashi quaked, trying to turn my head to face him, but I kept my eyes on my stomach as I finished turning the baby. 

“I was turning the baby Kakashi!” I shouted while checking the heart rate. Heart rate is normal. Ok, good. “Tsunade what’s happening?!” I yelled. Crying… I finally heard crying. I let out a sigh of relief as I blindly reached for Kakashi’s hand. He grabbed onto my hand as we watched Lady Tsunade bring over our newborn in her arms. 

“He had the cord around his neck. He’s having a little trouble breathing, so we’ll set him up with some oxygen, but I wanted to introduce you first.” Lady Tsunade mentioned while holding him up to me. 

“He…” I hummed as I stared at Obito. He was quiet now, so very pink, with small thin tufts of hair in that same silver color of his father’s. His eyes were closed, so I’ll have to see those later but he has his father’s birthmark. He’s so tiny… I reached out to hold him in my arms, cradling him and making sure to be careful with his head. 

“Only for a minute, then he needs to go to the NICU, you can see him after you’re done.” Lady Tsunade warned as Kakashi placed one hand at the top of my back while the other went to Obito. He traced his forefinger on Obito’s little hands and arms. Under that mask I could see that same look of wonder I normally see behind his camera only now it was sevenfold. I rested my tired head onto Kakashi’s temple as I stared down at little baby Obito. “What’s his name?” Lady Tsunade asked quietly. 

“Obito.” We both answered at the same time with a smile. Lady Tsunade grabbed hold of Obito and placed him into a NICU crib. She must’ve anticipated they’d be needed right away. 

“You said that was normal, right?” Kakashi asked, worry in his tone again. 

“Yes.” He sat down for a moment while holding onto my hand. “Obito was breech. What that means is he was born feet first. He went longer than we wanted without oxygen, and he had the cord around his neck…” I explained calmly as his brows furrowed in worry. There were wet spots at the edge of his mask that I just now noticed. He’s terrified… “Kakashi… It’s ok, he’s ok now.” I squeezed his hand before bringing it up to my lips. “I was turning the second baby to prevent the same thing from happening.” I explained and he let out a slight sigh of relief, though his shoulders were still tense. Lady Tsunade came back into the room without Obito. I miss him already. 

“Kakashi, get up on the bed.” Lady Tsunade ordered, but Kakashi stood up and hesitated. “Behind her, come on.” She insisted, so Kakashi removed his flak jacket and tossed it onto the chair before he got up on the bed so I was between his legs. Once he was settled, I rested up against him with my head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around my waist, placing his hands on my stomach. 

“Obito is ok?” Kakashi asked Lady Tsunade. 

“It seems he’s fine, he’s breathing normally with the nasal cannula. The lack of oxygen doesn’t seem to have created permanent damage.” We both let out a sigh of relief and I closed my eyes as Lady Tsunade started her medical ninjutsu to check the next baby. “Ok good. You changed the position, right?” She questioned, as I answered with a nod. “Good. Obito is 2.3 kilograms, which is normal for this prematurity.” I started to feel another cramp coming on as my eyes burst open. Kakashi helped push me forward some as Tsunade rushed to sit down in front of me as she put on her gloves. I started pushing again, not caring about holding back anymore, trying to hold back the pain. It felt a little cathartic as I let go and screamed those blood curdling screams, and it even helped with the pain. Not by a lot… But some. “Good Kessho, the head is part way out. Finish strong.” She ordered, and I kept pushing. I pushed harder, like when you suddenly give it your all at the last 100 meters of the race. “Good! The head is out.” I was panting as I rested my head back against Kakashi’s chest. He pulled my hair back, brushing the sweat drenched hair off of my forehead. 

“You’re doing so well.” He whispered into my ear as he stroked my cheek with the back of his hand. 

“I better be.” I muttered while he chuckled. Another contraction started and Lady Tsunade started to order me to push again, so push I did. I pushed as hard as I could, gripping onto my knees, nails that were barely there digging into my skin. Just a little more… Just a little more… 

“Just a little more…” Lady Tsunade spoke as if she heard my thoughts. Or were my thoughts repeating what she was saying? I feel so tired. “Kessho! Pull yourself together and push!” I pushed as hard as my body would allow and I heard the screams before I collapsed back onto Kakashi. His arms wrapped around the top of my chest as I continued to pant. 

“You did it…” He cooed into my ear as he rested back against the bed. 

“This one’s got some lungs on him!” Lady Tsunade exclaimed as she approached. Another boy… I giggled at the thought of Kakashi’s face, though I couldn’t bring myself to move yet. “I don’t think he’s going to need any oxygen, and he’s quite far along for the development that he’s supposed to be at.” Lady Tsunade explained while handing me our second baby boy. Instantly I could see how much he looked like Kakashi, even with his eyes still closed, as I cradled him in my arms. He was quite a bit bigger than Obito… Must’ve been hogging all the food I ate. Kakashi placed his hand onto the baby’s head and thumbed it. “You might be able to get away with having him with you when you’re not resting, if you’re up for being the doctor.” Lady Tsunade offered. I’ll take that up tomorrow. I’m too tired now… 

“Yes… I’d love that.” I agreed as I held onto this baby’s hand with my forefinger and my thumb as he calmed down, drifting into sleep. 

“Can we get a room by the NICU?” Kakashi asked and I can hear Lady Tsunade laugh, but my eyes just didn’t want to leave this little baby I waited so long for. 

“You’re Hokage now Kakashi, I’m sure it can be arranged. Now what’s his name?” Lady Tsunade questioned as she came around the bed. 

“Asuma.” Kakashi whispered and I could feel a lump in my throat start to form and tears well up. “What do you think?” He asked as I watched Asuma sleeping soundly and Kakashi placed a kiss onto my cheek. I felt choked up, so I just nodded furiously. 

“You two are a little morbid… But... It’s sweet. I’m going to need to take Asuma now to do a few tests… Ok?” She held out her hands waiting for me. I gently pressed my lips onto that tiny forehead and handed him to Lady Tsunade and watched Asuma until Lady Tsunade left the room. I felt Kakashi’s bare lips on my cheek. He leaned me onto one side while he craned around the other, so he could properly press my lips to his. 

The kiss was warm, and welcoming. He cradled me slightly and gently as he leaned into the kiss more. When he parted, he gave me that close eyed smile I loved while his thumb wiped away a few stray tears. I buried my face into his chest as I gripped at his sweatshirt. “Thank you Kessho.” He mumbled as he wrapped his strong arms around me, making me feel safe and secure. 

“For what?” I muttered against his chest. 

“For everything…” He whispered before kissing the top of my head to then rest his on top of mine. I could feel him pull his mask up as I heard the door open. When I looked to see who it was, I saw it was a nurse, likely here to help me clean myself up. She rolled over with the wheelchair and Kakashi helped me onto it before she wheeled me away into the bathroom. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this labor is unrealistic in how short it is... Oops. By the time I realized it, I had already written everything so I thought fuck it. Plus a 14 hour labor doesn't seem very fun to read but idk. Hope you guys enjoy it anyways!


	20. Sore. Very sore.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:   
> “He’s strong.” Kakashi mentioned and my gaze fell on my two boys… I smiled wide. 
> 
> “Really?” I asked excitedly before I pursed my lips. 
> 
> “Yeah, here…” He handed me Asuma to cradle in one arm. Then he gently took my free hand and pulled Asuma’s tiny little ones up to my finger. Asuma clenched his little hands tightly around my finger as he opened his eyes for the first time that I saw. They were that same onyx color as his father’s and he clasped onto my finger so tightly. I chuckled and felt a tear roll down my cheek. 
> 
> “He is…” I spoke with my grin as I felt the bed dip to have Kakashi’s forehead press up against mine while we both looked down at Asuma. 

The nurse rolled me back out into the room only to see that it was empty. “Where’s Kakashi?” I took control of the wheel chair and rolled to the center of the room. 

“Your guess is as good as mine, but we really should get you back into bed.” The nurse urged, but I didn’t listen. I rolled my way towards the door and pulled it open awkwardly while in the wheelchair, even using my foot. Once I finally managed, I rolled into the hall while wearing the empire dress I arrived in and there was Kakashi at the far end, carrying Asuma. I let out a sigh of relief… Truthfully… I wasn’t sure why I was so frantic that Kakashi wasn’t in the room waiting for me… All I knew is that I really didn’t want to be alone right now. I just… I feel so vulnerable. 

“Kakashi!” I called out and his gaze turned from Asuma to me. He was cradling Asuma in his arm as Asuma gripped onto his father’s finger. “I don’t want Asuma out in the hall like this. I don’t want him exposed and getting sick.” I warned him as he approached with Asuma wrapped in his baby blanket. His lips parted and his face grew worried as he handed Asuma off to me. 

“I didn’t know, I’m sorry.” His lips grew tight with his brows furrowed; he was disappointed in himself. 

“It’s ok…” I cooed as he gripped onto the wheelchair to roll me back into the room while I cradled this little baby Asuma in my arms. “You didn’t know. We’re both going to be learning as we go.” I told him while looking up at him as he looked on ahead. At first he was tense, but his expression softened after hearing my words. I took a look at Asuma as Kakashi came around and held out his arms to take him, but I wasn’t ready yet. He’s so tiny and precious… I placed a kiss onto his forehead and finally handed him off to Kakashi. The nurse that I had escaped from was now helping me up from the wheelchair to then help me up onto the bed. “Can I get some ice?” I asked with a wince as I readjusted on the bed. The nurse nodded.

“Right away Lady Hatake.” The nurse rushed off and out of the room. 

“He’s strong.” Kakashi mentioned and my gaze fell on my two boys… I smiled wide. 

“Really?” I asked excitedly before I pursed my lips. 

“Yeah, here…” He handed me Asuma to cradle in one arm. Then he gently took my free hand and pulled Asuma’s tiny little ones up to my finger. Asuma clenched his little hands tightly around my finger as he opened his eyes for the first time that I saw. They were that same onyx color as his father’s and he clasped onto my finger so tightly. I chuckled and felt a tear roll down my cheek. 

“He is…” I spoke with my grin as I felt the bed dip to have Kakashi’s forehead press up against mine while we both looked down at Asuma. 

“They said we can have him as long as you’re awake and ok to monitor him.” Kakashi informed as he rested his hand onto Asuma’s lower body. 

“Good. Lot’s of skin time then.” I hummed happily as I exposed Asuma’s chest so I could press him up against the exposed part of my chest and shoulder while I cradled his head and body in my hands. I rested back up against the bed that was still in it’s seated position and Kakashi placed one of his hands onto my thighs. The bed smells clean… They must’ve changed the sheets while I was in the shower. Kakashi smiled at me lovingly, but my smile faded. 

“When do you have to go back to work?” I asked, feeling a little choked up. I don’t want to be stuck in this hospital alone… And I love Tenzo like family, but I don’t want him taking care of me like this… I want my husband. 

“Not for a few days… But…” He gave me his closed eyed smile. “I’m speaking to Shikamaru about working from here.” I hadn’t realized I had been holding my breath as I let out a sigh of relief. 

“Thank you.” I whispered as he wiped off a stray tear from my cheek. 

“Are you ok?” He questioned as his hand rested on my cheek. I leaned into it and closed my eyes. “Or is it just a hormone thing?” 

“I… I don’t know.” I whispered. “I know they need to be in the NICU… I just… I really don’t want to be alone right now.” I cried as he readjusted and pulled me into him to cradle me in his arms. His arms wrapped around the both of us with one of his hands resting on the back of my head. 

“Shhh… Hey… It’s ok… You’re not alone… I’m right here…” He spoke in a nice soothing tone while brushing my hair with his fingers. “I’ll find a way to be here for as long as you need me.” 

“Promise?” I mumbled against his chest. 

“I promise.” He reassured as I heard the door open. He pulled away and that’s when I saw the nurse come in. 

“I’m here to take you to your new room. We arranged for you to have a room right next to the NICU, just as you requested, Lord Sixth.” The nurse bowed her head and started to walk towards the bed and Kakashi hopped off. The nurse unhitched something on the bed and started rolling the bed out of the room. I peeked down around it to see Kakashi following closely behind now carrying the bags and his flak jacket over his shoulder. Once we rolled into the elevator, Asuma started to stir and get a little fussy. He was pulling at my hair and I switched positions to cradle him so I could rock him. 

“It’s ok…” I smiled while giving him my finger to grip onto, so he may take it instead of continuing to pull on my hair. He’s so strong… I was rolled out of the elevator and taken into a room where Tenzo was waiting. Tenzo smiled as the nurse rolled me in and adjusted the bed to then lock it in place. “Look! It’s uncle Tenzo.” I chimed to Asuma who had stopped fussing and was simply watching my face. 

“I’ll be right back, I’m going to go get Obito.” Kakashi mentioned. 

“But he has to stay in the crib, with his oxygen…” I took my eyes off of Asuma to look up to Kakashi. 

“It has a battery it can run on and I can roll it in here for a bit…” Kakashi explained with his closed eyed smile. “The nurses have been filling me in. It will be ok.” I nodded and he left the small hospital room. Tenzo sat on the edge of the bed and peered over as my eyes returned to Asuma. 

“This is Asuma.” I told him with a smile so wide. 

“May I?” Tenzo motioned towards Asuma, and I hesitated a bit. I want him to hold Asuma… But I just… He’s so precious. I placed a kiss onto Asuma’s forehead and handed him to Tenzo, holding his head until it was safely in the crook of Tenzo’s arm. 

“This is Uncle Tenzo, Asuma.” I repeated as Kakashi came into the room with Obito’s crib. He rolled up the crib next to my bed and carefully took out Obito, taking extra caution with the cord from the oxygen supply. Tenzo scooted down to the end of the bed and Kakashi sat next to me, cradling Obito in his arms. “I don’t want anyone else holding Obito, other than you or me, ok?” I warned and his eyes lifted from Obito’s to mine. “I don’t want to risk him getting sick, not when his lungs aren’t fully developed.” I explained while placing a hand onto Kakashi’s thigh. He pursed his lips and nodded before looking back down at Obito. 

“Naruto, Sakura, and Guy are here.” He mentioned as Obito started to get a little fussy, so he started to bounce him a little.

“They can come say hi, just from a little bit of a distance.” I explained, he nodded and carefully passed Obito to me. He placed his hand onto my thigh and placed a delicate kiss onto my forehead. 

“Are you up for it though?” He whispered as he placed his other hand onto my cheek. 

“Yeah…” I smiled while watching Obito. His little tufts of silver hair, his birthmark that matched his father’s, his little nose, eyes that were a little darker than mine, but not quite onyx colored… “I don’t mind.” 

“Ok.” He whispered before placing another kiss on my forehead before getting up off of the bed. I switched to pressing Obito against my bare skin, the way I held Asuma earlier. Kakashi left the room, presumably to go get my next visitors. One of the nurses came in to switch out my IV. 

“Can we make sure that they get placed in the same crib?” I questioned the male nurse who was fiddling with the IV bag. “I want them both together if they can’t sleep with us.” 

“That should be fine. I don’t see why not.” He nodded before he left as the one from earlier came in with the ice I had asked for a while ago. She helped me put Obito back into the crib, being careful with the cord supplying the oxygen and then handed me the ice packet. I placed the ice between my legs, which stung at first, but started to provide some relief after a minute. The nurse handed me a blanket, which I used to cover my lower body. Soon enough Kakashi came rolling Guy in with his wheelchair as Tenzo passed Asuma onto me. I cradled Asuma in my arms staring into those tiny onyx eyes that reminded me so much of his father’s. 

“Sneaky-sensei!” My head snapped up to see Naruto with a wide toothy grin on his face as he walked towards Kakashi, Guy, and Sakura. 

“It’s good to see you Naruto.” I smiled as I turned back to Asuma who had started to pull at my hair again. I could hear Kakashi talking away but I couldn’t take my focus off of Asuma. My heart felt so full… So full I thought it might burst. After some time passed, honestly I don’t know how much since when I would stare at Asuma time stood still, Shikamaru, Choji, and Ino walked into the room. 

“Kessho-sensei!” They all shouted as they rushed in and Asuma started to cry at the shouting. I started to rock Asuma in my arms as Ino bickered with Shikamaru and Choji, as if she hadn’t just shouted herself. I peeked over to Kakashi to see he had taken off his sweatshirt and was cradling Obito with bare arms… Good. He should start with the skin to skin. Shikamaru came around to me, and I could smell the faint hint of cigarettes on him… The same brand Asuma used to use. 

“So, who is this?” Shikamaru asked as I felt my eyes start to water with a smile still on my face. Asuma calmed down and I gave him my finger to hold. 

“This… Is Asuma.” I told all three of them as I peeked up at them. Shikamaru closed his eyes as he looked down with a smile, Ino’s eyes welled up as she smiled too, and Choji… Well… As in touch with his emotions as he was, he started bawling. 

“Hmph… It’s going to be a little strange having a student named after my own sensei.” Shikamaru commented while I chuckled. 

“Don’t you be trying to back out now.” I joked, but Shikamaru just shook his head. 

“Can I hold him?” Ino asked excitedly as she came closer to me, pushing Shikamaru a little out of the way. I laughed a little and nodded. I gave Asuma a kiss on the forehead, and carefully handed him to Ino.

“Careful with his head.” I warned with haste as she cradled him. All three of them huddled together cooing over little baby Asuma. Lady Tsunade came into the room and walked straight up to me. 

“You’ve got a full room.” She remarked and I let out a chuckle. 

“Yeah… I do.” I told her while peeking over at Obito in Kakashi's strong arms. He looks so happy… 

“How are you feeling?” She questioned while placing a hand onto my shoulder. I turned to face Lady Tsunade who was smiling with a slight hint of concern. 

“I’m ok. Sore. Very sore. And a little tired, but I want everyone to meet them…” I trailed off at the end as I saw Asuma’s grip onto Shikamaru’s finger. He’s so grabby… I chuckled to myself. 

“I’ll get you something for the pain. Do you have ice?” She questioned and I nodded. “Alright, in a bit we’ll come with someone to help you with breast feeding. Asuma should be able to.” She remarked and I could feel myself light up. 

“You think?” I asked with an excited gasp as I looked up to this strong woman I admired. She chuckled with a nod. 

“I’ll get you some naproxen, that will help with the swelling too.” Lady Tsunade started to walk off but I grabbed her wrist. 

“Thank you… For saving Obito.” I told her with a slight smile as she whipped around to me. 

“It was a joint effort.” She smiled as I let go of her wrist. As soon as she left, Kurenai came in with Mirai and Anko who came up to me. 

“You should have told me that’s why you left.” Kurenai mentioned with a smile as she held Mirai against her chest. 

“Truthfully I wasn’t sure that’s what was happening when I left.” I chuckled as I started to hear Asuma crying. Shikamaru came up from between Kurenai and Anko while he was holding Asuma to pass him to me. 

“Seems he wants his mom.” Shikamaru chuckled as he handed him off to me. I cradled Asuma into my arms and gently rocked him while Ino and Choji peeked behind Anko. 

“I missed you too.” I cooed with a baby voice. Wow… Who would’ve thought I’d do that? I chuckled at the thought as I pressed my lips onto Asuma’s little forehead. He waved his little arms around as if he was trying to grab onto something, and soon enough he found a piece of my hair and latched on. 

“So who is this little guy?” Anko questioned. I looked up to see the trio had gone over to see Obito and Anko had gotten closer and was smiling. 

“His name is Asuma.” I looked up at Kurenai when I spoke and she clutched onto Mirai tightly as she smiled while shedding a couple tears. “Kakashi suggested it.” I told her as I looked back down to Asuma. 

“It’s perfect.” Kurenai whispered as Asuma continued to pull away at my hair while he cooed. Kurenai and Anko leaned over Asuma and started to make faces at him, trying to get his attention while he watched them both with wide eyes full of wonder. Lady Tsunade came in a few moments later with the meds and I took a look around the room. Everyone was here… If my heart didn’t burst with love before… It certainly did now. Someone I didn’t recognize came into the room. 

“Alright, time for everyone to get out.” Lady Tsunade declared loud enough for everyone to quiet down and turn to her. Asuma started to cry and Obito started fussing. They really don’t like loud voices… Have to keep that in mind. Everyone started to say their goodbyes and Kakashi put Obito back into the crib. Everyone started to leave and I waved goodbye while Kakashi rolled out with Obito. “Kessho, this is Kimura Daitan, she’s the lactation expert.” 

Diatan was a little taller than Lady Tsunade, wore big round glasses in front of her emerald colored eyes and wavy orange locks framed her elongated face. “We’ll wait for the father.” She remarked curtly as she pushed her glasses back up the bridge of her nose. Kakashi came back in and his face flashed from exhaustion to confusion as his eyes went to Diatan, to loving with a smile as they turned to me and Asuma. Asuma was still crying as Kakashi approached and his smile faded. 

“He’s just hungry.” I explained with a smile. 

“That’s why I’m here. We should get started.” Diatan explained in a way that was very matter of factly as her hands rested in the pockets of her doctor's coat. Kakashi sat at the end of the bed and listened attentively. She started to explain the benefits of breastfeeding, most of which I knew already, but Kakashi listened in closely. She then asked me to lower my dress to expose my breast for Asuma to feed. I readjusted his position so that he was facing my nipple with it right in front of his mouth. Asuma was still crying and I was trying my best to soothe him. “Place the nipple into his mouth directly.” Diatan ordered as she started to readjust my breast for me without warning. Still to no avail, Asuma didn’t latch on, though he did start to quiet down some as his hand found a chunk of my hair. He started to pull and his mouth hovered right over, but he wouldn’t latch on. Come on Asuma… You can do it… Please Asuma… I held him close while cooing to him, trying to get him to latch on, but he still wouldn’t. Why won’t he? Is it me? Did I do something wrong? Am I not doing it right? Diatan didn’t correct me, I feel like if I was doing something wrong she would correct me… So why isn’t he? Am… Am I not… Not good enough…? Diatan started to pull him away. 

“No, no. What are you doing? Just give him another minute!” I reached out trying to get him back but as I stretched the pain from my swollen bits took over as I winced and went back to my seated position. 

“It’s not good for him if you’re getting frustrated like that. We can try again later.” Diatan informed as I raised my hand to my cheeks. Frustrated? I felt tears that were rolling over as I looked down at my exposed chest. 

“He still needs to eat.” I mentioned as I placed my arms over my chest while I hunched over. 

“And I’ll teach you hand expression. I needed to teach you for Obito either way since he hasn’t developed the ability for suckling, it’s also possible that Asuma hasn’t either.” She mentioned off handedly. Kakashi slid up the bed and placed a hand onto my jaw, tilting my face up to him. 

“You hear that…? Maybe he just isn’t there yet.” He reasoned as he pressed his forehead to mine. Maybe… I gave him a nod and he placed a sweet kiss onto my forehead before he moved back towards the end of the bed. 

“The babies can sense the frustration, and if they don’t attach naturally, they can grow an aversion to the breast. You’re going to have to wait for it to happen naturally.” She explained as she placed Asuma into the newborn crib. I didn’t mean to Asuma… I just… I want to connect with you.

“Ok. Teach me how to hand express, please.” I told her quietly as I wiped the tears from my cheeks. Kakashi got up to get one of the bottles we brought as Diatan explained how to do it. She placed her hand into a c formation, close to the areola and told me that I would squeeze then. She then grabbed the bottle and removed the top to place it under my nipple. I followed her instructions and squeezed, but to no avail. Why can’t I do this right? Why can’t I do any of this mothering stuff? 

“Maybe we should get the father to help.” She suggested as I felt more tears welling up. 

“M-me?!” Kakashi asked with the blood draining from his face before red started to creep on the edges of his cheeks that we could see as he pointed to himself. 

“Is there another father I should know about?” She questioned while turning to me. I furrowed my eyebrows and shook my head. “Then yes, you.” She stated as she turned back over to face Kakashi as she placed her hands back into her doctor's coat pockets. 

“I’ll give you some privacy.” Lady Tsunade commented before nodding to both of us and stepping out. Kakashi hesitantly slid up closer to me and Diatan grabbed his hand to place onto my breast. She kept trying to twist it in a way that his current positioning wouldn’t allow, so he got up and stood behind me leaning over me. He still felt really tense and awkward as he did it but he managed to help me express a drop or two. 

“You’re doing it correctly, but I think that this tension between you two isn’t helping. You both need to relax if this is going to work. Maybe you two could try a position that is a little more intimate to help relax you both.” Diatan insisted. I pursed my lips for a moment as I looked back to Kakashi who was still very visibly nervous and flustered. His hand was tense and his positioning was awkward as he tried to lean around me without touching me. 

“Could you give us some alone time? I’ll call you back in later…” I pleaded as Diatan’s brows furrowed and a look of confusion spread across her face. She gave a quick nod before leaving the room. Kakashi’s hand receded and he bent over beside me while placing his hands on his knees. 

“Everything ok?” He questioned with his head tilted. I pulled down his mask to see the red fading to a slight pink. 

“You were never going to get more intimate with her here.” I commented. His head hung for a moment as he laughed. When he faced me again he showed me that lovely closed eyed smile of his. 

“No, probably not.” He admitted while placing a hand on my thigh as he straightened up. “Scoot forward a little.” He requested, so I took the medicine Lady Tsunade had placed on the stand, swallowed the pill, and scooted forward a little after placing the cup of water back on the stand. He sat behind me so that I was between his legs. I rested my arms on his bent legs with my hands holding onto his knees. He delicately pulled all my hair around to one side and pressed his lips softly onto the crook of my neck. I tilted my head away to welcome more kisses, which he gladly obliged as he placed his bare hands onto my biceps. His kisses traced up to my jaw and with a single finger on my chin, he turned my head to face him. “You ready?” He whispered as he nuzzled his face into the side of mine, pressing his forehead onto my temple. 

“Mhm.” I hummed as I pressed my back onto his chest and rested my head onto his shoulder. He reached his left arm over my shoulder and hair to cup onto my breast while I moved the bottle and held it under my nipple. His right hand went to my breast with his hand forming a c shape near the areola to squeeze. He placed soft kisses onto my neck as he kept going and a small moan escaped my lips. His hand suddenly froze before he pulled away. He grabbed hold of my chin with his forefinger resting onto my lips. 

“Are you… Was that… Turning you on…?” He questioned with a whisper in my ear.

“I… It’s just… Yes.” I sheepishly admitted. “It’s just been so long for us.” I leaned to the side so I could face him head on. I ran my hand across his cheek and to his neck and gripped tightly onto the back of it before kissing him deeply. His lips, so warm and soft against mine. When we parted, he pressed his forehead against mine and I could feel his warm breath against the cool hospital air. His warm arms… His warm touch… I moved my head back to rest it against his shoulder as I nuzzled into his neck. He moved his hand back to my breast to collect more of the colostrum. 

“It doesn’t hurt, does it?” He whispered. 

“No.” I mumbled against his neck. “No, but I won’t be ready for anything for a few weeks.” I groaned quietly and he chuckled.

“Always so eager.” He teased before stopping. “I think you’re done.” He cooed before placing a kiss on top of my head. I checked the bottle and it seems like that should be enough for both Obito and Asuma. I let out a sigh of relief as I leaned back into him again. “Is that going to be enough?” He wondered. 

“Mhm…” I hummed happily as he wrapped his arms around my upper body and squeezed me tightly. 

“I could tell you were frustrated at not being able to feed. What’s wrong Kessho…? Talk to me…” He pleaded with a whisper. 

“Hand me the top of the bottle.” I ordered. He handed it to me and I screwed the top of the bottle on as Kakashi pulled on the the crib edge to bring Asuma towards us. I rested the bottle on my lap as I reached over into the crib to pull Asuma out and cradle him in my arms. I switched to one arm and grabbed onto the bottle and placed it up to his lips. His hand moved up to my fingers where it rested as he took the bottle into his mouth and started to suckle onto it. At first I was happy and smiled wide… But… He could… Which meant it was me… I was the problem… 

“What’s wrong?” Kakashi questioned again as he wiped away the tear I didn’t realize I had. 

“What if I’m not good enough…? What if that’s why he won’t latch on? Like he knows I can’t be a good mother or something…” I whispered as my hand started to shake, but Asuma clung onto my finger tightly. 

“See that? He just clung to you… You’re going to be a great mother, breastfeeding or not.” He mumbled against my neck as his arms wrapped around my waist. 

“It’s just… I’m scared I won’t be able to connect with them otherwise… I’m worried I won’t have a bond with them.” I confessed as Asuma finished feeding, with plenty left for Obito.

“I’m scared too.” He mentioned as his lower lip dragged across my neck and the touch sent shivers down my spine. “But we’ll figure it out… Like we always do.” He whispered into my ear before placing a kiss onto my cheek. 


	21. Probably hungry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:  
> “Kessho… Can you stop hiding please?” He pleaded as I laid in the fetal position under the covers staring at nothing. Feeling… Nothing… I felt the bed dip and the covers pull away from behind me. Next was warmth… Such loving warmth being wrapped around me. Sweet kisses on my cheek, neck, and shoulder. I craned my neck to expose more skin to feel his touch. He snaked his hand under the empire waist dress and started to rub my behind. He squeezed tightly as he nipped my neck and I arched my back as a moan escaped my lips. “I’m not hurting you, am I? By turning you on?” He wondered aloud between kisses. 
> 
> “No.” I moaned as his hand moved up to grope my breast. “Don’t stop.” I whimpered breathily. I needed to feel… Feel something… His legs intertwined with mine and I started to rub myself against him. His hand started to snake down to the hem of my underwear but I gripped onto his wrist. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to just say that I've never breastfeed, nor do truly know the issues that go on with breastfeeding. I just write where the story takes me and this is where it went. If this is inaccurate I'm truly sorry. I'm not trying to be accurate here, I'm writing a fictional story, but I'm also not trying to perpetuate any misinformation so please heed this warning. I'm truly sorry if this offends anyone, makes them feel inadequate, bad, or misrepresented. It's not my intention to do so and this is the theme over the next few chapters...

It had been a little over a week since I gave birth. I used medical ninjutsu on myself to reduce the pain and swelling… Everything was back to normal there… I could walk without pain, and all that was left was the bleeding from the reduction in uterus size. Asuma still wouldn’t latch on… I feel myself slipping away and there’s too much light being let in by these white bedsheets I’m trying to hide under. Asuma is bottle feeding well… I’ve started using a pump. It’s more efficient, and Asuma is a hungry boy. My chunky boy. Is he mine though? 

He’s Kakashi’s… Asuma is the spitting image of him… I even woke up once to see Asuma laying on Kakashi’s chest while Kakashi was fast asleep. Kakashi was only wearing pants, and Asuma was sucking on Kakashi’s nipple. I thought it was funny at first, but… It just made me feel more inadequate. What more am I than just a food pump right now? I just don’t feel… Connected to them… They feel so forgein now. I can press them to my bare chest, but they never do anymore than lick my skin. They lick everything that goes in their mouths… They’re babies. I’m so happy Kakashi is still here. I… I don’t know what I’d do if he were working right now. Well, working at the office I mean. He hasn’t left my side at all. He’s the only thing keeping me from fully succumbing to the numbness… The dark place… The one I’m trying so hard to fight against. Keeping myself here as much as I can… That’s what Asuma would want. Dead big bro Asuma. I don’t know what baby Asuma would want. Clearly not me. 

“Kessho… Can you stop hiding please?” He pleaded as I laid in the fetal position under the covers staring at nothing. Feeling… Nothing… I felt the bed dip and the covers pull away from behind me. Next was warmth… Such loving warmth being wrapped around me. Sweet kisses on my cheek, neck, and shoulder. I craned my neck to expose more skin to feel his touch. He snaked his hand under the empire waist dress and started to rub my behind. He squeezed tightly as he nipped my neck and I arched my back as a moan escaped my lips. “I’m not hurting you, am I? By turning you on?” He wondered aloud between kisses. 

“No.” I moaned as his hand moved up to grope my breast. “Don’t stop.” I whimpered breathily. I needed to feel… Feel something… His legs intertwined with mine and I started to rub myself against him. His hand started to snake down to the hem of my underwear but I gripped onto his wrist. 

“What? Is something wrong?” He asked as he suddenly stopped his nips and kisses, but I shook my head. “I can usually smell it on you by now.” He remarked.

“I won’t get wet… At least not as much, and not while I’m breastfeeding.” I explained as his hot breath tickled my neck. “Let’s go to the shower… Less mess this way.” I suggested.

“Shame.” He mentioned before taking in my scent. “I loved smelling how wet you would get for me.” He spoke in a deep, dark, lust filled tone. I felt him climb out of the bed and just as I was about to sit up, he shoved both his arms underneath me and cradled me in his arms as he carried me off to the bathroom. After placing me down he started the shower and I reached to the back of his skintight shirt and started lifting it off of him. Once the shirt was off, he turned around to remove my dress before breathing me into a kiss. He cupped my face in his hands and I placed my hand onto his hips. His tongue explored my mouth for the first time in too long. He lowered my underwear and I started to remove his pants without breaking the kiss. Soon enough we were both undressed, only ever parting our lips for a second. We stumbled into the hot shower and he pushed me up against the shower wall, and I let out a gasp against his lips. “Too rough?” He questioned while he pulled away, panting slightly. I threaded my fingers into his hair and grabbed a fistful to bring his ear against my lips. 

“Not rough enough.” I purred into his ear. He wrapped one hand around my neck and the other went to grope my lower cheek to press me up against his hardening length. I rested my free hand on his hip and grasped on tightly, sinking my nails in as I pulled his hair down to press his lips up against mine. He parted and tugged my bottom lip between his teeth and I hooked my leg around to the back of his knee to press in as I pulled his head down to my breasts. His fingers went to pinch my overly sensitive nipples and I moaned out. As my hand gripped at his shoulder he moved to nip around my breasts leaving what would be marks as he went along. His tongue circled around one of my nipples before he started to suck on it. My eyes closed and I rested my head against the wall while arching my back to push my chest further into his face. 

“Red.” He spoke sounding a little nauseated. My eyes opened, I let go of his head, and he was smacking his lips while making a disgusted look on his face. My milk… “It’s so sweet.” He explained and I found myself laughing at him. He stood back up and I placed my hands on his hips. 

“So you’re not into that then?” I teased while smiling and biting my lower lip. He scrunched his face and shook his head before smiling and brushing the wet hair out of my face. He pressed his hips to my lower stomach and I could feel his girth still half hard. 

“No…” He answered before nosing his way down to my ear. “Are you still in the mood or did I ruin it…?” He questioned playfully. I threaded my fingers back into his hair and pulled him back to then bite down onto the part of his shoulder that is always exposed when he wears his skintight shirts. I sucked down hard, trying my best to leave a mark. He always leaves me with marks for everyone to see, now it’s my turn. I started to nip and suck at every area of his skin that I knew would be exposed on those shoulders of his.

“Fuuuuck…” He groaned as he pressed his hips up against me. He’s too clouded to notice what I’m doing. I smirked against his skin before turning him and pushing him against the wall, the back of his hips up against the handicap bar. I pulled his lips down to mine again to pull him in for a kiss before I put my foot onto the handicap bar and pressed my slit against his length. His brows furrowed as he pressed his forehead to mine. “You sure this will be ok?” He questioned. I grabbed a tuft of his hair in my fist and pulled his ear to my lips. 

“Shut up and fuck me.” I demanded behind gritted teeth and I could feel his smirk against my cheek. Despite my demand, he went in slowly… Achingly slow… Fucking tease, although… In this case it was probably for the best. He started with just the head of his girth, and paused before pulling me into a kiss. His girth slowly slid the rest of the way in, bit by bit, until he bottomed out within me. I let out a loud groan as I closed my eyes and thrust my head back. He started out slowly while lacing his fingers into my hair as his other hand rested on the edge: partly on my neck, partly on my chest. His hand that was on my neck traced my body down slowly as he continued to thrust into me, with his hand settling and gripping tightly onto my hip. He squeezed tightly as he gave a few rough, hard thrusts before pulling me into a kiss.

After a few more thrusts, he pulled out, got behind me, pushed me up against the wall, lifted my leg so my foot was on the rail again, and thrust back into me with a loud groan. He wrapped his hand against my neck and pulled me flush against his chest and he started thrusting into me now at a dizzying pace. His other hand slid down to my bundle of nerves as he circled his finger around it. I rested my head against his shoulder as I let out a loud moan while his hand around my neck crept up slowly. Eventually his hand reached the other end of my neck and a couple of his fingers slid into my open mouth that was moaning out his name. He started to press soft kisses on my neck as my muscles started to tighten. His lips trailed up to my ear and he started to nibble on my ear. “Kesshooooo…” He whispered as I gripped onto the railing with my hands, trying to steady myself. 

His pace lost all rhythm which meant that he was close, and I knew I was too. I gripped tighter onto the railing and his finger was working wonders on my clit. I started to hold my breath and… I let out a loud moan as I felt my walls tighten around him. A moment later I felt his hot liquid fill me as he collapsed onto me after giving a few final thrusts. His strong arms wrapped around me after I lowered my foot and he pulled out. I placed my hands onto his forearms and leaned back against him again. One arm wrapped around my waist while the other wrapped around my upper chest. He nuzzled his face into my neck as I relished in his warm embrace. “Kessho… I know you’re frustrated about Asuma, but… He still needs you. You need to try to be here.” He spoke gently into my ear as he rocked us side to side. 

“I know… I’m trying. I just feel so… Disconnected.” I didn’t know how else to describe what I felt. 

“We can try Obito… He should be big enough now, right?” Kakashi suggested before placing a kiss on the top of my head. 

“I’m scared.” I whispered. “What if he doesn’t either?” I questioned while gripping tightly onto his arms. 

“We’ll work through it. You can keep pumping, we’ll do more skin to skin…” He squeezed me a little tighter. “You’re still their mother Kessho.” 

“I-I… I don’t feel…” I cried as the tears mixed with the water drops and I honestly wasn’t even sure if I was really crying… 

“You don’t know until you try… So let’s try.” He suggested before placing a sweet kiss onto my temple. I hesitated as I moved away from his grasp. He turned off the water and I buried my face into his chest. “I’ll be right there with you.” He cooed. After another moment of hesitation I nodded against his chest. We both dried off and got dressed before walking back into the room. I put my hair up into a bun on the top of my head and shivered at the cool hospital air. Kakashi walked over to the bed and grabbed a blanket to drape over me as we walked into the NICU. There we saw Asuma and Obito laying together in the crib. I opened the crib and grabbed a hold of Obito and placed his head against my chest while Kakashi readjusted the blanket so it stayed in place around me. I walked over to one of the rocking chairs in the NICU and took a seat, readjusting the blanket so that I could cover my chest. I lowered the empire waist dress to expose my chest and cradled Obito in my arms, placing my nipple right at his mouth. Kakashi crouched and crossed his arms over my lap and he rested his chin on his forearm as he watched. Obito was cooing away, making noise (not fussing), with mouth wide open… Not latching on.

“Come on Obito…” I whispered while bouncing him a few times. He cooed happily at that. He loved being bounced. 

“It’s ok… Give him a chance…” Kakashi spoke gently while he moved to smooth over my calf with the side of his head resting on his arm. I waited while staring at Obito’s birthmark. That same birthmark that Kakashi had hidden away underneath that mask. 

“You gave him a bottle for the first time this morning, right?” I asked after a while had passed with no success. 

“Yes.” He answered hesitantly. 

“And he took it? Without issues?” I questioned with a little more anxiety hidden away in my tone.

“Yes.” He acknowledged with a whisper as he started to smooth over my calf again. Of course he did… Because that’s not what the problem is. The problem is me. I took one look at a little baby Obito who had just started to cry… Probably hungry. They’re always hungry. Now I was staring through him. Because it’s me. I’m the problem. I’ve thought this before, and I still think it now: I wasn’t cut out to be a mother… “Alright I think it’s time for a bottle instead.” Kakashi spoke as he took Obito from my arms. My head hung and I clutched the blanket around me. That’s when another blanket draped itself around me… Numbness. 


	22. Of April?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:  
> “It’s like…” He started as he lowered his mask with his free hand. “You go into autopilot… Sometimes for days at a time. It’s like you’re not really here. Then you have these short stints where you’re here again, lucid.” He explained. I can see that. I probably have been doing it. “It’s like when we lost the baby… But we didn’t lose these Kessho. They’re right up stairs. Your two little boys…” He paused for a moment, staring at me, before placing a sweet kiss on my forehead. “Please Kessho… I need you to try.” He pleaded as his eyes started to well up. I gripped tightly onto his wrist and pulled his forehead to mine and I nodded furiously as I felt lump forming in my throat. 
> 
> “Ok.” I whispered. “I’ll try. Just please… Please don’t leave.” I begged as I desperately clung to him with my hand in his hair. His brows furrowed before he shook his head. 

Time had passed… Though I’m not sure how much… I was home now. Under my own covers… It’ll be time to pump again soon. Maybe Kakashi will have me hold them again. I hope he doesn’t have me go up to their room. I just... Can’t. It’s so emotionally taxing holding Kakashi’s babies in that room. That room that was supposed to be for our babies. They don’t feel like my babies… So I don’t call them that. I’m just ye olde pump. I am the giver of milk. That’s all I am. That’s all they want me to be… 

The covers pulled back suddenly to reveal an annoyed Kakashi. “Kakashiiii…” I whispered while looking up at him from laying on my side. His expression softened and he kneeled in front of me, placing a hand on my cheek.

“Kessho…” He cooed while thumbing my cheek. “We need to talk.” Knots started to form in my stomach and he got up onto the bed to lay down behind me. I rolled over to face him and he stared at me with a frown. “This isn’t working Kessho… I need you to try to be more present.” He placed his hand onto my cheek again and thumbed it as I latched on to his wrist.

“What do you mean?” I questioned while thumbing the back of his palm as I furrowed my brow. 

“It’s like…” He started as he lowered his mask with his free hand. “You go into autopilot… Sometimes for days at a time. It’s like you’re not really here. Then you have these short stints where you’re here again, lucid.” He explained. I can see that. I probably have been doing it. “It’s like when we lost the baby… But we didn’t lose these Kessho. They’re right up stairs. Your two little boys…” He paused for a moment, staring at me, before placing a sweet kiss on my forehead. “Please Kessho… I need you to try.” He pleaded as his eyes started to well up. I gripped tightly onto his wrist and pulled his forehead to mine and I nodded furiously as I felt lump forming in my throat. 

“Ok.” I whispered. “I’ll try. Just please… Please don’t leave.” I begged as I desperately clung to him with my hand in his hair. His brows furrowed before he shook his head. 

“No… I’m not going anywhere.” He reassured me while he held me so our cheeks were pressed together and I buried my face into the crook of his neck. My arms snaked around him and I clung onto him tightly. “There’s something else I need you to do.” He stated, but it sounded like a warning. I pulled back so I could face him and I saw the worry spread across his face. “Help me understand. I know you aren’t good with words, but I need you to try, o-or show me, use the mind transmission, something…” My eyes widened before I shut them tight and shook my head. “Kessho please… I need to understand.” He begged with his hand clinging to the back of my head. 

“No…” I gasped while shaking my head as a couple tears escaped. He brushed away the tears as his eyes darted between mine. 

“Why?” He whispered.

“I’m scared.” I admitted as more knots formed in my stomach. 

“Of what Kessho?” 

“That you’ll leave when you see…” I confessed as I felt the blood drain from my face. Kakashi shook his head as he brushed my hair back and tucked it behind my ear. 

“Kessho… I used to live in the dark place too, remember? I won’t leave. We’ll work through this.” He encouraged while pressing our foreheads together, so I showed him. I showed him my thoughts. Everytime I felt I wasn’t good enough. Everytime I felt inadequate. Everytime I felt like nothing more than ye olde pump. Everytime I didn’t feel like I was their mother. He pulled back and placed a kiss onto my forehead… But he said nothing. My breathing picked up as I started to hyperventilate and my hands started to shake. “No… Kessho… It’s ok.” 

“It’s not ok! That’s the whole point!” I cried out, now starting to actually sob. 

“Kessho!” He raised his voice to call my attention while cupping my face in his hands as he clenched his jaw and shook me a bit. My mouth parted with a gasp as he held my face so tightly. “We can work through this.” He seemed so tense now. Trying to force determination... "Just try." He pleaded with his expression softening. 

"Ok." I answered with a nod. “Ok. What do you need from me? What do you need me to do now?” He pursed his lips as he thought about it for a moment while brushing my hair with his fingers. 

“Why don’t we take… A nice relaxing bath together…?” He suggested and I nodded. “And we can bring Obito or Asuma in for some skin to skin time.” My eyes darted between his, my jaw clenched, and I clung to him tightly as I moved past and rested my cheek on his. “Shhhh… Relax… Don’t think about it, just simply be there. Focus on staying present with him. Let whatever feelings happen, happen.” He held the back of my head tightly as he whispered. “Can you do that…? Please…?” I needed to. He needs me to… He’s been taking of me and the twins… And working as Hokage… I clung to him tighter, wrapping my leg around him. This man is so kind, and amazing, and just… I nodded. I need to try for him. “Ok.”

“I’ll go start the bath… Can you go get one of the boys? That room… I’m not-”

“Ok. Just stay here.” He clung tightly to me. “Stay present.” 

“Ok.” I squeezed tightly before pulling away. I rolled over so that I could get up and out of bed. Light bled into the room… Something like mid afternoon? I walked out of the bedroom in one of Kakashi’s shirts and underwear to see Tenzo on the couch reading. I know he’s been here a few times but… He looks like he’s been staying here with that blanket and pillow on the couch. Kakashi came up from behind and placed a kiss on top of my head before heading up stairs. I walked to the tub and turned it on so the water was warm, but not as warm as I usually like it. I got undressed and went into the tub as it started to fill up. Kakashi came in with Asuma in his arms. He’s gotten so big. He’s so chunky… I half smiled and so did Kakashi when he saw mine. 

“Good. Obito was still asleep. Sorry it took so long, Shikamaru needed me for a few things.” He mentioned while undressing Asuma on the counter by the sink. 

“Shikamaru is here too?” I questioned as I turned off the water that was up to my waist. Don’t want it too high… This should be good enough. 

“Yeah… He’s been here everyday so I can work from home.” He mentioned and I hung my head as I looked at my lap. “Kessho.” Kakashi called my attention as he held out Asuma for me to take. I grabbed onto Asuma and sat him into my lap. He must be a whole kilo heavier… I pulled up my knees and rested his back against my thighs so he was facing me. 

“I’m sorry…” I whispered as I clung to Asuma’s little hand while I brushed his hair back. Asuma’s eyes were looking around the room before he splashed at the water. 

“Scoot forward a bit more.” Kakashi pleaded, so I moved forward a bit more as he got in. Once he was settled and I was between his legs, the water level had risen a bit and he wrapped his arms around my upper torso. “It’s ok… I don’t mind. I’ve gotten to spend all this extra time with Asuma and Obito. They set up a video thing so I can call the other Kage from here if I need to. They all sent something for them by the way.” He mentioned before kissing my cheek. 

“Gifts? For Obito and Asuma?” I questioned and he nodded. “That was kind. So everything has been calm? Peace is still being kept?” I wondered as Asuma started to splash some more, now realizing he was the one who splashed in the first place. 

“Yeah… It needs to be kept.” He whispered as he reached out to grasp onto one of Asuma’s hands. “For them.” 

“How’s the Anbu been? Wait… What day is it?” I asked. 

“The 14th. The Anbu has been good. The previous commander likes the changes you’ve proposed. To maintain cohesion and order, he’s kept them in place. The workshops have been going well.” He informed before placing soft kisses along my shoulder. 

“Of April?” I wondered given how much heavier Asuma was.

“Of May, Kessho…” He sighed as he carefully pulled my hair from between us to then brush to one side. He’s been taking care of all of us for over a month and a half, while keeping up with his Hokage duties… I don’t deserve him. I don’t deserve any of them… “Hey.” Kakashi started calling my attention. “Kessho.”

“Hm?” I hummed coming back to it. Asuma had both of my forefingers in his hands and was waving them around. 

“None of that right now. Where did your thoughts go?” He questioned in a manner that sounded more like an interrogation. I tensed up a little before groaning and resting my head on his shoulder. 

“How good you’ve been. Taking care of them  _ and _ me. You shouldn’t have to do that.” I told him as his arms snaked around my chest before placing a kiss onto my cheek. 

“Kessho… I would do it all for you. I don’t mind taking care of all three of you, but I want you to get better, Kessho. It hurts me to see you like this… So distant and not… Not the radiating warmth that melts my heart.” He finished with a whisper in my ear. I smiled and chuckled a little. 

“Now who’s the cheesy one?” I teased and Asuma smiled. “See? Even Asuma finds it funny.” Kakashi’s arms left me to reach out to Asuma. Kakashi put his hands over Asuma’s who was still gripping onto my finger and Kakashi started making baby noises, and cooing happily. 

“Kessho… That’s the first time he’s smiled.” He chimed excitedly. “He likes hearing you laugh… I do too…” He finished with a whisper. I moved away so I could face him and he placed a soft kiss onto my lips. “I’ve had a lot of help too.” He mentioned when he pulled away and we both turned to Asuma who was still smiling and splashing the water. 

“Yeah I noticed Tenzo has been staying here…” I mentioned off handedly. “You should let him go back to the Anbu…”

“I did. He insisted on staying. He said his job wasn’t done until you were ready. I tried to get him to go back to his life, but he kept saying he wouldn’t be a good uncle if he didn’t stay.” I couldn’t help but laugh and Asuma smiled a bit wider before wiggling himself back and forth. 

“Tenzo’s such a good boy.” I teased with a giggle as Asuma fell forward with his head onto my chest. “Oops!” I giggled a little more. 

“Pakkun lets us know when one of the twins are crying, Lady Tsunade has been stopping by to check in on you…” 

“I haven’t seen Lady Tsunade…” 

“That’s because she’s been helping me. She’s helping me understand what’s going on with you, and how to talk to you.” He explained gently. 

“So that explains the sudden emotional awareness…” I teased with a chuckle as I held Asuma against my chest as he wiggled side to side against my grasp. 

“He’s so excited and happy Kessho… I don’t think I’ve seen him like this before.” Kakashi smiled against my shoulder and I could feel Asuma’s mouth open against one of my breasts. I started to tense up and Kakashi wrapped his arms around my shoulders and gave me a reassuring squeeze. “Relax… You’re not trying to breastfeed. You’re just spending time with your son. That’s all…” He spoke in a quiet soothing tone directly into my ear and I sunk back into him, just trying to relax. 

“Oh!” I looked down to see Asuma… He… He latched. He was finally breastfeeding…  _ My _ breast. “Kakashi!” I giggled as I held tightly onto Asuma. 

“He just needed you to relax... That’s it.” He cooed and I could feel his smile pressed against my ear before he turned and I felt his cheek. I started to feel a sense of calm wash over me as I held onto Asuma. I did start to feel connected to him when he smiled but… Now… I know he’s mine. I can do this… I can be a mother. I stayed there, soothed and in the moment, for as long as Asuma needed as Kakashi placed gentle kisses onto my neck. “You can do this Kessho.”

“I know…” I answered with a half smile. 

“Come on. The water is getting cold, let's get out.” He suggested once Asuma stopped feeding. I pressed Asuma to my chest holding him tightly as I got out of the tub. I grabbed onto a towel to then place Asuma seated on the counter with me holding him up, to dry him off, but he started fussing. “He tends to fall asleep right after he feeds.” Kakashi explained as I tried to calm him while bouncing him in my arms with the towel wrapped around him. I should have known that… I’ve missed so much… I won’t let myself miss anymore. “Wait here, I’ll go get us some clothes.” Kakashi told me as I watched him wrap a towel around his hips. “Tenzo, cover your eyes.” He ordered as he opened the bathroom door. I faced away from it as I started bouncing Asuma in my arms with his head above my shoulder. Burping… He was just fed right? I should burp him. I started to pat his back while shifting my weight from leg to leg. He burped once by the time Kakashi came back. “He doesn’t burp much.” Kakashi mentioned as he grabbed onto Asuma. 

I turned to see what he brought me and saw a yukata I had shortened to reach my thighs. It was red with black roses on it, one I wore pretty frequently to Rei’s back in the day. I chuckled as I slipped it on, without underwear seeing as how Kakashi either forgot to bring some, or intentionally left them behind. “You planning something later?” I teased as I tied the yukata shut with the koshihimo. 

“Maybe.” He shrugged before donning a sly smile behind that mask attached to his skintight shirt. He looked so… Attractive as he bounced Asuma in his arms… The ripples of his well defined muscles as he held onto our child. This man was my husband… The father of my children… I crept over to him and tugged at the hem of his sweatpants. He hummed as he crept closer and nosed his way to my ear. “Later… Now I can fuck you properly without that stomach of yours getting in the way…” He growled and oh if I wasn’t breastfeeding, that alone would have me dripping… I quickly put on the red soft obi he brought me and I tied it down before taking Asuma back. We walked out of the bathroom and I carried Asuma upstairs to his bedroom. 

Once up in their room I rested Asuma onto the changing table and put on a diaper as well as a navy blue shirt with the konoha leaf symbol in red. Obito was there crying now as I rested a fussy Asuma at his side. I picked up Obito and cradled him in my arms while walking over to sit in the rocking chair. Once I sat down, I started to tug at the yukata to expose my breast but Kakashi stopped me by grabbing my wrist. “Don’t.” He warned before crouching in front of me. I was taken aback as I snatched my wrist from his grasp. “Just take the win for today Kessho. We can try Obito some other time.” He suggested gently. My brows furrowed as I stared at Obito who was still crying. 

“But I’m his mother.” I replied as Kakashi let out a sigh. 

“What if Obito doesn’t latch? You took one step forward today… Don’t take two steps back.” My eyes lifted to Kakashi’s worried stare as he rested his hands on my thighs. “Please Kessho… I need you here.” He’s right and I sighed. I’ll take the win for today. I turned my gaze to Obito who was still crying despite my rocking. 

“Ok.” I nodded as I got up. Kakashi placed his hand on the small of my back as we went down stairs. Kakashi went to the kitchen as I went to sit on the sofa chair while holding Obito. Tenzo put his book down on the coffee table as I bounced little baby Obito. 

“You’re looking a little more human.” Tenzo commented as he folded his arms across his chest. 

“It was getting a little hot in that empty shell.” I joked as Kakashi came around with a bottle for me. I held onto the bottle and started to feed Obito. “I was finally able to breastfeed Asuma.” I remarked with a smile while staring at Obito. 

“That’s great Kessho!” Tenzo exclaimed and I heard Kakashi walk over to sit near Tenzo. I heard Tenzo and Kakashi start to murmur between each other, but I just ignored them. I figured I’d give them some privacy. 

“You’ll be next… At least I hope you will…” I told Obito with a whisper. He stopped feeding and I rested the bottle on the arm of the sofa chair. 

“Kessho.” Kakashi called out. I looked to him and he tossed me a spit up rag that had been laying on the coffee table. I placed the rag on my shoulder and I started to burp Obito while watching Kakashi and Tenzo. I hadn’t realized how tired Kakashi looked as he rested his head on the back of the couch. He had bags under his eyes that were now closed, his hair was a little more messy than usual, and… I think he might be sleeping. For him to fall asleep that quickly… I continued to burp Obito as I carried him up to the bedroom. Once I got there I rested him next to Asuma, who was already fast asleep. When I got back down stairs, I saw Kakashi was still asleep and I decided to take advantage of the fact that I still had some motivation left. 

I went over to the kitchen and pulled out one of the oranges in the basket. I started to peel it and strip away all of the strands delicately before placing the individual wedges onto a small plate. Once I tossed the bits into the bin to take out to the compost (courtesy of Tenzo), I placed the plate on the coffee table for when Kakashi woke up. Afterwards, I went back into the kitchen to start making dinner. I checked in the fridge and we had everything for Kakashi’s favorites. The saury, eggplant, veggies… Perfect. Just something to show him I appreciate everything he’s done. 


	23. Do you want to trade?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:  
> “Oh, Shikamaru… You should head on home.” I mentioned as I started to walk towards the stairs. 
> 
> “Lord Sixth and I were supposed to debrief.” Shikamaru replied as he got up and started to walk towards the bedroom. 
> 
> “Shikamaru!” I called out, so he stopped abruptly and looked at me with a raised eyebrow. “Go. Home.” I ordered. 
> 
> “But-” 
> 
> “You two can debrief first thing tomorrow morning, now go. Home.” I commanded and he scowled for a moment before nodding and heading out with a wave.

“It smells great.” Kakashi wrapped his arms around my waist and placed a kiss on my cheek. I guess I went into auto pilot again. 

“I just wanted to thank you for keeping everything together and taking care of us.” I told him as I continued to serve everything on the plates I had set out. Kakashi started to bring out the plates to the dining table as I continued to divvy up the rice into bowls. 

“You missed a stringy bit on one the wedges. You’re getting sloppy.” He teased as I watched Tenzo sit at the table in my periphery. 

“Maybe if you just ate them like a normal human, I wouldn’t have to worry about being sloppy.” I teased back before throwing some chopsticks at his bicep, which he caught before they hit him. I smirked at him while he laughed as I brought over the bowls of rice while Kakashi went to go get the soup. I sat down at the table and we all started to eat dinner. 

“I have a meeting after this with the other Kage.” Kakashi remarked. 

“Ok. Everything ok?” I questioned. 

“Yeah, I’m just making some trade deals. Although… There’s something they want to trade that I’m not too keen on…” He let out a heavy sigh before resting his chopsticks laying across the bowl. 

“What is it?” I questioned as I squeezed his shoulder. He was so tense. His head hung as he pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“They want to trade for Hashirama cells, but I don’t think it’s wise to let more scientists have them.” He wrapped one arm across his own waist and rested his elbow on the back of his hand as he hunched over. 

“Why not?” I asked and his head snapped up to me. His brows were furrowed and his lips were tight. “They have great regenerative abilities and they could really help a lot of ninjas.” 

“Yes but they can be used for other things too, eventual weaponry and-”

“So can a lot of other things Kakashi… You have to see the good that comes with the bad.” I reasoned but he shook his head. 

“Yes but those are such extremes and I’m not sure they’re worth it.” He groaned and I rested a hand onto his thigh.

“You know they won’t just sit by idly while we have them…” I warned as I put down my own chopsticks. 

“I know, I know.” He repeated before putting his face into his hands and groaning again. 

“I have a suggestion.” Tenzo spoke up sheepishly with his forefinger raised as he put down his chopsticks too. Kakashi peeked up from behind his hands and I watched Tenzo expectantly. “What if we forfeit our usage of it? Lock it away like a forbidden jutsu.” Tenzo suggested and I shook my head. 

“That could work… At least for now.” Kakashi nodded as he picked up his chopsticks. 

“Kakashi… But there’s so much good they could do… We can’t just lock them away. We were able to make Naruto a whole arm.” I reasoned as he placed the chopsticks back down and he stared at his food with his hand balled into a fist. 

“Who’s to say they won’t make a whole human? An army?” He turned to face me with pain in his eyes. “I can’t risk that.” I pursed my lips before nodding. “There’s some other stuff I need to talk to you about. I’d rather fill you in on the situation than the previous Anbu commander, especially given your understanding of the cells.” 

“Ok. What is it?” I asked as I took a bite of the fish. 

“Later. In my office.” He mentioned before continuing to eat. I nodded as the silence fell and we ate as Shikamaru came down from upstairs. 

“Oh! Shikamaru! I didn’t know you were here.” I told him while getting up. I ran to grab a couple bowls to serve him some rice and eggplant miso soup. “Please, sit.” I insisted as he stood by. He nodded and went to go sit at the table after mumbling something into Kakashi’s ear. I brought over the bowls and placed them in front of Shikamaru before sitting back down. “Thank you for working with Kakashi from here, Shikamaru.” Shikamaru gave a polite nod before digging in. Kakashi and I finished up our portion, though I left about half of what I initially served myself… Guess my appetite still isn’t fully back yet. Baby steps… I took my bowls into the kitchen and covered them to then put them in the fridge. Kakashi placed a hand on the small of my back. 

“Come with me to the office.” He whispered into my ear. I held his hand and walked with him to the office and when I walked in, I noticed he changed the layout to match his office in the hokage tower. He closed the door behind me and pulled me to sit with him on the couch. We sat facing each other with one leg on the couch. Kakashi’s elbow rested on top of the back of the couch and he rested his head on his hand as he pulled his mask down. “There’s a problem with the Hashirama cells.” 

“What do you mean?” I interjected. 

“Orochimaru’s lab… There’s been some Hashirama cells stolen. At least that’s what we know if we are to believe him.” Kakashi explained as he traced his fingertips of his free hand along my calf. 

“And you don’t know who has them… Which is why you have to assume the worst is what will be done with them…” I reasoned aloud. His gaze fell to watch his fingertips. 

“This will be your first mission, when I think you’re ready. It should be you. You know the most about them, I don’t want anyone else involved in this, and you’re the best for concealment.” He shrugged and I smiled wide. I felt… Giddy. It would be my first time on the field in almost a year… I watched his finger movement as I started to plan out what I would do. “I said when I think you’re ready.” He warned with a commanding tone. My eyes lifted and my grin faded to a soft smile. 

“I know… But you’re actually suggesting I be the one to go out.” I explained as I took his hand in mine. 

“Don’t get used to it.” He muttered before sighing. “I’m also not sure what to do with Orochimaru. He wants to start his lab again. He claims that he won’t do anything illegal, but I don’t trust him.” 

“I can check in with him.” I suggested. 

“Hm?” He furrowed his brows upwards in confusion. 

“One of the stipulations can be that he has to show me his research. I’m sure I’ll understand it, or at least I’ll know enough to make sure that I can verify what he’s doing abides by what you want. He’s always been into science for curiosity’s sake. We might learn something valuable if we just let him dick around in a lab.” I reasoned and he gave me his closed eyed smile. 

“That sounds great… Plus you have the highest clearance so no need to involve anyone else with that. Now it’s a matter of having him be watched. I still don’t think he should go surveilled… Originally I wanted to place Tenzo, but you were still pregnant and then…” He sighed. “I’m not sure who to put.”

“Kakashi, any member of the Anbu would be well qualified. Plus Tenzo is far too valuable to have him simply watch Orochimaru.” An alarm started to go off mid sentence and Kakashi rushed up to put on his hokage hat and his haori before taking a seat at his desk. He started fiddling around with the screens on his desk and I walked around to see slowly all four Kage appear on the screen. They all greeted each other and quickly went into discussing trade agreements. They were discussing resource allocations, everything from food to medical supplies, to discussing factories planned out and what they’d be able to trade in the near future. All boring economic stuff that went over my head. I rested my back up against the bookcase as I watched Kakashi discuss away. He looked so stoic and composed. He was actually pretty well suited for this… I’d even venture to say he was learning to enjoy it a little. 

“And what of the hashirama cells?” Lord Tsuchikage questioned. “I may be old, but I’m not senile enought to forget about such a thing!” 

“Yes. We are not willing to trade for those.” Kakashi stated with a tone that was very be-all end-all. 

“And what? We’re supposed to stand by and hope you don’t use them against us as you research something dangerous with them?!” Lord Raikage… Always getting angry. I heard a table smash. “I will not stand for this Lord Hokage!” Kakashi closed his eyes for a moment and rested his head on his fist. 

“If I may propose a solution?” Kakashi asked. 

“Yes… Please…” Lord Kazekage hummed.

“I would like to establish an agreement that no nation conducts research on hashirama cells… At least until I can come up with a better solution.” Kakashi proposed. Each one of them started their own murmurs, likely with their advisors. 

“How do we know you’ll stop performing research on the hashirama cells…?” I heard the suspicion in Lord Tsuchikage’s voice. 

“My wife was the last one to conduct any research on them. She’s the one who spearheaded the project on Naruto’s arm. Oddly enough she considers science… Her “hobby” and she’s since been reassigned and no scientist has been assigned to conduct research on them.” I did my best to hold back some snickers at his air quotes over my hobby. I heard a few more murmurs again. 

“I’d like to make it a treaty. Anything less will be unsatisfactory.” Lord Raikage stated in that deep, raspy, commanding voice of his. At least it was calm. Kakashi nodded. 

“I’ll write it up and send it off.” Kakashi told them. 

“How is your wife?” Lady Mizukage questioned. 

“She’s good.” He answered plainly with his closed eyed smile, likely hoping for them to not ask any further questions. “I don’t have any other matters to discuss, do any of you?” They all murmured their no’s and said their goodbyes before Kakashi turned off the screens. He face planted his head onto the table and I slipped off his hokage hat and placed it on top of a pile of papers while chuckling. 

“Don’t act like you didn’t like some of that.” I teased as he twisted his head so he was looking up at me with his head still on the desk. 

“I mean I like some of it, but the parts I don’t like…” He let out a deep sigh. “It’s like all the stress of a mission with none of the adrenaline.” He commented and I scrunched my face. 

“That sounds terrible.” I commented. 

“Do you want to trade?” He asked, perking up. I shook my head and started to back away. 

“No thanks, you keep it.” I commented. 

“Oh come on, you can do it.” He smiled playfully as he got up from behind the desk. 

“Nah, economy stuff flies over my head.” I started waving my hands back and forth while shaking my head as I backed towards the door. 

“Oh it’s ok, Shikamaru can help you with that.” He commented while waving me off as he crept closer. I phased out the door and started running down the hall while giggling. Kakashi started chasing after me down the hall upstairs. “Come on!” He whined.

“No! I refuse!” I called out before I managed to get into the bedroom and I quickly closed the door behind me… Only to find him already waiting for me in the room. 

“That’s cheating!” I pouted while crossing my arms against my chest as he crept closer to me while shedding his haori. 

“You cheated first…” He spoke in that deep dark tone as he cornered me with my back against the door while he lowered his mask. His hands went to either side of my head as he closed in on me. I placed my hands on his cheeks and breathed him into a kiss. My hands then left his cheeks to put onto his shoulder so I could jump and wrap my legs around his hips. He slammed my back into the door as one arm helped hold me up by gripping onto my thigh and the other went to cradle and protect the back of my head. He thrust his hips upward and I could feel his clothed girth poking up at my exposed entrance causing me to moan against his lips. I broke the kiss to tug at his shirt, trying to pull it off. He thrust his hips forward to hold me up against the door as we both took off his shirt. 

His hands then went onto my thighs as I started to nip and suck on his neck. One of his hands left my thighs and planted itself onto the door by my face as he held himself up while he moaned out my name. My arms were wrapped around his back and as he moaned out I started to claw. I want to up my game though… So I stopped. I dropped my legs down, I let go of my hold, and I slipped away. His head turned to me as he looked over his shoulder and I showed him my devious little grin. 

"I think it's time for you to behave…" I warned with a purr as I walked over to the dresser and reached in the top drawer. There I pulled out some chakra rope and a nice leather flogger to show to him. His eyes glinted as he turned to rest his back on the door with his hips bucked forward. I walked over to him slowly while swaying my hips to then tug at the Hem of his pants. "Off." I commanded before walking back to the center of the room. He followed me closely with his head hung, still wearing that sly smile. His hair was hanging in front of his face that looked so sinister and filled with lust and desire. "Kneel." I ordered, so he did. I tied him so that his hands were behind his back but away from each other while his forearms tied together with some shibari. Once I finished I walked around to face him I admired how nice he looked, all tied up with his head hung, hair hiding his face… Prefect… 

I used the handle of the flogger to lift his face by the chin. “What’s the safe word?” I questioned with a smirk. 

“Pancakes.” He mentioned with a slightly smug smile. I tossed up the flogger in my hand so that I caught it to hold it properly, and I lashed the flogger against his chest. He pulled in a deep breath through gritted teeth and shuddered. I grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled his head up so he was facing me. “Mistress…” He hissed with a smirk

“Good.” I purred as I crept closer so that his hunched body would lead his face to be met with my core when I let go of his hair. I smoothed his hair before I flogged his back and he shuddered again. “I think I’m going a little too easy on you…” I cooed as I played with tufts of his hair. “What do you think?” I wondered, but he just buried his face into my yukata with his nose right at the edge of my slit. I flogged him hard this time, leaving tiny red welts along his back. He breathed in loudly through gritted teeth and let out a groan. “I asked you a question.” I demanded with the same powerful tone I used when commanding my Anbu agents. He rested the side of his head against my upper thigh and revealed a dreamy smile with his eyes closed. 

“It seems you’ve reamedied the intensity… Mistress.” He dreamy smile turned sinister and he peeked up at me from the corner of his eye. I brushed his hair back with my free hand so that I could see his face. 

“It seems I haven’t enough…” I purred before hitting him hard enough that the welts wouldn’t fade in a matter of minutes… No… These would last a while. He bit onto my thigh to contain the groan as he shuddered in pleasure, while I cooed and played with his hair gently. “Yes… You bite down as you need to…” I told him gently before hitting him again just as hard. He bit down even tighter as he moved his bite a little more inwards. 

**KNOCK KNOCK**

“Kessho, Asuma is crying and I think he’s hungry.” I heard Tenzo speak from behind the door as Kakashi tensed up. 

“I’ll be out in a few minutes.” I called out as I dropped the flogger on the floor and Kakashi let go of my thigh. 

“What?!” He questioned desperately, his eyes wide as he stared up at me. I crouched down in front of him and cupped his face in my hands while pressing my forehead to his. 

“You see… My breasts, they’re just so full right now and starting to hurt.” I cooed to him and his eyes returned to that normal lust filled look they had. “So I’m going to take care of them and you… You’re going to stay here.” I told him and he started to try and nose his way to my ear. 

“Here…? Mistress?” He whispered as I released his girth from his underwear. 

“Yessss…” I hissed into his ear and he shuddered before he nuzzled his face in the crook of my neck. He was absolute putty in my hands right now… “And this…” I started as I caressed his hardened length with one of my hands. “This better be up and waiting for me when I come back.” I warned him as I rubbed the precum on the head with my thumb as he let out quiet moans against my skin. “Is that understood?” I questioned while grabbing a fistful of his hair with my other hand and pulling his head back so that his eyes met mine. 

“Yes mistress.” He whispered and I yanked his head so that he landed sideways on the floor. I walked out of the bedroom, making sure to not open the door very wide to make sure Tenzo couldn’t see Kakashi in his current… state… When I turned around I saw Shikamaru waiting on one of the sofa chairs. 

“Oh, Shikamaru… You should head on home.” I mentioned as I started to walk towards the stairs. 

“Lord Sixth and I were supposed to debrief.” Shikamaru replied as he got up and started to walk towards the bedroom. 

“Shikamaru!” I called out, so he stopped abruptly and looked at me with a raised eyebrow. “Go. Home.” I ordered. 

“But-” 

“You two can debrief first thing tomorrow morning, now go. Home.” I commanded and he scowled for a moment before nodding and heading out with a wave. I walked up stairs and into the baby room. Both of them were crying now, probably both hungry. I grabbed onto Asuma and held him while setting up the pump on one of my breasts so that I could feed Obito after I was done with Asuma. Once I finished setting up the pump while seated in the rocking chair, I readjusted so that I cradled Asuma in my arms and after a moment or two he latched on. I felt a calming sensation wash over me as I smoothed back those silver tufts of hair on Asuma’s head. He was reaching around trying to find something to grab, so I gave him one of my fingers. His hand started to pull at my finger while he fed and I just rocked in the chair back and forth. After he was done, I grabbed onto one of the spit up rags, tossed it over my shoulder, readjusted Asuma, and started to burp him. He let out a quiet little burp that sounded so tiny and cute. I held him for a moment so I could look at him and he just smiled. “All full now?” I cooed and he rocked his body forward to where it almost looked like he nodded. I let out a chuckle and he smiled again happily. I held him against my chest as I removed the pump so I could put Asuma in bed. Just as I was walking over to the crib Asuma started to get fussy, so I put him down quickly. I then grabbed onto Obito, took the milk I just collected, and started to bottle feed Obito as I cradled him in my arms while seated in the rocking chair. 

Obito was hungry it seems… He went through the bottle fairly quickly. Seems he’s finally trying to catch up to his brother. I started chuckling and I could hear Asuma cooing happily while kicking in the crib. He really does like my laughter it seems… But they should be going to sleep soon… So I started singing the lullaby that Inoichi taught me that was meant for my mom to sing to me while I burped Obito. After I finished with that I placed Obito into the crib and sang the song again, once more while crouched in front of the crib, trying to be eye level with them. Around the second verse they finally fell asleep, but I didn’t leave until I finished the song. I finally felt close to them… I quietly left the room, making sure to even use a few shinobi skills, so I didn’t wake them up. 

Once I got back down stairs I saw Tenzo peeking up from his book. “They’re both asleep. Thanks for sticking around to help out Tenzo.” Tenzo nodded from behind his book and went back to reading, so I crept back into the bedroom. 

“Mistress…” He hisses in a way that sounded more exasperated than angry. His body had moved some, but he was still in the same position on the floor as when I had left. I walked over to see his hardened girth was still fully erect. He looked so pretty laying on his side, all tied up, ready to be used… The crop… I want to use the riding crop this time… Much more precise. I headed over to the dresser and opened the top drawer to get the riding crop. Once I felt the length of it in my hands I swayed my hips while making my way to him. The tip of the crop traced along his skin before I bent over, grabbed a fistful of his hair and straightened him up. He hissed at the roughness of it all, now clenching his jaw as I sat down on his lap and placed the crop next to me on the floor. I pressed his girth between my folds as I cupped his face in my hands. 

“You were very good.” I cooed and he closed his eyes and leaned into my touch. I brushed his hair back with the hand he wasn’t leaned into and placed a sweet kiss on his forehead. “Do you want your mistress to give you that pain you want?” I questioned playfully with my lips brushing against his ear. He nodded as he nuzzled his face into my neck. “Do you want me to make you worthy of feeling your cock inside of me?” I teased as I traced my fingertip along the back of his shoulder while continuing to whisper in his ear. He nodded again and I grabbed the crop and hit his back. He bit into my neck and moaned. “Use your words.” I teased. 

“Yes mistress.” He sighed happily. “Please make me worthy mistress…” He whispered into my ear. I bit the bottom corner of my lip as I rolled my hips to rub his girth against my slit. Slowly, I got up and traced the crop along his shoulders before slamming it down across his thighs. He winced as he yelped quietly behind his gritted teeth and I started to trace the crop along his skin again. I hit along his back once, twice, thrice… Each one harder than the last and he arched his back in pain, groaning each time through gritted teeth. I ran the crop tracing up his spine before slamming the crop down onto his shoulder. I traced it along his cheek from behind as he scowled at me. A smirk formed on my lips as circled him while tracing the crop along his skin and I revealed in the sense of control. This strong shinobi, usually so commanding… Wrapped around my finger, bent to my will, shriveling under my thumb. I slammed the crop hard onto his thigh. That welt will surely last a week at least… I let out a happy hum as I traced the crop along his length and he shuddered at the touch. I then traced it up his stomach, chest, neck, and pushed up on his chin so his eyes met mine. I traced the crop along his cheek as I hummed happily. 

“So good… You’re leaking too…” I cooed before placing the riding crop into my mouth, biting down on its side. I placed my hands on his shoulders, rubbed the precum and spread it onto his girth, and lowered myself onto him. It was a little dry, but the pain from it felt more like pleasure. He’s so thick and filling… I put down the crop on the floor to then drag my lower lip up his neck as he nuzzled into mine. He always gets so needy… I ran my fingers through his hair on the back of his head as I rolled my hips forward. 

“Mistress…?” He moaned quietly against my shoulder as I continued to roll my hips. His skin against mine… Even with the rope… I traced my hand on his neck and gave a light squeeze. 

“Hm?” I continued to roll my hips a little faster, gripping tightly onto him. 

“Can you take the ropes off? Please mistress?” He pleaded against the skin of my neck before he dragged his lower lip up to my ear. He sounded so pretty when he begged. “I want to make love to you.” He whispered. I squeezed his neck a little tighter and I hung my head back as I let out a moan while continuing to roll my hips. I pulled his hair to pull his head back and press his lips against mine. He kissed me with such need… Such desire… I lowered my hands and started to undo the rope without breaking the kiss and without stopping the rolling of my hips. Once they had become loose, he desperately started to try to help me undo them. I broke the kiss and nosed my way to his ear. 

“Stoooop.” I sang quietly. “You’re getting in the way, my sweet star.” I warned as I continued to undo the ropes and he stopped. He started to kiss along my jaw, to place sweet kisses on my neck and shoulder. The ropes finally all came undone and he immediately started to undo my obi and koshihimo before he placed his hands on my thigh and carried me over to the bed. After he took off his underwear, he lowered me down while climbing over me, placing soft kisses as he went and slowly slid himself back into me. One arm went underneath me and around my waist while the other went underneath me to cradle my head. He pulled me into a sweet kiss as he started with gentle, loving thrusts between my legs with his skin on mine. His weight pressing onto me as I laced my fingers into his hair and my other hand on his back. I moaned into the kiss as he sped up his pace slightly. 

He broke the kiss to press his forehead to mine, staring into my eyes as he continued to thrust into me. I wrapped my legs around his hips and pushed him into me and bottom out while pulling his face into my neck. He stopped for a moment as we both relished in the embrace, feeling his soft lips against my skin, his filling girth, his weight on me like a shield to protect me from the cruelties of the world… He started up his pace again as he placed sweet kisses onto my neck and I moaned out his name. His pace quickened and I melted at his continued touch, the feeling of him all over me, I found myself babbling in his ear about how much I wanted him. How much I wanted him in me, how I loved his touch, how I wanted him to hold me tighter, how I loved his skin against mine… His pace quickened again and I moaned out his name as he moaned out mine. I could feel the heat building up as our foreheads pressed together again. His brows furrowed as he grunted against my lips. I clutched tightly onto his back as his pace grew frantic and erratic. I could feel myself getting close as he buried his face into the pillow with his pants and hot breath blowing into my ear. I started to jerk in pleasure and I thrust him into me with my legs wrapped around his hips again, pushing him into me, causing him to bottom out. The suddenness of it caused him to reach his ecstasy with me as he fully collapsed onto me. 

He rolled off of me onto his side, so I rolled over onto my side with him. I intertwined my legs with his and put my arm around him as I rested my head onto the other. He mimicked my positioning before bringing his hand up to my face and pulling me in for a sweet, quick kiss. “Was I worthy?” He questioned with somber eyes. I pulled his lower body flush against mine, keeping the only distance between us at our face so I could properly read him. 

“Yes…” I raised my hand to cup his face as I thumbed his cheek. “Of course you are… You’re the one who’s been too good to me.” He huffed into a smile before holding onto my wrist so he could place a kiss onto the inside of my palm. 

“Kessho, this is nothing.” He reassured, but surely he can’t be serious…

“Kakashi you’ve been taking care of me, the twins, and maintaining a job that has insane hours…” I tried to get him to see reason as I gripped tightly onto the nape of his neck as his hand moved to my waist. 

“Of course I did… After all you did for me while you were pregnant?”

“So you acknowledge that being watched 24/7 was excessive and a little insane?” I interjected while he let out a chuckle.

“It worked, didn’t it?” He teased while booping my nose. 

“Oh no you don’t!” I warned while narrowing my eyes as he chuckled again. 

“You were also really supportive of me becoming hokage, even if it meant seeing less of me, and the way you would make time and visit me… Bring me lunch… Even when you had your own things to do, keeping you busy…” He brushed my hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead. “It meant the world to me… How you always made sure there was food waiting for me… How you’d heat it up for me, even after I had woken you up by accident-”

“It was never an accident.” I shook my head while chuckling. “I slept lightly on purpose… I wanted to see you when you got home.” I explained with a smile. He traced my bottom lip with his thumb before pulling me into another sweet and gentle kiss. 

“That… That’s why I’ll take care of you as long as you need.” This man… “But Kessho… Maybe we shouldn’t have anymore…” 

“Don’t say that…” I whispered after shaking my head. 

“Kessho… This has all been so hard on you.” He told me with his hand on my face with his thumb smoothing my cheek. 

“You want a big family.” I remarked as he wiped a tear from my cheek. 

“Not at the cost of you.” He placed a kiss onto my forehead and lingered for a bit. 

“We don’t know that it will. Yes it was hard, but that’s because we were just figuring things out the first time…” I reasoned, but he let out a sigh. “You get like this too…” I whispered as I traced his bottom lip.

“And don’t you wish you could prevent me from feeling like that?” His eyes were tracing along my face as he spoke, like he was taking in every pore on my skin.

“Well, of course, but… We don’t know I’ll feel like this next time either... Do you not want any more kids with  _ me _ ?“ I asked the question as a knot formed in my stomach and I wasn’t sure I could tolerate the answer if it was no… He clutched onto me with his hand on the back of my head and he pulled me in to bury my face into his neck. 

“That’s not it at all… I just don’t want to see you in pain.” He whispered with sadness laced in his tone. “Let’s revisit this some other time… Ok?” He offered while continuing to brush my hair back and I nodded. He pulled away so that we could see each other again and cupped my face with both his hands. “Asuma breastfed again?” He asked with a slight smile. I smiled wide as I nodded happily. “Did you try with Obito?” 

“No I took your advice from earlier, I took the win and just gave him some fresh milk from ye old pump.” I told him while he let out a chuckle. 

“You know you’re more than just milk to them, hopefully you saw that today…” He spoke dreamily. 

“I did, but I think it’s going to take some time to sink in.” I told him as I traced that supple bottom lip of his. “He smiled again when I laughed upstairs.” I hummed happily as a wide grin blossomed on his face. 

“I don’t blame him.” He snickered while one of his hands traced down my curves all the way down to my thigh. “It’s such a sweet laugh.” 

“I thought you didn’t like sweets.” I teased before biting the corner of my lower lip.

“You’re the only sweet I’ll let touch these lips.” He murmured before leaning into a kiss which I smiled against. 

“So cheesy.” I mumbled against his lips. 

“You love it.” He whispered with his lips brushing up against mine. 

“I do…” I hummed. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” He replied before I breathed him into a kiss with my hand gripping onto the nape of his neck as he gripped onto my thigh, with his fingers digging in. When we parted, I could feel his girth hardened against me again. “Turn around.” He ordered with that low seductive voice of his. I rolled onto my other side away from him so he could spoon me. One arm snaked around underneath me at my waist as the other wrapped around my upper chest. “I want to try something…” He whispered into my ear. 

“Ooookayy…” I waited for him and he adjusted my legs so I was more in a fetal position and he slowly inserted himself into me and stopped. I moaned a little as he inserted himself and squeezed my walls down onto him as I gripped onto his hand at my chest. “Is that it?” I wondered as he stopped there.

“Mhmmm…” He hummed as he interlocked his fingers with mine. “Just want to lay with you in a way that’s a little more intimate.” He explained as he placed a few kisses on my neck. I squeezed my walls down on him again and a small, quiet moan left his lips. “Just relax… Lay here with me.” He cooed. I closed my eyes and snuggled into him as he brushed my hair back with his fingers. Soon enough sleep took me with that feeling of security in his arms. 


	24. Don't be so cocky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:  
> “Kakashi said to come get you to feed the kids.” Uhei spoke and I slowly gathered the sheets into my fist until they crept over to reveal my face. I stared a Uhei and tried to get myself to sit up, but everything felt so heavy…? No, that’s not right… It just felt like it took so much will to make myself move… Will I didn’t have right now. Maybe if I roll over off the bed, it’ll force some will into me to get up. Can I muster that? Uhei was sitting, waiting patiently for me. I guess I’ll try… 
> 
> I slowly rolled myself off the bed and onto the floor, dragging the sheets along with me. Uhei tilted his head before shaking it while staring at me as I laid on my side. I laid on the floor for a few minutes before finally, slowly propping myself up and pulling the sheets off of me. Dreading it… What kind of mother dreads to spend time with her children? The worst part was, I was mostly dreading how I was scared to face Obito.

“Hey boss, the kids are crying and they smell.” Pakkun informed. I rolled my hips back into him as I squeezed my walls around his length. He groaned into my ear before nipping at my neck and groping onto one of my breasts. I gripped onto his girth as tightly as I could as he moaned out my name. 

“Later.” He whispered breathily. “I’ll go take care of this, you go back to sleep.” I nodded as he slowly slid out of me while whispering curses into my ear. “The things you do to me woman!” He joked while slightly annoyed as he got up off of the bed and I chuckled. I slid out a leg from underneath the sheet and wrapped the sheet under my arms. Boy was it starting to get hot with summer slowly creeping in. 

Next thing I remember is a hand trailing up my exposed thigh as the bed dipped. My eyes slowly opened to see Kakashi crawling into bed behind me. He went under the covers and traced his hand from my ankle to my thigh which he hiked over his leg as he slid into me again while placing sweet kisses up my neck. I moaned softly as his chest rumbled against my back. “I think we should always sleep like this.” He spoke in a deep dreamy tone with his lips brushing against my outer shell. His arm wrapped around my waist and I laced his fingers with mine, brought his hand up to my chest, and clutched it tightly. 

“I think I’d be ok with that.” I smiled while biting my bottom lip as I squeezed my walls down against his girth. He nibbled on my ear as he groaned, to then let go and whisper my name as he snaked his other arm underneath my waist. I rolled my hips back into him as his hand at my waist snaked its way down between my legs. I clenched down and rolled my hips against him; his finger found its way between my folds to make its way to my clit and gently rub it in circles. I arched my back and mewled as I thrust my head back to be next to his. His hand stopped interlocking with mine and rested up against the bottom of my neck as he started a slow, intimate, gentle pace of him thrusting in and out of me as I clamped down my walls around him. He groaned out curses as we both relished in the pleasure. “Kakashiii…” I moaned out as I reached one of my arms under his and gripped at his shoulder while my other hand rested on his on my neck. 

I felt his brows, furrowed, as his forehead pressed against the back of my neck and his pace with his finger on my bundle of nerves quickened. His hot breath brushed against me as I rolled my hips back into his, matching his rhythm as he went along. Our hands moved up my neck slowly and his fingers slowly crept into my mouth while his grunts filled my ears. His hand partly in my mouth, gripped at my jaw, almost like he was using it for leverage as his pace quickened. I tightened my walls around him again so I could hear him call out my name. Oh how I loved when he called out my name with such ecstasy from those sweet lips of his. Those very lips started placing kisses along my neck before he desperately started to nip at my shoulder as we both started to grow close. I whimpered out his name between pleas and his pace grew hard as it quickened. Drool slid from my mouth from his fingers still gripping at my jaw as I started to creep towards the edge. He whispered out my name as I reached my ecstasy and he gripped tightly onto me as my body jerked against him. After giving a few more rough and hard thrusts while still gripping tightly onto me, I could feel him release hot ropes into me. 

Our breathing slowed and his grip loosened, but he didn’t pull out. He stayed in me as he placed soft kisses on my neck while whispering ‘I love yous’ in between. He stayed in me even as I felt his liquid ooze out onto my thigh… But I couldn’t bring myself to care as his hand clung to mine again and his hand receded from my folds to rest clinging at my waist. I felt safe, secure… Human… and tired…

* * *

“Hey boss, they’re crying again. I think they might be hungry.” Guruko called out while trying to wake us up by pawing at the mattress. I rolled my hips and arched my back while stretching. He was still in me and clinging tightly and what a way to wake up… He gripped onto me tighter, pulling my body to press to his while humming happily in my ear. His lower lip trailed up my neck and he moaned into my ear as he thrust in and out of me so. Very. Slowly. 

“Fuuuuuuck…” I groaned with my head back as his hand went to my thigh to hike it over his. “I have to go feed them.” I warned while he nibbled at my ear and continued with a steady rhythm. 

“They can wait a few minutes.” He murmured into my ear as his hand slid down to place a finger into my folds and he started rubbing circles on my clit that was still somewhat sensitive.

“You usually take longer than a few.” I teased while I reached back and placed my hand onto his cheek before moaning out his name. 

“I thought you said you had to go.” He teased back before giving me a hard thrust and slamming into me. I cried out in pleasure before reaching and pulling on his hair. He started to nip at my shoulders while picking up his pace with his finger as his other hand reached my neck and squeezed lightly. “You need to hush…” He hissed before squeezing my neck tightly as I clamped my walls on him. “Or am I going to need to hush you?” He growled with his tone dropping a few notes as he picked up to a dizzying pace. I let out a loud, raspy moan, calling out his name and he squeezed my neck tighter as I clung to the hair I was pulling and my other hand gripped at his forearm. 

The heat built within me quickly and I soon found myself going over the edge. His hand between my folds quickly receded to grip onto my thigh to continue to pound into me. My walls twitched while closing down around his stretching girth as his pace grew erratic. He bit down on me as his grip on my neck tightened further, making my high prolong as he came to his own. His hips gave a final few thrusts before pulling out. 

I sat up on the edge of the bed for a moment in a happy, dizzy, lightheaded daze. I felt him creep up behind me placing his arms on my biceps and his lips on my shoulder while humming happily. “You look thoroughly fucked.” 

“I feel thoroughly fucked.” I hummed as I slowly got up and reached for the yukata I wore yesterday. It was on the floor, and as I bent over, I could feel his eyes on me. I turned around to watch him as I lazily slid it on. He was laying on his side with his head in his palm, propped up with his elbow, watching me closely. I tied the koshihimo in the front and pulled it so it was a little shorter than normal and sagged in the chest area so it was easier to pull my breasts out once I got upstairs. 

“You look like you’re ready for another round…” He hummed happily as I turned around to walk out the door. 

“We’ll see.” I chuckled before heading out of the room. I walked to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of breast milk and brought it upstairs. They were still wailing by the time I got up to their room. When I walked over to the crib, I grabbed a hold of Obito first and gave him the bottle from the fridge. He took the bottle quickly and calmed down as I reached with my pinky and wiped away the stray tears. I smiled down at him despite Asuma’s continued crying and booped that cute little birthmark. My smile faded and I found myself wondering… “Do you want to breastfeed Obito?” I questioned, but of course there was no answer. He simply closed his eyes as he slowed his feeding. I sighed as I started shifting my weight from side to side. “I really wish you would… Can I tell you a secret?” I cooed before leaning into him. “I’m scared to try to breastfeed you.” I told him before kissing his head. 

“Why?” I heard Kakashi ask suddenly and I jumped from being startled. He snickered before placing a hand on the small of my back. “I didn’t think it was possible to sneak up on you.” He chuckled while I continued shifting my weight. 

“I’m too rusty.” I muttered under my breath while he chuckled and Obito smiled as he stopped feeding. 

“I’ll burp Obito, you feed Asuma.” Kakashi ordered. I leaned into Kakashi’s ear as I handed Obito off. 

“Yes… Lord Sixth.” I purred before turning around to the crib. Asuma was still crying away while I bent over the crib. 

**SMACK!**

Kakashi placed a bruising hand onto my lower right cheek causing me to yelp in surprise. “Really?” I questioned as I looked over my shoulder while still bent over. He shrugged while burping Obito as a sly smile grew on his face. 

“Do you want another?” He questioned as he stopped burping for a moment to lift up my yukata. I swatted his hand away to pick up Asuma into my arms. He chuckled as I sat down on the rocking chair. I pulled out my left breast for Asuma to take as the sun started to creep into the room through the window while dawn broke. Asuma started breastfeeding and I pushed against the floor with my toes to start rocking in the chair as I stared down as Asuma. One of his hands was planted on my breast while the other waved around. I felt a calming sensation and I started humming the only lullaby I knew as I gave Asuma my finger to take. The sun danced on my bare skin and the warmth I felt from it and it felt so… nice. I smiled softly while humming and watching Asuma as he continued to wave my finger around. 

**CLICK!**

I looked up to see Kakashi squatting before me with his camera in hand to then start fiddling with it. “Perfect.” He mumbled. I chuckled and turned back to Asuma who was smiling now and kicking at my other breast which caused me to chuckle even more… Which in turn caused more kicking, and a squeal. 

**CLICK!**

At this point I ignored Kakashi, though I’ll have to remind him to  _ not _ put these photos out for public viewing. Asuma had started to feed again, though he had slowed. I waved around my finger in his grasp. “I love you.” I cooed to him as I clung to his forearm. “Yes I do, I love you Asuma.” 

**CLICK!**

Asuma stopped feeding, so I tucked away my chest lazily behind my yukata. After grabbing onto a spit up rag, I tossed it over my shoulder and started to pat at Asuma’s back. I clung to him tightly as he pushed up against my shoulder while I watched Kakashi watching me through the camera. He lowered it for a moment while he readjusted to sit on the floor. “Are you scared Obito won’t latch?” He questioned out of nowhere as he watched me from behind his hair with his head hung. 

“Yes…” I admitted sheepishly while lowering my head, trying to hide behind my own hair. 

“You just need to relax Kessho…” He spoke with such a deep soothing tone. He placed his camera down and crawled over to me to place his arms on my lap and rest his chin on his arms. “They can smell fear.” He whispered jokingly and we booth chuckled. Asuma cooed happily as I pulled him down, turned him to face Kakashi, and pressed his back to my stomach as I held him. Kakashi smiled his closed eyed smile as he reached out and danced his fingertips on Asuma’s stomach. Kakashi grabbed onto Asuma and got up, so I reached over for the pump. I set everything up and let the machine do its thing as I rested my head back and continued rocking away, closing my eyes with the sun on my face. I felt Kakashi pulling off the pumps as I turned to him. “Sorry, you drifted off.” He murmured as I started to help him. 

“It’s ok.” I told him as I brushed tufts of his hair back and out of his eyes. “What are you going to do with those photos?” I wondered while he put the pump away into a basket in the changing table as I tucked away my chest again. 

“I’ll find a place to keep them nearby without others finding them… You look so… Soft.” He finished with a whisper as he picked up the two bottles and held out a hand for me to take. 

“It’s always that I look soft.” I muttered under my breath as I took his hand and got up off of the rocking chair. “Is that the only way you like me?” I sneered and he quickly took his hand back. Fuck… I didn’t mean to come off so harshly… He picked the camera off of the floor while I took a deep breath. It’s not even him I’m really mad about… I quietly rushed back to the bedroom and slid under the covers. Right now… I just want to hide from the world… And these thoughts and feelings… 

“Kessho… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you when I said that.” He stammered once he came into the room. I could hear the worry and sadness in his voice. He must feel like he’s walking on eggshells around me. Fuck. Another thing to feel guilty about… I groaned as I tightened my hold on the covers and drifted in the fetal position. I felt the bed dip and the sheet ruffle behind me. “Kessho, I love every part about you… Even the ones I don’t know yet. You’re so complex…” He drifted off as I felt his fingertips on my back, only for a moment. It was like he was afraid to touch me as if it would upset me. 

“Hold me.” I whispered, and that’s all it took for his strong arms to wrap around me and pull me into him. 

“You’re rough around the edges… Even prickly sometimes…” I felt him smile against my neck. “But you have these moments… They’re so precious where you’re just so soft.” He brushed my hair back before his fingers traced along my skin. “But too much soft isn’t good either.”

“You read the same book over and over again, wouldn’t you want something easier? Softer? Less  _ prickly _ ?” I mumbled as I curled in on myself more. 

“You mean the books where one of them you helped inspire?” He teased before placing kisses on my neck. “Kessho, honestly… I didn’t know what I wanted. I just knew that when I found you, I found it.” He traced his fingers down my spine slowly, feeling each bump along it. “You’ve lived a thousand lives, and you keep me on my toes.” He mumbled against my skin as his hand now clutched at my waist as he pulled me in again. “I’ll admit, sometimes I think about how much easier it would be if you weren’t a shinobi… But it wouldn’t be nearly as entertaining.” He placed a kiss along my shoulder. “Or as passionate.” He placed one onto my neck. “Or as enthralling.” He placed one along my jaw. “Or…” He grabbed onto my chin and pulled my face to him. “As loving.” He whispered before placing a kiss onto my lips. He pulled away and his hand retreated to my waist. “You should try to sleep more, but I need to start getting some work done. Shikamaru will be here soon.” He cooed into my ear. 

“I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep…” I mumbled before sighing. 

“What’s the matter?” He rubbed his hips against my behind and I could feel his clothed, hardened, girth. “Need my dick in you to fall asleep now?” He teased and I smirked. 

“Don’t be so cocky.” I warned. 

“Ha. Ha.” He chuckled sarcastically before genuinely chuckling some. “Try not to stay in bed all day… Please.” He spoke in a soothing gentle tone before placing a kiss onto my cheek. I just nodded and selfishly wished he didn’t have to leave. He snuck out from under the covers and off of the bed… Then out of the room after a few moments (probably getting dressed) and closed the door behind him. Now I’m alone with my thoughts… The ones that I’ve been trying to avoid, only now they’ll consume me. I wasn’t mad at Kakashi earlier… No… I was mad at myself.

Mad that I’ve told Asuma I loved him, but not Obito. Mad that I felt closer to Asuma than I did Obito… Mad at myself for feeling that way. What kind of mother does that? Loves one son more than the other? It’s so wrong… I tried today… I really did, but I just felt so distant to Obito in comparison to Asuma. I… I don’t know how to make that connection… I’m scared of what Kakashi is going to think… 

Maybe he’ll see me for the monster that I am… 

“Kakashi said to come get you to feed the kids.” Uhei spoke and I slowly gathered the sheets into my fist until they crept over to reveal my face. I stared a Uhei and tried to get myself to sit up, but everything felt so heavy…? No, that’s not right… It just felt like it took so much will to make myself move… Will I didn’t have right now. Maybe if I roll over off the bed, it’ll force some will into me to get up. Can I muster that? Uhei was sitting, waiting patiently for me. I guess I’ll try… 

I slowly rolled myself off the bed and onto the floor, dragging the sheets along with me. Uhei tilted his head before shaking it while staring at me as I laid on my side. I laid on the floor for a few minutes before finally, slowly propping myself up and pulling the sheets off of me. Dreading it… What kind of mother dreads to spend time with her children? The worst part was, I was mostly dreading how I was scared to face Obito. Kakashi thinks they can smell fear… I knew he meant it as a joke, but they can clearly sense emotions… What if Obito can sense me and how I feel about him? What if he somehow knows how I feel more connected to Asuma? Would he even be able to understand such a thing…? Probably not… And yet… I was still terrified. I slowly stood up and headed to the door. Tenzo was about to head upstairs with a couple bottles in his hand, but he had frozen at the sight of me. I bent over with my head upside down with my hair reaching the floor to gather it all and place a bun on the top of my head. Tenzo’s wide eyes certainly let me know I looked a mess, but at least that’s something I can do. 

I straightened and grabbed one of the bottles from Tenzo’s hands before slowly heading upstairs. When I got up stairs, I lingered in the doorway of their bedroom. They were crying so loudly… I clinged onto the doorframe, staring past the crib. The way the sun was entering the room it was late morning. I wonder how long they’re usually kept in the crib… I hope Kakashi has been spending time with them… Giving them tummy time… I could do that. If I was ok, but right now I know I’m not. I’m not there yet. But I can feed them. I slowly walked over to the crib and held onto the edge as I stared at both Obito and Asuma… Obito certainly can scream now… He’s growing… He’s not quite the chunky boy like Asuma, but he’s not falling behind in putting on weight, thankfully… I bent over and clutched onto Obito, cradling him in my arm. Slowly I made my way to the rocking chair and sat while bottle feeding Obito as Asuma continued to cry. 

“Well Obito? Can you sense it? Is that why you won’t latch…?” I pondered aloud as I watched him feed while his hands kept going between the open air and the bottle. “Tell me what to do Obito… How do I connect with you?” I whispered while pushing on the floor with my toes to keep the rocking motion. I stared through him until the bottle was done. From there I felt like it was autopilot. Not really looking at anything, just going through the motions as I burped him and placed him back into the crib. It wasn’t until I picked up Asuma that I came back to it. I cradled Asuma in my arms and sat back into the rocking chair. 

It went much like this morning… Lots of cooing, giggling, smiling. I felt calm… Like I did when Kakashi wrapped his arms around me and held me close to him. When Asuma was done, I lifted him high over my head in a playful manner before burping him. Once I was done, I put Asuma in the crib, and set up the pump again. After pumping I walked back over to the crib to watch them for a moment. They really should be having tummy time… Oops… Almost forgot to put my breasts away. I readjusted the yukata lazily as I stared at them in the crib. I felt Kiki suddenly clawing at the back of my calves… Ok. Well… I guess she should meet them. I walked over to the dresser and pulled out the sling and a blanket. I tossed the blanket over my shoulder and I put on the sling to then grab onto Asuma and placed him in the sling. Once I was sure he was secure, I grabbed onto Obito and headed down stairs with the bottle of breast milk in hand. After putting the milk in the fridge, I laid out the blanket on the floor by the living room and the window that looks out to the cherry blossom tree. After placing Obito down onto his bare stomach, I pulled Asuma out of the sling and put him beside Obito. I pulled the sling off and laid it aside as I rested on my side beside them with my arm propping up my head. 

I traced my fingers along their backs as I watched them lifting their heads, trying to prop themselves up as they wiggled around. Kiki came by and sniffed each of them, so I introduced her to them. Kiki circled around a couple times before laying down and curling up beside Asuma who was furthest from me. Next was Tenzo stopping by and sitting cross legged in front of them. 

“How are you feeling today?” He questioned me, but all I could bring myself to do was lay my head down on my arm. Watching these two had those thoughts from earlier creeping back into my head again. I saw Tenzo nod to himself in my periphery as I continued to stare at these two babies. After a while they started to get fussy. 

“Can you take them up?” I asked Tenzo somewhat mindlessly. 

“Sure thing.” He answered as he reached behind me for the sling. He put it on and placed Obito in before grabbing onto Asuma. Afterwards he got up and went upstairs. 


	25. Or his touch...?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:   
> “Why are you even taking me home? Why even bother with me?” I started crying out and finished with a whimper. 
> 
> “Because I promised you I would.” He replied plainly.
> 
> “I relieve you of your promise.” I retorted before taking the last drag to flick the cigarette butt to a passing trash can while closing one eye, willing myself to focus so I wouldn’t miss. 
> 
> “That’s not how that works.” He warned with annoyance again. I went limp. I’m nothing more than obligations to him now… 
> 
> “I don’t want to be a burden.”

“Kessho.” Kakashi called out as he crouched before me while I came back to it. I was still on the blanket from earlier in the living room. He was holding out his hand for me to take, so I propped myself up and he helped me up off of the blanket. “Dinner’s ready.” Dinner… I don’t remember eating yet today. I walked over to the dining table with Kakashi, and sat at the table. He made me gyoza. Easy to eat, exactly what I needed right now. 

“Thank you.” I whispered and he placed a kiss on the top of my head before squishing me over to sit next to me… Despite this table normally allowing space for one person here. But his presence… It brought me comfort. I could just let go… I was literally on the ground and he reached out to help me up. I rested my head onto his shoulder as I reached out to start eating. 

“You need to do tummy time.” I mumbled between bites. 

“I have been. I do occasionally read things other than Icha Icha.” He joked and I smiled. 

“Good.” I whispered as I continued eating in silence. After I was finished I got up and placed the plate into the sink before walking back to the bedroom. I took off the yukata and slid under the covers again. I felt the bed dip to then have Kakashi put his strong arms around me. 

“What else is bothering you?” He spoke softly with his hot breath brushing against my neck. I shook my head, terrified to tell him the thoughts that were running through my head. “Kessho please… You need help, and I won’t know how to help you unless I know what’s going on…”

“I’m ashamed…” I whispered as I cradled myself, clinging tightly onto my knees. “I don’t want these thoughts…” 

“Kessho please… You’re worrying me now. Whatever it is, we’ll work through this… Like we always do.” He molded his body to mine, still trying to cling to me. If I don’t tell him… It will just create a rut between us… I know it. Still, I’m so scared to tell him. I grabbed onto one of his hands and brought it up to my chest. Tears were streaming down my face and knots formed in my stomach as I hesitated. Eventually I brought myself to show him all those thoughts I felt guilty about. The ones where I felt that I had more of a connection with Asuma than I did with Obito. How I told Asuma I loved him and how I haven’t told Obito. 

“Ok…” He whispered. But the lack of words… The lack of emotion… It only frightened me more. He only hides his emotions around me when he doesn’t want me to know what he’s feeling. 

“I… I need to…” I trailed off as I sat up on the edge of the bed. I slowly got up and went to the dresser to pull out some running shorts that were tight and covered most of my thighs and ran up to my waist as well as a sports bra which I quickly put on. I switched from having my hair in a bun, to putting it into a ponytail. 

“Kessho?” He questioned with a little concern leaking into his voice, but I couldn’t turn to face him. 

“‘m goin’ run…” I managed to mumble while stuffing some money in my bra and going into the closet to get a packet of senbon before leaving the room. I walked over to the entrance and slipped on my climbing shoes and ran out the door. 

It wasn’t until I reached the usual convenience store I stopped at by the cemetery that I noticed where I was. I walked in and bought a bottle of sake, a packet of cigarettes, and a lighter. Once I walked out of the store I opened the packet, pulled one out, and placed it between my lips. I kept trying to light it but the damn summer breeze that was kicking in… “Fucking breeze.” I muttered while trying to get the flame to stay lit. I really should learn fire style for this at least…

I heard the sound of a metal lighter opening behind me, so I turned around to see Shikamaru. Just as I was about to lean in to light the cigarette, he closed the lighter. “Wait, should you even be smoking?” He questioned with a brow raised. “Or drinking?” He questioned again while leaning in. 

“Shut up and light it.” I demanded coldly and he flinched. He opened the lighter and I leaned forward. Once mine was lit, I took a long, deep drag and held it while giving him a cigarette. I finally exhaled and started walking towards the cemetery. Finally I made my way to Asuma’s grave and sat down in front of it. I took the last drag of the cigarette and put it out in the ashtray that was still there. I opened the bottle and took a few gulps straight from it. Nope… Still don’t feel like talking. Time to take a few more gulps. I placed the bottle between my legs and took out another cigarette and placed it between my lips to light. From there I alternated between taking swigs and taking drags until all that was left of the cigarette was the filter. My cheeks felt warm, and I finally felt ready to open up some. “If you couldn’t tell I gave birth!” I chuckled to myself while looking at my flat stomach. 

“I really need you right now Asuma… I’m at one of those moments where I don’t know how to be human. I’m going to the dark place… I’m really trying not to, but I just feel like such a failure Asuma. I don’t know what else to do…” I trailed off before taking another swig. “One of the twins, their name is Asuma. Kakashi suggested it. Hope you don’t mind, or think it’s weird. Lady Tsunade called us morbid.” I giggled before taking a big gulp of sake. “Also I’m sorry this isn’t three bottles, but it's been months since I drank anything, so I need to train myself a little.” I babbled. “I just… I need you Asuma…” My free hand started tracing along his name on the indented stone. “I don’t know how to connect with Obito. When I admitted it to Kakashi, all he said was ‘Ok’ and I’m scared. I’m a monster Asuma… What kind of mother only loves one of their children?!” I started sobbing and I took another swig of sake before wiping away the tears and calming down. “I guess…” I felt myself grow very still. “I guess he finally realized the monster he married…” I found myself staring through the headstone as I took the next swig. Slowly I readjust to have my knees bent and my arms wrapped around them as one of my hands still clung to the bottle. “I feel like a husk. Yesterday was good… But today… I just mostly felt like a husk. An empty shell.” I told him before taking another swig. I sat there in silence for a while until I finished the bottle. “I’ll see you later…” I got up carefully with the empty sake bottle in one hand and the lighter and packet of cigarettes in the other. I placed the bottle under my armpit as I pulled out another cigarette before placing the packet between my breasts and I placed the cigarette between my lips. I stumbled while making my way out of the cemetery and I attempted to light the cigarette, but the fucking breeze. I finally managed to get a flame going and I finally lit it and took a long drag. I held the empty bottle in the air in celebration to lose my footing and tumble down the stairs. When I sat up, I checked to see the sake bottle was still intact, and the cigarette was still lit. I took another long drag as I planted one of my palms behind me and sat at the edge of those steps for a moment. 

“I think that’s enough for now, don’t you?” Kakashi questioned with annoyance in his tone as he grabbed my arm, but I snatched it back. Instead he opted to pick me up and throw me over his shoulder. 

“Don’t you dare go thinking that I can’t break out of this!” I warned as I threw the empty bottle of sake in a trash can that we passed. 

“Please don’t.” He answered, exasperated. 

“Why are you even taking me home? Why even bother with me?” I started crying out and finished with a whimper. 

“Because I promised you I would.” He replied plainly.

“I relieve you of your promise.” I retorted before taking the last drag to flick the cigarette butt to a passing trash can while closing one eye, willing myself to focus so I wouldn’t miss. 

“That’s not how that works.” He warned with annoyance again. I went limp. I’m nothing more than obligations to him now… 

“I don’t want to be a burden.” I responded and he put me down to hold me up by cupping my face. 

“Kessho… No…” He murmured while shaking his head to pull me into an embrace with his arms around me. I was taken aback by it so my arms were at my sides as his head rested on top of mine. “I’m sorry.” He whispered before placing a kiss on top of my head.  _ He’s  _ sorry?

“Ffffor what?” I questioned with my brows furrowing. 

“For not being able to make you feel human.” He held me tighter and pressed my head tightly into his chest, almost like he was trying to keep me from falling to pieces. 

“But you do.” I whined. “You’re the only thing that does.” I admitted before burying my face into his warm chest as I clung to the shirt he was wearing and I took in that smell of his… Always smelling clean with a faint hint of hinoki. 

“You’re not a monster.” He whispered before placing another kiss on the top of my head. I took in a small gasp. 

“You were listening…” I groaned with a slur. 

“I’m sorry, I’m just… I’m lost Kessho.” He admitted with a sigh. “I don’t know how to make you feel ok again.” I shook my head against his chest. Even with this drunken haze I knew that wasn’t right, or fair to him. 

“You’re not… It’s not your…” How do I best put this? “Only I can.” I felt him swoop me up into his arms this time. Ughhh… I’m being a giant baby… I flung my arm out and watched the ground move beneath me as he walked. 

“Then what do I do?” He spoke quietly, but with haste. I hummed while I thought about it. I just need him to keep picking me up… 

“Hold me…” I shrugged before looking up at him. He clung to me a little tighter. “Keep picking me up.” I whined with a slur before clinging to his shirt again. “Put your cock in me.” I mumbled as I nuzzled my face into him and closed my eyes.

“Kessho!” He whisper shouted from behind gritted teeth and I blinked myself awake to see him with tight lips and a very angry look on his face. I clutched tightly onto his shirt and started to feel tears well up. 

“What?” I whined as I felt my lip quiver. I feel so needy right now… He moved his head up to point to the people around us passing by. So? It’s not like he hasn’t carried me home before… “I’m sorry…” I whimpered. 

“Look, I’m more than happy to do those things for you Kessho, you know that… But please…” He sighed. “Don’t… Don’t start talking about our intimate life right now.” He pleaded. 

“Oh! The cock!” I realized what he meant and quickly covered my own mouth with my hand as he angrily tried to contain mutters while his body tensed. “Sorry…” I lowered my hand briefly to utter the word. He sighed again and I felt his muscles relax while I snickered to myself. I placed my hand onto his cheek and smoothed it with my thumb. “I told you I’m not gonna do that no more.” I slurred before letting out a burp. “Sorry.” I covered my mouth again and I could feel my cheeks turning pink, but it just made him laugh. 

He put me down on the ground and I noticed we were on the porch of our home. He opened the front door and clung to my arm as he helped me stumble in. He led me into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He took the packet of cigarettes and put them on the counter by the sink. “Up.” He ordered as he clung to the hem of my sports bra, so I lifted my arms. He continued to undress me before he walked behind me to turn on the shower. He helped me into the tub and I felt the warm water drops fall onto my face. I walked closer to the shower head as I looked up and closed my eyes, trying to pretend I was standing in the warm summer rain. I felt him take off my ponytail before I heard the clicking of some bottles. He ran his fingers into my hair and pulled me out of the shower head and into him so he could start massaging the shampoo into my scalp. I rested my head onto his chest as I backed my body into his but he shifted me forward, trying to create some space. I whined… I just want to feel more of his touch.

His hands left my head and he grabbed onto a cloth and started to bathe me. He was so gentle with the cloth on my skin, and I kept feeling myself melt against his touch. When he got to my breasts, I flinched back in pain. They were engorged at this point… I turned around and started fumbling, trying to get myself to express milk so they weren’t so sensitive to the touch. “What are you trying to do?” He asked quietly. 

“It hurts.” I whined while fiddling with my breasts. He came up from behind me and peered over me to see what I was doing.

“Let me.” He whispered into my ear as he cupped my breast in one of his hands while he made that c shape with his other. I leaned into him and revelled at his touch. A moan escaped my lips and he stopped, so I let out a whimper. “Kessho…” He backed away. “You’re drunk. I can’t…” I turned to face him and I watched as he shook his head. What do I want more… This drunken haze that’s hiding my thoughts from me? Or his touch…? I closed my eyes and started to concentrate on pushing out the drunken haze from my mind with my chakra. Ugh I was more drunk than I thought… That used up quite a bit of chakra. 

“I’m fine now.” I told him as I opened my eyes and straightened up. “My mind is clear.” I told him as I grabbed the conditioner to get a hefty helping. I rubbed my hair between my hands that contained the conditioner, from the nape of my neck, all the way down to the tips. When I finished, I looked up at him through my lashes. “Can… Can you do the other breast?” I questioned sheepishly. He placed his hands on my biceps and turned me around to help relieve some of the pain. His touch against my skin… He was placing soft kisses on my neck and shoulder. Those kisses traced back up my neck and onto my jaw and my hips bucked back against him as I moaned. He whipped me around, placed his hand onto the small of my back and brought me into him to pull me into a passionate kiss with his other hand placed on my cheek. The hand slowly crept into my hair as he squeezed me against him even further. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I stood on my tippy toes, trying to deepen this kiss. 

“Kessho…” He whispered, his lips brushing against mine as he pulled away. “Not tonight… Let me just hold you tonight.” He offered as I leaned into his touch and closed my eyes. I whined a little but placed my arms around his waist and nodded against his chest. He crept us towards the shower head and started rinsing my hair through his fingers as I rested my head on his chest while clinging to him. I started tracing my fingers along bumps of the scars left behind until he turned off the water. He got out of the shower and I started to twist my hair and squeeze out the excess water from it. I reached out for a towel, and rubbed the hair between the towel to where it was just damp. Finally I flipped it over to gather it all into a bun at the top of my head. I pulled back at the curtain to see Kakashi with some underwear and the shirt he was wearing from earlier. “Tenzo’s asleep.” He whispered as he handed me the shirt after I had put on the underwear. Once I slipped it on, we crept back to our bedroom. 

After I got onto bed I slipped off the shirt, just wanting to feel more of my skin pressed against his. He rested onto his back and I curled up next to him with my head resting on his chest. I traced my fingertips along his marred skin that mirrored mine, occasionally pressing kisses on scars nearby that I could reach. His finger trips traced along the indent of my waist, like a skater on a half-pipe. I raised and rested my leg with my thigh aligned with his hips and his free hand went down to cling to my thigh. “Sleep Kessho…” He whispered, but I wasn’t tired. Not yet at least. 


	26. Afraid to hold hands now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:  
> “They’re going to know.” I warned as I peered up at him while crossing my legs. They being the shinobi in the Anbu of course. If they didn’t, then I have a lot more work to do as Anbu commander than I previously thought. Kakashi shook his head as the server placed our beers in front of us. 
> 
> “They won’t Kessho.” He insisted. “They understood and agreed to keep these things private. There was no need to tell anyone else.”
> 
> “I found out and I wasn’t even trying. Word gets around Kakashi, they’re going to know.” I muttered before chugging half of the mug of beer with my hand lingering and gripping tightly onto the handle. 
> 
> “I’m sorry…” He whispered again as he placed his hand hesitantly onto my wrist. “I-I didn’t know what else to do…” He stammered and I finally took a good look at him. He looked heartbroken with defeat in his eyes. It wasn’t his fault really… He was just doing the best he could… My grip loosened on handle of the mug and his squeezed tightly at my wrist. “What can I do?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've added a companion chapter that plays out the strip poker scenario. To see it, go here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27733615/chapters/73008489

“Hey stranger.” I heard a familiar voice and slowly moved the sheets to reveal Kurenai standing in the doorway while clinging onto Mirai. I half smiled at her as I sat up in bed. “How have you been?” That was such a loaded question… 

“Some good days… Some bad…” That’s how it had been since Kakashi first asked me to try to be more present. I think that was about a week ago. Some days were like that day… I was mostly there, not really going to dark places. Other days I mostly stayed in bed or moped about until he pulled me out of it. I could tell he appreciated my attempts, but he still looked at me with this look of pity… Pity over how broken I was… How broken I felt. Kurenai sat on the edge of the bed as she cradled Mirai. “Kakashi’s been good to me.” I smiled at her before looking down to fiddle with my wedding ring. 

“Good… I’m glad. How are Obito and Asuma?” Kurenai questioned. 

“Asuma latched!” I exclaimed with a big smile as I turned to see Kurenai smiling back at me. 

“That’s great Kessho! And Obito?” She asked and my smile faded. I shook my head and Mirai started to get fussy, pushing against Kurenai and tugging on her hair. “Sometimes…” She started as slid one of her breasts from out of her red yukata with white lotus flower prints. “It’s just a matter of getting the right positioning.” She explained as she rested Mirai on her back by Kurenai’s side and bent over onto Mirai who then started to breastfeed. I had never seen that position before. “Mirai had stopped for some reason and out of nowhere she would only feed in this position. Sometimes…” She sighed as she smoothed back the tufts of hair on Mirai’s head. “They can be a real pain.” She peeked up at me with a deadpan, tired look on her face and I couldn’t help but laugh. 

“If… If I get Obito… Will you show me?” I asked quietly while biting my lip and twisting the ring on my finger. 

“Of course.” 

“And if he doesn’t… Will you stay with me a while…?” I questioned as a lump started to form in my throat. She placed a hand onto my ankle and raised my gaze to meet hers. 

“Of course Kessho…” She hummed with a reassuring smile. I nodded and went upstairs and into their room to go get Obito… Only Asuma was the only one in the crib. I walked over to Kakashi’s office and the door was open. When I walked in, I saw Kakashi dozed off on the chair with Obito asleep on his bare chest. I quietly walked up to the bookcase and reached for Kakashi’s camera. I turned it on, fiddled with it to get it ready, and snapped a quick picture. Kakashi jolted awake and I giggled as he clung to Obito. 

“What are you?” He muttered while rubbing his eye. 

“You just looked so cute, asleep there with Obito…” I explained as I turned off the camera and put it back on the bookshelf. 

“Fuck. Kessho, can you take him, I’m late for a video call.” He told me as I walked over and quickly grabbed onto Obito. He lowered his skin tight shirt, and fiddled with the monitors. I rushed over and fixed his hair a little before he pushed me out of the frame… Which was wise considering I wasn’t wearing pants… 

“Nice of you to finally join us Lord Hokage.” The Tsuchikage sneered. 

“I’m sorry… I haven’t been getting much sleep.” I heard him say as I left the office. 

“Don’t you have your wife to help you? I thought you said she was good.” I heard Lord Tsuchikage grumble and I stopped out in the hall to listen as I clung to Obito. 

“It’s… A process… Can we please talk about logistics for the resource trade now?” Kakashi used his stern commanding tone to ensure the subject matter would change, and soon enough Lord Kazekage took over and started discussing logistics about resource trades. I’ll have to confront Kakashi about this later… But this isn’t sitting right with me… I headed downstairs with racing thoughts as I clung tightly to Obito with his head resting on my shoulder. I stopped at the foot of the stairs and stayed there bouncing back and forth. 

“Kessho?” Kurenai called to me and brought me back to it. She was standing in front of me with a concerned look on her face as she clung tightly to Mirai. “Everything ok?” I gave her a fake smile and nodded. “Do you still want to try to feed Obito?” Obito… I loosened my hold so I could see Obito’s face. He was smiling as he looked at me, trying to reach out to the loose hairs from my bun that were framing my face. 

“Yeah… Yes. Please.” I nodded to myself as I returned Obito’s face into my shoulder. Kurenai and I went back into the bedroom and I sat up on the bed. I moved the sheets out of the way, rested Obito on his back at my side, took off my shirt, and bent over until my nipple was in his reach. 

“I think this is even more of you I’ve seen since that time we played strip poker.” Kurenai commented and I laughed thinking back to it. 

“Oh man… I’m surprised you still remember that. Asuma and I had to get you and Kakashi pretty drunk for you guys to agree to it.” I chuckled and Obito started to coo happily while kicking at my breast. “I think that means he’s not going to.” I chuckled as I started to move away but Kurenai put a hand on my shoulder.

“Give him a minute…” She reassured, so I lowered myself again and booped his little birthmark. “I honestly thought for sure that time I’d see Kakashi’s face. I never imagined I’d see his dick before I saw his face.” We both started cracking up hard as I smoothed over Obito’s tufts of hair. 

“Honestly I didn’t think that Kakashi would buy into Asuma’s taunts. He’s usually  **really** reserved about our sex life.” I told her after I calmed down from laughing. 

“Yeah he was pretty far gone… Then again, we all were.” She admitted with a chuckle. 

“Yeah…” I looked towards the door to see Tenzo still wasn’t back from wherever he had gone off to. “Honestly… I don’t think he remembers that night.” I confessed quietly to Kurenai as I watched her. She raised her eyebrow, clearly intrigued. “He never mentioned it again and I’m kind of scared to bring it up. I think if he doesn’t remember and finds out about it… He’ll have a meltdown…” She started snickering. 

“But he stood so proudly with it out!” She giggled. 

“I know! That's why-” I turned my face down to Obito who finally latched on. “Obito…” I clung to his little arm as he started feeding. 

“Seems like what you really needed to do was relax.” Kurenai teased as she smoothed her hand on my shoulder. 

“I’m a little scared to move.” I chuckled as a few tears rolled down my cheeks. After another moment I readjusted to pick him up and cradle him in my arms. I was finally able to wait patiently. If he did it once, he’ll do it again. Soon enough he latched on again and I giggled to myself as I held him closely. “Thank you, Kurenai.” I whispered. 

“Just remember Kessho… Either way you are a good mother.” Kurenai gave me an encouraging smile and I continued to feed Obito. He was kicking away happily and I felt a sense of calm wash over me. I’ve got this… I really can do this. I’m not failing him anymore… I clung to one of his arms with my finger in his hand. 

“I love you Obito.” I cooed to him. I finally felt like we connected… I looked around to see there were no spit-up rags around so I clung to him tightly while he was still feeding, got up, and headed upstairs. When I got upstairs and in the hallway, I saw Shikamaru staring wide-eyed at the other end. I swiftly rushed into the baby room. “Sorry!” I called out before giggling to myself. “Oops.” I told Obito as I chuckled and grabbed onto a spit up rag. I tossed it over my shoulder just in time for Obito to finish feeding and I could hear Asuma starting to get fussy. I started burping Obito as I slowly closed the door to the bedroom. Asuma started crying and once I heard a couple burps, I picked up Asuma and cradled him to feed him as I sat in the rocking chair. I crossed my legs and pushed on the floor to start the rocking motion as I heard a knock on the bedroom door. “Come in!” I called out to see Kurenai poke her head through. 

“I just came to say goodbye. I really should be heading out.” Kurenai admitted as she crept in while resting on the doorframe, clutching tightly to Mirai. 

“Ok. Thanks again for your help Kurenai.” I told her with a smile. “We should set up a playdate for them sometime.” 

“Sure thing, you’re all welcome to stop by anytime.” She waved goodbye before creeping out and closing the door behind her. I rested my gaze on my little chunky boy as he grabbed onto my ring finger. 

“Your brother finally followed your lead.” I cooed to him. “My two little shinobi…” I continued to coo as he fed. Once he was done and I finished burping him, I placed him in the crib alongside Obito. After reaching into the dresser, I pulled out a blanket and laid it out on the floor. One by one I placed them on their stomachs onto the blanket and rested on my side next to them. I grabbed onto Obito, rolled onto my back, and placed him on my stomach. I then gently pulled on his tufts of hair to see just how long they were. Five centimeters maybe? His hair was continuing to come in, but it wasn’t quite as thick and floofy as Asuma’s. Asuma is going to have his dad’s hair. I giggled and both my boys started smiling and cooing happily, which just made me giggle more. 

I lifted Obito up in the air, fully extending my arms before lowering him and gently pressing his forehead to mine. I kept doing this as Obito’s eyes were bright and his smile wide with one of his hands in his mouth. Even a little drool fell on my face, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. Those forehead touches… I felt like my heart would burst. 

“I wanted to be annoyed at you for running around the house naked when we have people here… But when you do things like that…” I rested Obito with his head on my chest as I saw Kakashi in the doorway, leaning up against the doorframe, smiling back at me. 

“I did apologize.” I commented.

“You scarred the poor kid.” He chuckled as he closed the door behind him. 

“I have a feeling it was going to happen eventually… If he wasn’t already.” I joked as I gently stroked Obito’s back and I watched Kakashi approach me slowly before he crouched down next to me. 

“He said you were breastfeeding one of them…” He was trying to ask the question without making me feel like I needed to answer if the answer was disappointing… How sweet. 

“Obito here…” I smiled wide and bit my lower lip. “Finally latched.” I was smiling so wide it almost hurt. He sat down on the floor next to me and placed a kiss on my forehead. 

“That’s great Kessho…” He cooed with a smile just as wide as mine. 

“Lay with me.” I pleaded and he got onto his back, scooching his body extra close to mine. I handed Obito to him and I grabbed onto Asuma. “Now do forehead touches.” I ordered, but he stared at me with an eyebrow raised. I grabbed onto his hand and interlocked my fingers with his. “Remember how you told me that when I press my forehead to yours… It’s like you can feel all the love I have for you?” He smiled and pulled my hand to press his lips against the back of my palm before letting go. He raised Obito up while making faces, then brought him down to press foreheads. His smile turned to that same smile he had when he first met Obito for the first time after he let out a little gasp. I giggled and could hear Asuma cooing happily. Asuma’s turn… I picked up Asuma and raised him up to then bring him down and press his forehead to mine. I grinned wide as I stared into Asuma’s bright, happy eyes. They’re both Yamanakas. “We can sleep with them you know.” I suggested as I pressed Asuma’s head against my chest and watched Kakashi enjoy his forehead touch with Obito. He pressed Obito’s head against his own chest before he lowered his mask. 

“Do you think you’re ready for that?” He questioned cautiously. 

“Yeah.” He took my hand and smiled. 

“Why don’t you go get dressed and we can go out to eat? It might do you good to get out of the house.” He suggested. 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for them to leave the house yet… They’re still too young.” I told him while clinging to Asuma tightly. 

“Tenzo can watch them. There’s still good milk in the fridge, right?” He insisted while sitting up and holding Obito tightly against him. 

“Ok…” I whispered, still a little hesitant. I trust him though… I sat up and followed him to put Asuma in the crib beside Obito. We stayed staring at them for a moment while Kakashi placed his hand on the small of my back. They both started to nod off as their eyes grew heavy and I felt Kakashi kiss my cheek. His lips lingered as they grazed at my skin on the way to my temple to press another kiss. His warm breath tickled my skin along the way and sent a shiver down my spine. 

“Go get dressed, I’ll talk to Tenzo.” He commanded with a quiet but stern tone as he straightened. I traced my finger along the hem of his pants, up his chest, and gripped tightly onto his chin to pull his face back down again until it was mere centimeters from mine. 

“Yes Lord Hokage.” I purred as I brushed my lips against his. He reached in for a kiss but I backed away ever so slightly so I was just barely out of reach while our lips were still close enough to graze each other. I smirked as he growled in frustration. I brushed his face to the side as I started to walk off, but he placed a bruising hand on my thigh to then grip tightly onto it as he crept up behind me and his other hand wrapped around my neck. Except that noise was loud enough to get my two little shinobi startled and crying. “Sounds like you should clean up the mess you made.” I teased as I looked up at his face. He drummed his fingers along my neck before groaning in annoyance and letting me go. 

“Go get dressed.” He ordered again as I felt him leave my space. I started to head out and looked over my shoulder to see him bent over the crib, tending to our two little boys. 

“Yes Lord Sixth.” I called out sarcastically as I headed downstairs. I let down my hair and parted it, bringing it to the front so it covered my chest, mostly for Tenzo’s sake. Tenzo peeked up and quickly hid his face behind his book again. I headed into the bedroom and looked through my closet. I pulled out a red halter dress that was cinched at the waist and bellowed out to just above my knees. I slid that on and adjusted myself against it as I tied it around my neck. I grabbed a pair of silver strappy sandals and headed over to my vanity. When I sat down in front of it, I clutched onto the empty locket that went so well with the dress. I kept my makeup simple, lining my eyes with neat liner on both my upper lid and the waterline. I then added some nude shadow, and moved to contour my face to accentuate my natural features. Topped everything off with powder, mascara, and my signature bold red lip. I opened my mouth and placed my forefinger in to wrap my lips around it, then pulled out my lip slowly. 

“I know something much nicer that would compliment those lips.” Kakashi chuckled and I saw him standing in the doorway, leaning up against the doorframe. I moved my hand onto my thigh, thrust my head back and slowly started to creep the hem of my dress up my thigh. He watched my hand with such intensity as his hips bucked out slightly. 

“What would that be, Lord Hokage?” I purred, but he narrowed his eyes and scowled with his mask now up. 

“You’ve utterly ruined that title for me.” He growled as he reached to grab a yukata from the edge of the closet, which he insisted on having so ‘I don’t have to spend time sifting through everything in that blackhole of disguises and who knows what else.’ He slipped on the light blue yukata that had swirls reminiscent of the Anbu symbol organized in a line with some blank space in between the lines. The symbols were grey, and they matched the obi he used to tie his yukata shut. 

“Do you want me to stop?” I asked with a hint of genuine concern in my voice. He looked at me closely as he pursed his lips in thought while I put my hair into a loose bun on the back of my head and secured it with a red tama. 

“No.” He grumbled and he slid off his shinobi pants as I giggled. I wiped my finger quickly with a wet wipe and headed towards the door with my shoes in hand with Kakashi following me close behind. 

“Thanks for watching them for us Tenzo.” I chimed as I put on my strappy silver sandals. 

“I don’t mind.” He smiled as he put his book down. “Part of being Uncle Tenzo, right?” 

“Right.” I smiled and waved as Kakashi and I walked out the door. Kakashi held out his arm for me to take, and I clung to him tightly, resting my head on his arm. “To think we wouldn’t even hold hands in public all those years ago.” I remarked and he let out a couple chuckles. 

“We’ve come a long way…” He acknowledged before letting out a hum. 

“Kakashi?”

“Hm…?” He peeked at me from the corner of his eye as we kept walking. 

“There’s something I need to ask you about… That’s been gnawing at the back of my brain…” I told him before hesitating as I let go of his arm to rub my bicep. 

“What is it? You can tell me.” He encouraged as he put his arm around me and pulled me into him and I gripped tighter onto my bicep. 

“What did Lord Tsuchikage mean by ‘I thought you said she was good?’” I questioned with a frown as I felt knots start to form in my stomach. My gaze drifted to the ground and his arm slid away. 

“You heard that, did you?” He questioned and I nodded. He sighed into a hum and there was an awkward silence between us. “I…” He sighed again. “I’ll explain once we get to Matsusaka’s.” We walked in silence until we walked into the BBQ place where they seated us immediately. Perks I guess of being Hokage. They sat us down and the server came by to take our drink orders. Kakashi ordered us both a beer and placed the food order too: premium beef, assorted veggies, and rice. 

“Can I get some bean sprouts too?” I asked.

“Of course Lady Hatake.” The server bowed and left after taking our menus. Kakashi quickly grabbed onto one of hands before I could recede them into my lap. He took a deep breath before resting his eyes on mine. 

“I’m sorry. I hated having to say anything but… I’ve had to cancel and push back a few visits Kessho…” He sighed with a frown as he started to thumb the back of my palm. I could feel more knots start to form in my stomach as I continued to listen to his words. “Both me going to visit the other Kage, and them coming here. I couldn’t just say that I couldn’t be away from the twins, because they’d just argue that you could take care of them, or that you all could come with me…” My eyes widened and I snatched my hand away from his. 

“What did you do?” I hissed as my jaw clenched. 

“It was the only way I could stay home to take care of things.” He spoke calmly as he hesitantly pulled his hand back onto his lap. “I’m sorry.” He whispered. I pursed my lips and looked at my lap where I was fiddling with my wedding ring while I continued to clench my jaw. 

“They’re going to know.” I warned as I peered up at him while crossing my legs. They being the shinobi in the Anbu of course. If they didn’t, then I have a lot more work to do as Anbu commander than I previously thought. Kakashi shook his head as the server placed our beers in front of us. 

“They won’t Kessho.” He insisted. “They understood and agreed to keep these things private. There was no need to tell anyone else.”

“I found out and I wasn’t even trying. Word gets around Kakashi, they’re going to know.” I muttered before chugging half of the mug of beer with my hand lingering and gripping tightly onto the handle. 

“I’m sorry…” He whispered again as he placed his hand hesitantly onto my wrist. “I-I didn’t know what else to do…” He stammered and I finally took a good look at him. He looked heartbroken with defeat in his eyes. It wasn’t his fault really… He was just doing the best he could… My grip loosened on handle of the mug and his squeezed tightly at my wrist. “What can I do?” 

“Nothing.” I warned while pointing at him suddenly, causing him to flinch. I sighed and started to rub my temples with my elbows onto the table. “Ok. I need a display of strength…” Battle royale? Maybe… I’m rusty though. I’d need to train. “Whatever I decide, you need to let me go through with it. Understood?” I questioned as I turned up to face him, but he only nodded. “I need your word Hatake.” I commanded. 

“You do what you need to do. You have my word.” He spoke as he placed his palm onto his chest. I let out a sigh of relief as I scooted further into the booth and tapped the seat next to me. His shoulders seemed to relax as well as he slid into the booth to sit next to me. I clung to his right arm as the server brought us our food and placed it onto the table before us. I grabbed onto the bowl of rice as Kakashi placed some of the beef to cook on the flames. “I might need you to train with me a bit.” I told him and he tensed some. “You gave me your word.” I reminded as I placed some onion onto the grill as well. 

“I think I can arrange for that.” He sighed. “Though, knowing you, I’ll have to go hard to make sure you’re ready for whatever is in that…” He grimaced as he waved his chopsticks in my face. “Devious little head of yours.” He narrowed his eyes at me before leaning into place a kiss onto my cheek. He pulled at his mask to quickly sneak himself some beef and rice, stuffing them both into his mouth. 

“Well I just know I’m going to be rusty… And if I’m going to display strength, then I can’t be rusty.” I reasoned before eating some beef with onion and then taking a bite of rice. My elbow hit his forearm in the process and he playfully elbowed me back… So I elbowed him, he elbowed me, and we kept elbowing each other until we were both giggling like two idiots in love. He pulled down his mask while tilting his head over my shoulder and dangling the beef slowly into his mouth, to which he then simply rested his head on my shoulder for a moment while he ate. 

“Why did you order bean sprouts? You haven’t touched them.” He wondered as he edged the plate towards me. I dumped the bean sprouts into my rice and began mixing them in. 

“I like the crunch.” I muttered before taking a bite. He then stole a bite of my rice to try it himself, so I elbowed him again, this time in his side. He jerked over and his head bumped mine.

“Serves you right.” He mumbled as we both groaned. I rested my head on his shoulder and kept eating. “So they both inherited your clan’s abilities…” He mentioned once we were nearly finished eating. 

“Well, I don’t know of a member within the clan who didn’t have them, so I think everyone will.” I mentioned off handedly before finishing off my beer. 

“Kessho… Why did you take my clan name?” He asked as he set his chopsticks down and placed a hand on my thigh. I shrugged as I put my chopsticks down and twisted my body towards him. 

“I didn’t feel connected to my clan.” I told him before I placed my hand on his neck as my thumb traced his jaw. “You’re my family now… Nakano was made up, but Hatake…” I smiled wide as I pulled him down to press his forehead to mine. “Now  _ that’s _ a family name.” I insisted as I placed a quick peck onto those masked lips. 

“Sometimes I think you care more about the clan than I do.” He looked down to his lap and chuckled. “You do know I’m the last member, right?” I pulled him down further and brushed his hair back so I could press my lips to his ear.

“Not anymore.” I whispered. He pulled back and cupped my face with his hands while thumbing my cheeks. “Now let's finish eating so I can get home to my two boys!” I instructed as I rested my hands on his wrists. He chuckled and placed a quick peck on my lips.

“It’s so nice to hear you say that.” He whispered before pulling away. We both finished eating in a peaceful silence with our arms occasionally brushing up against each other. The server came by with the check and I subtly summoned some money to pay while handing the rest to Kakashi to put away. We made our way out of the restaurant and walked out into the clear moonlit night. Kakashi walked next to me, close enough so that our fingers brushed up against each other as we walked. Everyone’s eyes were on us, staring at the Hokage as he walked past, but even so I felt his pinky subtly clinging around mine. 

“Afraid to hold hands now?” I teased.

“Are you?” He teased back as he peeked down at me from the corner of his eye. 

“Why do you think we finally started holding hands in the first place?” I wondered aloud. 

“I don’t know about you, but I think I just stopped caring since everyone knew… That and…” He hesitated for a moment as he looked down to me and I could see a little blush creeping onto the edge of his cheeks that weren’t covered by the mask. “I enjoy your touch.” He spoke quietly so only I would hear as he watched straight ahead. My cheeks were now turning red themselves as I pursed my lips to try and hide my smile, not wanting to give more substance to the whispers I could hear. 

“I suppose that too… I think for me it is that, but also… With you, it’s just really easy to pretend we’re in a bubble… Forgetting the outside world.” I spoke languorously as I watched the moon above. It was full and so bright as it shone on Kakashi’s hair, reflecting against the silver tone.

“It is… Can you do me a favor?” He asked in a way that was more expectant than anything, because I would do anything for him… But right now I feel like being a bit of a tease. 

“No.” I responded playfully with pursed lips and my brows raised. He smirked behind his mask after peeking at me with a raised brow. 

“Well as Hokage, I have an order for you.” He responded with his tone matching mine while I gasped sarcastically.

“And what if I refuse?” I questioned with my free hand pressed to my chest and my mouth agape. 

“Well I guess I’d have to declare you a rogue shinobi.” He argued with a fun-loving voice. 

“Oh. Well we can’t have that now can we?” I mocked as my hand fell to my side. 

“Can you start up your clan’s jutsu?” He asked subtly and quietly. 

_ What is it you’re so eager to tell me?  _ I smirked as I stared straight ahead after having started the mind transmission jutsu. 

_ I just wanted you to know how much I wish I could sneak you away into an alley and kiss you right now.  _ Even in his mind his tone was dripping with lust as his pinky squeezed tightly onto mine, but his face gave nothing away as he watched the road before us both. I tugged onto his pinky and did the signs for the camouflage jutsu with my free hand and pushed it onto him as well. I grabbed his hand and pulled us both into a nearby alley.  _ Ok but now I can’t see you, let alone admire you.  _ He whined as I slammed back into a wall and I pulled him up against me. 

_ Hold on. I have something.  _ I summoned the scroll I used to make that invisibility bubble for whenever I needed to sleep on missions. I rolled it out onto the floor, lifting Kakashi’s feet so we were both stepping on it making sure we were in the center of it. I activated the scroll and undid my jutsu to then place my hands on his shoulder and jump on him while wrapping my legs around his hips. His eyes drifted to the scroll below before he looked at me with a sinister smile as I pulled down his mask. He pushed me up against the wall to hold me in place as he pulled me into a deep kiss. His tongue eagerly explored my mouth as his hands gripped tightly onto my thighs. My arms wrapped around his neck with one of my hands gripping into his hair. He parted the kiss and I started to kiss down his jaw line as his lips pressed against my ear. 

“Wasn’t one of your fantasies public sex?” He cooed and I gripped tighter onto his hips with my legs as I pulled down his mask further to expose his neck so I could nip at it. 

_ Yes, but we can talk here. I know you wouldn’t want to be caught _ . I suggested while sucking down hard as his hot breath tickled my ear. 

“I know how much whispering in your ear turns you on.” He explained with sweet murmurs as I sucked onto his neck and heard a soft, quiet moan escape his lips. 

_ Fuck Kakashi…  _ I thought to him while a stifled moan against his neck as he groped my lower cheeks. 

“Let go and take off your underwear so I can take you, right here… Right now.” He growled lowly between gritted teeth as his fingers sunk into my skin. I stopped sucking his neck and dropped my legs from around him as I stood on the ground. Then, I removed my underwear as he took a half step back while undoing my halter dress top so it was only held up by the elastic of the cinched waist, leaving my breasts exposed. He snatched the underwear from my hand to then cup my face aggressively. His thumb delicately traced my bottom lip as his eyes followed his motions, like he was taking me in and observing me closely. My lips parted at the sudden frail touches. He took his forefinger and middle finger and used them to slowly, but roughly, stuff my underwear into my mouth. “I’m sorry my dear, but you make far too much noise.” He whispered after nosing his way back to my ear.

He held my jaw and had me face out the alleyway, to the street with people passing by, all none the wiser. “Look at them.” He told me quietly with his lips pressed against my ear, grazing my outer shell as he spoke. “If only they knew your breasts were out on full display for them right now, but you’re all…  _ mine _ .” He finished with a growl as he thrust two fingers into me. I let out a muffled gasp and his hand quickly went over my mouth. “Look at what you did.” He whispered as he lifted one finger from my mouth to point at a man who was peering into the alley from around the corner. He was a stocky man, with his navy blue hair swooped to the side and a confused look on his face… But he was staring straight at me. Sure he couldn’t see me… Or rather, he shouldn’t be able to… “It’s like he can see you… I bet he can… Seems you’re even a bit wet right now… Maybe he can smell it on you.” Kakashi’s words were sweet nothings in my ear as his fingers thrust into me at a dizzying pace. I was withering at his touch and drooling, imagining this man was truly watching me as I let out a muffled lust filled hum that was only loud enough for Kakashi to hear. He took in a deep breath through his nose before he started to place kisses along the nape of my neck. 

I tried to turn my head because I wanted to bury my face into his chest as I started to feel my muscles tightening, but he held my head in place, making me watch this man stare into the alley with narrowed eyes, staring straight at me. Just as the man started to look away, Kakashi removed his hand for a second and my escaped moan was just loud enough for the man to grow suspicious again. Kakashi’s hand flew back to my mouth and my hips bucked forward. I could feel his hardness pressed against my hip as I started to reach the edge. 

_ Kakashiii…  _ I moaned before gasping in my head.

“Cum.” He growled with his lips pressed against my ear again, and that’s all it took to push me over the edge as his long fingers continued to press right to that spot that made me wither. I cried out against my underwear and his hand while jerking my hips into him. His fingers left my core and went to his mouth as he made me watch him lick them clean before having me face that man again as he peered into the alley. He pulled out the tama from my hair and my hair rolled down as it uncurled, locks bouncing down to my chest and past. He brushed my hair with his fingers delicately and lovingly as his other hand smeared my drool across my cheek. “Such a good girl…” He cooed into my ear so only I could hear him. This man in the alley decided to rest up against the wall of the alley, occasionally peering over my way. Maybe he was a shinobi… One who knew of jutsu being able to hide people… Maybe he knew  _ exactly _ what was going on here… My hand had slid down between my legs, between my folds, touching myself to those thoughts. One of Kakashi’s hands went around my neck and he squeezed as his other hand grabbed at my wrist, pulling my hand away from the stimulation I was giving myself. I let out a muffled whimper, but he squeezed tighter. “Did order you to play with yourself?” He growled. 

_ No, Lord Sixth. _ I thought to him.

“Did you even bother to ask for permission?” He questioned in a low and quiet mocking tone. 

_ No, Lord Sixth.  _ I repeated. 

“Then tell me… Why did you touch yourself?” He asked as he loosened his grip around my neck to drum his fingers. 

_ I... I…  _

“Use your words.” He urged with a commanding tone into my ear, making sure the man who was losing interest couldn’t hear me. 

_ Him. It was because of him.  _ I explained with growing desperation as the man stood in the middle of the alley, debating to himself whether to stay or leave. I undid his obi and koshihimo, letting them drop to the floor as he squeezed tightly at my neck. 

“Such a little slut sometimes…” He muttered as he watched my face closely. His free hand gripped to my thigh, lifting it and resting the back of my knee on his forearm as he placed his hand onto the wall I was pressed against. “Exposing yourself to other men while married to me…” He cooed with a slight darkness between his words. He let go of my neck to free his hardened girth before he impaled me with it. I let out a groan and his arm wrapped around my head with his hand on my mouth while he had me stare at the man whose head now whipped around staring down the alleyway. He definitely knows we’re here. I let out another muffled moan as Kakashi started to thrust into me. 

Kakashi rested his forehead onto my temple as he started to thrust in and out of me at a dizzying pace. The noise of skin slapping skin had the man in the alleyway with furrowed brows and a tilted head. His eyes widened suddenly and after they returned to normal he smirked. He knows… And he likes it. He leaned up against the alley wall and placed a hand in his pocket, but his hand was moving… Was he… 

“Look at that, my little slut… He’s touching himself at the sound of me fucking you.” He cooed in my ear as my eyes rolled back into my head and I groaned. He gripped tighter onto my face while his pace roughened and he nibbled on my ear, wanting to keep his lips nearby. I watched the man playing with himself as I felt the heat building. That man couldn’t even see us, and he’s risking getting caught in public because of us… 

_ Oh fuck. Lord Hokage…  _ I thought before letting out a whimper.  _ Make me cum.  _ I pleaded to him while I wilted in his hold as he tightened his grip around my mouth. His grip was breathtaking just as I was reaching my edge, prolonging the intensity. His pace grew erratic as I watched the man’s hips buck forward. 

“He’s cumming for you…” He cooed between rough thrusts that felt like they might bruise my lower lips. His pace quickened again and grew erratic which caused me to reach my high while I let out muffled a whimper. My walls pulsated around his filling girth as his hand loosened from my face and traced down my chest. He slammed into me and buried his face into my neck as I felt his length twitch within me. He gave a few more thrusts and placed kisses up along my neck. “Good girl…” He cooed as he pulled out and removed the underwear from my mouth. His hand wrapped around his length and he gathered his seed onto his fingers to then place them into my mouth. He then gathered the fluid that was starting to trickle onto my thigh and he placed that into my mouth as well before cupping my face and breathing me into a kiss. His tongue intermixed with mine as we both tasted him. When he parted, I swallowed and he continued to brush my hair back with one hand as he handed me my underwear with the other. I slipped on my panties and tied back my dress as he picked up his koshihimo and obi to tie his yukata shut. He smiled wide and with such satisfaction before he nosed his way to my ear again. “You look so thoroughly  _ fucked _ .” I raised my hands to readjust my hair but he grabbed my wrists. “Don’t.” He growled. “I like it when people know I’ve fucked you good and well, just not by talking about it and not with them watching me.” He explained with a whisper into my ear as he thumbed my cheek. I started the camouflage jutsu and picked up the scroll to roll up and send back into my closet. 

My head felt foggy, but happy, in a post sex haze as I clung to him and buried my head into his chest. He kissed my forehead and pulled away to turn me around and put his hands on my shoulders as he guided me out of the alley. Once we were a bit aways from the alley I undid the jutsu and Kakashi moved to my side to put his arm around me and pull me into him. We were starting to reach the outskirts of town and I saw that stocky man from the alley. I clung to Kakashi’s thigh for a brief second, which called his attention to me. I then nosed towards the stocky man and I saw a smirk form behind his mask. We walked on ahead of him and I looked over my shoulder towards the stocky man. He was looking to the ground and he ran his fingers through his hair before his eyes caught mine. I winked at him and when his eyes widened I smirked before turning to Kakashi. 

Kakashi chuckled as he faced the ground and shook his head. “Couldn’t help yourself there, could you?” He half smiled as he peered over at me. 

“Sorry…” I told him as I tried to hide my face behind my hand. 

“Actually… That… I might be ok with doing it again.” He admitted as we turned onto our street. I bit the corner of my bottom lip as I smiled wide and clung to Kakashi. We walked up into the house to find Tenzo laying on the couch, reading one of my romance novels. 

“Did you run out of things to read?” I joked at Tenzo. He lowered the book and raised his eyebrow at me. 

“Yes… And you look like a woman from one of these books.” He commented. I took off my shoes and quickly rushed to the bathroom to look into the mirror. My lipstick was a bit smeared, my hair was unkempt and fluffed in certain areas, my eyeliner was smudged, and… There was a little dried cum on my cheek and by my lips, with a faint red hand mark on my neck. I started laughing at how right Kakashi was. I did look thoroughly fucked. Time to wash my face and brush my hair. When I was done, I headed into the bedroom to see Kakashi laying in bed with the twins on their backs. Asuma was between Obito and Kakashi. My three boys… I smiled wide as I closed the door behind me. 

I took off the dress and turned off the bedroom light to then slide into bed. I laid on my side and placed my hand onto Obito’s tummy and rested it there. Kakashi rested his hand on Asuma’s tummy and he interlocked his fingertips with mine. “I love you Kessho.” He whispered. 

“I love you Kakashi.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very proud of the smut scene in this chapter. I hope you all thoroughly enjoy it.


	27. What's going on?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt: 
> 
> “I need you to go back, but I need you to go back under the premise that you were finally released from your assignment here. You need to express your absolute dissatisfaction with getting stuck with such an assignment in the first place. Then you work on gauging the current state of the Anbu members… If the kage know about my mental state… The Anbu know. I’m certain that’s stirred their vexation.” I explained while pulling away Obito to burp him. Tenzo’s eyes had widened as he took in my words. When I was done speaking, he rubbed his hands on his thighs as he looked at the table in a daze. He hummed as he nodded to himself when his gaze turned back to me. 
> 
> “I can do that. You’re right in making that assumption. Hopefully nobody is as bad as Grizzly was…” He remarked as I handed Obito back to him. 
> 
> CLANG!
> 
> My head whipped to Kakashi as both Obito and Asuma started crying. Seems he had banged one of the pans onto the gas range. “Kakashi! Really!” I scolded as I pressed Asuma’s head to my chest.

I awoke to Kakashi still sleeping, his hand on my waist with his arm stretched over and resting on the stomach of my too little shinobi… Obito was awake and cooing happily, occasionally kicking the air as he waved his arms around. Asuma was still sleeping soundly, just like his father. I held out my finger for Obito to take as I propped my head up. His head turned to me and he smiled as did I. “Hi.” I sang, extending out the single syllable into multiple. He let out a choked up sound that I could only interpret as his little version of a giggle. The noise woke up Asuma and he looked at Obito wide eyed, startled by the noise. I let out a little giggle and Asuma smiled as his head twisted towards me. Asuma smiled wide as he started to kick excitedly. I giggled again at my two little babies and my eyes drifted to their sleeping father. He looked so at peace. I took my finger back from Obito and brushed back some of the hair on Kakashi’s face. 

Obito got a little fussy at losing the grip on my finger, so I gave him Asuma’s arm to hold onto. At first Asuma started to get a bit fussy as well, but once Asuma realized Obito was the one gripping onto his arm, he looked at Obito and smiled. Obito then looked at Asuma and smiled, both of them now cooing happily, kicking away. I laughed at how easily amused they were getting and their heads whipped to me in unison. They cooed even louder and I laughed even harder, which just led to this cycle of cuteness and giggles. Soon enough we were a little too loud and Kakashi hummed as he awoke from his slumber. 

“What’s going on here?” Kakashi questioned groggily with a grin growing on his face. Asuma’s and Obito’s heads whipped over to Kakashi’s voice simultaneously and cooed happily. I burst out in laughter and their heads whipped back to me which made me laugh even harder. Kakashi huffed a single laugh and their heads whipped back to Kakashi as if they worked as one. Soon enough I was holding my stomach from laughing as their heads whipped back to me. Kakashi started to laugh, now understanding what I had been laughing so hard about in the first place. They started squealing in excitement, now both looking at each other and the noises they were making. This all felt… It was like this was the first time I truly saw them both. 

Kakashi smoothed over the dip in my waist as I wiped away the happy tears from my eyes as I calmed down from all the laughter. He stared into my eyes with the most loving smile and I wished that I could just lay in this moment forever. “As much as I’d like to keep laying here, we should probably eat some breakfast.” He suggested with his fingers slowly tracing up my side and I smiled. 

“That sounds nice… And with them… As a family.” I told him with a whisper. 

“Kessho…” He exhaled my name as his voice hitched at the end. His hand rested on my face with his thumb smoothing over my cheek. Those words… It seems he’s been waiting a while to hear them. It felt bittersweet. I clung to his wrist and turned my head to place a kiss on his palm. I hated that it took this long, but I loved that I was able to finally say those words for him. 

“Come on.” I told him as I started to sit up. Kakashi clung to both Obito and Asuma as I got out of the bed, making sure they didn't roll away. That would be bad… I placed the sling around my naked chest and grabbed onto Asuma who was nearest to me. I accommodated Asuma into the sling so that his head rested on my exposed breast. This way if he wants to feed, he can. After placing him into the sling, I grabbed onto the blanket hanging over the footboard of the bed. I draped the blanket around me, to cover myself for Tenzo’s sake. When I turned around I saw Kakashi rolling out of bed while clutching Obito in his arms before he placed Obito back on the bed on his back. I walked over to Obito to watch him, so that Kakashi could put on some pants and his skin tight shirt. Kakashi then walked over to Obito and picked him up, kissing his head as he pressed Obito’s head against his chest. I headed over to the closet and grabbed a pair of lycra running pants that cinched at the waist and ended mid-calf. 

When I walked back out I saw the bedroom door open, so I left the bedroom and headed to the kitchen. Kakashi had given Obito to Tenzo as Kakashi started cooking up a storm. I could already smell the eggplant miso. Obito started to get fussy and he was pushing away at Tenzo while Tenzo tried to bounce some to calm him. The bouncing didn’t seem to be working and I held out my arms, letting the blanket hang around my neck, as I reached out for Obito. 

“He’s probably hungry.” I told him as Tenzo handed me Obito. I cradled him in my arm and adjusted the blanket so he was safely tucked behind it as he instantly latched on. I chuckled to myself as I peeked behind the blanket and smoothed over his tufts of hair. 

“So no problems latching now?” Tenzo questioned as his eyes watched where Obito’s head was behind the blanket. 

“No… Doesn’t seem like it anymore.” I practically sang as I felt a sense of calm take over. I stared down at Obito and sometime later I felt Asuma start to feed too. While letting them eat, I sat down at the dining table, onto the cushion on the floor. Tenzo sat down to join me, which I watched in my periphery. “Thank you Tenzo, for helping out. It means a lot.” I smiled without taking my eyes off of Obito and Asuma. 

“Of course Kessho. You’ve… Made me feel like family.” I looked up to meet his gaze. His smile was wide and his large dark eyes glinted with a brightness to them while his cheeks turned a light pink. “Both you and Kakashi.” 

“That’s because you are Tenzo.” I smiled to then purse my lips as my smile faded. “There’s something I need to talk to you about though. You haven’t been to the foundation, have you?” I asked while bouncing Obito. I was starting to grow tense from the conversation topic and I hope that doesn’t cause him to stop feeding…

“No, I haven’t. Why?” He questioned with his head tilted. 

“I need you to go back, but I need you to go back under the premise that you were finally released from your assignment here. You need to express your absolute dissatisfaction with getting stuck with such an assignment in the first place. Then you work on gauging the current state of the Anbu members… If the kage know about my mental state… The Anbu know. I’m certain that’s stirred their vexation.” I explained while pulling away Obito to burp him. Tenzo’s eyes had widened as he took in my words. When I was done speaking, he rubbed his hands on his thighs as he looked at the table in a daze. He hummed as he nodded to himself when his gaze turned back to me. 

“I can do that. You’re right in making that assumption. Hopefully nobody is as bad as Grizzly was…” He remarked as I handed Obito back to him. 

**CLANG!**

My head whipped to Kakashi as both Obito and Asuma started crying. Seems he had banged one of the pans onto the gas range. “Kakashi! Really!” I scolded as I pressed Asuma’s head to my chest. I could hear him muttering under his breath but I couldn’t quite make it out. “I’ve got it handled.” I insisted as I bounced in place, trying to calm Asuma down. There was a knock at the front door. 

“That’s probably Shikamaru. Is there anything else you wanted to tell me?” Tenzo asked with a little haste. 

“I’ll give you a letter to pass privately to the Anbu commander so he’s aware of what’s going on. Other than that there’s nothing else.” I told him while Shikamaru knocked on the front door again.

“When would I start? Obviously not soon…” He furrowed his brows and shook his head as if he was answering himself. 

“It’s the middle of the week right?” I questioned and he nodded as Obito and Asuma started to calm down. “First thing next week.” Kakashi somewhat tossed the bowls of rice onto the table in frustration, and I looked up to him. He crossed his arms against his chest. His mouth was tight and his brows were furrowed. 

“You’re not going back to work next week.” Kakashi stated with a stern and commanding tone. I raised my eyebrow at him and I puffed my chest out a little. 

“You’re right… I’m not.” I agreed and his face relaxed but his arms stayed tense and stiff. “But Tenzo needs to go ahead in order to gauge things without my presence interfering.” I explained calmly. “You gave me your word Hatake and I understand your concerns about me going back too soon, but you need to respect that I know what I’m doing.” He pouted for a brief moment before sighing as his arms unfolded. 

“You’re right.” He patted my head before heading back into the kitchen. “I put you in that position for a reason. I need to let you do your thing. Now can someone go get the door?” Tenzo handed Obito to me after I settled Asuma back into his sling as Kakashi continued to bring over the food. Once Tenzo answered the door, Shikamaru stepped inside. “I just worry about you.” Kakashi explained as he bent over to place a kiss on the top of my head while placing a couple more dishes onto the table. 

“I know.” I peeked up at him to see he was looking down at our two boys and Tenzo and Shikamaru headed our way. Tenzo started to help Kakashi with the food as I sat there, holding my two boys. 

“I’m going to go ahead and get started.” Shikamaru announced to Kakashi. 

“Join us first Shikamaru.” I suggested to him as I looked over my shoulder, but he shook his head. 

“I already ate.” Shikamaru stated as he started to head upstairs.

“Shikamaru!” I called out. He peeked his head from behind the wall where the stairs were at. “Can you set up an hour or so for Kakashi and I to train?” He scratched at the back of his head while making a face. 

“He kind of has a full schedule today. I might be able to fit you in next week…” He replied nervously. 

“Then don’t look at me as his wife. Look at me as the Anbu commander and fit me in to train with him an hour a day.” I ordered this time with a tone that matched that of an Anbu commander as opposed to a mentor or previous sensei… Or wife. Much more commanding, serious, maybe even a little dour. His eyes widened for a brief moment before furrowing his brows. 

“Time can be made for that.” Shikamaru acknowledged with a nod before continuing to head upstairs. Kakashi brought over the last couple plates and took a seat at the table. Rice, miso soup (with eggplant of course), fish, veggies, and chamomile tea for me while Kakashi has matcha. He held out his arms and I gave him Obito to hold. He pressed Obito’s head to his stomach as he sat Obito in his lap while we ate our breakfast. After we finished eating I took Obito and headed upstairs to put them down in the crib. When I came back down stairs, I saw Kakashi had started washing the dishes, so I helped him out. 

“I can finish here. You go do… Whatever it is the Hokage does.” He chuckled with his head hung while he shook it. He placed his hand on the small of my back before it drifted down to my behind as he placed a kiss onto my cheek. 

“Just keeping the peace amongst the shinobi world. It’s not like it’s a big deal or anything.” He joked and shrugged as he walked off. 

“How humble.” I teased as I continued washing the dishes while he went up stairs. After I finished the dishes, I went to go put on a sports bra to then go take care of my two little boys. I placed them on a play mat that had all sorts of things dangling above them. I then laid on the floor and read to them. Sure it was Icha Icha, but they’re too young to understand what’s being said anyway. They were happily cooing away and I took care of them until Shikamaru knocked on the open bedroom door. 

“Are you reading them Icha Icha?” He asked with a raised brow. 

“I’m skipping the risque parts if that’s what you’re worried about.” I informed while peeking up from behind my book. His face returned to his normal bored expression after he shrugged. 

“Your hour with Lord Sixth will be at this time, everyday.” He spoke with half lidded eyes. 

“Alright.” I told him while sitting up. I grabbed onto Asuma and walked over into Kakashi’s office. He was finishing up some paperwork and I held out Asuma for him to take. He was a little dumbfounded at the aspect of having a baby suddenly thrust upon him, but as soon as he held onto Asuma, he looked down at his son’s face and smiled. I walked back into their bedroom and picked up Obito. 

“If you’re just going to use this as time to spend with the kids, I’m sure he appreciates the sentiment, but we have some deadlines to meet with these resource trades.” Shikamaru was warning me as I walked down the hall. 

“As much as I like spending time with my two boys…” Kakashi spoke while looking at Asuma as I walked into his office. “He’s right, this is important.” 

“Both of you need to ask less questions and just trust me.” I told Kakashi while pointing at him. I then turned to Shikamaru who was standing in the doorway and pointed at him. “We will be training. Today we work out, and tomorrow we spar, if you must know. We will alternate. Just because we’re working out, doesn’t mean we can’t integrate the babies in some way.” I finished by waving him off. Shikamaru sighed and made his way through the door to mess with some papers on Kakashi’s desk. “Where should we workout?” I questioned, now facing Kakashi. 

“How about outside? We can get some nice fresh air, lay out a baby blanket if we have to put them down.” He suggested as he stood up and walked over to me. 

“Sounds perfect.” I smiled and led the way after we put sunblock on our two baby boys. When we got outside we laid the baby blanket on the ground and I instructed for us to lay on our backs, with the babies having tummy time on our stomachs as we did crunches. We had to try and reach their heads and press a kiss to it one hundred times. Another exercise was pushups, with either one of us sitting on eachothers back while holding them. Lunges while holding them, lifting them up into the air to then squat, basically using them as extra weight while also spending some time with them that I knew Kakashi would appreciate. About half way through they got a little fussy, so we calmed them down and set them onto the baby blanket. We continued our own workout up until Shikamaru came outside calling for Kakashi. 

“It seems I have to return back to reality.” Kakashi told me as he approached while placing his hands on my hips. His sweat drenched body… I traced my hands from his and up his arms, feeling his muscles along the way as I watched my hands dip and rise over every ripple of his toned arms. My hands continued to trace up to cup his face, pulling him down to me to breath him into a masked kiss as my hips bucked forward to press into him. His hands gripped tightly into my hips, as he aided in the pressing of our bodies together. “Shikamaru, I’m actually going to take my lunch break now.” He spoke when he parted the kiss without ever taking his eyes off of me. 

“Lord Sixth, I can’t push your meeting with the Mizukage.” Shikamaru insisted and Kakashi buried his face into my neck. His face dragged up my neck until his masked lips were against my ear. 

“Seems we’ll have to continue this later.” He spoke with that low seductive voice of his, and I could feel him smirk. He shifted us around so that his back was to Shikamaru. He lowered his mask for a moment so he could press his bare lips to my forehead. When he parted he raised his mask and walked back into the house with Shikamaru. Now I’m alone and how am I going to pick these two up. I stared down at Asuma and Obito with my hands on my hips. 

_ Tenzo, can you come outside?  _ I asked him while starting the mind transmission jutsu. After a few minutes Tenzo came outside. 

“What’s going on?” Tenzo questioned as he came up from behind as I watched my two sleeping boys. 

“I can’t carry two babies who don’t have enough neck control on my own!” I huffed while picking up Obito with his head resting on my shoulder. Tenzo raised his eyebrows and nodded as he picked up both Asuma and the blanket with a smile. We walked inside together, went upstairs, and put my sleepy boys to bed. I stood there admiring them both in their oak crib. They slept so soundly… So peacefully… I was almost jealous. I went down to take a quick shower and changed into a proper yukata, one with black and dark, blood red butterflies, that looked both so delicate and ominous. After pairing it with a bright red obi, I went into the kitchen. 

First I started to make some rice with some veggies steaming over it. I pulled out a pan and lined it with oil, to saute a piece of fish after adding the seasonings. Then, I set some water to make some tea. Finally, I grabbed onto an orange and started to peel it. The peel… And all the stringy bits. I placed them slices in the bento, to one corner in a bento box, separated by a partition. I then placed the rice in the rest of it. Next I layered the veggies on top, poured the excess oil from the fish on top of the rice and veggies, to then top it all off with the fish. I placed the cover on, grabbed the water for the tea, and poured it into a mug. I pulled out the matcha from the cabinet with the different leaves, herbs, and flowers from my garden. After adding the matcha to the mug with the henohenomoheji on it, I stirred it. Lastly, I grabbed everything and carefully started to bring it up to Kakashi’s office. The door was already open, so I walked right in. He was still talking with the Mizukage via video. I placed the food and tea at the edge of the desk, out of the line of frame. Kakashi pointed subtly to the couch and I quietly took a seat after closing the door without a sound. 

“Given what we have spoken about… And the trust you have put in me and the leaf, I’d like to let you know that our new Anbu commander has joined us. They are concerned with identity protection so they won’t be showing themselves, only listening in. Given the severity of the situation, and how you want things handled… I think it only appropriate that this be a matter for our Anbu. Wouldn’t you think?” Kakashi was explaining everything very cautiously. Taking his time with each word, likely trying to keep the Mizukage at ease. 

“Yes well… You’re probably right. Normally I would assign this to Ao, but he barely survived the attack on the Headquarters of the Allied Shinobi Forces… Honestly, he’s the only reason I was interested in the Hashirama cells in the first place, but… The only other person I trust enough is Chojiro, but his specialty is kenjutsu and still has much to learn.”

“And you’re worried your Anbu may contain members in which they are unhappy with the current status quo?” Kakashi remarked at this point I shifted on the couch to keep Kakashi in my line of sight, making sure that I could gauge his reaction on the severity of the situation. His gaze was intense, with his eyes locked on the screen, but his seated position was open, likely to help encourage trust. 

“Yes… I’m not quite sure how high up this goes which is why I would have preferred this meeting in person… But given the circumstances… I understand. Your wife is quite lucky, Kakashi, to have such a thoughtful, caring… Charming… Handsome man like you.” I did my best to stop the snickers but that couldn’t stop the smile on my face. Kakashi was positively flustered as Lady Mizukage dragged out her complimenting words as she shamelessly flirted with my husband. Kakashi was waving his hands in front of him as he closed his eyes and started to sweat a little, showing his nervousness. It was rather hard to contain the snickers. 

“Please Lady Mizukage, I’m just doing what any husband would do.” Kakashi insisted with haste, trying to diffuse the situation and prevent anything further from happening. 

“How is your wife?” She questioned. Kakashi tried his best to contain himself some as he put his hands down. Well the word is likely out there already… Chances are high that the Anbu members know. If they already know there’s no harm in indulging her… It could even help establish trust. He looked out to me from the corner of his eye, and I gave him an encouraging nod. The tension in his shoulders lessened, and he leaned into the frame. 

“She’s doing well actually. She’s coming into her own as a mother, and really bonding with them now.” Kakashi spoke… Almost proudly as he smiled his closed eyed smile. 

“And your two boys? I hope I get to meet them when I do finally come visit Konoha again. If they take after their father, the future ladies of Konoha are in for a treat!” She started gushing and I smiled again holding back snickers as Kakashi leaned back in his chair while rubbing the back of his neck. After he took a moment he smiled again.

“They’re great! They’re growing very quickly.” It was Kakashi’s turn to gush. He pursed his lips for a moment as he hesitated about what he was going to say next. 

“Well? I can tell you’re about to say something! Whatever it is, I’d love to hear it. Even if it is to just vicariously live through your family.” Lady Mizukage admitted. He peeked out at me again and I gave him another encouraging nod with a half smile. 

“Just… They always smile at their mother’s intoxicatingly sweet laugh.” Kakashi admitted as he looked down at his wedding ring. I used my finger tips to cover my mouth as I tried to hide part of my face while feeling the blush creeping onto my cheeks. He peeked out at me again and I could see a loving smile from behind his mask. 

“What a romantic!” Lady Mizukage chimed as Kakashi straightened in his chair. 

“If you don’t mind, I’d rather stop giving my new Anbu commander details about my personal life.” Kakashi’s tone went from relaxed to serious in an instant. 

“If  _ you _ don’t mind Lord Hokage, I’d like to see the Anbu commander, surely they have their mask, don’t they?” She questioned, and rightfully so. Kakashi looked over to me and I seductively rose my yukata… to reveal my tattoo. His eyebrow had raised, but he watched me closely while I summoned my mask and black cloak. After putting them on and turning my ring upside down so that the band was the only part visible (and not the two hearts in the shape of an infinity sign), I came around the desk and stood beside him. I could now see Mei wearing a blue dress…? Lined with mesh. She nodded to herself after smiling. “Thank you Lord Hokage. A woman I see. Interesting.” 

“Yes, so we will send a couple of our Anbu members to pick up the files. That being said.” He took a deep breath and let out a sigh as he held the bridge of his nose. He sat forward with his elbows on the desk, his fingers interlocked and his mouth hiding behind them. “I think given the severity of the situation, the Anbu commander herself will have to take care of this one.” 

“Thank you, Lord Hokage, for taking this matter so seriously and for helping Kirigakure. I knew I could trust you to give us the aid we needed. If one day you should ever need our help, please do not hesitate.” She smiled thoughtfully. 

“Of course. I need to do everything in my power to maintain this peace. If what you suspect is going on is indeed occurring, then that will threaten the peace we have worked so hard for.” He spoke with such severity in his tone, and I knew exactly why. I was so tempted to just reach out and place my hand on his shoulder, but I’m not Lady Hatake right now. I’m Lady Kunoichi. 

“I agree, Lord Hokage. I can see the food in the frame, I’ll be awaiting your Anbu ninjas’ arrival. We can go from there. I’ll let you go so you can eat.” Lady Mizukage bowed her head before disconnecting. Kakashi turned off his monitor and the connection before sinking into his chair, sighing with his eyes closed as he took a moment to himself. I took off my mask and cloak and sent them back to then fix my ring. I found myself staring at that ring, so simple… Yet it spoke so much about his love and dedication to me... I let out a little yelp as he pulled me into his lap without warning, but with a grunt. His mask was down and he smiled with one hand on my outer, upper thigh, and his other on my upper back, holding me in place. I wrapped my hand around his neck to hold myself up and his hand moved to the back of my head to pull me into a sweet kiss. His soft lips pressed against mine and his hand on my upper thigh moved to cup my lower cheek as he spread his legs for access to my behind. I placed my free hand onto his chest and parted the kiss. 

“I love you, but you’re sweaty. Now eat.” I ordered before rolling off of him. He pouted for a second before taking a look at the food. 

“Did you eat?” He questioned with his eyebrow raised. I hesitated as I forgot… Though there’s still more rice down stairs. “Go get some chopsticks.” He commanded. I chuckled as I left his office to go get some chopsticks. After grabbing a small bowl of rice, my chopsticks, and some chamomile tea, I saw Shikamaru come back in through the door. 

“We’re about to eat. He just finished his meeting with the Mizukage.” I informed him. He nodded and walked up the stairs behind me. After following me down the hall and into Kakashi’s office (where Kakashi quickly raised his mask), Shikamaru stood in front of Kakashi’s desk. 

“How did the meeting with the Mizukage go?” Shikamaru questioned in that bored, lazy tone as he placed a few pieces of paper on Kakashi’s desk.

“Fine. Honestly it was about things that I need to discuss with Kessho. Something that can’t really be on the books.” Kakashi stated before he pulled at his mask to slide in a slice of the orange from the top, using his tongue to guide it into his mouth. Shikamaru nodded, grabbed a different stack of papers, and left the room. Kakashi sat onto the floor and brought the bento box with him. I joined him on the floor and he placed some veggies and half of the fish onto my rice before he pulled his mask down and started eating his own. “I’ll admit, you had me there when you started to pull up your yukata with that look on your face.” He mentioned before licking the chopsticks clean as I watched his tongue. His head tilted as he watched himself lift the hem of my yukata with his chopsticks. I swatted them away and chuckled. 

“You starting to come around more with your definition of public?” I questioned with a brow raised before taking a bite. 

“Maybe. I still don’t ever want to be seen… And I can never get caught.” He warned. 

“But I can?” I teased and he rolled his eyes with a smile before eating another orange wedge. 

“Are you wearing underwear underneath that?” He wondered out loud before he sucked on the ends of his chopsticks to clean them with his lips to then slide his chopsticks underneath the hem of the collar of my yukata, pulling at where my chest was. 

“Maybe if you’re lucky…” I swatted the chopsticks away. “You’ll find out.” 

“How about we take a bath together after this?” He suggested with an alluring, seductive tone. 

“Shikamaru won’t yell at you?” I teased with a smug smile as he raised an eyebrow. 

“I am his superior. I don’t  _ have _ to listen to him.” Kakashi remarked, but we both knew that if it was important, he would listen. 

“There’s nothing else pressing that you need to do?” I asked before finishing my last veggie. 

“No. If you could make dinner, I could probably manage to make up the time too.” He shrugged as he finished his rice. 

“Of course I can.” I smiled before eating my last bite. We both got up off of the floor and he slipped up his mask. I bent over to grab the dishes and we headed out into the hall. Once there we could hear both Obito and Asuma crying. I turned around and handed Kakashi the dishes. “They probably need a change. Take those to the sink, I’ll do them while you shower, then I’ll join you.” He placed a kiss onto my forehead and walked past me. I headed into the boys’ room to change them. After I finished I then headed down to do the dishes. Shikamaru and Tenzo were playing shogi, it seems Shikamaru brought a portable version. Finally, the dishes were finished. I went to walk into the bathroom but as soon as my hand touched the door knob, Shikamaru called out. 

“He still has a lot of work to do today.” Shikamaru commented without looking up from his shogi game. 

“I’m aware, and some of it, is discussing his meeting with the Mizukage with me.” I remarked as my hand twisted the doorknob. He raised his eyebrow and finally turned to me. 

“You really expect me to believe that’s what you’re going in there to do? All you’re going to do is distract him and cause him to work until later.” Shikamaru spoke with that bored, indolent tone of his. 

“We’re aware Shikamaru. Believe it or not, we do end up discussing things. You’ll realize that when you work with the person you marry… It becomes pillow talk.” I shrugged before sneaking into the bathroom. 

“Pillow talk?” Kakashi asked with raised brows while in the tub as I closed the door behind me.

“Am I wrong?” I questioned as I swayed my hips, walking towards the tub while putting up my hair into a bun on the top of my head and he sighed. 

“I suppose not.” He chuckled as he shook his head. His eyes traced up and down my body as he looked me over while I leisurely took my time taking off my obi. “Moment of truth.” He nearly moaned as I watched his hand go down to his girth while my obi fell to the floor. I took off my koshihimo and as it fell the fabric started to lose its shape, now that nothing was holding it back. His fingers wrapped around the top of his length as his thumb caressed the tip. He impatiently used his other hand to pull back at the yukata with a single finger. “Dirty girl.” He growled as his hand slid against my skin and around to my back to grope at my lower cheek while I slid off the yukata and let it fall to the floor. I slowly stepped into the tub, sitting at the opposite end of him, but facing him. He watched me, intrigued, studying my every movement as I spread my legs. I placed one hand over to grope at my breast to then pinch my sensitive nipple as my other hand traced down my abdomen and down between my folds. My finger started swirling around my most sensitive little bundle of nerves, letting out gasps after a quiet little moan. He watched me so intensely, his gaze shifting between watching my fingers, to staring at my lips. His fingers drummed as he gripped a little tighter around his shaft to then slowly rub himself up and down. I watched him as he slowly started to edge himself to me, letting out these deep, dark, lust filled hums. 

His hand left his girth and he gripped onto the edges of the tub to start making his way towards me but I pushed my foot to his chest and pushed him against the other edge of the tub swiftly. Water splashed out of the tub as I let out another moan, this time a little louder as a devious grin grew onto his face. I held my foot pressed against his chest while one of his hands slowly crept up my calf and the other continued to slowly rub as he edged himself. I watched. I watched it all, taking him in and  _ really _ watching him. The way his face scrunched when he groaned… Oh I loved how his face scrunched and how he closed his eyes with his mouth wide open while he made such lewd… tempting… enticing… noises…. 

My foot slid up and over his shoulder as I jerked in pleasure. He took advantage and practically pounced on me in an instant as he pressed my thigh between my abdomen and his. Water splashed out of the tub and onto the floor again as he wrapped his arms around me. The tip of his length pushed my fingers out of the way as he rubbed himself against me. I laced my fingers into his hair and pulled his head into my neck as he thrust into me. His mouth smiled against my skin as I groaned out before whispering his name. “Touch yourself for me…” He breathed into my ear as he started these achingly slow thrusts. 

My hand lowered again from my abdomen to my clit as I whimpered while the water started to swish. I started to bite onto his shoulder to stifle my moans, but he grabbed hold of my chin and pulled my face up. “Let me hear those pretty little moans.” He purred. My breath hitched as he gave a rough thrust. “Come on… Let me hear you.” He murmured as he grazed his lips against my cheek while still pulling at my chin. 

“Make me.” I growled from behind gritted teeth. He gave me a thrust where he pulled out completely, slammed into me pushing me up, and splashed water everywhere. I groaned… Oh did I groan. I jerked his head back by pulling on his hair and I bit onto his neck as he thrust into me again. He started up a pace again, this time one that was faster as my grip on his hair loosened. I picked up my pace as I continued to circle around while dragging my lower lip across his skin. I whispered his name into his ear again and one of his hands clawed at my back. I let out a groan while he whispered sweet nothings in my ear. Telling me how tight I felt, how good I always make him feel, how he loves that I always challenge him, especially in bed… I could feel my muscles tightening as I quickened my pace further. I started to whimper, growing desperate for release. His pace quickened as it became erratic and by breath hitched. He groped onto one of my lower cheeks after sliding his hand underneath. He pulled me into a sweet kiss to then press his forehead to mine as we both reached our highs. His body collapsed onto mine as I wrapped my other arm around him, holding him tightly to me. He kissed my cheek and nuzzled his face into my neck as we enjoyed the warmth from each other’s embrace. 

“As much as I want to just… Lay here with you holding me… We need to mop the floor.” I told him and he chuckled as he pulled away. 

“You go get the towels and I’ll draw us another bath since half the water is gone from this one.” He suggested before showing me his closed eyed smile. I quickly cupped his face and kissed those cute lips attached to that adorable smile before I got out of the tub. Then, like the true shinobi I am, I used my camouflage jutsu to shroud my naked, wet body, and then I used the phasing jutsu to walk out into the linen closet to get some towels. When I came back I released the jutsus and started to place them on the floor around the tub, soaking up all of the water on the floor as Kakashi re-filled up the tub. “Come on, get in.” He waved me over, so I stood up and got in slowly. 

His arms wrapped around me and he pulled me into an embrace with my back pressing up against his chest and abdomen. I rested my head between his chest and shoulder as I sunk into him. He turned to me and I to him and I pressed a kiss on the edge of his lips that I could reach. His chest rumbled with a happy hum. Such soothing vibrations… I found myself tracing a few scars along one of his thighs with my fingertips. 

“So you’re actually assigning me two missions…?” I questioned with a slightly teasing tone while peeking at him with a raised eyebrow. 

“I’m serious Kessho. Don’t get used to it.” He warned with his grip tightening around me some as I felt his muscles tense some against me. 

“Alright, well if you’re so serious, then why me?” I wondered while getting serious myself. I rested one of my forearms against his that was wrapped across my waist while my other hand clung to his forearm that was wrapped around my upper chest. He placed a kiss onto the top of my head before resting his own on it. 

“Because if this doesn’t get fixed, and soon… It could lead to a coup d'etat. There’s rumors going around saying that if they had still been in the ways of the blood mist, they would have lost less people in the great war… Normally I wouldn’t interfere with this but… These aren’t the kinds of people that will want to keep the peace, Kessho.” He explained. 

“So… For them.” I stated and I felt his chin move on the top of my head. He was nodding… I sighed as I tried to nuzzle into him more. His chest rumbled as he chuckled. 

“I don’t think you can push yourself into me any further.” He remarked and I could hear the smile in his voice as I closed my eyes. “But yes of course… For them. Our two little boys…” He trailed off and silence fell for a while. I felt his muscles relax against me as he thumbed my shoulder. “I won’t know the full extent of the mission until we send the Anbu agents to pick up the file. Still… The Mizukage is worried about how high up this goes.”

“I remember. Does she have any reason to believe it goes that high up? Where were the rumors even heard in the first place?” I questioned. 

“She claims to have a source and reason, but they’re in the file.” He shrugged. 

“Is there anything else you do know?” 

“Just that given the amount of stealth needed for this… And the importance, severity, risk… I only trust you to do it. It needs to be someone I trust as much as you and Tenzo, and of you and Tenzo… You’re the stealth expert.” He shrugged again and sighed. 

“I’ll need the other Anbu commander to keep on for a little longer while I complete this then. We should send people right away so I can be ready to go when they come back.” I told him as I felt his body tense a bit. “You know this needs to be dealt with sooner than later.” I urged. 

“Doesn’t mean I have to like it.” He grumbled. 

“I don’t either.” I whined. He jerked my body off of him and twisted me slightly with his hands on my biceps so that I was facing him. He blinked a few times and shook his head in surprise. 

“Who are you and what have you done with my wife?” He kept a mostly serious face with the ever so slightest hint of a smirk. I slapped the back of my palm against his chest.

“I’m serious!” I whined as I crossed my arms under my chest. He chuckled and pulled me back into him while I continued to pout. “I just started to feel like I can bond with them…” He wrapped his arms around me again, one around my waist, and one at my upper chest. I unfolded my arms and smoothed them onto his thighs as he hummed while nuzzling his face into my neck. 

“I know… Hopefully it won’t be too long.” He murmured against my neck as his hot breath tickled against my skin. I groaned. I hadn’t even thought about mission length… Just the thought of leaving them alone… I was just starting to come into my own… I started to let myself sink, only being held up by Kakashi’s grip on me. 

“If it bothers you this much, then maybe we can have the previous Anbu commander go and you can stay here getting things in order?” He suggested as my shoulder slipped away from his face. I shook my head in response. 

“No…” I groaned. “It should be me… I just want to pout about it a little.” He loosened his hold on me and I sunk to where my face was underwear with just my eyes above the surface as I crossed my arms under my chest again. He chuckled before he placed a kiss on the top of my head as I blew out some bubbles while underwater. 

“Pout my dearest…” He placed his hands onto my thighs. “Pout to your heart's content.” His hands slowly crept up my thighs but I pushed them away before raising my mouth above the water again. 

“No… I… I think I want to get out and go spend some time with them.” I told him as I pushed up on his thighs to help myself get out of the tub. He folded his arms over the tub as he rested his head on his forearms while watching me as I dried off. I watched his lovely smile as I put my yukata back on and tied my koshihimo. “Is there anything else you need to tell me?” I asked while tying my obi. 

“No…” He hummed. “Not in reference to Lady Mizukage’s request.” 

“Well then what do you have to tell me?” I questioned as I handed him a towel while he got out. He wrapped the towel around his hips as he held my face in his hands. I looked up to those deep, dark eyes of his that could read into me better than I could myself. 

“Thank you for saying yes.” He hummed before pulling me into a sweet kiss. 

“Yes to what?” I smiled as I rested my hands on his wrists. 

“To being my wife.” He whispered as he rested his forehead against mine. We stared at each other as time seemed to stand still, only parting when the sound of the last bit of water going down the drain brought us back to it. His lips placed a gentle, loving kiss onto my forehead and I quietly left the bathroom to head up into the kid’s room. They slept so soundly still. Honestly a nap with them right now sounds perfect. The crib really is quite big… I bet I could fit in with them… At least while they're still small like this… I pulled down the crib gate and readjusted them so I could lay down with them. They started to get a little fussy so I started to sing to them the same lullaby I knew to sing. I raised the gate back up behind me and soon enough they fell back asleep as I smoothed their hair back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter and subplot loosely inspired by:  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/26927974
> 
> Exchange Raikage with Mizukage and then subtract extra love interest and you get this. Idk. Enjoy the superbowl bitches!
> 
> Sorry I like american football because I'm weird.


	28. Just barely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:  
> We both crouched in front of the crib, holding onto the thick wooden columns of the crib gate, peering through the spaces in between at our two beautiful boys. “They’re really something, aren’t they?” 
> 
> “So easily amused…” I cooed with a smile while I readjusted my yukata to cover myself. 
> 
> “I would have Obito on my lap while I would be writing something, and his eyes would trace the pen in a daze.” He spoke in hushed, happy tones. I tried my best to hold back giggles while I pictured it.
> 
> “Asuma started squealing when I blew on his hair.” I told him while I rested my head on his shoulder as he stifled a chuckle. 

I woke up to them starting to cry out and I remembered that I told Kakashi I would help with the dinner, so I used the shadow clone jutsu to get the dinner started. I pulled down the crib gate as my clone ran out of the room. After getting out and pulling the gate back up, I picked up Obito, changed him, put him back in the crib, then repeated the same thing with Asuma. Once I put Asuma down into the crib my clone merged with me and I realized Tenzo had taken care of the cooking. I’m so happy he’s been here to help out… I crawled back into the crib and laid on my side where Obito and Asuma were cooing away. I watched the two of them as they kicked at my thighs. Asuma who was closest to me had grabbed a hold on a loose strand of my hair and started pulling as he waved his hand through the air. 

I rested my hand onto Asuma’s stomach as I watched them both. Both cooing. Both watching each other’s smiles. Such happy babies… They’re such happy babies… They’re nothing like Kakashi and I in that aspect of things… Which I’m so thankful for, but I also felt a small pang of jealousy. Here I was, in the crib with them, I could smell Tenzo’s delicious food… But I couldn’t bring myself to get up. Their presence was calming and soothing, but it also made it that much easier to just… Succumb to the laziness and that lack of will. I let out a huff and Asuma’s face whipped to me as he felt the blow of hair in his hair. They’re so easily amused… He let out a squeal at that and I half smiled. Obito was smiling wide at hearing his own brother’s squeal, so I blew on his hair again. Another happy squeal. So easily amused… 

“When did we get a third baby?” Kakashi joked. It sounded like he was in the doorway and I could hear him chuckling. I couldn’t bring myself to answer him, but I did smile as I heard him walk closer to me. “I didn’t know you could fit in there.” He murmured. It sounded now like he was crouching behind me. 

“I didn’t either.” I mumbled as I watched Asuma continue to tug at my hair. I felt his hand reach through the gate as he placed it onto my bicep. 

“Are you ok?” He whispered as he gave my bicep a gentle squeeze. Asuma was straight faced as he pulled my hair into his mouth and Obito had his hand in his mouth. 

“Just barely.” I answered. I twisted my body so that my upper back was mostly flat and I could face him as he lowered the gate. “I think this was meant to be a bad day that just happened to have some really good moments.” He placed his hand on my face and smoothed his thumb on my cheek. 

“That’s ok. That’s still getting better.” He placed a kiss onto my forehead. “Dinner’s ready you know.” I shook my head. “Kessho…” 

“They’re hungry.” I informed and he raised his eyebrow. 

“They’re not even crying. How do you know?” He questioned and I just smiled at him. 

“Because they’re always such happy babies…” I told him but he furrowed his brows and smiled while shaking his head. “They’re not cooing happily right now… They’re chewing on their hands. They’re hungry.” I elaborated. He pursed his lips before grinning wide. He leaned into my face and tucked some stray hairs behind my ear. 

“Look at you…” He whispered with a smile. “Even when you feel like that… Teetering on the edge of the dark place… You still know exactly what they need.” His words were bursting with reassurance but of course… My mind still managed to find the negatives. 

“But I didn’t always… I missed so much.” I frowned as I blinked away a tear which he then wiped with his thumb. 

“That’s ok.” He whispered again. “They’re only 2 months old, Kessho. There’s still plenty to see. You’re a good mother. I’m not just saying that because you’re the mother of my children, ok?” He moved his hand to the back of my neck to place a kiss on my cheek. “I promise you that.” Obito and Asuma started to fuss behind me, so I rolled over and Kakashi helped me up. I grabbed onto Asuma and sat down in the rocking chair. I untied my obi while cradling Asuma in my arm and I pulled at my yukata to expose both of my breasts. I then crossed my legs to help me position Asuma as he latched. I looked up to Kakashi who had his brow raised and head tilted. 

“Hand me Obito.” I ordered. He went to pick Obito up and he brought him to me, placing him carefully down on my other arm. I readjusted Obito to place him and he quickly latched. I hummed happily to myself as I started to rock the chair. When I looked up I noticed Kakashi had left the room. I would’ve shrugged to myself, but I didn’t want to move and disturb my two beautiful boys. They both were calmly drinking while occasionally waving their arms around. I half smiled down at my two boys as I continued to rock the chair. The sun was setting and the orange hue shined off of Asuma’s silver hair. It’s starting to look more like hair now than just tufts… Obito still had tufts, but Asuma’s was just so much thicker. 

**CLICK**

I peeked up to see Kakashi fiddling with his camera before looking back down at Asuma as he slowly started to close his eyes… He was going to fall right asleep after this. 

**CLICK**

“Why?” I asked with my brows raised. 

“Because you look motherly… And you’ll probably want to see this photo some day and you’ll thank me for taking it.” He lifted his nose slightly and puffed out his chest as he fiddled with the camera while I chuckled. Asuma finished and Kakashi put down the camera to grab onto him. Obito finished soon as well and after they were burped we placed them into the crib. We both crouched in front of the crib, holding onto the thick wooden columns of the crib gate, peering through the spaces in between at our two beautiful boys. “They’re really something, aren’t they?” 

“So easily amused…” I cooed with a smile while I readjusted my yukata to cover myself. 

“I would have Obito on my lap while I would be writing something, and his eyes would trace the pen in a daze.” He spoke in hushed, happy tones. I tried my best to hold back giggles while I pictured it.

“Asuma started squealing when I blew on his hair.” I told him while I rested my head on his shoulder as he stifled a chuckle. 

“Let’s go eat.” He whispered before standing up. He grabbed his camera before holding out his hand for me to take. I sighed as I took his hand and got up. Suddenly he swooped me off of my feet, literally, and cradled me in his arms. Once he walked us out of their bedroom I finally spoke. 

“Why?” I questioned as I buried my face into his chest. 

“You told me that one of the ways I could help you, was to keep picking you up, so I am.” He shrugged. 

“I didn’t mean carry me.” I mumbled into his chest. 

“Do you want me to put you down?” He asked. After he walked down the stairs, I shook my head into his chest and he huffed a chuckle. Kakashi placed me to stand by the dining table and I plopped down on one of the cushions. Tenzo and Kakashi brought over the food and Kakashi sat down right next to me on the same side of the table as me. I rested my head on Kakashi’s bicep as we ate. When we were done, I lazily helped dry the dishes before slowly making my way to the bedroom. 

I closed the door behind me and turned off the lights before I stopped at the foot of the bed. There I took off my yukata and placed everything on the foot of the bed frame. My hair came down in waves as I took off my hair tie. After I ran my fingers through my long hair a few times, I crawled into bed and curled in on myself while laying on my side. I pulled the covers over my head and stared at the blank sheet. 

Kakashi’s right… I am making progress… But I still feel guilty about the time I already missed. Yet if I don’t pull myself out, I’m only going to miss more time with them. I can’t have that… Still I’m going to miss more time now anyways with this new mission… And I want this mission. Oh do I want this mission… The prospect of it alone excites me sooooo much. Just finally getting out there again.

I’ll probably start by tailing the Mizukage. Observing her, and those around her. Trying to see and observe their interactions with her… Watching to see if anyone gives anything away. Maybe I can even pose as someone she confides in… Someone people might get close to to get close to her? I could probably convince Chojiro to do it. I could use flying raijin to trade places with him… Does he even know what’s going on? Probably not. Oh! I need to write two letters to the other Anbu commander now. I can do them first thing tomorrow morning. No point in writing them now and disturbing him with the info this late. Hopefully there’s some insurgency members who don’t have any mindblocks on. There probably is. I doubt they worry about any Yamankas getting involved. I suppose it’s possible other clans had jutsu similar to the Yamanakas… Even still, some members won’t have it. But would they be important enough to interact with the Mizukage…? I’m sure I’ll be able to detect some people suspicious enough either way… 

I felt the bed dip to then feel someone crawl up onto the bed. No arms wrapped around me… Odd. That was Kakashi… Right? I pulled down the blanket to see Kakashi reading with a book light attached. “How do you not have it memorized already?” I wondered. 

“Who says I don’t?” He replied as he turned the page of the book that I then stole from him. I started to place myself on Icha Icha Violence, but he stole the book back from me. “I want to read, Kessho.” 

“I was going to read to you.” I mumbled as I rolled back over on my side. He placed the book in front of me so he could wrap his strong arms around me and I could feel his naked body envelop me. His hand brushed back my hair as I picked up the book again. 

“Do you want me to put it in you?” He whispered into my ear as he ran his hand along my thigh. I nodded and he hooked my leg up on his hip to then slowly slide his hardened girth into me. I let out a moan as I arched my back into him as he gripped tightly onto my hip with his fingers digging into my skin. My head thrust back and he started to nibble on my ear as I closed my eyes while his arm reached around underneath me and clutched onto my waist. I whimpered out his name and I felt his smile against my ear. “Read.” He cooed as he rested his face with his lips pressed against the back of my ear. I let out a little whine as I picked up the book, and I could feel his smile again. 

“A woman who looked beaten and battered, yet was somehow still painstakingly beautiful walked into the bar and took a seat at the stool two down from mine. Her eyes looked glazed over as she ordered a bottle of sake and she wiped a smear of blood off of her chin. She stared at her thumb where the blood was, almost like she was annoyed by its lingering presence. I knew then that that wasn’t the first time she had wiped blood off of her face. She rested her head onto her palm as she observed the bar while I continued to observe her. She has to be a shinobi… Or a mercenary… She’s not wearing any insignia from any villages. The flickering bar lights danced on her delicately soft skin as she continued to stare at the blood before her until she licked it off with her plump lips blanketed around her thumb. Her eyes drifted on me as she caught my stares and her hair draped around her arm as she turned her head. ‘If you’re going to keep staring, you’re paying for my sake.’ She announced as the bartender placed the bottle in front of her. It was her turn to stare at me it seemed as she took a shot of the sake without ever taking her eyes off of me. I decided to take her in the way she was me. She was voluptuous, but you could see there were muscles underneath, especially with thighs and calves as thick as those. Her hair was golden in color, like the hue that would glisten off of the sky at sunrise. Her eyes were dark… And eyes being windows to the soul… It was just as dark in there. She was broken, nothing but a beautiful shell of who she could’ve been.” I trailed off there… Jiraiya really took me all in when he was peeping… It’s amazing how he can see and write people so clearly all while coming off as nothing but a peeping tom. 

“That’s not you anymore.” He cooed into my ear as he brushed my ‘hair that was golden in color’. 

“I know… I was more so admiring how clearly he saw me.” I hummed before I continued to read some more… reading until sleep took us both. 


	29. I might need some blood though.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:
> 
> “You have too much of a one track mind. You lose focus on what’s around you because you’re so focused on what’s in front of you… On the mission at hand. I need you to work on that, Kessho.” I waved him off with my free hand but he clasped it in his. “I’m serious. It will be the death of you if you’re not careful, and I can’t lose you.” He spoke in a grave tone which made me contemplate his words. Well… He wasn’t wrong… I did focus on the mission objective, everything else be damned. That’s how I was trained. I never had to worry about others since all my missions were solo… And me… I was just a tool. Ultimately expendable. I stopped looking at the ceiling and let my eyes return to his dark ones that I loved getting lost in. “What?” 
> 
> “I’m not expendable anymore, am I?” I wondered as I booped his beauty mark by the corner of his lips under the mask. The corners of his lips turned upwards into a smile and he placed a hand on my cheek as his thumb traced my bottom lip. 
> 
> “No, not at all. They’re getting color again.” He finished with a whisper before he gave me a masked kiss.

I woke up to pawing at the mattress. "They're hungry again." Pakkun informed with slight annoyance in his tone. Kakashi was still fast asleep… I pulled the hand of his I had clutched tightly against my chest and lifted it to press a sweet kiss to the back of his palm as I clenched my walls down around his girth. I felt him squeeze tighter at my waist while he nestled his face further into my neck to then place a lingering hand on the front of my neck. He breathed in my scent as I rolled my hips back into him and I let out a little moan in the form of a gasp. His hand brushed my hair behind my ear as his grip around me loosened. 

"Go." He whispered. "I'll be here for you after." His lips pressed onto my cheek as he slowly slid out while I tried my best to grip onto him with all my might. He groaned out curses with his hot breath blowing onto my ear as I worked those muscles more than I ever had before. A sigh escaped his lips as he pulled away from me and I let out a whine. I groggily sat up and reached over for the yukata on the footboard. At least they're starting to mostly sleep through the night now. After placing the yukata on over my shoulders, I tied the yukata shut with the koshihimo as I walked out of the room. 

I closed the door behind me and headed up the stairs and into the room of my two crying boys. I summoned a shadow clone to then pick up Obito and try to shush him as I started to expose myself for him to feed. I cradled Obito in one arm and had the shadow clone help me cradle Asuma in the other before I had them merge with me. My toes pushed against the wooden floor to start rocking in the chair as I turned my head towards the window. The sun was rising and was starting to peek over the trees. I rested my head back on the rocking chair and I closed my eyes, enjoying the warmth the sun brought onto my face… 

* * *

I woke up this time to find I was in my bed, nicely tucked in. That man… I smiled to myself as I clutched my hands to my chest and bit my lower lip. He must’ve found me fallen asleep on the rocking chair and tucked us all in. He can be such a sweet, loving man… And I’m so lucky… I slowly crept out of bed and walked into my closet to pull out that purple yukata with golden cranes and used that same red soft obi I wore yesterday. I grabbed a purse and headed out with a wave to Tenzo, who didn’t ask any questions. Alright… Fine by me. Once I was in town I stopped by my favorite place to eat some gyoza. I was absolutely starving, so maybe I had a little more than gyoza. I needed to try to eat more anyways. Afterwards, I walked over to the baby store. I need to make sure my two boys had plenty of milk to drink before I leave. I remember having seen some things they sold to supplement my production. Plus it’ll probably be good to have some formula on hand if they need some… Though hopefully that will go unused. I walked into the baby store and grabbed onto a basket. Wandering through the section with all formula, I became dumbfounded. There’s so many different brands and types… How do I even know which one to get…? 

“Lady Hatake!” Someone shouted from behind. I will never get used to being recognized. When I turned around I saw a young woman coming towards me. Late thirties, short pixie cut with a platinum blonde color to it. Their eyes were a bright yellow and they donned a gentle and warm smile. “Is there anything I can help you with?” 

“How do I know which formula to get?” I questioned a little sheepishly. “I haven’t needed to use any, but I want to have some on hand just in case…” 

“Milk production not what you want it to be?” She questioned before she placed a purple and silver tin of formula in my basket. “Follow me.” She ordered as she walked a little further along the wall and I followed closely behind. “You eat these.” She held up a box of cookies before placing them in the basket. “And you dissolve these tablets in water and drink this.” She insisted while holding up a tube before placing it into the basket. “They’ll help stimulate milk production. Now have you been changing the valves and membranes in the pump?” 

“The what?” I asked and she shook her head before walking past me and grabbing onto something that was wrapped in a plastic container. 

“You’ll need these, make sure to change the valves on your pump if you use it frequently enough. They wear out and you won’t get as much as you need.” She warned before adding the item into my basket. “Was there anything else you needed, Lady Hatake?” 

“No… I’d like to look around if that’s ok.” I told her as I gripped onto my bicep. She nodded and wandered off as I started to browse. I always felt so lost in here… There’s so much. Clothes, bibs, cloths, activity mats, teething toys… They’re probably going to start teething soon. I think we have a couple… Probably should get a couple more. I added some ‘teething mitts’ and a couple of teething rings into my basket. I wandered around some more and stumbled upon the plushies. The twins already had a few, including ones the Kazekage gifted them of Shukaku. Wait… Is that…? I picked up a plusie of… Pakkun? I giggled to myself as I held the plushie in my hands and checked it’s paws. 

“They’re quite popular.” The store owner remarked. When I turned around I was her folding and stocking blankets. “I thought they would be a cute idea. I hope they’re accurate.” 

“They’re pretty accurate.” I commented with a chuckle. “Although…” I held up one of the paws of the Pakkun plushie to show it to her. “Pakkun is very proud of his soft toe beans, so if you ever want to make it _more_ accurate…” I smiled at her as I walked over. “Just a suggestion.” I shrugged before walking over to the register. She chuckled and nodded before heading to the register herself. 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” She said with a smile as she checked out my items. After I paid, I took the bag she handed me and headed out of the store. 

“Pakkun!” I yelped upon seeing Pakkun appear in front of me and I side stepped to avoid stepping on him. 

“Boss was worried since you left without saying anything and sent me to check on you. You good?” Pakkun spoke in his usual grumpy tone. I crouched down and petted him behind his ears before scratching his chin just the way he liked. He closed his eyes and enjoyed his scretches. 

“I’m fine. I was just running an errand. Tell him to relax. It’s a good day.” I explained as I stood back up. 

“Will do.” Pakkun stated before flickering off. I stopped by to grab some barbeque on the way home as I tried and snacked on one of those cookies. They’re good, kind of like sugar cookies… Soon enough I was on my front porch and greeted with Tenzo playing with Asuma and Obito. 

“I brought food back for you Tenzo. Kakashi and I will eat after we spar.” I informed him as I placed the food onto the kitchen counter.

“Sounds good.” He called out before he continued to coo away at my two baby boys. I put the formula, cookies, and the tube of tablets in the pantry but not before pulling one out. I then grabbed the tablet and placed it into a water bottle that I then filled with water. Afterwards, I went into my bedroom and teleported over my sai and their holster to then put on my shinobi uniform. It’s been a while since I’ve worn this… It felt nice wearing it again. I grabbed onto the bag containing the teething toys and the Pakkun plushie and stopped in the boys’ room to store the teething toys. When I walked up to Kakashi’s office, I noticed he was writing on some papers with Shikamaru leaning over him. 

“I won’t have you be late to sparring with me Hatake.” I warned with a hint of seduction in my voice. His eyes lifted from his papers and he smiled behind his mask. “I got you something.” I told him as I held the plushie behind my back. He put down his pen and rested his hand on his palm. 

“Oh?” He had a dreamy look in his eyes as I rested on the door frame. I tossed him the plushie, which he caught to then take a look at. He chuckled in amusement as he looked at the plushie. 

“I got it at the baby store. I guess they’re selling them there.” I told him as I walked to his desk while swaying my hips. 

“It’s cute.” He smiled as he stood up from his chair and placed it in an area of his bookshelf that held photos. 

“We need to finish with these papers first.” Shikamaru spoke with a stern and commanding tone. I raised my eyebrow and folded my arms underneath my chest. 

“And we need to spar. Do those papers need to be done before 1PM?” I questioned. 

“Well, no-” 

“Then they can wait.” I replied harshly as Shikamaru straightened and folded his own arms across his chest. “I understand you’re concerned about Kakashi working from home and distractions, but I am the Anbu commander. This is just as important as any of his other duties, and I don’t need this paper work cutting into my time.” 

“She’s right Shikamaru. She has an assignment before returning. I need her to be sharp. I understand your concerns, they’ve been voiced… Now please, let me decide what’s best.” Kakashi warned with his palm resting on the desk and his hip cocked to the side. Shikamaru closed his eyes and one hand left his chest to pinch the bridge of his nose before he sighed and nodded. 

“I’m sorry for overstepping my bounds Lord Hokage, but we do have a lot of work to do.” Shikamaru bowed his head in the way of Kakashi. 

“And it will get done on time.” Kakashi reassured as he walked over to me. “Come on.” He placed his hand on the small of my back and I loosened my arms and turned around as he guided me out of his office. “I think you and Shikamaru should play shogi when you get back.” He mentioned as we walked down the hall. 

“I have to write a letter to the Anbu commander first… But yeah. We should talk.” I agreed as we headed down stairs. I walked into the kitchen to grab my water bottle and stopped to press a kiss on both of my boys' foreheads. “I love you.” I cooed to the both of them as Tenzo sat by with a baby book. We then both walked to the front door, put on our shoes, and made out for the nearest training grounds. 

“So you went to the baby store… Were those where your errands were?” He questioned as he placed his hands in his pockets. 

“Yeah… I need to make sure that they have enough milk before I leave.” I reasoned with a sigh. I pursed my lips as I stared at the dirt path while fiddling with my ring. 

“What else…?” He grumbled slightly with a brow raised as he stole a glance. I took in a deep breath as I hesitated. 

“I… The longer I’m away… The more at risk I am for having my milk production lowered.” I admitted to him as I gripped onto my bicep. “I just got them to latch…” I whined with a whisper as I willed no tears to come out as I felt my eyes grow watery. He put his arm around me and pulled me into him. 

“What if…” He hummed before pausing. “You…” He paused again and knots started to form in my stomach. “Put your insignia on a palm frond… Or something easy to destroy… And then you teleport to me, whenever you can. Being near them will help… Right?” He wondered as the knots in my stomach dissipated. I rested my head in the crook of his arm and smiled. 

“You’re a genius.” I hummed happily before I took a sip of water. 

“Can I have some of that water?” He asked as he held out his hand to take the bottle. 

“Not unless you want to start lactating.” I told him and he placed his hand back in his pocket. 

“Well one of us has to feed the kids.” He joked with a chuckle and I laughed as we both arrived at the training grounds. They were empty luckily, so we could get some much needed privacy. I tossed down the water bottle as I pulled out my sai. “You’re going to use those?” 

“I was thinking about it.” I mentioned as I looked down at my sai… I haven't used them since the war. They could use some sharpening… "Speaking of which, is this the first time you'll be fighting without your sharingan?" I wondered out loud as I glanced up at him. His gaze had turned rather solemn as he nodded. I put my sai back in their holster and he rose his brow. "Not sharp enough." I remarked as I took the holster off. "So should I go easy on you then?" I teased while elbowing him softly and a smile grew on his face behind his mask as he crouched into a defensive stance. 

"Not a chance." He waited as I put my hair into a low ponytail and I crouched into a defensive stance myself. He nodded and we started to circle each other as we waited for each other to make the first move. I opened my mind to read into his. Suddenly I felt thankful he was willing to be my test subject, so I could create mindblocks for the Hokage and the Anbu that would still allow me (and only me) to see into their thoughts. His mind divulged that he had no intention of making the first move. Alright, let's give him an opening then. I feigned a punch and created an opening where he lunged for my face, only not in the way I had anticipated. Seems he's using my abilities to _his_ advantage. An uppercut came right to my face and I nicked at my tongue. 

Blood surged into my mouth and I could feel the adrenaline start to course through my veins. I spat out the blood and returned the smile he was giving me. His was smug, mine… mine was filled with excitement. I couldn't trust his thoughts, not completely at least. I'll have to go in blind and rely on feel. He lunged forward with a punch, so I grabbed his arm, pulled and kneed him in the gut. He let out a groan to then grab onto the back of my knee with his free hand and pull it towards him so I would lose balance and fall on my back. Just as he was about to encroach me I pulled both of my legs back into me and pushed against his lower abdomen while letting go of his arm to kick him up and over me. I jumped up onto my feet while pushing back on the ground below me as I heard him skid against the grass behind me. 

I could hear his feet rapidly approaching from behind and I started a substitution while dodging his lungs only to have it be a fake and I could see him hit the wood block from the other side while I was behind him. Then, I reached my arm out from behind him to place it across his chest. Just as I was about to kick his leg out from under him, he jumped and flipped over my arm to evade me sending him to the ground. He now has a hold of my arm and he placed his hand onto my back to whip me forward and away from him to create some space between us. I stopped with a skid as I crouched into a defensive stance to stare at him. He had started to break a sweat and so had I, both of us relishing in excitement. "What's wrong? Need a new game plan?" I teased. 

"With you I can't have one, now can I?" He spoke with playfulness in his tone as I could see the static forming in his hand. His fingers were twitching, eager for us to continue our dance. We continued to spar for quite a while. We were both rusty, making careless mistakes…But in part I'm sure they were made purposefully. There was just something about the rush of being hit every once in a while that let you know that you were still in the fight. He lunged at me with what looked like a purple chidori and I narrowly dodged it by spinning out of his way. While spinning away I stupidly caught my foot on a branch and stumbled to the ground. In an effort to allow me to recover, I clasped one of his ankles between both of my feet and pushed them towards each other to cause him to topple over. I rolled on the ground and pushed off to land his chest, straddling him as I pulled out a kunai to hold to his throat. His arms pushed against my thighs so that they broke free and I was now fully sitting on his chest. He grabbed onto where my bicep met my elbow with one hand and held my wrist in his other as he pushed to hold my own kunai up to my throat. His grip was tight and I wasn't strong enough to push back against his hold. I laced my hands with chakra to push back, but he simply did the same and the kunai stayed in place. I need to distract him while I come up with something. His eyes were narrowed and his lips tight as he fought both against my grip and ensuring that he wouldn't accidentally Pierce my neck. That's it! 

"Do it." I uttered with a deadpan tone. He shook his head and blinked a few times in confusion. 

"What?!" He gasped. 

"Do it!" I urged while he blinked some more and loosened his grip just enough. I pushed The kunai away from my throat, though scratching my arm and tearing at my cropped sweatshirt in the process. His arm twisted and I pushed my thumb into his palm to take the kunai away from him. I quickly placed my knees onto his biceps to pin him down appropriately so I could hold it against his throat. He wrapped his forearms around trying to grip and push my thighs off, but he couldn't get a good grip. A few seconds later blood trickled down from the kunai and the crimson color slowly drenched his neck. 

"Fuck Kessho." He mumbled as I continued to stare at the blood while he struggled against my hold on him. "Pancakes!" He called out to grab my attention. I tore away at the sleeve as I scooched back so that I straddled his lap instead while I dropped the kunai in my left hand onto the ground. My arm was gushing with blood and the torn sleeve was utterly soaked. The gash had been far deeper than a scratch and I quickly started medical ninjutsu to stop the bleeding. Kakashi moulded some water with his chakra to help clean the blood off of my arm as I continued to close up the wound. Soon enough I stopped all the bleeding, though certain areas of the gash would leave a scar. Kakashi pressed his forehead to my temple as I continued to stare at my arm, inspecting it to make sure nothing was left unfixed. He placed his hand on my chin to turn me to face him as his thumb traced gently along my lower lip. "You've lost some color…" He mumbled quietly. 

"I'll be ok. I might need some blood though." I told him as I started to feel a little woozy. 

"Ok." He whispered as he tucked a few stray hairs back. He placed a kiss onto my forehead as he helped me off of his lap, to then cradle me in his arms. "No kunai next time." He announced as I buried my face into his chest. 

"Ok, but ninjutsu will be allowed." I warned with a mumble, not feeling enough energy to fully speak now that the adrenaline had dissipated. “I still need to practice Kakashi.” I spoke somewhat dreamily. 

“Alright. And we’ll continue to use our safeword, we stop immediately upon hearing it.” He squeezed me tighter into him and I nodded against him. “You feel cold.” He mumbled while picking up the pace in his walk a little. 

“I still won.” I smiled while peeking up at him and he scoffed. 

“I would’ve found a way out of that hold.” He told me and I felt his chest push against my head as he puffed it out a little. 

“Suuuuure.” I hummed after laughing. 

“Did I graze you with the purple lightning blade?” He asked, turning a little serious now. 

“Less than when you tried to chidori me.” I teased quietly as he approached the hospital, but he just shook his head.

“You look so tired and fragile…” He nearly whispered. “Yet still _so_ much sass.” He chuckled as he walked through the hospital doors. 

“What happened now?!” I heard Kameko’s voice quaking nearby. 

“Just a little blood loss. We got a little rough.” I joked while winking at Kakashi as he gently placed me down onto a wheelchair. When I saw Kameko, her violet curls were bouncing as she shook her head. 

“I’ll take her on over to be evaluated by a medical ninja right away.” Kameko informed Kakashi as I closed my eyes and shivered. 

“Can I go with?” Kakashi asked quickly. This is the part where Kameko was probably shaking her head. 

“I’ll come get you as soon as she’s set up.” I heard Kameko call out and I could feel us moving as I shivered some more. “What were you two doing?” She whispered, slightly annoyed.

“Sparring. I’m a little rusty.” I shrugged as my head hung back. It felt like it took so much effort to hold up. The wheelchair stopped moving and I felt someone pull at the arm that lost blood. Next thing I knew I felt a needle go in, my arm being placed around someone's shoulders, and then being placed onto a bed. His hand clasped onto mine. I didn’t need to open my eyes to know it was his. I just knew. His lips touched the back of my palm. “They hurt.” I murmured while scrunching my face. 

“What hurts?” He questioned with a whisper. 

“I need to pump.” I told him as my eyes fluttered open. 

“Just a little longer. They said I can take you home as soon as the transfusion is done.” He replied while thumbing the back of my hand. “Why… Why did you tell me to do it?” He asked with his brows furrowed as he stared at our hands. “I thought you said you were having a good day.” He whispered and I chuckled. 

“I was trying to bide time…” I told him and his eyes lifted to meet mine while his brows unfurrowed and his head tilted. “In order to get out of your hold.” I elaborated and he smirked. His free hand pulled off my bandana with the leaf insignia and he started to smooth my hair back while his smile faded. 

“You have too much of a one track mind. You lose focus on what’s around you because you’re so focused on what’s in front of you… On the mission at hand. I need you to work on that, Kessho.” I waved him off with my free hand but he clasped it in his. “I’m serious. It will be the death of you if you’re not careful, and I can’t lose you.” He spoke in a grave tone which made me contemplate his words. Well… He wasn’t wrong… I did focus on the mission objective, everything else be damned. That’s how I was trained. I never had to worry about others since all my missions were solo… And me… I was just a tool. Ultimately expendable. I stopped looking at the ceiling and let my eyes return to his dark ones that I loved getting lost in. “What?” 

“I’m not expendable anymore, am I?” I wondered as I booped his beauty mark by the corner of his lips under the mask. The corners of his lips turned upwards into a smile and he placed a hand on my cheek as his thumb traced my bottom lip. 

“No, not at all. They’re getting color again.” He finished with a whisper before he gave me a masked kiss. He looked upwards to the blood bag that was now empty. “I’m going to go get the medical ninja.” His masked lips touched the back of my hand once more before he straightened up and walked out the door. The medical ninja came in and removed the needle from my arm. I started to sit up, but Kakashi swooped his arms underneath the back of my legs and cradled me in his arms again. “There’s no way I’m letting you walk home now.” He announced as he carried me out of the room. “Just rest. Close your eyes.” He instructed in a soothing calming tone as he walked me out of the hospital in his strong arms. “Feel the warmth of the sun on your skin.” He hummed, so I stuck out my face to feel the warmth of the sun on my cheeks. It felt so nice… Like one of his hugs… 

“You have my bandana?” I asked quietly with my eyes still closed. 

“In my pocket.” He acknowledged as he continued to walk on home. 

“I’m sorry about this. I’ll work on being more aware.” I sighed as I placed my hand onto his chest. 

“That’s all I ask.” He spoke almost in a whisper as I felt his heartbeat. I got lost in that soothing, steady rhythm as I continued to enjoy his embrace along with the one from the sun. Eventually the warm caresses from the sun were taken over by cold shadows and I heard the door opening. I opened my eyes to see Shikamaru waiting by the door. 

“Lord Hokage, you’ve missed a meeting with one of the logistics coordinators for here in Konoha. I managed to push it back, but you only have 15 minutes to prepare.” Shikamaru remarked with haste as he followed Kakashi into our room. Kakashi placed me on our bed. 

“I’ll be ready.” He spoke to Shikamaru in a stern commanding tone and motioned his head towards the door. Shikamaru clicked his tongue, shoved his hands in his pockets, and left the bedroom. Kakashi turned back to me, lowered his mask, and placed a sweet, gentle kiss onto my lips as he cupped my face in his hands. I managed to delicately place a hand on the back of his neck as I leaned into the kiss only to have it end too soon for my liking. “Just rest ok? I’ll talk to Tenzo and have him bring the boys down, get you your pump… Anything you need.” 

“I had brought back barbecue before we headed out to spar. It’ll be cold now, but don’t forget to eat.” I warned, but he just chuckled before shaking his head. 

“Don’t I usually have to be the one telling you that?” He joked before nosing his way to my ear. “I love you…” He whispered into my ear as I reached out for his hand. 

“I love you too.” I purred into his ear before I started to nibble on it. 

“I have to go to work.” He murmured as his cheek brushed against mine as he pulled his head back to give me one last, quick peck on the lips. He gave my hand a squeeze before he headed towards the door, only stopping in the doorway to steal one last glance and give me one of his strange winks. I scrunched my face and he chuckled as he left to go talk to Tenzo. I sunk into the pillow and smiled at the thought of my loving husband. He’s just so thoughtful, caring… Loving. Tenzo came in wearing a sling and Obito in his arms, both babies were crying. I exposed my chest by pulling up on my sports bra, cropped sweatshirt, and mesh shirt, and Tenzo started to look at the ceiling. 

“Tenzo, I need you to look at me. I will not have you dropping Obito because you refuse to look at my breasts.” I demanded. After his face scrunched, he opened his eyes and carefully handed me Obito. I cradled him in one arm and motioned for Tenzo to hand me Asuma. I stared down at my two feeding baby boys. “Thank you Tenzo.” 

“I’ll go get you your food.” Tenzo mentioned while walking out of the room. 

“Thank you Tenzo.” I shouted and Obito stopped feeding for a brief moment to whine. “Shhhh… I’m sorry Obito.” Tenzo came back and placed the food on the nightstand, next to my water bottle. Kakashi didn’t forget it… I smiled as I watched my two boys again. “I’ll be gone for a week… Maybe longer.” I informed Tenzo as I continued to watch my two growing boys. 

“Kakashi mentioned it to me.” Tenzo acknowledged as he sat on the edge of the bed. 

“I’ll still need you to gauge the Anbu.” I ordered as I watched Obito finish feeding. 

“Kakashi’s going to need help with the kids with you gone…” Tenzo reminded as he took hold of Obito to start burping him. 

“I plan on having Ino stop by and help out. I’m sure she’d be more than excited to. Your place is to gauge the Anbu. Kakashi can manage and I’ll be stopping in once in a while with the flying raijin too.” I insisted as I peeked up at Tenzo. 

“The twins are a lot of work Kessho. Kakashi’s hokage, he’s going to need more than Ino just stopping by.” Tenzo warned himself now and Asuma finished feeding. I placed Asuma onto his back on my legs as I pulled down my bra and shirt to then start burping him. 

“I’ll figure it out with him. I’m sure of it. Don’t make me pull rank Tenzo.” I alerted before placing Asuma on the bed beside me. Tenzo sighed and nodded. 

“I’m going to check in. I’ll make sure I’m not followed.” Tenzo held out as he placed Asuma next to Obito. 

“Fine.” I grumbled as I grabbed onto the food so I could start eating. “Can you get me the pump and a couple bottles? Oh! And also a cookie, one of the ones I bought earlier today.” I pleaded before taking another bite of food. 

“Sure thing.” He smiled as he patted my knee while getting up. I glanced down at my two little boys who were now sound asleep… Like clockwork. I continued eating quietly until Tenzo brought down the pump, some bottles, and a couple of the cookies. 

“Thanks.” I whispered. He nodded as he placed the items on the bed. 

“Let me know if you need anything else.” He whispered with a smile before leaving the room. I waved as he left while I finished eating. He closed the door behind him and I exposed my chest. I have to make sure they have enough to eat while I’m gone. Putting the insignia on a palm frond is a good idea… But who’s to really say I’ll actually even get a chance to slip away? I watched my two sleeping boys as I turned towards them on my side. I have to find a way to. Production can stop after only a few days without feeding, but sometimes it can take weeks… Hopefully I’m on the weeks end of the spectrum. 

I ran my fingers through Asuma’s wiry, floofy tufts of hair. I _need_ to be on the weeks end of things. Asuma stirred a little with his hand waving through the air. I retreated my hand quickly and started to sing to them over the sound of the whirring pump as I placed my insignia onto it so I could summon it at will. He started to return to the deep sleep that his brother was still in as I finished the song and I smiled. They’re such good boys… I’m so thankful we got off easy. Kakashi wouldn’t have been able to handle us all without such well behaved boys… Although… I wonder if this is foresight into how much of a handful they’ll be when they’re older. 

“Tell me my little boys, are you just saving your troubling years for when you’re older?” I hummed with a smile. That’s probably it. Ah well, nothing is ever perfect. I’m alright with that as long as I have Kakashi with me. When the pump finally stopped I checked to see that I had two full bottles. These products seem to be working pretty well. I capped the bottles, took off the pump, and carefully got off of the bed. I then placed the pillow near them, guarding them from rolling over. After gathering the bottles and plates, I crept out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. I stored the bottles in the freezer and placed the dishes into the sink. 

“Should you be walking around?” Tenzo asked as he walked into the kitchen behind me. His brows were raised and his big dark eyes were wider with worry. “I can get those.” He informed as he came around to the sink. 

“Actually can you watch the two boys while I take a shower?” I pleaded as I followed his movements. He nodded a few times. 

“Yeah, you go do that.” He patted my bicep and I followed him back into my bedroom. He went to the bed to watch my two baby boys while I went into the closet to pull out, yet another yukata. They certainly were much more convenient to wear. This one was navy blue and had red Uzumaki swirls adorned on it. Probably meant to be worn by a man, but I could care less honestly. I brought the yukata with me, along with a purple soft obi, into the bathroom. I took a quick shower and got dressed again. When I walked out of the bathroom I headed to what was now ‘my’ desk. I grabbed some paper, a pen, and a nearby kids book that was large and had a hard cover… Perfect for writing on. I took them into the bedroom and Tenzo quickly stood up off of the bed. “They just woke up.” He mentioned with a smile as he walked out of the room. “I’m going to miss them.” 

“It’s not like you won’t be coming to visit.” I remarked as I slid onto the bed. When I looked up at Tenzo as I sat up on the bed, he bore a half smile as he held his bicep. 

“Yeah but, not every day. They’ve grown on me.” He grew a full smile as he peeked over at them, trying to look behind my bent legs. 

“I really appreciate the help you’ve given us around here Tenzo.” I added with a small grin.

“You can stop thanking me. It’s not a big deal.” He waved me off before turning away and I chuckled while shaking my head. I rested the book on my knees and started to write the letter. 

> _Commander,_
> 
> _I will be away on matters at the order of Lord Hokage. In my absence I have instructed Tenzo to investigate and assess the current standing opinion of me taking over as the new Anbu commander. He has been instructed to use whatever language needed to gain the trust of those wary. In addition, I believe it best that you use the cover of having him ‘polish his skills’ that were rusty due to being on such a ‘mundane assignment’ for so long. I believe it will aid in the cover being created for this investigation._
> 
> _This will be crucial to determine what needs to be done to encourage a smooth transition. As it currently stands, I fear that I will need to take drastic measures in order to prove myself as a capable commander. I am fully prepared to do what is necessary. Any advice would be appreciated. Please facilitate this cover for Tenzo, and thank you for continuing to help with this lengthy transition process._
> 
> _Lady Kunoichi_

I folded up the letter and placed my insignia on it… A signature of sorts. I placed the pen, paper, and the letter onto the nightstand. The book I had been writing on had a drawing of the hidden mist village. It was probably the gift sent by the Mizukage. I rolled onto my side and looked at my two lovely boys… “Such good boys.” I cooed happily as I clawed playfully at Obito’s tummy. Obito squealed happily and Asuma watched Obito with wide eyes before he started to smile and kick at the air. I started to claw at Asuma’s tummy in the same way and he let out the choked up noises as I giggled. Soon enough they were both squealing excitedly, kicking their legs, waving their arms around. Such happy babies… I opened the book and started to read to them while showing them the pictures. The story was about a young boy and his little sister getting lost in the mist. They were able to get home safely after believing in themselves and conquering their fears. It was a cute story, and the illustrations were very caricaturesque with a certain whimsical quality to them. After the story I put down the book, changed them and laid with them again… Even drifting off…


	30. Just hurry it up, will ya?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:  
> “Alright, let’s head back.” Kakashi ordered as we both caught our breath. 
> 
> “Actually I’m going to head into town… I’m going to stop by and see Ino. I’m going to ask her to stop by and help out a bit while I’m gone.” I explained before he pressed his forehead to mine while he thumbed my cheek. He kissed my forehead to then breathe me into a kiss. 
> 
> “Thank you.” He murmured as he pulled me into an embrace. “Just come home in time for dinner.” He pleaded. I placed a kiss onto his cheek before I pulled away. 
> 
> “I’ll be home soon. I don’t think it’ll take that long. Now go.” I told him before I slapped his ass. “Don’t want Shikamaru yelling at you.” I teased as he chuckled while shaking his head. We waved at each other as we walked backwards while we went our separate ways… Trying to take in as much of each other before we left. 

_ I walked down the mountain with Naruto’s arm wrapped around me. I felt so emotional… I was going to get to see Kakashi after he just died… At least that’s what Konan explained would happen…  _ _ Should _ _ happen. My stomach was in knots in anticipation as we broke through the forest and into a clearing full of people who all rushed to pick up Naruto. My eyes scanned the crowd for my silver haired man, but I couldn’t see him. I opened my mind, but none of those inner voices sounded like his. My stomach knotted up even more and I started to play with my hair. Maybe he’s home… Waiting for me…  _

_ I rushed home, running as fast as my legs would take me, injuries be damned. Nothing I haven’t handled in the past. It wasn’t like the medical ninjustu didn’t help. I kept running. Running into the dip of the ground and all the way back out as I raced towards my street. One of the few streets left untouched by Pain. I kept running. Running. Running. Something didn’t feel right. Why am I here? I could see the tree from a distance, and when I saw what was underneath I stopped dead in my tracks. She shook her head violently.  _ **_No. It can’t be true._ ** _ She thought as tears started to stream from her eyes.  _ **_He can’t be dead. Konan said everyone gets revived. That includes him… That has to include him._ ** _ Their thoughts of desperation caused them to start running towards the lifeless body under the tree as they writhed in pain. Their trembling hand reached out to touch the rigid body that had already started to form blisters on the little skin that was exposed. They felt how cold the body was and flinched back in disbelief, before they broke down crying, yelling, bawling. Those sounds weren’t human. They were that of a mortally wounded animal. After a while they stopped crying with a suddenness as they straightened from having been folded in on themselves.  _ **_He’s just asleep…_ ** _ They thought, their mind decided to refuse to accept the reality before them, because what they were previously feeling was far too painful.  _

_ They reached out and grabbed onto both biceps of the lifeless man and began to shake. “Wake up! Kakashi, wake up!” They demanded not noticing how abnormally loose the skin felt on the deceased body. “Kakashi!” They screamed at the top of their lungs, as if the volume would make a difference. “Kakashi! Kakashi! Kakashi!”  _

“Kakashi!” I let out with a shriek at the top of my lungs as I sat up drenched in sweat. My breathing was labored and I tried my best to place myself as I studied my surroundings. Kakashi! I quickly turned to him as he was propping himself up onto his elbow. “Kakashi…” I whispered as I slid back down and clung to him, pressing my head onto his chest. He took a moment to realize what was happening before he laid onto his back and held me close to him. His fingertips brushed against my bicep and he placed a kiss onto the top of my head. I traced my fingertips along his chest and abdomen, trying to shudder the dream away. 

“Which one?” He wondered. 

“You were still dead after the pain attack.” I whispered again, my voice felt a little horse. There was a knock at the door. 

“Everything ok?” Tenzo asked from the otherside. 

“Just a nightmare.” Kakashi called out. 

“Ok. I’m going to go calm down the boys.” Tenzo announced. 

“Thanks.” Kakashi and I called out, though my voice cracked. 

“Just relax…” He cooed and I closed my eyes, but when I did all I could see was his lifeless body. My eyes flew open and my hand balled into a fist to rest on his chest. He readjusted again so that this time he was on his side and his forehead was pressed to mine. “I’m right here, and alive.” He placed his hand onto my cheek and I sobbed. The rush of emotions, from having been feeling like I held his lifeless, decomposing body and feeling so utterly broken from it, to being so full of joy that he was here and alive and we have a beautiful life… All the emotions boiled over and tears just started to stream down my face. He pushed my head into his neck and held me tight, rolling onto me to give me some weighted pressure, just the way he knew I liked… The way he knew I needed to be held to calm down. These things… They were second nature to us now. He liked to be rocked and/or stroked, I liked to be squished. So squished he did, all while cooing into my ear about how he was here, he wasn’t leaving, and how much he loved me. I clung to him. I clung to him so tightly for fear that if I didn’t he would crumble in my arms because he wasn’t real… or alive. But he was. I knew he was deep down, but that gnawing fear was still present for the moment, so he continued to hold me until it went away. 

He held me for a long time… Long enough for him to fall asleep before I did, which caused me to break down again as I shook him awake. I couldn’t help it. I tried to calm myself down as well, but we both knew all too well that it’ll pass when it passes. Eventually we both fell back asleep.

* * *

When I woke up again, Shiba was clawing at the bed, letting me know the twins were hungry. Right at sunrise, every single morning. My two little alarm clocks. Kakashi had sat up and was rubbing his eyes. “Go back to sleep.” I insisted as I placed my hand onto his thigh, to then place a kiss on his cheek. “I’ll take care of everything and I’ll wake you when Shikamaru comes in. You need sleep, I can come back and nap later.” I explained given how he had started to shake his head and his brows knitted. His shoulders slumped as he gave me a quick nod in acceptance and he mumbled a thank you before I went upstairs to take care of my two baby boys. Once I was done there, I started to make breakfast along with some matcha tea for Kakashi. By the time Shikamaru arrived, I was just finishing up making breakfast, so I went to go wake him up. Once we finished breakfast Kakashi went to work, and I climbed into the crib to nap with my two boys as I fell asleep to the sound of their cooing. 

I woke up to their cries, changed them, went back to sleep. Woke up to Kakashi reminding me that we needed to spar, so I went downstairs got dressed, and headed out with Kakashi at my side. We sparred for our usual amount of time, about an hour. 

“Alright, let’s head back.” Kakashi ordered as we both caught our breath. 

“Actually I’m going to head into town… I’m going to stop by and see Ino. I’m going to ask her to stop by and help out a bit while I’m gone.” I explained before he pressed his forehead to mine while he thumbed my cheek. He kissed my forehead to then breathe me into a kiss. 

“Thank you.” He murmured as he pulled me into an embrace. “Just come home in time for dinner.” He pleaded. I placed a kiss onto his cheek before I pulled away. 

“I’ll be home soon. I don’t think it’ll take that long. Now go.” I told him before I slapped his ass. “Don’t want Shikamaru yelling at you.” I teased as he chuckled while shaking his head. We waved at each other as we walked backwards while we went our separate ways… Trying to take in as much of each other before we left. 

When we parted ways I headed into town and felt my stomach growling. Make a pitstop for lunch… I really need to make sure I eat more. Ichiraku ramen was nearby so I stopped in there. After I ordered and the bowl was placed in front of me, a familiar face walked in. 

“Sneaky-sensei!” Naruto beamed with his closed eyed toothy grin. 

“Hi Naruto? Care to join me?” I offered with a smile. 

“Does that mean you’re buying?” He snickered as he sat down next to me. 

“Sure thing.” I patted him on the back before reaching for some chopsticks so I could start eating. 

“How’s Obito and Asuma?” Naruto asked after ordering his usual ramen. 

“They’re good… They’re getting so big!” I beamed while glancing over at Naruto who was smiling with ramen in his mouth, noodles hanging from his lips. “You should stop by sometime to see them! I’m sure they’d love some new faces and people to play with.” I mentioned off handedly before eating some more. 

“Kakashi has me so busy with missions lately, it’s hard to find some free time.” Naruto commented as he picked which noodles he was going to slurp next. His face was a little solemn, there were bags under his eyes… I’ll have to remind Kakashi to give these kids a break every once in a while. 

“Well you’re always welcome at our place, Naruto.” I squeezed his shoulder before finishing up my ramen. I shoved my hand into my pocket to summon up some money and paid for both of our ramens. “I’m going to head out. I have a few things I need to do today.” 

“Sneaky-sensei!” Naruto called out and I spun around on my heels, turning back to him. 

“Yes Naruto?” 

“Thanks for the ramen, and tell the rest of them I said hi!” He called out with a wave, so I waved back with a smile and made my way to Ino’s shop. There were kids running, playing in the street with the heat of summer rising with each passing day. I watched them gleefully as I thought about how that’d be Obito and Asuma one day. I opened the doors to Ino’s shop and my nose filled with the perfume of flowers. 

“Ino?” I called out to the seemingly empty shop, only to see Ino practically jump up from behind the counter. 

“Kessho-sensei!” Ino cried out as she rushed in to hug me. “It’s so good to see you out and about!” She chimed happily with a few flowers in her hand and the pruning scissors in the other. “What brings you here, anything in particular?” 

“Yes actually, I’ve come to ask you for a favor.” I started and she grew a concerned look on her face as her eyes darted around my face while she pulled back. “I’ll be setting out for a bit… I’m not sure how long and I can’t get into it, but I was hoping you could stop by while I’m away and check in with the kids. Help Kakashi out some since I’ll be gone.” I explained with a smile as I fiddled with my hair. 

“Oh! Yes of course! I’ve been dying to see them! I’ll make some time to stop by while you take care of things.” She nodded to both me and herself. “How are they?” 

“They’re happy. My big, happy boys…” I hummed happily thinking about them. “I really should be heading back to them.” I informed her as I started to make my way to the door. “I leave in two days. I owe you one Ino.” I smiled to her as I held onto the door handle. 

“But you only just got here!” She complained. 

“I know I just… I want to spend as much time with them as I can before I leave…” I whined as I backed out and she gave me a sympathetic smile. 

“Alright, don’t be a stranger!” She called out with a wave. I waved back and made my way home.

* * *

“Shikamaru, why don’t you stay for dinner? I’d like to play a game of shogi with you.” I told him as I watched him come down the stairs. 

“I really should be getting back home.” He answered with slight annoyance in his tone. Just barely noticeable… Something only a shinobi trained to see such subtle nuances would notice. 

“I insist.” I practically ordered as I set a fourth bowl of rice down at the table: one for me, one for Kakashi, one for Tenzo, and one for him. He took in a breath just slightly deeper than normal and let out the world's smallest sigh before admitting defeat and joining us at the table. 

“I saw Naruto today when I grabbed lunch at Ichiraku’s. He says hi.” I smiled as I elbowed Kakashi, on purpose this time. He looked up at me with a smile behind his mask that was up as he chewed. 

“How was he?” He wondered before taking another bite. 

“Tired. You need to give them a day or two of rest between missions, Kakashi.” I warned with narrowed eyes as I pointed my chopsticks at him. His eyes widened a smidge and he froze mid chew as he watched me closely. “I mean it. They might be young and spry, but they deserve a day off once in a while.” He gulped his food down his food as his eyes returned to normal.

“He never said anything…” He trailed off while looking down at his food with his eyes knitted. 

“Well of course not, he’s a soldier, Kakashi. They’re going to do what you tell them to do, but not everyone thrives with the back to back missions like that. It’s your job to know what the village needs AND what each soldier needs.” I emphasized and he placed his face into his hands with a groan. 

“It’s hard… To weigh it all.” He mumbled as I reached over with one of my hands and started massaging his shoulder. Maybe I could give him a massage tonight… He feels awfully tense. 

“I know, just try not to forget to give them a break once in a while… I know you’re trying your best.” I told him with a sympathetic smile. He finally peeked out at me from behind his hands and shot me a small smile. “We can talk more about it later if you’d like.” I offered him quietly. He nodded with his head resting on his left palm as he picked at his food, trying to decide what to take a bite of next. I lowered my left hand from his back down to his thigh to rub it before giving him a loving squeeze so I could then return to my eating. 

After some silence while we ate, Kakashi finally spoke: “The Mizukage said that the Anbu are on their way back now.” He watched my reaction closely, but my only response was to nod. Internally though I was trying to calculate whether I’d be able to make enough milk for them to use for two weeks while I’m away. I’ve already got six days worth, and they should arrive in three more days… It won’t be enough… I hope I manage to pump… I think I have a scroll that creates a sound barrier… I’ll have to do it while I watch from afar. “Did you see Ino?” He asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. I raised my brows and blinked a few times while I turned to him. 

“Yeah… She’s going to be stopping by some while I’m away.” I smiled at him lovingly which seemed to lift his sour mood just a bit. Admittedly it was me who turned his mood sour in the first place, but I’ll make it up to him later. 

“I’ll have to thank her.” He commented as I finished my food. I walked on my knees over to his side. 

“Can you please get these dishes, I need to play shogi with Shikamaru.” I whispered in his ear as I rested my forearms on his shoulder. He nodded and I placed a kiss onto his temple and tucked some of his messy hair behind his ear. “I’ll give you a massage later tonight.” I whispered before placing another kiss onto his temple and he let out a happy hum. I pushed down on his shoulder with my forearms to get up and I motioned for Shikamaru to get up as well as he just finished his food. “Come on, we can play shogi out on the porch.” I told him, and he slowly followed me out onto the porch, grabbing the portable shogi set along the way. I held out the front door open for him and closed it once he stepped outside. We both settled down at the table and two chairs out on the porch while Shikamaru set up the shogi board. We started playing for a while and after we were both a few moves in Shikamaru spoke.

“I know you don’t usually play shogi unless there’s something you want to talk about, or some other reason. Am I getting another lesson?” He asked with one brow raised. 

“I want to talk to you about Kakashi and I.” I started and he groaned a smidge. “I realize I inherently invited you into our relationship in a way when I asked you to be Kakashi and I’s tie breaker for missions, but that invitation wasn’t an open one.” I remarked in a steely tone as I slammed down a piece onto the table. 

“You’re his weakness. He’s extremely responsible as a hokage, but when it comes to you… He sets aside everything, even at the loss of the village.” He retorted as he slammed down a piece. 

“I realize it may look that way, but I assure you… He won’t let anything happen to the village, and he won’t risk breaking the peace. Not even for me.” I assured with a smug smile as I moved my next piece. 

“How can you be so smug and so wrong at the same time?” He questioned with his own smug smile as he moved his piece. 

“Because I’m not wrong. You see Shikamaru, there’s something more important than me now… Something that needs peace to be maintained. They’re upstairs.” I reminded with a much softer demeanor and a small smile as I dragged my next piece along. 

“You’re still his weakness.” He commented after his next move. 

“Yes, but not at the cost of peace.” I warned while moving my piece. 

“How can I be sure?” He asked after a sigh while making his next move. 

“He’s sending me, and me alone, to stop an entire insurrection in Kirigakure.” I spoke in hushed tones as I made my next move. He raised his brows while staring at the board before he went into his thinking pose. I knew all too well he wasn’t thinking deeply about the shogi game, but rather whether that would be enough for him to truly believe my words. “There’s people in their Anbu suspected of turning. That’s why they need someone from the outside. Nobody is supposed to know, this is all off books with the exception of the letter with the mission info that is being retrieved now. We are to burn it after it is read. I’m his weakness but I’m also his greatest strength.” I elaborated and when I uttered that last word, his eyes opened abruptly and rested on me. 

“I was always aware you were his greatest strength. Although now with what you’ve pointed out, I believe it to be Asuma and Obito… Rather… His family as a whole. I understand, but there’s still work that needs to get done that you-”

“That I will make sure he finishes later that night if he must. I assure you he will catch up with the paperwork that he needs to, even if I need to help keep him awake after you leave to do it!” I exclaimed as he moved his next piece and I quickly moved mine. 

“I’m supposed to just trust that with the way you two are?” He raised his brow as he slid his piece across the board. 

“Yes! I will not have you butting into my marriage any more than what I asked you to do!” I huffed as I slammed another piece down. 

“My job is to make sure the Hokage’s work gets done and to help him do it, if that means keeping him on track, then I will.” He insisted with a grumble as he made his next move.

“And my job as his wife is to make sure he takes a break when he needs to, even if it’s at the cost of staying up late to finish it later. He’s  _ the _ Hokage Shikamaru. He can decide for himself and you need to let him. If  _ I’m _ his weakness then that’s also something he needs to figure out for himself and you need to let him, or rather us, learn how to work with it! Without  **you** .” I fumed as I moved my piece, sliding it over a single square as I gritted my teeth. He folded his arms against his chest while hunched over as he looked to the side while clicking his tongue. “I’m not going away any time soon Shikamaru. Let us handle it.” I demanded as I folded my arms under my chest to match and he turned to glare at me. 

“Just hurry it up, will ya?” He groaned before he moved his next piece. I tried my best to continue to pout as I held back my smile, but even still he saw through my attempt and smirked. 

“You need a girlfriend. Maybe then you’ll leave us alone some.” I told him with a chuckle as I made my move. He scoffed as he made his move. “Anyone you interested in?” I asked while raising my brow as I slid my piece across the board. 

“With what time?” He huffed with his cheeks turning pink while he moved his shogi piece as he looked away.

“Who is she?” I asked with a sly smile growing while I continued to play. Shikamaru just clicked his tongue and shrugged while he made his move. 

“I won.” He announced, so I took a good look at the board. 

“How many moves ago could you have won?” I wondered. 

“Right about when you interrupted me.” He smirked as he started picking up the pieces. 

“Thanks for letting us finish speaking before you annihilated me.” I joked as I helped him pick up. “You should get Ino and Choji for a BBQ dinner when I get back.” I suggested whilst getting up and he smiled with a nod. 

“Sounds like fun.” 


	31. Only ever mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:  
> Kakashi tucked away some baby hairs only to flinch back and pull his finger into his mouth. He scrunched his face as he sucked on the side of his forefinger, trying to stop the bleeding from having pricked his finger with one of my senbon. “They’re not laced with poison, are they?” He wondered with a grumble. I chuckled and shook my head before running my fingers through his hair to push it out of his face. 
> 
> “No…” I assured before I pulled him into a kiss. The kiss was desperate and longing. It initially started out quick, and messy but as it slowed, our lips continued to linger near each other until they were mere gentle brushes. Finally we stopped with our lips only far enough a part to fit a single strand of hair in between. I refused to open my eyes, for fear of the moment being over. 

Kakashi tucked away some baby hairs only to flinch back and pull his finger into his mouth. He scrunched his face as he sucked on the side of his forefinger, trying to stop the bleeding from having pricked his finger with one of my senbon. “They’re not laced with poison, are they?” He wondered with a grumble. I chuckled and shook my head before running my fingers through his hair to push it out of his face. 

“No…” I assured before I pulled him into a kiss. The kiss was desperate and longing. It initially started out quick, and messy but as it slowed, our lips continued to linger near each other until they were mere gentle brushes. Finally we stopped with our lips only far enough a part to fit a single strand of hair in between. I refused to open my eyes, for fear of the moment being over. 

“You need to go.” He breathed against my lips as his hand reached into the hair from my tightly wound bun. As hokage he was ordering me to leave, but as my husband… He was begging me to stay. His forehead pressed to mine and I could feel his lips pull away and inch closer repetitively as his hand tensed up, debating whether another kiss would make this any easier, or if it would just make things more difficult. His brows furrowed and I decided that I needed to be the strong one, so I turned my face away as I closed my eyes tighter and clutched onto his wrist. 

“Ok.” I whispered as I finally opened my eyes again, officially declaring the moment to be over. His hands receded as he stumbled back onto the edge of the bed. Both of us trying to create some distance between each other because without it… Neither of us would ever leave. 

“You come back as much as you need… As much as you can allow. If you can’t, please send me something. Something to let me know you’re ok.” His voice started off strong and firm, but by the end he was begging and reaching out to hold my fingertips. I nodded to him knowing that this was something I could do. The flying raijin technique would make it easy enough. I thank my lucky stars, to Minato, for showing me that one. “Don’t worry about interrupting me. I don’t care if you’re in a meeting, you come by at any point, it doesn’t matter. Don’t drag this out any longer than you need to, and don’t come home too quickly just because you miss them.” He warned having regained some of his confidence back. I scoffed with a smile.

“You’d think I’d never been on a mission before.” I joked and he smiled before furrowing his brows and turning serious once again. 

“I know it’s just…” He started to rub the back of his neck as he looked down into his lap. “This will be the first time you go on a mission since… Well the first time on an  _ official _ mission-” He stopped when I started to chuckle and he looked up at me with his mouth slightly agape and his brows raised. His lips morphed into a smile before he looked back to his lap and shook his head. 

“I’ll be ok. It’s just reconnaissance.” I assured him as my fingertips left his hand and I raised my mask. 

“Still. I’ll miss you.” He whined quietly. I almost felt guilty for loving his whines. It’s only ever something he does when he’s feeling particularly vulnerable. Apart from his playful whines of course. Part of me wanted to pull him into an embrace to soothe him, but a greater part knew that I couldn’t. I’d never leave if I did. 

“You can’t miss me if I never leave.” I warned with some lightness in my tone as I put my hood up. He glanced up at me and half smiled. 

“Don’t leave.” He joked as his grin grew wide. 

“Don’t say that. Not even as a joke, please.” I whined myself now as I summoned my owl mask. 

“Sorry.” He whispered as I put on the owl mask. “Take it off for a second.” He pleaded, so I obliged. “I love you, Kessho.” 

“I love you too, Kakashi.” I smiled lovingly behind my mask before putting the owl mask on and then flickering off into the night, making my way to Kirigakure.

* * *

I started my way to the wall that encompassed Konoha, without my feet making a sound despite running on the ground. The gentle breeze of the night was brushing away at my bare limbs as I continued to run. Running up the wall with my feet now lined with chakra as I did the hand signs that worked as the password to pass through the barrier undetected. Jumping off the wall and to a nearby tree to then start jumping from branch to branch. The further away I got the more I felt like the true core of my being. The further I got from Konoha, the happier I felt. Not because I wanted to be away from my family, no, but because I was living in the now. The presence of the mission. Immersing myself into it. Freeing myself from all other ties so I could feel nothing else but this moment and the target that lies ahead. 

I stopped once I got to our spot, to take a quick dip in the water. Once I got out I tumbled and rolled onto the grass. I stayed on my back for a moment as I took it in. I’m free. It’s just me, and the mission now. I’m allowed to do whatever needs to be done. Take whatever precautious necessary. I was free. Free from every responsibility and burden (even if they were things/people I loved). It’s like a vacation from myself, from my life, living the life of someone else. My favorite thing… 

I found myself staring at the moon and the stars. Stars… I wonder which one Kakashi would be. Maybe that reddish one over there… no… He’d be a blue one. I remember reading they burn brighter long ago… That blue one… That’s him. I sat up with a jolt and looked around at our spot. It’s been a while since we’ve been here. I’ll have to come here with my boys once the babies are old enough. 

I took in my own scent while sniffing my arm. Not enough… I can still smell the lavender, although faint… Laying back down onto the grass, I rolled around some more. Rubbed my limbs around in the grass. Took off my owl mask, lowered my skin tight mask, and slathered some grass blades onto my face. I found myself kicking my heels against the ground while giggling to myself. I was absolutely elated. Once I was finally content with my concealment, I started to run. 

Run as fast as I could, and as quietly as I could. Make it a game. Teetering on the edge of sacrificing speed for concealment and vice versa. Running. Running away from everything. From everything that makes me human… But I’m ok with not being human right now. 

It's oddly enticing, the feeling of not being human. There's almost a sense of animalistic qualities, danger, an enticing sense of autonomy… An air of hunger for life… Because that's what you feed on when you're not human. Anything that keeps you alive. If you're good enough at it, you start to feel invincible. Feeling human, you don't feel akin to nature. Sure you're a part of the food chain, but you're not  _ a part of it.  _ Here you have to be. You live on your survival instincts alone. Kill or be killed. Live or die. Love… that doesn't exist here. Only existence does. 

Now… to survive I was… No. I'm not surviving right now. Right now I'm hunting. I'm the predator and my target is the prey. They're just a doe eyed deer while I'm dauntless in the night. The bloodlust is dripping from my teeth and I can practically taste the vein pulsating on their neck even though I'm still days of travel away. Even with being days of travel I still found myself licking my lips. But I'll have to wait. Wait patiently for the opportunity to stalk my prey. 

The moonlight reflected on my skin as I allowed myself the risk of taking off my owl mask to feel parts of the wind on my face as I moved. As I danced amongst the trees. As I flew amongst the branches. I relished in all of these feelings. The feelings of barely being human. Of  _ not  _ being human. 

Sunlight. Sunlight from the sunrise… I placed my owl mask back onto my face. The warmth… I loved the warmth against my skin, but with the warmth came more potential for discovery. The mask must go back on. The golden hues glistened on the leaves and branches. Kakashi was right, it truly was the best light for photos. The warmth of the midday sun on my skin… it felt akin to that of an embrace from Kakashi, or hearing Obito's and Asuma's happy squeals. I shook my head. These thoughts are too…  _ human _ . 

The sun setting. There's that golden hue again. Running. Still running. But my legs didn't give out yet. That's how long I want to run. Until they give out. That's what I need. That's what my legs are telling me they need. 

Moonlight again. Has it been that long already? My legs… My thighs… They're twitching. I suppose maybe it's time to stop. So I stopped. Stopped dead. Dead in my tracks. Invisible tracks. I plopped back down to the ground and stared at the moon. It's so much brighter now. Far away from all the lights of Konoha with only the light from it filling my vision. The moon and the stars. There's Kakashi's star. I have to write to him. He's probably starting to worry now. I'll allow myself to be human in this moment. 

I teleported a pen, paper, and a book to write on top of… Icha Icha Violence. After sitting up, I started to write, with the moon being the light, and my inspiration.

> _ My dearest star, _
> 
> _ Remember when we used to write love letters to each other? I do. We should sit down with them one of these days and go through them. Remind ourselves of how we fell in love. The first time. We keep falling in love with each other. Everytime we fall in love more sweetly than the last, and I'll keep doing it over and over with you.  _
> 
> _ These feelings… They’re so stereotypically human. I must sound disgusted when you read this. There’s a small part of me… The Anbu part… That is somewhat disgusted. Small part. That used to be such a big part of me. Now it’s small. I want you to know that I’m smiling at that. The things you do to me Kakashi… You’re the reason that’s small now. I love you all the more for it.  _
> 
> _ I found you up in the sky. There’s a star that I found… I’m peeking up at it as I’m writing. That star is you. The best part is you get to follow me now, watch over me at night. The star flickers with such fire. It’s blue. I think the blue ones burn brighter. You’re probably thinking how unlike you that sounds, but to me it sounds just like you. Your love Kakashi… It burns brighter than anything I’ve ever known. You’re just so dedicated… I’m so thankful for that. I know I can be a lot at times, but maybe it’s to show off that dedication? I hope that made you laugh.  _
> 
> _ I’m sorry I didn’t write sooner. I got caught up running. I feel so… Alive right now. I ran until my legs gave out. They’re still pulsating. I don’t mean to worry you, please don’t. I’m ok. Excited in fact, though you probably guessed as much. There’s just so much… Vibrancy in the way I see things when I’m like this. I feel so alive. Because I have to. Because there’s that fight or flight instinct kicking in when we’re like this. If we don’t fight to stay alive then… We die. I won’t die. Especially not on this mission. But even still I’m sure you know what I’m trying to say.  _
> 
> _ I’m going to read a little before I sleep. There’s something about sleeping on the ground in the moonlight… I feel so feral. But it’s that ferrility that will complete this. That makes me perfect for this. Maybe that’s why they made the Anbu masks animals… Because that’s what we become when we wear them… Losing all humanity, to become subhuman, to complete tasks that can’t be done by a human.  _
> 
> _ I’m allowing myself to be human as I write to you. You make me human. I love you, Kakashi. I love you. I love you. I love you.  _
> 
> _ All of my love, _
> 
> _ Kessho _
> 
> _ P.S. Maybe not all of it anymore. Kiss my two boys goodnight for me. Press your forehead to theirs for me. Love them for me while I’m away. Thank you for giving me a family. For giving, no, providing me with more love than what I know to do with.  _

I folded the letter and sent it straight into his hand before teleporting away the pen and resting back on the ground to start reading Icha Icha violence. This is Kakashi’s copy… Oops. I opened the page to where he marked and started to read. 

> _ A woman who looked beaten and battered, yet was somehow still painstakingly beautiful walked into the bar and took a seat at the stool two down from mine. Her eyes looked glazed over as she ordered a bottle of sake and she wiped a smear of blood off of her chin. She stared at her thumb where the blood was, almost like she was annoyed by its lingering presence. I knew then that that wasn’t the first time she had wiped blood off of her face. She rested her head onto her palm as she observed the bar while I continued to observe her. She has to be a shinobi… Or a mercenary… She’s not wearing any insignia from any villages. The flickering bar lights danced on her delicately soft skin as she continued to stare at the blood before her until she licked it off with her plump lips blanketed around her thumb. Her eyes drifted on me as she caught my stares and her hair draped around her arm as she turned her head. ‘If you’re going to keep staring, you’re paying for my sake.’ She announced as the bartender placed the bottle in front of her. It was her turn to stare at me it seemed as she took a shot of the sake without ever taking her eyes off of me. I decided to take her in the way she was me, really eyeing her this time. She was voluptuous, but you could see there were muscles underneath, especially with thighs and calves as thick as those. Her hair was golden in color, like the hue that would glisten off of the sky at sunrise. Her eyes were dark… And eyes being windows to the soul… It was just as dark in there. She was broken, nothing but a beautiful shell of who she could’ve been.  _

I let my fingers trace over the notes he wrote after I told him that Jiraiya said I inspired this character. How he underlined the word beautiful that was next to the word shell. How he added that my hair was like satin. 

> _ She recrossed her legs as she turned to me, letting the loosely tied yukata expose part of her thigh. Her face still rested on her palm as she looked bored as all hell before she flung back another shot of sake. Her yukata slid up as she slithered off of the wooden stool. Her hips swayed as she walked towards me with an air of swagger to her. Her eyes still half lidded with her chin raised slightly as she licked the rest of the blood of her lips. Those luscious lips… She started to walk past me to then turn on her heel with her… endowed chest pressed to my back while her breath titillated my neck as I felt it creep up to my ear. “Don’t look at me that way. I don’t think you’d be able to handle me.” She purred before she pressed her lips to my outer shell so I could feel the devious grin that played on those lips I couldn’t stop thinking about. The ones I knew I had to kiss.  _

‘ **NOT** joking about being able to handle her.’ I giggled at his note. ‘But  **VERY** worth it.’ I pressed the open book to my chest as I let out a loving sigh and looked up at my star. It was mine. Only ever mine. 


	32. I. Need. To. Leave.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:
> 
> “They just ate though.” He placed his arms around my upper chest and squeezed as he kissed my cheek again. Disappointing… “They’re probably asleep too, so you’ll have to be quiet.” I nodded as I slipped out of his grasp. I placed my hand on his bicep and traced it down to his forearm, further down to clasp his hand in mine as I pulled him to follow me as he raised his mask. We walked down the hall to their bedroom, and they were indeed sleeping soundly. Or rather, soundlessly. I lowered the crib gate and carefully got into the crib, ensuring to not disturb my two precious babes. I felt Kakashi crouch down behind me and he rested his chin on the dip of my waist. I watched the gentle rise and fall of their tiny chests. Such a soothing rhythm… “Kessho!” Kakashi whisper shouted as he shook me. I must’ve drifted off… I sat up slowly as I rubbed my eye. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***TW***
> 
> There's some dubcon/noncon in here. It doesn't get too graphic in the sense that it doesn't get very far. Also I'm a dumbass for not thinking to label this sooner. Sorry.

Mundane. Boring. Monotonous. Tedious. Humdrum. All these were words that described my watching the Mizukage for the past two days, being away from my family for nearly a week now. Everyone that’s been in to visit her showed no indication of having ulterior motives. I’m going to need to delve in deeper. Stray away from the Mizukage if I’m going to find out anything about anyone. Sure I had the patience to remain in this state of limbo as long as needed… Doesn’t mean I enjoyed it or that it was a good use of time. I flickered outside of the Kage residence and hung onto a nearby tree that had the perfect view of the Mizukage’s office. First thing’s first: I planted my insignia onto a thin, snappable branch. Then, I summoned the invisibility scroll and wrapped it around the branch before summoning Kiki. I released my camouflage jutsu and hand signaled for Kiki to stay, while also adding a hand signal to watch the Mizukage specifically. I handed Kiki a stray strand of the Mizuage’s hair, which she sniffed to take in her scent and let her know who exactly she was watching. Once Kiki stood attention in the direction of the window looking into the Mizukage’s office, I used the flying raijin to teleport back home to Kakashi. 

He grabbed my arm with one hand as he stood up, placed his other hand behind the top of my back, and slammed my face onto his desk. Once he realized, he quickly let go and I groaned with my chest having been flattened on the table. I started to straighten up and he quickly spun me around, brushed the owl mask off of my face and cupped my cheeks in his hands. I stared, wide eyed, as I tried to back my face away from his as I stood in place. His eyes were studying my face as he held me.

“I’m fine.” I muttered as I tried to get his hands to lower. 

“It’s good to know you’re ok.” Shikamaru mentioned from behind. “I’ll give you two a moment.” He mentioned and after a moment I heard the door close behind me. One of Kakashi’s hands flew to the back of my neck to pull me into a masked kiss while the other flew to my thigh. He gripped onto my thigh and lifted while pushing his body onto mine to push me to sit up onto his desk. He continued to press his masked lips onto mine and kissed me in a way that made me wonder if he realized his mask was even still up. I wrapped one hand around his neck and used the other to pull down his mask. He pressed his forehead to mine as he pulled my mask down in a way that was so achingly slow. His lips leaned in again, but this time they didn’t touch mine. I could feel his hot breath tickling my lips as he brushed his thumb between our bottom lips. He kissed me again, this time with much less haste in his motions. His hand settled onto my upper outer thigh once again while I tugged at his shirt. He helped me take it off and my fingers began to trace down his chest, to then sink behind the hem of his pants. I pulled the hem of his pants, causing him to move forward and into a kiss. His lips melted against mine as his hand caressed my cheek before he started to nose his way to my ear.

I felt his lips part, but no words came out. Instead he pulled me into a warm embrace. I clawed at his back as he tightened his hold on me. I dragged my lip along his jaw and up to his ear. I too wanted to speak. I wanted to tell him how much I missed him even though I was only gone for four days so far. Sure we had been apart for much much longer, but never as husband and wife, not as parents, and not after having been consistently together for so long. I wanted to tell him how I needed him, how I wanted him to hold me, how I wanted to feel him around me. Mostly, I wanted to tell him how much I loved him and how I wanted to make love to him. Instead, I nuzzled my face into his neck. He started to encroach me as he laid me back, pushing papers out of the way, not caring as they fell to the ground. We each quickly got undressed before he started to climb up onto the desk himself. 

His weight pressed onto me, just the way I liked it as he started to press soft kisses onto my neck. I wrapped my legs around his hips to press himself further into me and I could feel his hardened girth pressing up against my slit. He took in my scent as I nibbled at his ear and one of my hands entangled itself into his hair. My hips rolled upwards and I could feel his length rub between my folds. He took my free hand and intertwined his fingers with mine holding himself up with our interlocked hands resting by my face. His eyes darted between mine and the look on his face spoke all the words that had gone unspoken between us. Those deep dark eyes that used to be soulless and glazed over, were now filled with such love, fire, and devotion. The smallest, and yet most meaningful, of smiles graced those perfect lips as they grew closer to graze against mine. I whimpered against his touch as I melded into him. We both knew that we wouldn’t be able to take our time with this, and I needed him. His hand moved towards his length and he slowly inched himself into me. I arched my back and groaned at the feeling of always being stretched by him. I hugged him into me tightly as his hand now went to reach under my arched back gripping onto me while his hand continued to squeeze mine. He nosed his way into the crook of my neck as he started up a slow, rhythmic pace. My lower lip dragged along his neck as he moved for each thrust. 

His moans stifled against my skin as I clenched my walls down around him. While I was gripping onto his length tightly he pulled his head away to face me. His brows furrowed and mouth agape as he slowly slid out of me to then thrust forcefully back into me with a grunt. My hand gripped onto his as my toes curled and I cried out in pleasure. His pace quickened as I felt his chest up against mine. I nipped at his neck and sucked onto his skin, leaving my mark… A reminder of my presence. One that would linger even after I leave again. I clung around over his neck and gripped at his shoulder as he peppered kisses along my jaw. 

His kisses stifled his moans as my legs gripped tightly around him. I let my lower lip drag along his skin from his neck to his ear where I started nibbling again. He picked up his pace again to bite down hard onto my shoulder. My barely there nails dug into his shoulder as I mewled into his ear, but the noises I made only fueled him more as his pace quickened yet again. I clenched my walls around his thickness again and his teeth tightened their grip as he muffled a groan. I could feel some blood start to trickle down my shoulder towards my back, but I didn’t care. I felt myself start to get close as my muscles began to tighten. His grip on my shoulder came undone as he pressed his forehead to mine. His eyes darted between mine and I felt his hand about to leave mine, but I gripped onto it tightly while I just barely shook my head. His head only just narrowly moved in the form of a nod as he squeezed my hand before reaching down to kiss my lips. 

He tugged at my lower lip with his teeth as his pace started to grow erratic. My hips bucked to try to match his nonexistent rhythm while I whined as I tried to reach my release. My walls started to pulsate around his length as I pressed my forehead to his and released his shoulder to start smoothing his hair back. His face buried into my neck as he reached his high and I whispered I love yous into his ear. We let go of each other's hand and his went to cradle the back of my head as he peppered kisses along my neck mumbling I love yous in between. 

He pushed down at my shoulders while shifting his arm lower to cradle me into his arms as he carried me to the couch in his office with him quickly joining behind me. I curled into his spooning position with my large breasts hanging over the edge as we melded into the couch as best we could. “Update me.” He pleaded with a whisper into my ear as I clutched our clasped hand to press against my chest.

“So… Boring.” I mentioned off handedly. He chuckled behind me with his breath tickling my neck. 

“I thought you wanted to go out on missions?” He teased while nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck. 

“I do.” I whined. “I just need to restrategize.” I explained.

“Any ideas?” He questioned and I felt his breath start to trace back up my neck. 

“Bar.” I answered simply.

“You really think you’ll find intel there?” He wondered. 

“Everyone likes to drink. Even those planning a coup d'etat.” I shrugged. 

“Just be careful, and watch your liquor.” He warned before placing a kiss onto my cheek. 

“I know how to handle myself.” I assured as I let go of his hand so I could sit up.

“I never said you didn’t.” He pointed out as I got up from the couch. I walked over to my uniform and put it on. “Are you leaving already?” He questioned quickly with slight sadness in his tone. 

“No, I do need to leave soon though. I just want to see my two boys.” I informed as he sat up. He nodded and started to get dressed himself. 

“They just ate though.” He placed his arms around my upper chest and squeezed as he kissed my cheek again. Disappointing… “They’re probably asleep too, so you’ll have to be quiet.” I nodded as I slipped out of his grasp. I placed my hand on his bicep and traced it down to his forearm, further down to clasp his hand in mine as I pulled him to follow me as he raised his mask. We walked down the hall to their bedroom, and they were indeed sleeping soundly. Or rather, soundlessly. I lowered the crib gate and carefully got into the crib, ensuring to not disturb my two precious babes. I felt Kakashi crouch down behind me and he rested his chin on the dip of my waist. I watched the gentle rise and fall of their tiny chests. Such a soothing rhythm… “Kessho!” Kakashi whisper shouted as he shook me. I must’ve drifted off… I sat up slowly as I rubbed my eye. 

“How long?” I whispered back.

“Just a minute.” He mumbled as rubbed my back. I slid out of the crib and raised the gate before reaching for the pump. I took my top off as I sat onto the rocking chair while Kakashi rested his chin on his forearms and his forearms onto my thighs. After I set everything up I ran my fingers through his hair to start massaging his scalp. He hummed happily as he closed his eyes that had dark circles under them. “You haven’t been sleeping.” I remarked with a whisper. He opened his eyes and peeked up at me, hesitating whether he should say something. Always trying to keep me from worrying… “Out with it.” 

“Nightmares.” He answered before closing his eyes again. My poor silver haired man… Between the twins who were probably extra fussy, and the nightmares… He probably wasn’t getting any sleep. I threaded my other hand into his hair to continue with the scalp massage. We stayed like this until the pump was done. I detached and put everything away as Kakashi placed caps onto the milk. 

“I need to leave.” I announced with another whisper. We both stood up as he nodded. I clutched onto his arm as we walked back to his office. I let go of his arm and he placed his hands onto my hips as I grabbed onto my mask. He pressed himself against my back as I once again felt his breath tickle my neck. His fingers sunk into my clothed skin as I felt his breath move to my ear as I moved to put on my mask. 

“Wait.” He whispered with his lips brushing up against my outer shell. I placed my mask back down on the desk, closed my eyes, and craned my neck away from his lips. 

“I need to leave.” I repeated as I gripped tighter onto the owl mask. His hands gripped tighter onto me as I felt his lips hover, just barely above the skin of my cheek. Instead I opted to pull up my skin tight mask but his hand snapped to wrap around my wrist. “Kakashi…” His name, just a mere exhale escaping my lips. He whipped me around with a jolt, let go of my wrist to cup my cheek and pull me into a kiss. I instinctively bucked my hips forward into him but left my hand behind me and at my side, as I knew that if I clung to him it would be that much harder to let go. We parted the the kiss and his finger traced my lower lip.

“Kessho… Please.” He pleaded as his other hand moved from my hip to the small of my back to press himself into me even further. He wanted my touch… His brows were scarcely furrowed and his lips were hardly parted with the corners of his mouth turned downwards. Against my better judgement I placed my hands onto his shoulders and jumped up, wrapping my legs around his hips. His lips crashed into mine as his hand moved to grip tightly onto my thigh with his other gripping onto the back of my neck. 

“Kakashi. I. Need. To. Leave.” I managed to murmur between kisses. He placed me onto his desk and I released my legs from around him. I let my hands rest on his hips as he cupped my face in his hands and pressed his forehead to mine. 

“I love you.” We both whispered at the same time as my hands drifted to his wrists. I thumbed the back of his palms as we stared into each other's eyes, not quite ready to break free from the moment. It was him this time to break us as he slowly raised my skintight mask. 

“Stay safe.” He pleaded as he delicately pulled up my hood with his nimble fingers. I simply nodded as he reached behind me for my owl mask, which he then gently placed onto my face. His hands traced along my thighs as he took a step back and I took that as his signal to head back to Kirigakure. 

* * *

I found myself in the tree again with Kiki watching into the window. I grabbed the branch with my insignia, broke it off, and burned it to ashes in my hand. “Did you see anything suspicious?” I questioned but she didn’t respond. Likely no movement then. I sent her away and she flickered off. I then used my camouflage jutsu, dispersed my chakra, and started to unwrap the scroll to then send it away. I went deeper into the forest and hid away as I summoned a skin tight black strapless dress. I teleported my uniform and mask away before putting on the dress. To top everything off, I started up a transformation jutsu to hide my tattoos amongst other changes. My skin turned to porcelain, smoothing over all my scars. Hair that was once gold and straight now turned somewhat tangerine with waves. Eyes that were a deep dark brown were now teal. Makeup that accentuated my new heart shaped face. The only thing I kept were my curves which never failed me before. I teleported black strappy heels and changed into those before hopping up into a tree to escape the forest. 

Once I made my way into town, I snuck into an alley and opened my mind to make sure nobody nearby was paying attention. After confirming, I released the invisibility and chakra dispersal jutsu. I fluffed up my hair after making sure that I didn't have any stray leaves in it and made my way out of the alley. The street was bustling and lively, music could be heard coming from a few different directions. I started to scan the streets looking for anyone with a hidden mist headband. Soon enough I found one. It was a woman, she was average height, square face, ash blonde hair with blue eyes, and most importantly: a shinobi headband of the hidden mist. 

“Excuse me, do you know in which one of these bars I might be able to some… Strong, shinobi men?” I questioned with an innocent smile. She rolled her eyes and sighed. 

“Go to Kikko.” She spoke curtly as she pointed to a bar just further up ahead. 

“Thank you!” I squealed as I ran off giddily. The bar had poor lighting, much like all bars did. There were shinobi and civilians alike, but there was one round table in particular that had about five men, all shinobi in uniform drinking. Perfect. I walked up to the bar and ordered a chuhai while subtly teleporting some money as I reached under the hem of my dress. I paid the bartender and grabbed my drink which caused a clink sound as my wedding ring hit the glass. I placed the drink back down onto the bar and took off my wedding ring. I held it up between my forefinger and thumb as I looked down at the silver heart infinity. With my pinky, I carefully placed my insignia next to Kakashi’s engraved name before teleporting it into his hand. After taking a swig of my drink, I headed over to the table with the five shinobi men. 

I wedged my way between two of them, placed my drink onto the table, and leaned in with my arms underneath my chest to accentuate my cleavage. “Which one of you, tough… Rugged… Robust…” I trailed off for a moment as I eyed the men while biting onto the corner of my lower lip. My mouth turned into a devious grin as I lifted up my chin. “Strapping shinobi is going to take me home tonight?” I questioned playfully. A couple of the men were slack jawed, another couple we mumbling amongst themselves and another one smirked while taking a sip of his drink. I decided to take a sip of my own drink to then trace my fingertip around the rim of the glass as I waited for them to move past their initial shock. 

“I think the better question would be which one of us you would like to go home with, miss…?” The one who was taking a drink spoke. He had a scar on his cheek, bright red eyes, and silver hair that was just a shade or two darker than Kakashi’s. 

“Maruyama Kohana.” I replied while thinking about Kakashi to turn my cheeks a slight pink. I rested my head in my palm as I looked around the table. “I’m not sure… You’re all…” I trailed off as I used my index and middle fingers as legs climbing the bicep of the man next to me. “So very attractive.” I hummed happily as my fingers finished their trek. “I would love to hear stories though!” I smiled as I turned back towards the table. “The life of a shinobi seems so fascinating, and daring. You’re all so brave!” I started pretending to be fawning over them in a dreamy way and soon enough they started telling me stories. All of the men were competing against each other, trying to make out who was the bravest. All of them except the one with red eyes… He was watching me cautiously and yet… Continued to dawn a smirk that made the hair on my arms standup. I kept my mind open trying to listen into their thoughts, monitoring anything and everything that could give away indication of a coup d’etat. “What about you?” I purred while nosing towards the man with the bright red eyes. “Not interested in me, are you?” I teased while I smouldered. 

“Oh I’m interested…” He replied playfully as he hid his lips behind the rim of the glass. “Just not the way you think.” He mentioned before taking a sip of his drink with narrowed eyes. Those same eyes flickered something dark within them, but he still smirked despite the darkness I could sense within him. I looked down to my drink as I bit my lip. 

“Would you come with me to get another?” I pleaded while trying to be coy. If he’s suspicious of me, he won’t hesitate to get me alone. He nodded and we both headed to the bar where I ordered another drink. “How did you get this?” I questioned with a slow, alluring tone as I delicately traced the scar on his cheek. He scowled and I quickly retracted my finger. “Sorry.” I murmured as I held onto my bicep, subtly squeezing my chest as I looked down to my feet. He placed a hand onto my cheek and ran his fingers through my hair. 

“It’s ok.” He mumbled as he nosed his way to my lips to just stop only a mere centimeter away from them. “It was from the war… But you already knew that, didn’t you?” He questioned with a smirk growing on his face. I blinked a few times and shook my head as I backed away from him. I furrowed my brows to feign confusion but I knew exactly what was going on. He was trying to interrogate me. He was trying to use his own methods of seduction to gather intel. This has to be my favorite part during intelligence gathering. This delicate little dance of trying to interrogate each other without ever giving away any of your own intel. If you’re good enough like me, you don’t even give away that you’re actually interrogating them despite their suspicions. 

“W-why would I know that?” I stuttered as my eyes darted around his face as if the answer was written somewhere on it. He placed a hand on my chin and traced my bottom lip. 

“I know what you’re doing. Asking about war stories.” He spoke in a playful low tone before placing a peck onto my lips. I stood still in shock as I continued to feign confusion. “I’ve never seen you around before…” He purred while nosing his way to my ear. “They warned us this would happen.” Perfect. My new target. I pushed him back at his shoulders to then slap him across his cheek. 

“What are you even insinuating?!” I scoffed to then pout with my arms folded under my chest as I turned away to look towards the bar. His mind went to recall this ‘warning’ he had been given. The person who gave it to him was a man maybe a little bit older than Mei. He was missing a hand, had long, black, silken hair and bright purple eyes. That man was probably the leader… This is good intel. The man before me furrowed his brows as he clutched his cheek where I hit him. His mouth parted and he looked down as he went into thought. Just another moment and he’ll be wrapped around my finger. 

“I’m sorry.” He was practically begging for forgiveness as he placed a hand onto my hip. “I’ve been a little suspicious ever since the war.” He explained while placing his other hand onto my cheek and thumbing it. I let my arms fall to my side and barely parted my lips as I let my eyes wander on his face. 

“You poor thing.” I murmured as I placed a hand onto his cheek and let my thumb trace over it. “I’d like to hear about it if you’ll tell me…” I whispered into his ear. As I pulled away I let my lips graze his other cheek to then gently press against his lips. When we parted his eyes locked onto my lips and he started to tell me about how he fought in the third battalion. Kakashi’s battalion. He fought against one of the seven swordsmen and lost a few comrades in battle, one being his best friend. There was plenty to be angry over, which just further confirmed this man would be my new target. I listened attentively as I smoothed over that silver hair. We both ended up sitting down together at the bar and I listened to him as he continued to drink while he voiced his frustrations. I feigned buying into the whole ideology that was being presented before me which was the same found in the report sent by the Mizukage. The ideology boiled down to this: if they still worked in the ways of the blood mist, their shinobi would be much stronger and they would have lost less people in the war. That might be true, but they would’ve lost people before the war, so is it really fair to say that way was better? Of course I couldn’t present this flaw in his logic to him as he started slurring his words, no… I simply listened and enthusiastically agreed while nursing my third, low in alcohol, drink while still pretending to be drunker than he was. I placed my hand on his inner thigh and slowly moved it up as I kissed him. When I pulled back I then nosed my way to his ear. “Can we go to your place?” I slurred with a giggle in his ear. 

“So eager…” His words caused me to flinch back for a moment, only to hastily try and recover. The familiarity in his words made my skin crawl… I need to recover and mentally take a step back. So she quickly recovered as she bit her lip with a nod. He grinned deviously as he stared at her lips while his thumb traced her bottom one. “We can go. Come.” He stood up and clasped onto her hand, tugging at it as he led her out of the bar after they paid their tabs. His pace was quick, though he stumbled on occasion as he led her towards some apartment complexes. They stopped in front of a taller building as the nightly fog caressed her bare legs and arms. He led her up the stairs, all the way to the fifth floor before finally leading down the hall. His free hand fumbled with the keys as he tried to open the door. She crept up behind him and started to smooth her palm over his back as she rested her head up against his shoulder. 

The door opened at last and they both stumbled inside. His hands flew to her face as he breathed her into a deep kiss. His tongue darted into her mouth while one of his hands reached behind her to grope at her lower cheek. She let out a small moan though deep within I felt disgusted as he blindly led her into his bedroom. Her hands wrapped around behind his neck as his hand reached under the hem of her dress and lifted. His fingers found their way between her folds and she broke the kiss as she mewled into his ear. She pushed him towards the bed and he quickly released his not so lengthy length. He laid back onto the bed as she crawled up on him, her heat hovering just above his girth as she subtly summoned a senbon while pulling him back into a kiss to distract him. Her hand slowly drifted to his neck and she felt around for his an mian point to prick with her senbon but not before he managed to force himself inside her. He fell asleep underneath her and she removed herself from him. 

I laid back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. I needed a moment. One to just myself, with no one else around… One where I could just ignore everything and live in the now. I’m me, just staring at that white ceiling. I’m ok. I’m alive. I’m unharmed. I’m on a mission. _She’s_ on a mission. I slapped myself in the face a couple times, hard. She sat up with a jolt, moved him into a slightly more realistic position to fall asleep in. Then she checked his pockets. Money, cigarettes (which she stole one and placed behind her ear), lighter, a receipt or two… Nothing here. She scanned the room as she readjusted her dress. Desk, maybe something there… She started searching his desk and found scrolls containing mission assignments… by the Mizukage. _Maybe he’s not high enough to be responsible for anything?_ She wondered. _No. That was the leader. I’m certain._ She started feeling underneath the drawers, nothing taped. Digging to the bottom of the drawers, she felt around for false bottoms and other false panels but felt none. The desk wasn’t enclosed in the leg area, so no hiding spots there… Next, she felt around for any loose floorboards, but found none… _Maybe they’re still in recruiting stages and have nothing concrete yet?_ She pondered as she looked at the room again. _Maybe he’s not as clever as he thinks he is…_ She determined once she saw a list of names on his nightstand. She summoned some paper and a pen to copy the names down. 

The names were likely targets to be recruited into the cause. Seems that they’re still in the early stages of planning. This is good news, the earlier the planning the easier it will be for them to handle. She pulled the senbon from his neck, started up a camouflage jutsu, dispersed her chakra, lined her body with chakra, and phased out of the room to attach to an exterior wall. She looked around and saw a plant on his balcony. After she headed onto the balcony, she placed her insignia underneath one of the leaves. Now that she had a way back, she used her flying raijin to head home.


	33. To mark me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:
> 
> “Mark me. Make me yours… Please.” I begged as I rolled my hips back into him. I wanted to feel him, and only him. Have him mark me. Even if I would cover it… I would know it’s still there, I could feel the hickey if I push down on it even if it wouldn’t be visible. 
> 
> “Kessho…” He brushed the back of his knuckles gently against my neck before placing a delicate kiss onto it. “I don’t know if-”
> 
> “Kakashi please.” I urged before letting go of his hand to roll on my other side to face him. He placed his hand onto my cheek and studied my face. I clutched onto his wrist and I slowly watched his brow unfurrow. 
> 
> “Ok.” He nodded before placing a kiss onto my forehead. “Tell me what you need.” I hesitated saying these words out loud and he noticed my need for encouragement. His hand slid down to my throat and his fingers drummed over my neck. “I’ll only do this, if you tell me verbally, what it is you need.” He warned as his fingers stopped drumming and gripped onto my neck without squeezing.
> 
> “I need Lord Sixth-”
> 
> “Yes…” He hummed.
> 
> “To mark me.”

“Kessho?” I heard him question groggily as I sat up in the bed, taking off my shoes and my dress to undo my transformation jutsu. 

“I need a shower.” I murmured. I walked towards the wall that my bedroom shared with the bathroom and used the phasing jutsu to walk in. I then stepped into the shower and scrubbed. I scrubbed away at my skin, peeling away all that remained of Maruyama Kohana. I started staring past things as I scrubbed, my mind wandering into nothing. 

“Kessho?” I heard his voice. “I’m coming in.” He hummed before the curtain pulled back. He body pressed against my back and he took the konjac sponge from my hand and wrapped his arms around me. “You’ve scrubbed enough.” He whispered into my ear as I realized now how red my body looked. “Is it ok for me to touch you?” He questioned gently as he started to pull away but my hands flew to his wrists and I tightened his grip on me for him. “Ok, ok.” He cooed as he turned off the water. “Let’s dry you off.” He tried to free one of his hands from my grip, and after a moment of hesitation, I loosened my grip. 

His hand reached for a towel that he then draped around me. I dried off, as did he. Once I was dry, I phased back into the bedroom and crept into bed, hiding myself underneath the covers. The mattress dipped and I then felt his warm embrace as his arms wrapped around me. His lips gently touched my neck. I clutched one of his hands, interlaced my fingers in his, and brought it up to my chest as I clung to him tightly. “Are you ok?” He whispered, with his hot breath brushing my ear. 

“I will be. Just hold me, please.” I pleaded as I pulled at his other hand, trying to tighten his hold on me. 

“I’m here.” He assured before he went back to peppering kisses on my bare skin. 

“It feels different.” I murmured with my lips pressed against his knuckles that were interwoven with mine. 

“Hm?” He hummed, but I stayed quiet as I thought back to that man. “What does?” He questioned as he started to run his fingertips up and down my abdomen. 

“Before… Using men to gather intel, it felt different. Now it feels so…  _ Wrong _ .” I elaborated as my brows furrowed. 

“You know I trust you, right? I know you wouldn’t do anything that wasn’t necessary.” He remarked.

“I know.” I told him as I closed my eyes and continued to press the back of his palm against my lips. 

“This is also your first mission of this kind since… Well, since before we got married. If you don’t count Danzo’s work, then before we were engaged. It’s going to feel different.” He reasoned. “Did something go wrong?” I shook my head. “You were able to get the intel you needed?”

“Some of it.” I replied, somewhat mindlessly. 

“Then why are you here?” He mumbled against my shoulder. 

“Because he’s drunk and asleep. He’ll sleep through the night.” I explained and his chest rumbled against my back as he made a sound that was neither a hum nor quite a groan. I could practically hear the cogs turning in his head as everything clicked for him. “Make me yours.” I pleaded. 

“What?” He asked with his head snapping up and resting behind mine. 

“Mark me. Make me yours… Please.” I begged as I rolled my hips back into him. I wanted to feel him, and only him. Have him mark me. Even if I would cover it… I would know it’s still there, I could feel the hickey if I push down on it even if it wouldn’t be visible. 

“Kessho…” He brushed the back of his knuckles gently against my neck before placing a delicate kiss onto it. “I don’t know if-”

“Kakashi please.” I urged before letting go of his hand to roll on my other side to face him. He placed his hand onto my cheek and studied my face. I clutched onto his wrist and I slowly watched his brow unfurrow. 

“Ok.” He nodded before placing a kiss onto my forehead. “Tell me what you need.” I hesitated saying these words out loud and he noticed my need for encouragement. His hand slid down to my throat and his fingers drummed over my neck. “I’ll only do this, if you tell me verbally, what it is you need.” He warned as his fingers stopped drumming and gripped onto my neck without squeezing.

“I need Lord Sixth-”

“Yes…” He hummed.

“To mark me.” I whined. He nosed his way to my ear as he gripped at my hip with his free hand and gave my neck a quick squeeze. 

“Do you want me to restrain you?” He purred into my ear. 

“No rope!” I replied quickly. 

“That doesn’t answer my question.” He spoke quietly, his voice dripping with lust as he dragged out each syllable. 

“You can with your hands.” I whimpered as he hooked my leg around his hips and I felt his girth rubbing between my folds. 

“What else do you want me to do to you?” He asked before nibbling onto my ear. I was starting to get frustrated. There’s too much talking and not enough marking. 

“Just fuck me Hatake!” I whined as I grabbed a fistful of his hair in desperation as I rolled my hips forward. He flipped me onto my back and slapped me in the face as he straddled me and the sheets slowly fell back onto the bed. His hand returned to my throat and gave me a gentle squeeze as he leaned down onto me. 

“You ruined the title Lord Sixth, now that’s what you’re going to use.” He growled as his hand loosened to slowly creep two fingers into my mouth. “Always so eager.” He cooed, and I shivered. Those words… Said the right way, by the right person. “You behave… I want to make sure you don’t forget who you belong to.” He purred as he slithered his way down between my legs. His hot breath against my lower lips made me shiver in anticipation. He opened my slit with his fingers and lapped from my entrance up to my sensitive bundle of nerves where his tongue settled. It swirled around my nub as one of his long, slender fingers slid into me and pressed up against that sweet spot that made me arch my back and moan. His tongue flicked at my bundle of nerves as he slid in a second finger. I fisted at the sheets as I started to whimper at how he was now sucking down at my nub while starting up a dizzy pace, hitting that perfect spot everytime. His fingers were magical as my muscles started to tense. My hips started to buck up at him as I grabbed onto his hair. He stopped suddenly and wrapped his arms around the back of my thighs to grip at my hips as his face lifted from my core. I found myself whining lingering for his touch… I was so close. “Stop bucking, and don’t grab my hair.” He ordered. 

“I won’t. Please Lord Sixth…” I whined as I watched a droplet of either my wetness or his drool that was on me drop from his chin onto my abandoned heat. The corners of his lips turned upwards before he slowly lowered his face. His tongue flicked at my still sensitive bundle as he watched my reaction. My eyes rolled back into my head briefly before I watched him grow a devious smile. 

“You’re so pretty when you beg.” He teased before his tongue flicked my clit again. I propped myself up onto my elbows after letting out another moan. 

“Please, please, please Lord Hokage.” I pleaded and I felt my lower lip start to quiver. 

“Please what?” He questioned sternly as he crawled up to me, placing one hand onto my cheek and his thumb gently onto my lower lip, almost as if to still it. 

“Please make me cum Lord Sixth.” I whispered as his eyes drifted between my eyes and my lips. 

“So pretty…” He murmured before pulling me in for a sweet kiss. He then receded back to my abandoned core. His lips enveloped my nub as he slid two fingers into me to start up again with a dizzying pace. I clutched onto his hand that was on my hip and his hand moved to interlace his fingers with mine. He slid in a third finger and I collapsed back onto the bed with my other hand fisting at the sheets. My muscles began to tighten as I could feel myself getting close. His fingers continued to press onto that perfect spot and his tongue rapidly flicked my nub. I started to whimper out his name mixed with his title as I approached the edge. My body jerked as I reached my high and he rode me out. He licked his fingers and lapped at me while squeezing my hand. He then started to nip and suck on the inside of my thighs, leaving marks as he continued to move outward. Once my inner thighs were covered with his marks, he moved to my lips. 

One hand went to the back of my neck as the other went to wrap around underneath me. I wrapped my arms around his back and my legs around his hips and I could feel his length buck between my folds. I moaned into the kiss as I clawed at his back. He parted the kiss, tracing more kisses down my jaw and into my neck. His lips stopped at my neck as he started to mark me there. He then moved his hand from behind my neck down to insert his stretching girth into me. His tip slowly pushed into my entrance, his hips bucking gently as he inched his way into me as my nails dug into his back. He stopped sucking on my neck and let his lower lip drag up my neck to rest on my ear. 

“I thought you wanted  _ me _ to mark  _ you _ .” He teased as I felt him smile against my ear. “Miss my stretching you already?” He cooed.

“Yes Lord Sixth.” I moaned as I squeezed my thighs around him to help him bottom out into me. He groaned and muttered curses into my ear as he slowly pulled out with my walls tightly clenched around him. His hips jerked forward harshly as he vigorously thrust back into me, bottoming out again, all while biting down onto my shoulder to continue to mark me. I clung tightly to the back of his neck as he started up a slow pace while sucking on my neck. My lips pressed to his outer shell as I whimpered into his ear. They were short whimpers, but I was practically singing with moans in between. His teeth left my shoulder and his lips brushed against my skin as he made his way to my ear. 

“Such dirty noises coming from a pretty little thing like you.” He cooed while he picked up his pace. His hand wrapped around my neck and he started to squeeze and push my neck down into the pillow as he separated some from me while he picked up his pace again. My whimpers stopped as I couldn’t breathe while he thrust vigorously into me. I focused in on the sensations. That pure utter ecstasy of him filling me and hitting just the right spot so quickly each time. Dizzying. Lightheaded. “Cum for me Kessho.” He purred such sweet words but there was such darkness within them. That order… That growl as he said my name again. I was close. My muscles tightened and he reached his high. I could feel him shudder and twitch above and in me. His free hand flew to my nub as he gave a final few thrusts and I was able finally reach mine. He let go of his hold on me and I gasped for air as my hips bucked while he rode me out. “That was a big one, hmmm?” He hummed as his hand not between my folds brushed away at stray baby hairs while he pressed his chest onto me, with that soothing even weight I loved. I nodded, still breathing heavily as I relaxed into the bed. He laid down beside me and pulled me into him to spoon me. “Is that enough marks for you?” He whispered into my ear. His lips dragged along my shoulder. “Or do you need more?” He growled before nipping at my skin. 

I let out a happy hum as I rolled my hips back into him. “I’m ok.” I told him before sitting up. I felt at my ear to notice the cigarette was still there. “I’ll be right back.” I murmured as I grabbed my yukata that still draped over the footboard. I wrapped it shut loosely with the koshihimo and grabbed a lighter from my vanity. After opening the bedroom door, I made my way outside to sit at the table on the porch, facing the cherry blossom tree. I took the cigarette and rested it between my lips as I used one hand with the lighter and the other to shelter the flame from the gentle summer breeze. The cicadas will start singing soon. Maybe another week or two? I took a long drag and held it in. 

I heard the front door open and close behind me. Kakashi came around and took a seat in front of me as I let out the remaining smoke. “What happened?” He questioned as he placed his ankle onto his knee, crossing his legs in a wide stance as he sat back in the chair while he slid my wedding ring to me across the table. 

“I found a target. I also think I found out who the leader may be. They have long black hair, purple eyes, and they’re missing their right hand. They seem to be in the recruiting stages. I found a list of five names of people that are being targeted for recruitment. The leader is cautious, but the current target is not. Current target is a man with silver hair, red eyes, and a scar across his cheek. He fought in your battalion…” I finished explaining while he folded his arms against his chest and I held my ring in my hand, studying it closely before finally placing it back where it belonged: my left ring finger. 

“You know that’s not what I meant.” He stated as I took a drag and looked past him at the cherry blossom tree. I flicked the ash from the cigarette into the tray before taking another drag. “His name, I think, was Hirano Isao. Your current current target.” He mentioned as he waited expectantly for my answer. I crossed my own legs and brought an arm across my abdomen and grabbed at my bicep while I held up the cigarette in my other hand. “His cigarette? That’s not the brand Asuma used to use.” He remarked, trying to get me to say something but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. He let out a sigh and rubbed his hands on his thighs. “Kessho, if you can’t do this mi-”

“That’s not it.” I snapped before I took the last drag of the cigarette before putting it out in the ashtray. “I just don’t want to talk about it.” I shrugged while still staring at the tree, not meeting his gaze despite how I could feel his eyes boring holes into my face. I just want to move on and forget. No need to dwell on it. I was Kakashi’s, that was blatantly clear now. 

“I wrote you back.” His voice interrupted my thoughts and my eyes snapped to him as my head tilted to the side. His lips were parted and the edges of his mouth slowly turned upwards. “I didn’t have any way to send you the letters you wrote to me… But… I wrote back to you.” He showed me that lovely closed eyed smile of his and my heart felt warmed. “At first it wasn’t even intentional… I wrote back out of habit. I’m not sure I even realized what I was doing at first, I just knew when I read that letter that I needed to write back to you.” He explained as he pulled out a folded piece of paper from one of his pockets. I took the letter, unfolded it, and immediately my fingers went to trace the way he would always address me: ‘ _ My _ dearest Kessho’. 

_ My dearest Kessho, _

_ Of course I remember our love letters. I dread that the ones you wrote to me are now lost to the destruction that once plagued us. At least I’ll have some new ones to cherish now. When you were away, I sometimes found myself tracing your words whenever sleep would evade me. I’d love to go through the letters with you. We can do it one night as soon as you get back. I’d love to be reminded of how I fell in love with you the first time. Everytime. I fall in love with you everyday Kessho. Every time I wake up and I see you, see our two beautiful boys… I fall in love with you all over again. My heart aches but in the sweetest of ways. The only sweets I ever like are the ones laced with you.  _

_ These feelings… What is it to be human, I wonder? Maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s these very feelings that make us human, but… We all need our humanity, Kessho. What we do does require a lack of that, but don’t forget to take those moments. Those moments to yourself, to allow yourself to be human. It still surprises me how confidently you can write that it is I that do these things for you. Surely the strength you have within yourself played a bigger role than I did. Even still, I’m glad I was able to help… You’ve done the same for me. We helped each other bring out that humanity. We brought it out in each other and let it flourish. We had so much humanity that we took the leftovers and turned them into two little humans.  _

I paused for a moment and pressed the papers up to my chest as I laughed. He looked down to his lap but not before I caught his smile. 

_ I hope that made you laugh.  _

“It did…” I murmured. 

_ You’ll have to show me this star when you get back. I don’t understand why you think I’ll be the ones that burn brighter, but I still like to see how you think of me. It makes me want to be that person you so vehemently believe me to be. It did make me laugh. I traced over the words right after I did. You can be a lot at times, but that just means there’s more for me to love.  _

I hummed happily as I brought my knuckles to my lips, hiding my face as I continued to read. 

_ Your excitement both worries me and makes me smile. I’m happy you’re so happy, but I must confess something to you. I feel utterly selfish admitting to this, and the only reason I’m doing it is because I’m convincing myself that I’m doing it for our children… Although that is true to a certain extent… Deep down I’m doing it for me, because deep down I’m still a selfish man. You must be wondering why I’m stalling so much, but it’s only because I do feel guilty for feeling this way. You see I’m also working up the courage to put this fear I have into words…  _

I paused again to peek up at him to see he was still staring at his lap, now fiddling with his fingers. 

_ Your words… Your excitement… Your love and lust for this danger… Yes I fear for your safety, that much is obvious. There’s something else I fear. Something far greater. You’re so strong, and fearless. I admire these qualities in you, and for that reason, I’m not as afraid for your safety. I’m fully aware of how capable you are although it may not come off that way at times. There’s something I fear far greater: I’m afraid you’ll run away. I know how much you love this life. I’m aware of how much you enjoy living in this ‘ferrility’ as you put it (did you make up a word?). I’m absolutely terrified you’ll leave us to continue to live that life… To abandon us. I feel horrible admitting this. I’m not even sure I should be writing this.  _

_ You see I say it’s selfish of me because you are your own person. You should be able to do what you want. If at any point you feel the need to return to that life… To that ‘ferrility’, it is your right to do so. It  _ _ was _ _ your right to do so. You see, the only reason why I’m able to confess this fear to you now is because of our children. They need you, Kessho. I can’t let you run away from them. Reading this part of the letter, it scares me. It rises that fear inside me that you’ll just up and leave and not come back.  _

_ The fear is quelled some, now knowing that you feel this is a small part of you now. Yet… It’s a part that still exists. That’s still enough for me to have this fear. I understand that my fear is born out of me losing people and not wanting to lose anyone else. I understand your love for me is great. It’s so great… Greater than a selfish man like me probably deserves, but… I know there’s a tipping point. One that will trigger you to get you to leave. I don’t know what it is, or what it would take… But it exists. The mere fact of that alone is enough for my fear. I’d like for us to talk about this when the chance arises… I need to know that you won’t abandon them. Abandon me if you like, if you must. Not them Kessho. Never them.  _

_ I’d like to offer a lighter note to end on, this is still a love letter after all. Asuma and Obito… I think they miss your presence. They miss your intoxicatingly sweet laugh. Also, I hope you know I would never respond to the Mizukage’s advances. I think she’s just lonely. Why she would flirt with me is beyond my comprehension, but I hope you weren’t bothered by it. Though I remember you smiling. You do enjoy seeing me flustered, don’t you? I miss you already.  _

_ Our boys… I’ve been giving them extra skin time, trying to make up for your being away. I also wrap them in your yukata when I feed them. I hope they recognize your scent and that it brings them comfort. They’re a little more fussy lately, that’s why I say I think they miss you. They’re not quite as happy as we usually know them to be. I’m not saying this to try to make you sad, don’t be, I’m saying this so you know how much you are loved.  _

_ I love you, Kessho. I love you. I love you. I love you.  _

_ Love,  _

_ Kakashi _

I slowly folded the letter and uncrossed my legs to hold the letter in my lap… Staring at it. “There’s others…” He uttered and my eyes snapped to him to see he was still looking at his lap, he was fiddling with his wedding ring. Fiddling with it the same way I usually did. “I responded to all the letters, but I wanted to talk about what was written in that one.” He mentioned as I gulped. 

“Kakashi, I would ne-” 

“Don’t.” He snapped before sighing and finally facing me. “You might be able to lie to yourself about it, but you can’t lie to me.” He warned as I felt my eyes start to water. My brows furrowed upwards as my bottom lip quivered. I was fiddling with my wedding ring now as I watched my fingers twirl the ring around. Was he right? No… I… 

“I…” I tried to speak but no words came out and even if they did… I wasn’t sure what I would say. 

“I just need some reassurance. I don’t know exactly what but… I need it Kessho.” He explained as he stood up which I noticed in my periphery. His body moved closer to me and he kneeled beside me and he placed his elbows on my thigh as he took my hand into his and his eyes rested on our hands… As did mine. 

“I can’t think of anything that would ever make me leave you.” I whispered. “Or them.” I added as I squeezed his hand. 

“But you acknowledge the possibility exists.” He murmured against the back of his palm that was clasping onto my hand. 

“I…” A lump grew in my throat and a tear fell onto one of his hands that clung so tightly to mine. “I don’t know.” I admitted as I shook my head. “Can we go inside?” I pleaded with my voice cracking. His eyes flew up to mine as his mouth parted. He let go of my hand to place his onto my cheek and he thumbed away at my tears. He placed his free hand onto my thigh as he stood up to then hold out his hand for me to take. I took his hand and we walked back inside the house. He walked over to the sofa chair and pulled me onto his lap, cradling me in his arms with my head resting on his chest. “I love you so much, Kakashi.” I whispered as I traced the scars on his bare chest. 

“I’m not doubting that.” He murmured before placing a kiss on the top of my head. 

“Then why would I leave?” I huffed. “I don’t understand.” 

“What if I do something? Something that hurts you, that you can’t move past?” He wondered. 

“Why…? But you wouldn’t…” I trailed off as my brows furrowed again. I just don’t understand why he thinks something like this would happen. 

“Kessho… Tenzo told me that you thought about leaving.” He confessed and I lifted my head to watch him. His gaze was steady and his body language was oddly relaxed in comparison to the tension I was feeling. Knots were forming in my stomach as my eyes studied his face. He was purposefully trying to avoid giving anything away. “Back when we were fighting…” He reminded me but I was all too aware. I knew Tenzo had told Kakashi, but I never thought it would turn into this. “I just… What if you leave before I even get a chance to make things right?” He finished with a whisper, his brows furrowing, and as much as he tried to hide his emotions, I could still see the pain in his eyes. I closed my eyes and rested my head back onto his chest. If I were to leave, would I leave before he had a chance? Probably… It’d be easier that way… “I probably wouldn’t even be able to find you… You’re so good, you’d leave without a trace.” He mumbled with his chin resting on the top of my head. He was right about that too… I would never allow him to find me. That would complicate things. But maybe that’s what he needs. A way to always be able to find me. I can give that to him. 

“I know what to do.” I told him with my voice cracking slightly. I lifted my head and his eyes darted between mine. “There’s a way to summon me. Like a reverse summoning.” I started to explain as I watched his head tilt. “Rei has the ability to summon me. It’s inscribed in my flying raijin tattoo. He’s only ever used it in emergencies, well… After I kicked his ass for summoning mid mission for a lay.” I mentioned, and Kakashi and I chuckled, easing some of the tension. His hand lifted from my thigh to my cheek and the edges of his lips turned upwards. 

“You’d do that?” He questioned as his thumb traced my lips. 

“You always tell me that we can work through it. We’re married, Kakashi, that means I promised to give you that chance… To always try to work through it.” I smiled and he pressed his forehead to mine. 

“What do we need to do?” He asked with a whisper. 

“We need to go see Rei. He’ll add something onto your hand, where my insignia is, and he’ll add onto my tattoo. We can do it when I get back.” I suggested. He pulled me into a kiss, pressing rather harshly to me as his hand clutched to the back of my neck tightly. When he broke the kiss, his cheek brushed against mine as he breathed into my ear. It was like he wanted to say something, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. 

“Thank you.” His hand squeezed at my neck when he uttered words at long last. I placed my hand onto his cheek as he pulled away. 

“Kakashi…” I whispered as I pulled his forehead to mine. “I want you to know that if I ever were to run… It wouldn’t be because I don’t love you. It would be because I  _ can’t _ stop loving you and being here is too painful.” I explained as he clutched onto my wrist. 

“Kessho…” He whispered while he inched closer and further, our lips barely grazing as he debated another kiss. I didn’t want to hold back anymore so I breathed him into one. Such soft lips. I started to straighten up without breaking the kiss and moved to straddle him. My hands rested on his cheeks and his hands rested at my hips. I pressed myself onto him, so that then I could roll my hips forward as our tongues continued to dance. He moaned into the kiss and his fingers dipped into my skin as he gripped tighter at my hips. His lips parted from mine and I pulled his face into my shoulder as I continued rolling my hips against him. “We should sleep.” He whispered before groaning as I felt him hardening beneath me. 

“Quick. Please.” I gasped between whimpers as I felt my slit rub against his clothed length. I felt his breath tickle my neck before he started to nibble at my ear as my fingers laced themselves into his hair. His hands moved from my hips and I lifted myself off of him as he freed his girth. One of his hands remained at his girth as he rubbed his tip between my folds before resting at my entrance while his other hand was on my hip, guiding me onto him. His thickness stretched me so, as I slowly lowered myself, enjoying every second of that feeling of being filled. Once within me, I started to roll my hips with more vigor than before while one of his hands pulled at the yukata to expose my shoulder. He bit down at the crook of my neck and I let out a loud moan while his remained stifled. I could feel the heat building quickly as I thrust my head back and fisted at his hair while he now started sucking at my already bruised neck. One of his hands went to still my hips, where he then started thrusting himself into me with such ferocity. I tried to moan out his name but my breath hitched and the noises I made were choked as I relished in the feeling of him taking me. His breath danced along my skin as he made his way up to my ear, letting me hear his moans and grunts. I clenched tighter at his hair as I felt us both getting close. 

“Cum for me.” He kept repeating those choked words into my ear over and over with each forceful thrust. My walls clenched down on him as I was able to do as he commanded. He let out a loud groan into my ear as he reached his high and he stopped thrusting. I started to roll my hips to ride him out as he placed loving kisses onto my jaw, neck, and shoulder while we both caught our breaths. We stayed in that embrace as our hearts steadied and my grip on his hair loosened. His head rested in the crook of my neck and I started to brush fingers through that wiry mane I loved. Truly, I just loved every part of him. “We should sleep.” He spoke softly, lovingly, with such care in his tone as his hand went to my cheek and he pulled away to look me in the eye. I nodded but didn’t get up. 

“Can we go get them? I know they’re sleeping but… I-I… I just want them.” I finished with a whisper. He showed me his closed eyed smile and pressed his forehead to mine. 

“Of course.” He placed a kiss onto my forehead and I slowly got up off of him. Once he tucked away and I cleaned myself, I went up with him to the boys’ room. They were sleeping soundly in their crib as we both quietly approached. “They’ve still been sleeping through the night.” He commented quietly as we approached. I picked up Obito and Kakashi picked up Asuma. Obito woke up but he wasn’t fussy while Asuma on the other hand, was. I placed a kiss onto Asuma’s head as Kakashi started to shift his weight from leg to leg. Once I kissed his head, his hand reached out to where he felt my presence. I placed another kiss onto his cheek and his hand caught a stray hair as he smiled. “They missed you.” Kakashi whispered. I grimaced as I pulled away from Asuma’s strong grip on my hair so we could head downstairs into our bedroom. Kakashi got into bed as did I and we placed Obito and Asuma between us both. Obito and Asuma we mixed between yawning and cooing away happily as my hand drifted between the two tummies to rub them. Soon enough all of us fell asleep. 


	34. Hokage Voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:  
> "Just stay safe and keep writing to me." He whispered before pulling away to rest his head again. 
> 
> "I will. I still want to read our letters. You said you wrote back and you had more?" I questioned. 
> 
> "Yeah, you can read the rest when you come back." He commented. I let out a little whine and he chuckled. "Your patience never seems to be around when it comes to receiving my love, you're rather greedy." He remarked with a playful smile. 
> 
> "Can you blame me?” I teased back as he sat up to then take Asuma. He pressed Asuma’s head to his shoulder and pressed a kiss to my cheek. His lips lingered as I readjusted Obito to press his head to my shoulder. “Can we just… Stay in this moment forever…?” I pleaded as he placed another kiss on my temple with his lips still lingering. His breath tickled my skin as he dragged his lips to my ear. 

I awoke to their crying and quickly untied my koshihimo to start feeding Asuma after sitting up. Kakashi helped me cradle Obito so I could feed both at the same time. Kakashi laid back down while his hand went to caress my thigh as he reached under the yukata. “You leaving after this?” He wondered and I nodded. “Are you going back to him?” He questioned cautiously as he gripped at my thigh. 

“No. Just watching. He’ll just assume I snuck out before he woke up.” I explained and he started to brush his knuckles against my thigh only to grip at it again as he reached up to press a kiss to my temple. 

"Just stay safe and keep writing to me." He whispered before pulling away to rest his head again. 

"I will. I still want to read our letters. You said you wrote back and you had more?" I questioned. 

"Yeah, you can read the rest when you come back." He commented. I let out a little whine and he chuckled. "Your patience never seems to be around when it comes to receiving my love, you're rather greedy." He remarked with a playful smile. 

"Can you blame me?” I teased back as he sat up to then take Asuma. He pressed Asuma’s head to his shoulder and pressed a kiss to my cheek. His lips lingered as I readjusted Obito to press his head to my shoulder. “Can we just… Stay in this moment forever…?” I pleaded as he placed another kiss on my temple with his lips still lingering. His breath tickled my skin as he dragged his lips to my ear. 

“I wish.” He spoke wistfully and I turned to face him. I stared into those eyes that now matched and were filled with so much devotion… So much love. He moved in closer for a sweet, quick, kiss to then press his forehead to mine. “Let's take them upstairs, I’m sure you need to leave.” He suggested. We both got up and off of the bed, walked upstairs, and placed them in the crib. He placed his hand on the small of my back as we watched our two boys fall asleep. He brushed some stray hairs back behind my ear. I should probably redo my bun. Can’t have any loose hairs flying around. I walked over to the boys’ dresser and started pulling the senbon from my hair. Once I was done. I bent over and shook my hair for good measure, and a few fell out as Kakashi came up behind me and pressed himself against my behind. I picked up the senbon and placed them beside the others on the dresser as I straightened. Kakashi brushed my hair to one side while wrapping one arm around my waist and his breath lingered on my skin as he hesitated where to place his kisses first. I clung to his arm as I reached back with my other hand and placed it on his neck while I rolled my behind into him. He placed his kiss onto my shoulder as I rested my head back on his chest. “I know you need to go, but I can’t seem to keep my hands off of you.” He whispered into my ear as his other hand cupped my breast. I moaned quietly as I rolled my hips back again. 

“That’s quite the problem.” I murmured as I closed my eyes and his hand around my waist slipped under my yukata to rest on the outside of my lower lips. I rolled my hips back into him again and he spun me around and picked me up by the thighs which I then wrapped around him. My arms went around his neck as he pulled me into a passionate kiss while I felt him move us elsewhere. His hardness was pressed against me as he slammed me into the wall out in the hallway. The frames on the wall shook as he started kissing my neck and he used the newfound leverage to start bucking his hips. I laced my fingers into his hair with one hand as my other went to free his girth from those pesky clothes. His hips worked with my hand to guide his filling length into me. I groaned into his ear as he started up a steady pace. His mouth was agape as he rested his head onto my shoulder. I moved my hand back up and started to claw at his back as our moans and groans filled the hall. The skin of my back was pulled as I was pressed against the wall and fucked so roughly. His breath, so warm against my neck… “Kiss me.” I begged with a whisper as his hips continued to buck into me, picking up his pace. He pressed his lips to mine with fervor. My body was wholly surrounded by his as his tongue massaged mine. When he broke the kiss he tugged at my lower lip before pressing his forehead to mine as his pace quickened further. Utterly stretched and filled by his girth as he continued to pump into me, now with a dizzying pace. My eyes rolled back into my head as I concentrated on the pleasure while the heat between us rapidly builded. My muscles started to tighten and I held my breath as I stared into his eyes. I tightened my walls around him as I reached my high and I watched as his eyes rolled into the back of his head as his mouth parted. His brows furrowed and he buried his face into my neck as a grunt came from his lips and was muffled by my skin as I felt him reach his high. He gave his few final thrusts as I stroked his hair before he put me down on the ground in the hall. We stayed there for a moment, our bodies pressed together, in a lust filled haze. My hand was still stroking his hair and his face was still buried in my neck as I thought about how I had to leave. "I need you to update the Mizukage…" I whispered to him as we held each other tightly. I felt him nod against my skin as I started to run my free hand up and down his back. "I also need you to ask her if she wants me to take out the leader."

"No." He mumbled against my skin.

"Kakashi-"

"No." He lifted his head and looked at me with tired eyes and a frown on those lovely lips I found myself staring at again. "That wasn't the mission objective." He stated with his Hokage voice. It deserves a name honestly… Stern, commanding, just a note or two deeper than his usual voice. 

"Mission objectives change as new updates come in. You and I both know that. It shouldn't be too hard and really, this should be taken care of sooner rather than later. If we don't nip this now, it can blow up quickly which is exactly what we are trying to avoid." I reasoned with my Lady Kunoichi voice. My voice had an air of superiority to it, it also came with a puffed chest and raised nose. He groaned as his forehead slammed into the wall behind me, next to my face. He shrugged as his arms fell to his sides and he rested his body weight on me. I clung tightly to him as I helped him accept his defeat. His arms wrapped around me before he kissed my cheek. 

"You're not taking  **any** action without prior approval from the Mizukage. Not a single finger to be flicked with a senbon in it. Understood?" He questioned with his chest backing away as he cupped my face in his hands. I nodded and kissed the tip of his pointed nose. "I mean it Kessho, if this isn't handled correctly it could be an international crisis. We could start the very thing we're trying to help avoid." He warned with that… Sexy… Hokage voice. I pressed my forehead to his and threaded my fingers deep into his hair. 

"I'm aware. You have my word. I won't do anything without prior word from the Mizukage." I buried his head in my neck while I buried mine in his shoulder as I pressed kisses along it. "I need to leave." I announced, but he only clung tighter. It wasn't until we heard Shikamaru come in that we parted and I closed my yukata. We walked downstairs and Kakashi covered his face with his hand as we saw Shikamaru. Shikamaru had his hands in his pockets and gave us both a quick nod. 

"I'll go get started." Shikamaru informed as he started to make his way upstairs.

"Get me an appointment with the Mizukage, video. I need to speak with her today." Kakashi called out to Shikamaru before he followed me into our bedroom, closing the door behind him. I took off my yukata and as if by instinct Kakashi's bare arms wrapped around my naked body and he placed kisses along my shoulder. 

"It's a lot harder to get dressed with you attached to me." I teased as I leaned my head away to give Kakashi more space. 

"I told you, I can't seem to keep my hands off of you." He whispered as his hand slid over to grope my breast while the other held tightly at my waist as he moved his kisses slowly up my neck.

"That is a problem…" I hummed as I held onto his forearms, enjoying his warmth for just one more second. "But I do need to leave." I warned but his hand on my waist started to drift downwards. 

"Don't." I could feel the pain in his voice as he pressed his face into mine with his lips brushing my outer shell. 

"Don't say that." I pleaded while I felt his fingers slide between my folds and my hips bucked back into him. I gripped tighter onto his forearms trying to will myself to not give in to him. "Kakashi, I have to leave." I pulled his arms away and broke free from his hold as I turned on my heels and rested on the edge of the bed. I felt a little shaky as my head rose to watch him. His forlorn demeanor was almost masking the guilt in his eyes as he held onto his biceps with slumped shoulders.

"I'm sorry… I just… It's just… different now." He struggled to place the words as he took my fingertips to hold in his hands. 

"I know." I whispered as I watched him hold me so delicately. "Before it was so much easier to leave." 

"We hadn't built a life together before." He reasoned while inching closer to where our knees were touching. 

"You're still scared I'll leave…" I whispered, watching his face through my lashes. 

"Shouldn't I be?" He whispered with his brows knitted, with a pained look on his face. I stood up and interlocked my fingers with one of his hands as my other went to cup his face so he could meet my eyes. 

"No." I answered as I pressed my forehead to his, but his eyes still looked elsewhere. "If I could freeze time at any one point… It would be with you in it." 

"And the kids?" He asked with his eyes finally meeting mine. 

"Of course with them too, that goes without saying." I replied before pressing a sweet and soft kiss onto his lips. His free hand threaded into the hair of my loosened bun as he pressed himself into me to deepen the kiss. He was making this so hard. I turned my face away to break the kiss and his hand lowered to the back of my neck. "Kakashi." I scolded as I held my eyes shut tightly with my hand dropping to my side while squeezing his hand. I felt his lips pressed to my temple. 

"I love you, Kessho." He mumbled with his lips still lingering on my skin while I placed my hand blindly on his chest. 

"I love you too." I whispered before letting go and moving to put on my Anbu uniform. I stole one last glance at him and he gave me a nod with the most loving look in his eyes before I put on my owl mask and used my flying raijin to return back to Kirigakure.

* * *

I had been following him around for about a week now, watching him slowly approach those people on his list and try to convince them to join their cause. Each one, always hesitant at first, but the way he would weave his words... He was a drunk. In other words a master manipulator. It was genius really, you can’t really trust him to do much else, so give the recruitment job to the reckless drunk who could manipulate his way in and out of anything. The way he painted everything, making reverting to the old ways seem like such a logical and simple solution. I knew it wasn’t, and nearly every night when he returned back home in his wasted state… I think he did too. Tomorrow though. Tomorrow was finally the day they were all supposed to convene. The day I’d finally be able to get within range of their leader… Now if only I knew what I was supposed to do. 

Kakashi offered the Mizukage to have me take the leader down, but she said she needed to ‘think about it.’ After I found out about the meetup, I let her know that was the deadline… Through Kakashi of course. Now I was following him back from the bar. He went ‘celebrating’ his successful recruitment. When he wasn’t successful, he’d go out and throw himself a pity party. He was clearly hurting deep inside, and I felt a little guilty for being thankful that he was a drunk. Him being a drunk meant that he would pass out at night, sleep soundly, and I could go back home for the night. It was a relief to be able to check in on my boys… All three of them. 

So I crawled silently along the roofs, watching closely as he stumbled along. He bumped into a friend it seems as he placed his arm over their shoulder and talked for a bit. The friend quickly noticed just how inebriated he was and decided to help the non-Kakashi silver haired man home. I followed along and crawled down from the roof, lining my limbs with chakra to stick to the walls as I went to peer in through his windows. His friend dragged him inside and plopped him on the bed before slamming his door shut on the way out. I quietly waited for a few more moments to ensure that was truly passed out with my sensory abilities. Two moments… Three moments… Four more moments pass and finally the man was passed out. I placed my insignia under a leaf in the plant out on the nearby balcony before using my flying raijin to get home to Kakashi. 

I appeared crouched on the bed with Kakashi quickly rolling, pushing us both off the bed and him landing on top of me with his hand around my throat while straddling me. When he realized it was me he swatted off the owl mask, pulled down the skin tight one, and quickly pressed his lips to mine in desperation. I hooked my arms around his neck and we slowly sat up with him still on top of me and without breaking our kiss. Once we were both sitting, he broke the kiss and pressed his forehead to mine, his eyes darting between mine. “You’re late.” He remarked at first with a serious tone but finished with a smile.

“I am no such thing, he simply decided to take his sweet time tonight.” I told him as one of my hands drifted to his cheek. 

“I’m glad you’re home.” He told me sweetly before placing a gentle kiss on my temple as he held me with one hand on the back of my head with the other on my back, helping me balance myself as I held him. 

“Let’s go to sleep please…” I begged as he traced kisses down from my temple, cheek, neck, all over my anbu skin tight top. His hips rolled into mine which caused my hand on his cheek to fist at his hair with a moan escaping from my lips. “Kakashi please, I’m tired.” I whined as I pressed my lips to his ear. He created some space between us so he could look me in the eyes and his slightly shocked expression softened as he tucked some baby hairs away. “I just want to be well rested for tomorrow.”

“Ok.” He whispered before moving off of me. He crawled back into bed while I undressed and undid my bun, making sure to place all the senbon onto the nightstand and shake my hair out before crawling in myself. I pulled my hair to the front and felt his arms wrap around me with his thick girth pressing into my behind as we both lay on our sides. 

“Well… Don’t let it go to waste… Put it in me…” I told him as I laced my fingers through one of his hands and brought it up to my chest. He smiled against my shoulder as he peaked over at our hands. 

“I’m going to need that back first.” He declared, all smug. I rolled my eyes that he couldn’t see and let go of his hand. I felt him squirming behind me to then see pants, and underwear tossed onto the ground from behind me. His hand caressed my behind as it lowered it’s way to my lower outer thigh, to then grip it and hike my leg over his hip. He gripped onto my thigh as I felt him slowly insert himself into me. I clutched back onto his bicep as I moaned loudly, enjoying the sensation of his filling length. His hand retreated to my waist, but I laced my fingers again in his as I clutched him to my chest. Our legs intertwined, his arms wrapped around me, his hot breath ticking the back of my neck… It was soothing, exactly what I needed to go to sleep. 


	35. Is that such a bad thing?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:   
> “What?” He asked as he tucked my hair behind my ears, snapping me back from my thoughts. I pursed my lips before my smile spread across my face. 
> 
> “Just thinking about how much I love you.” I chimed which made him grow the brightest smile since I started this mission. He tucked some more hairs behind my ear, even though there weren’t anymore to tuck, while his hand hovered around my face as his other hand cupped it. It was almost like he was fidgeting while trying to decide how to best express himself. He pulled my face onto his, almost like he was trying to meld our foreheads together. 
> 
> “I wish I could do what you do to me.” He mumbled while thumbing my cheeks. I chuckled as a few thoughts drifted to the front of my mind. 
> 
> “I’ll have to make sure the twins know how rude it will be if they try communicating through the mind reading and they don’t include you.” I mentioned as his eyes widened and a look of panic flashed in his eyes. I gripped tightly onto his hands and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I’ll fill you in on everything, don’t worry.” I tried placing a kiss onto his forehead, but my smile wouldn’t go away. He somewhat giggled as he pulled my face into his neck. 

I moaned loudly as I clenched down my walls around his girth and felt his teeth scratching my neck while my hips rolled back and I reached back to place my palm onto his face. “I love it when you wake me up like this.” I told him before I groaned at the feeling of him starting up an achingly slow pace. His lower lip dragged against my skin as he made his way to my ear. 

“Keep making those pretty noises for me.” He cooed as he slid two fingers into my mouth. I twirled my tongue around his fingers as he hooked them at my jaw, using it as leverage as he continued to thrust into me slowly, but with rough, hard thrusts. Each pound he made rocked my body as my leg that was hooked around his hips gripped onto him tighter and each pound he made caused one of those pretty noises he loved to escape my lips. He picked up a steady pace, sacrificing some of his roughness for speed. His hand that wasn’t in my mouth snaked under my waist and drifted to between my folds where he started up rubbing my bundle of nerves in circles. My moans started to turn to whimpers as I clung to his forearm, but the awkwardness from it caused his hand to lower and grip at my neck. I could feel his arms squeezing around me, and I squeezed my walls around his girth in turn. He grunted into my ear as I felt my muscles start to tighten, getting close quickly as I focused on my pleasure. I moaned out his name, although choked with his strong grip at my neck, all while I reached my high. He gave a few final, forceful thrusts to reach his own before his grip on my neck loosened and he peppered my neck and shoulder with sweet kisses. I pulled him out and turned around so I was facing him. After cupping his face in my hands I leaned in for a kiss. When I pulled away, I brushed his hair behind his ear and looked into those dark eyes that I loved to get lost in. “I love you.” He whispered as he pressed his forehead to mine. 

“I love you too.” I told him before pulling him into another sweet quick kiss. I wanted to pull away so I could just look at him…  _ Really _ look at him. Immerse myself in this sweet moment where time felt like it was at a standstill. These moments reminded me why I grew to love feeling human… Why it was such a big part of my life now… 

“What?” He asked as he tucked my hair behind my ears, snapping me back from my thoughts. I pursed my lips before my smile spread across my face. 

“Just thinking about how much I love you.” I chimed which made him grow the brightest smile since I started this mission. He tucked some more hairs behind my ear, even though there weren’t anymore to tuck, while his hand hovered around my face as his other hand cupped it. It was almost like he was fidgeting while trying to decide how to best express himself. He pulled my face onto his, almost like he was trying to meld our foreheads together. 

“I wish I could do what you do to me.” He mumbled while thumbing my cheeks. I chuckled as a few thoughts drifted to the front of my mind. 

“I’ll have to make sure the twins know how rude it will be if they try communicating through the mind reading and they don’t include you.” I mentioned as his eyes widened and a look of panic flashed in his eyes. I gripped tightly onto his hands and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I’ll fill you in on everything, don’t worry.” I tried placing a kiss onto his forehead, but my smile wouldn’t go away. He somewhat giggled as he pulled my face into his neck. 

“That’ll be… Quite the sight.” He hummed, clearly trying to picture it all. 

“What do you think they’ll be like?” I wondered and I felt him smile against my shoulder. 

“I think… I think Asuma’s going to be reserved.” He postulated but I shook my head before nuzzling back into his neck. 

“He looks too much like you, to also act like you too.” I objected. 

“You’re reserved about most things.” He countered with a mumble against my bare skin. 

“I guess…” 

“Why? What do you think they’ll be like?” He questioned. 

“I think they’ll be more like me because they look like you.” I grumbled and I heard him chuckling which made me grumble even more. 

“You just want them to have more of you in them.” He teased as he smoothed over my hair while pressing a kiss to my cheek. 

“Is that such a bad thing?” I pouted as I felt one of the ninken clawing at the edge of the bed. 

“Looks like they’re awake.” He whispered after his sweet chuckles filled my ear. We slowly let go of each other and I sat up on the bed to see Guruko waiting patiently, sitting before me. I noticed one of my yukatas on the footboard. He seemed to be laying them out for me, probably because these are the ones he uses afterwards to wrap the twins in so they smell my scent. I grabbed the yukata and put it on and wrapped it shut with a koshihimo. Kakashi had put on his pants and reached out for my hand. I clasped onto his hand as he gave me a soft smile and he proceeded to lead me upstairs. When we got up to their room, their wails filled our ears, and we slowly approached their crib. 

I clung to Asuma tightly as I walked over to the rocking chair to sit down. After exposing myself I accommodate Asuma, to then have Kakashi help me accommodate Obito. I rested my head back on the chair as I watched my two beautiful boys, enjoying their presence. “They’re starting to get too big for me to hold them both like this.” I remarked as Kakashi came around to my side between me and the window as he started running fingers through my hair. 

“They are getting pretty big.” He hummed before leaning down and placing a kiss on the top of my head. 

“My chunky boys.” My unfading smile still graced my face as I started to rock the chair. 

“You always look so calm when they’re feeding.” He spoke in hushed tones and I rested my head onto the side of his waist as he started to rub my bicep with his arm around me. 

“I feel calm when they’re feeding.” I commented peacefully as I closed my eyes. 

“Is it a hormonal thing?” He wondered and I replied with a nod before placing a kiss onto his exposed skin. I rested my forehead against his waist with my eyes closed and a gentle smile on my lips as I tried to let the moment linger as long as it would allow. Soon enough Asuma finished feeding, so Kakashi came around to hold him, and Obito finished soon after. I brought my heels up onto the edge of the rocking chair and rested Obito’s back on my thighs. He looked so adorable as he yawned showing off his gums. 

“Mommy loves you, Obito. Mommy loves you so much. Yes she does. Yes she does, yes she does, yes she does.” I cooed as I tickled his tummy. He smiled and made a choked up noise to then emit a loud squeal. His noises filled my heart, so I picked him up and held him tightly against my chest. I wasn’t ready… I can’t leave… 

“Asuma rolled over yesterday.” Kakashi beamed with a large toothy grin before he crouched down before me. My heart ached as I felt tears welling up in my eyes. “No, Kessho, please don’t cry.” He pleaded as his brows knitted upwards. 

“I’m sorry, I just…” I smoothed back Obito’s tufts of hair as I felt a lump in my throat. I got up and walked over to the crib to place Obito inside. Without a word I took Asuma from Kakashi who still held his worried look on his face while a tear streamed down my cheek. I placed Asuma down into the crib, pulled down the gate, and crawled into the crib along with them. My arm rested across their stomachs as I went into the fetal position, trying to almost protectively wrap myself around them both as I watched them coo away. Both of them found locks of my hair to pull as I felt one of Kakashi’s arms smooth down my thigh to have his hand rest at my calf while he placed his chin onto the dip of my waist. 

“You’ll be done soon.” He cooed as his other hand went to rub my back and I felt another tear escape from me. I looked over at Asuma twisted on his side and turned his head to me as he followed the lock of hair investigating to see where it was attached. 

“That’s my smart boy.” I chuckled as I smoothed his head and another tear escaped, rolling its way down my nose to then drop onto the green sheets with navy shuriken on them. Asuma smiled at the sound of my voice, unbeknownst to him how deeply troubled my voice sounded. All he knew was that it was the voice of his mother, the one who finally came back after being absent for a couple days. “I didn’t think it would be this hard…” I admitted to Kakashi. I felt his hold disappear only to reappear as one arm went around my upper chest while the other was placed on the top of my head as he bent over me to place a kiss onto my cheek. 

“I know… I know.” He cooed as he watched me watching them. “You need to go.” He whispered as he tucked some hairs behind my ear, pulling some away from Asuma’s grip. I clung to my boys tighter as more tears came flooding out. Why now? Why am I so distraught today but not nearly as bad last time I was here? “It’ll be ok… Almost over, then you can stay here as long as you want. No more missions.” He chimed. I turned my head to meet his gaze with narrowed eyes. “No?” He asked with raised brows and a smug smile on his face. I smiled while I pushed his face away gently, thankful at his attempts to cheer me up. I placed a kiss onto each of my boy’s heads and crept out of the crib. Kakashi’s arms wrapped around my waist as I pulled up the crib gate. My hands lingered on the top of the crib as I looked down at my two baby boys as they wound down. 

“I just don’t want to miss anymore…” I whispered while gripping tightly as he tucked all my hair onto one side. 

“I know.” He whispered back as he rested his chin on my shoulder. 

“I love you Obito. I love you Asuma.” I told them both before I loosened my grip as Kakashi pulled away. He grabbed onto my hand and started to walk towards the door, but waited for me until I was ready to walk away. We headed back to our bedroom with our fingers interlocked as he tugged me along. When we walked into our bedroom, he pulled me into him tightly and placed a gentle kiss atop my head. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest as he smoothed over my long, lengthy hair. 

“Hopefully it will be all over after today. You can take some time to spend with them before going back to the Anbu, and you can take as much time as you want here with them.” He spoke with such sweetness in his voice, it felt like a dream. Reality was creeping in… It always crept in.

“You and I both know that can’t happen. I have to return as soon as I can, so as to not exhibit more weakness…” I grumbled as I squeezed him tighter. “But even still… They’re coming to work with me… So that’s ok.” I mumbled as I closed my eyes, feeling the warmth radiate from him. 

“Are you going to be ready?” He wondered as he started to rock us from side to side. 

“Yes.” I grumbled with my brows furrowing. He pulled away and our eyes drifted naturally towards each other. His brows were knitted upwards as he stared back at me. 

“I mean it. I don’t want you to go back sooner than what you’re ready for. It won’t help your status with them either if you do.” He reasoned with clear worry spread across his face. I cupped his face in my hands and brought his forehead down to mine. 

“I’ll be ready.” I assured him with my Lady Kunoichi voice. He placed a peck on to my lips, and tried to pull away, but I leaned in deeper. My hands pulled him closer to me, so I could feel those soft lips on mine just a little longer. 

“You. Need. To. Leave.” He muttered between kisses with his lips brushing against mine as he did so. His muffled sounds were stern, almost nearing frustrated. He had used his Hokage voice.

“Is that an order? Lord Sixth?” I teased as my hands smoothed over his cheeks, resting on the back of his neck as he watched me through narrowed eyes. My mouth was agape as the tip of my tongue ran along the roof of my mouth with a slight smirk across my face. He nosed his way to my ear and I turned away to give him plenty of space. 

“When you get back… I’m going to ravage you.” He spoke with that deep guttural growl before he bit at the air hard enough for me to hear his teek clink as his mouth closed. He exhaled deeply through his nose, the hot air tickling my skin, all sending shivers down my spine. His hands went to my wrists, he unhooked my hands and spun me around, undid my koshihimo, removed my yukata, and threw it onto the footboard all with blinding speed. He laid no hands on me, nor was his skin touching mine, but I could still feel his warmth hovering so closely to me. I bit my lip in anticipation as I waited for what would come next, but nothing came. “You need to go.” He whispered, and my heart sank. I knew he was right… I knew that the man I was following would be waking up right about now, rushing into the bathroom to upchuck all the memories from the night before. I knew that I only had a few moments left before he would get dressed and go on with his day as if everything was ok. I knew that I needed to be there, to watch and follow him like the shadow I was trained to be, but… I bent my neck back all the way so that the top of my head was pressed against Kakashi’s right pectoral. 

“I know.” I sighed before closing my eyes for one last little moment. I felt his hand brush at my cheek gently before his hand returned to his side. I pushed my head against him, to bounce myself off of him, to straighten and went to get my Anbu uniform to put on. I walked over to the vanity and brushed through my hair, which I hadn’t done in a few days. Afterwards I flipped my head upside down to gather my hair and flipped up to tightly wind a bun on the top. I walked over to the nightstand and started placing all the senbon into my hair with care while I felt Kakashi’s eyes on me. A bruising hand came down on my right lower cheek to then grope at where the bruise would be. His other hand traced residual bite marks along my shoulder as I felt his warmth against me. 

“Thought I’d give you something fresh.” He hummed into my ear to then place a kiss onto my cheek. “You ready?” He hummed as he spun me around to face him with his lips a few centimeters away from mine, and I answered with a nod. “I love you.” He told me as I felt his warm lips brush up against mine as he spoke. 

“I love you too.” I replied back to him. “Kakashi… Before I go.” I started before I stared deeply into his eyes, about to ask the question he knew I’ve been needing the answer to. “What’s the Mizukage’s response?”

“You have the green light. You are to immobilize and take them to the Mizukage directly. They said they will handle the interrogation. Your mission ends at delivering the package.” He explained in his Hokage voice. I broke free from his embrace to head towards my Owl mask. I raised my hood, put on both masks, and gave him a nod while looking at him over my shoulder. Once he nodded back, I returned to Kirigakure. 


	36. WHO IS WITH OUR CHILDREN?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt:  
> I watched the man for the entire day as he mindlessly completed his guard duty. Ironic I suppose. Either way all I could do was wait. So I waited. Waited as I watched him go back home. Waited until the dead of night. Waited until the world was asleep. Waited until he snuck out. Waited until he reached an abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of town. Always the abandoned warehouses. Surely enough, there were the four out of five recruits that he had managed to convince. They were all waiting inside the building, in the darkness. Them along with the other recruiters and their followers from the looks of it. There were fifty or so now. Their numbers were rising… And they were all waiting. I crawled down from the roof, down the side of the wall, and walked quietly on the floor. 

I watched the man for the entire day as he mindlessly completed his guard duty. Ironic I suppose. Either way all I could do was wait. So I waited. Waited as I watched him go back home. Waited until the dead of night. Waited until the world was asleep. Waited until he snuck out. Waited until he reached an abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of town. Always the abandoned warehouses. Surely enough, there were the four out of five recruits that he had managed to convince. They were all waiting inside the building, in the darkness. Them along with the other recruiters and their followers from the looks of it. There were fifty or so now. Their numbers were rising… And they were all waiting. I crawled down from the roof, down the side of the wall, and walked quietly on the floor. 

A man missing a hand came out from behind the shadows. It was the man from the memory I saw. He wore a navy blue yukata with a bright purple obi that matched his eerily bright eyes. It’s almost like they were glowing. His silken black hair draped around his face and covered one of his eyes as he tilted his head to the side. “My my, it seems that we’ve grown in numbers quite a bit since we last met.” His head straightened as his eyes scanned the crowd before him. “Soon enough, we’ll have enough members to enact the plan and bring back our old ways of the blood mist.” He hummed happily with a blank stare in his eyes and a smile on his face. He slid the arm without a hand into the neck of his yukata, where he rested his forearm against the tightness of his wound obi. 

He started to walk around in a circle, around his small army that he had amassed. Most seemed to have some sort of prevalent scar, or were permanently injured, all likely from the war. A few had no marks, but likely lost someone instead. As the numbers grew, he’d likely be able to turn people who hadn’t suffered the way they had… Smart. He started to explain his plan, now that he had circled his army, observing the fruits of his creation with such bloodlust in his eyes. “Soon we will have enough recruits to enact our plan. With those from the guard, we can coordinate to take out others within the guard on the night of the attack, ensuring to do so swiftly and quietly. With those in the Anbu and intelligence, we can intercept any incoming messages for reinforcements. What we need now, are the numbers.” There was a glint in his eye as he smiled while everyone watching him looked so proud of their leader. “What I need is for all of you to talk about us. To those who you trust. The rumors have already started, anyone who sounds like they might be interested, you approach. Still you must heed the warnings I gave you before. People will try to pry out information. People will manipulate you to try and squash us, because they do not see what we see. They don’t care about us, about our comrades! They only care about maintaining the peace with other villages, even at the cost of our own! They’ll happily ask us to sacrifice our own shinobi, but what have they ever done for us?! Nothing! They have done nothing!” The leader thundered with such passion, with such authority… I can see how easy it is to fall for his words. “But now we can take back our world. Our world of shinobi as we know it, no,  _ knew _ it. Nobody asked us if this is what we wanted, nobody told us that this is how things would be… Well no more!” He shouted and his followers began to rally along with their leader. “We will take back our shinobi world, and we will bring it to what we once knew!” Everyone was cheering, their eyes bright and full of hope, but their leader… There was something sinister in their eyes. It was the same look Danzo had when he nominated himself for hokage. It was one of nothing but wanting power. They all started to move around and mingle with each other, so I opened my mind to try to listen into the leader, but they had mindblocks up. 

I quickly and quietly moved out of the way of some people who were looking to leave the warehouse. The very one their leader had turned into his home. According to the Mizukage, the leader was Miura Daichi, he was presumed dead after the war as he disappeared and the body was never found. Seems Lady Mizukage was familiar with him, though she wouldn’t go into detail about how she knew him. From what I could gather from the others mind’s it seems he is indeed residing here, waiting until the right time to show his face again. So far they don’t seem to suspect anything… Now it’s just a wait and see whether or not my white haired friend would rat me out to his precious leader. He was approaching his leader now, so I crept up behind the leader, listening in. It seems my friend is hesitating, but thinking about mentioning it to the leader… The only reason they are not is for fear of being reprimanded… Fear of being shunned and having nowhere else to go… It seems my friend lost their closest friend in the war… What they didn’t mention to me about how they got the scar was that they got it trying to save their friend. No wonder he’s so broken. Too much emotion, I need to take a step back. 

She continued to listen in, though her friend never did admit to ‘sleeping’ with her nor did he mention how she was asking for war stories or anything else suspicious. Instead they talked about his recruits. Soon enough one by one they all left, after discussing their encounters, hopes, and potential recruits with their leader. Daichi retreated into a smaller room in the back, where there was a mattress, a weapons stockpile, a hot pot, clothes, and a few other things needed for them to survive. Now’s her chance. She phased into the room after they closed the door behind them and she crawled up onto the walls after lining her limbs with chakra. When she climbed on the ceiling, she paused behind them…  _ All that hair… I think I know where the point I need to hit is…  _ She thought as she debated internally whether she should risk it. Just as she was debating, Daichi pulled their hair to one side as they started to put it into a braid with their one hand.  _ Perfect _ . She thought as she pulled out a senbon from her hair. Just as she threw it, they moved to tie the braid with a ribbon at the end, causing her to miss and instead graze his jaw.  _ Fuck _ . 

Daichi skidded back while she flickered herself to the wall behind him, but he released a jutsu, one she heard about from Kakashi once. All at once, thousands of water needles came rushing towards her, so she looked away quickly to avoid getting hit in the eye. Once the needles stuck, she stayed completely still while looking away. She knew that if she moved, the needles would move, and thus reveal her location. If she made the needles invisible, that would leave a needless patch, which would give away her location. Anything she did, would give away her location, unless she stayed completely still, and waited for him to think it was nothing but their own paranoia. She heard footsteps approaching her, but she remained still, even going as far as to hold her breath. 

Daichi removed one of the needles from her stomach. After a moment she felt it sink in, as if he was pushing it in himself.  _ He knows… _ She concluded so she dropped down, swept his hand away, and revealed herself. 

“What gave it away, the depth perception? Clever.” She remarked as she stood in a defensive stance while studying him. He was amused, smirking as he sunk into his own defensive stance. She removed one of the needles only to find they weren’t water, they were ice. 

“So they did send someone to investigate… I’m surprised they only sent one person, they must not think too highly of my movement.” He contemplated before he lunged at her with an attempt to tackle her, but she quickly jumped, placed her hand on his shoulders to propel herself over him and land behind him. They both spun around quickly and faced each other, staring each other down. Soon enough he attempted a barrage of kicks, not quite landing blows, but occasionally sinking in the ice needles that had embedded into her skin. She jutted down and swept at his legs, sending him to the ground. She rushed to pin him, but his hand went to sink one of the needles in her calves, further in. A grunt escaped her as he managed to escape her grasp, and she knew this needed to end quickly. Her body flew up into a defensive stance as they circled each other. “You’re much tougher than I thought. I might need to call for backup…” He hummed with the smirk never leaving his face. “What…? You didn’t think I’d be here alone did you?” He was toying with her, and she knew it, but even still she used her sensory abilities to try and detect who else was near. There were about four people, one for each corner of the building. She hadn’t noticed them before because they themselves were using concealing techniques as well.  _ This isn’t good. I need to isolate him, and I need to do so without alerting the others.  _ She thought as she contemplated her next move. 

He lunged at her -  _ Perfect _ she thought - with his handless arm aiming her for her face. She grabbed onto his forearm and used the flying raijin to teleport them both to her office at the foundation. He started to look around and she quickly shrouded herself, making herself invisible and undetectable. 

“What is this? Some sort of genjutsu? No… It feels too real…” His mind appeared to be racing as he scanned his surroundings, his braid whipping around as he did. It would be impossible to stick a senbon into him this way, and she knew that. Instead, she would need to pin him some other way. She crawled up along the ceiling until she was hovering over him, waiting for him to be in the right position. Dropping down, she hooked her legs around his waist while behind him and she wrapped her arm around his neck and squeezed. He started to try to pry off her arm and he slammed her against the wall, but she didn’t falter. His handless hand started to hit her mask and she felt it fling off in the process, but still she didn’t let go. She felt him continue to pound into her face a few more times as blood trickled from her nose down to her upper lip and soaked into her skintight mask. He tried to pry off her legs next, but he couldn’t push them off. Instead he resorted to pulling at the kunai tucked into a strap on his leg. He stabbed her thigh, but she didn’t let go, not even when he twisted it. Her muscle ached as it tore and she continued to clench her thighs around his waist, to continue to hold herself up while she squeezed the breaths out of him. Red warmth streamed up and around her thigh as she clenched her legs around him, feeling him weaken at her hold. He tried to stab her again, but the wound was not nearly as deep given his fragile state. The next was a scratch as his legs gave in, but she held on until he collapsed with her back on the ground. She heaved heavy labored breaths as she felt the ice puncture her lung and used her other hand to use medical ninjutsu to verify his status. 

He’s unconscious, it’s over. I let go of Daichi and stared at the ceiling for a moment, as I felt the blood continuing to drip from my wounds with my back arched, trying to not let the needles move around any further. I could feel the hot thick wetness dripping around my skin as I caught my breath, the drops of blood hitting the tatami mats was the only other sound that could be heard right now. I pushed him off of me and sat up while pulling a senbon from my bun. Footsteps were rushing to me and I scrambled for my owl mask. The door swung open just as I placed the needle to temporarily paralyze Daichi, should he wake up anytime soon. I spun around while seated and faced the two guards at the door. 

“What have I told you about coming into my office without permission!” I shouted while out of breath at the guards who’s stance looked panicked. At hearing my words one of them stood attention while the other seemed to just stand straight. Without another thought, I felt the chakra within my body to determine how to best use it and allocate it appropriately for healing my wounds. I sighed for a moment as I looked at the wound on my thigh. It was deep and was gushing pretty badly, but I could hardly breathe. The needle in my lung was the only thing keeping my lung from collapsing and that alone was melting. First I removed the ice needle with both hands, started medical ninjutsu and shoved a finger into the puncture trying to heal everything before my lung collapsed. Something doesn’t feel quite right, but that will have to do for now. I quickly started medical ninjutsu to stop the bleeding and seal up the wound on my thigh, but my chakra was far too low from having to conceal myself this entire time… “Do either of you know any fire jutsu?” I questioned over to the two guards who were watching from afar. They both flinched at my gruff tone, though it wasn’t intentional for me to sound like that. One of them nodded hesitantly while the other continued to idle. “Both of you, come in.” I ordered. They slowly came up to me from behind and stood by. 

“Lady Kuniochi, should we bring you to a medical ninja?” One of them asked.

“No time. Falcon right? I need you to heat up the blade with your fire jutsu, hot… Burning hot.” I ordered while turned to the tall and lanky man wearing the mask with a large beak. 

“Aren’t you supposed to know medical ninjutsu?” The one with a cat like mask asked as Falcon heated up the kunai. 

“Yes, but my chakra is too depleted to use it now. I’m also not going to shorten my lifespan and use my tattoo just because I don’t want to leave a scar. My body is riddled with them already, I really couldn’t care less.” I explained as I put pressure onto the wound. Falcon handed me the kunai carefully and I could see how hot it was based on the color the metal had taken. I took in a deep breath, pinched the wound shut with one hand, and rested the blade on the wound with the other to cauterize the wound. I grunted as my toes curled, trying to force the tension out that way while the two guardsmen stood by. “Tie him up with chakra rope, be careful with the needle in his neck. Don’t let it sink any deeper.” I commanded through gritted teeth with my eyes held tightly shut. I heard shuffling around as I let the kunai fall to the ground. I could feel my heart racing with adrenaline kicked in, but I was so exhausted at the same time. My eyes felt so good held shut, but my mind was racing a mile a minute. 

“Is there anything else you’d like us to do, Lady Kunoichi?” My eyes opened to follow the man wearing cat like mask. His demeanor seemed less guarded now. These Anbu members are some sadistic fucks, only trusting me when they see me injured trying to ‘tough it out’. I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same if I was in their position. 

“No. Thank you for your assistance.” I told them both before placing my hand onto Daichi and using the last bit of chakra for the flying raijin to get home. My body collapsed onto the ground and the last thing I saw was my star waking up to then rush to help me. 

* * *

I woke up with Kakashi hunched over, his head resting at the edge of the hospital bed, and the sun out and shining. Wait. If he’s asleep that means no shadow clones… My eyes scanned the room, but my two baby boys were nowhere to be found. I shook Kakashi vigorously, trying to wake him up, despite my aching body. “Kakashi!” I snapped. His head jolted up as he awoke and his eyes began studying my face. “Who is with our children?!” I fumed. His shoulders slumped, seemingly getting relaxed, as a smile formed on his lips. He scooted the chair forward and gently rested his head on my lap with his eyes closed despite facing me. 

“Ino’s with them.” He hummed with a sigh. 

“How long was I out?” I questioned as I felt all the tension leave my body and I sunk back into the fluffy pillows on the hospital bed. 

“Just the night. They said you can go home when you wake up. They patched up the needle injuries. Nothing bad. Though…” He trailed off as he lifted his head up and pulled back at the sheets to reveal my right thigh… Where my new scar was healing up nicely. “What happened?” 

“Stabbed… I didn’t have enough chakra to stop the bleeding, and I needed some to get back to you, so you could take me to deal with the other injuries. It’s fine… In fact, my methods earned me brownie points with one of the members.” I explained with a smile making its way on my own lips. Kakashi covered my leg and when he turned to me, all I could see was his frown. “They’re rather sadistic in the Anbu, aren’t they?” I joked but his expression didn’t change. I ran my fingers through his hair and he stood up to place a kiss on my forehead. “What about the guy I was with?” I asked. 

“Ino’s watching him too.” He pulled my head and pressed it into his abdomen as his hand stroked my bicep. 

“Can we go home? I want to see my two boys.” I pleaded as I let my fingertips trace along the outlines of his muscles. He placed a kiss on top of my head before he stood back. 

“I’ll go tell the medical ninjas that you’re awake and ready to leave.” He crouched down by my bedside with his chin just above the mattress. He took my hand in his and placed a sweet kiss on it as he watched me watching him for another moment. He slowly walked out of the room while I turned on my side to watch him leave. I closed my eyes and thought about my two precious babes waiting for me at home. I’m glad Ino is there… I hope she’s taken a liking to them. “Kessho?” I heard Kakashi’s voice so I opened my eyes to see him approaching me. He crouched by the bed and ran his fingers through my hair as he watched me straight faced. “Are you sure you don’t want to rest a little more here, first?” He asked quietly and his voice sounded so soothing. 

“Yes.” I winced as I sat up and Kakashi’s hands went to cautiously guide me. “I want to see my boys.” I told him as I got up off of the bed while taking in a deep breath. Everything ached. It felt like I had been made into swiss cheese. In a way I suppose I had been. The current head of the emergency medical ninjutsu came through the doors to my room as Kakashi took my arm to wrap around his neck. He had short red hair, reminiscent of that of Kushina, and stubble along his narrowed jaw. There were bags under his tired seafoam eyes, but he still wore a fake smile.

“You certainly like to give me a challenge.” He joked while looking at what was presumably my chart.

“Wouldn’t want you to get bored now Eiko.” I teased with a smile.

“Just take it easy. They did some pretty heavy damage to your leg, and you didn’t help with the burn. You’ll need a week to be able to use it properly again… That’s counting even if you do push yourself.” He digressed with a sigh and he finally looked up at me. “Be careful. I know you don’t like to use it much, but your mind is too valuable to lose.” He joked again while tapping me on the forehead with his pen. Kakashi took my arm and placed it around his shoulders as his other wrapped around my waist to steady me and we started to walk out as we headed home.


End file.
